I made Rendang Lamb Shank yesterday.
It was the first time I cooked something like that and even though the rendang paste (rendang is a dry red curry) is from a packet, I managed to whip out shank meat that give to the bite, melt in the mouth and entirely devoid of the musk (or whatever you call that smell) that comes with the goat. I wish I had a picture but alas, the mouths moved faster than the feet to the camera.
Here's the recipe, if you are intending to try:
2 lamb shanks (1 kg)
500 ml plain yogurt
100 ml whipped cream (or replace with 100 ml yogurt)
200 ml water
1 onion sliced
1 carrot diced
2 tomatoes diced
Butter and cooking oil
1 packet rendang paste (for 1.3 kg meat)
Generous dash of port (optional)
Salt/sugar to taste
Juice from 1 lemon (optinal)
Lots of love and patience
1. Make sure that lamb shanks are defrosted when you start.
2. Clean lamb shanks and puncture the muscles with a knife. Make sure you get deep holes in the flesh where you can easily slide your index finger in totally.
3. Marinate the lamb shank with 300 ml yogurt. Massage the yogurt all over the outside and the deep scores of the meat for an hour.
4. Heat in a deep pot butter and oil and fry onion till transparent or lightly browned. Your pot should be just big enough to fit the two shanks, or you'll have to add a lot more water and yogurt to cook them.
5. Remove the lamb from the yogurt and squeeze dry. Add to the pot and brown all the sides. When both shanks are seared and the pot base is getting burnt, add port, all the water, and 200 ml of yogurt. Make sure you stir the mixture till the yogurt and water are well mixed. The liquids should just about cover the shanks. There may be some bits sticking out but that is fine. You need to turn the meat anyway.
6. Simmer over medium low heat and let the liquids reduce. Make sure you stir occasionally to prevent the base from sticking and turn the shanks to ensure even cooking.
7. After about 40 minutes, add the rendang mixture and the whipped cream/yogurt and combine into the liquids.
8. Continue simmering until the liquids reduce to half the amount where you started and the meat is ready to fall off the bone if lightly tugged at. Use a fork, if you really want to see how sinewy it still is. Before you turn off the fire, add seasonings to taste. I love my food slightly tart as the acids help cut through the grease. So I added the juice of one lemon.
9. Cool, skim the excess oil from the top of the pot and serve with hot plain rice and any salad. Lassi is recommended if you need to cut the spiciness.
Serves 2 - 4 people, depending on their appetites.
The beauty of this dish is that it allows you to decide how dry you want your curry base and how soft you want the meat. If you want more curry base, add more yogurt/milk. Water is ok but it dilutes the gravy. If you want firmer meat, remove meat when you are ok with the texture and do whatever you want to the gravy before you put back the meat to warm before you serve.
Be warned though - if curry is your stuff, you may go through a padi field by the time the meal is over.
Anyway, my next dinner party guests could be in luck!
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Friday, August 08, 2008
The Counterfeiters
I think I watched The Counterfeiters on my way back from Taiwan on KrisWorld, the SQ IFE System. In case you are not aware, the movie won the 2007 Best Foreign Language Film Oscar.
I have never been much of a mainstream movie person. I didn't like many films. But I usually enjoy an indie flick or a foreign language film. Heck, I even enjoyed the cockneyed Indian movies about how this poor guy (girl) falls in love with a rich girl (guy) and their family vehemently protests the social class imbalance.
Enter Banana Trees, Coconut Trees... But these days, expensive flicks they've become. Enter Rome Spanish Steps, Eiffel Tower of Paris etc etc. I've since stopped watching these when I realised that all the director and cast wanted were a free holiday. Man, how can a broke guy go to the Spanish Steps and dance up and down those damned steps? Crazy!
Still, I must say that The Counterfeiters was an interesting film.
Actually, the only reason why I recalled this was T. F.'s invitation for me to buy a good printer and start printing money. I guess if I have the skill and know how, I'll do a wad of USD 10 bills and spend it in Las Vegas. I mean, easy come, easy go. Who knows I might even get to launder them while I'm there.
I guess many of us, when younger, would love money. I don't know if I could say I love money now. I can't do without it, I confess, but to say that I'm in love with money is a little simplistic.
I still enjoy unexpected small windfalls but other than that, money is hard earned. Hard come, but still easy go. What would I do if I had a money printing machine? Not much, I guess. I'd be too lazy to do all the printing. I'll more likely ask Shade to help me print some and then I just take and spend. No, forget it. Shade will kill the machine. He'll attempt to print gazillion pieces, whatever the amount is. The machine will just die because the edges become dull from excessive use.
The Counterfeiters is an interesting show to watch. It is amazing how the skill to swindle is actually a skill that kept the guy alive. There is much irony in the show, despite it being rather dark.
I remember when the Nazis finally surrendered and the group of counterfeiters were found by their countrymen. The conmen were nearly shot because their countrymen found them "too fat" to be survivors of war! The Nazis kept them well-fed so that they could devote all their energies to work towards the diabolical ends of ruining the US and UK economies with lots of fake notes.
If you have time, have a watch.
I have never been much of a mainstream movie person. I didn't like many films. But I usually enjoy an indie flick or a foreign language film. Heck, I even enjoyed the cockneyed Indian movies about how this poor guy (girl) falls in love with a rich girl (guy) and their family vehemently protests the social class imbalance.
Enter Banana Trees, Coconut Trees... But these days, expensive flicks they've become. Enter Rome Spanish Steps, Eiffel Tower of Paris etc etc. I've since stopped watching these when I realised that all the director and cast wanted were a free holiday. Man, how can a broke guy go to the Spanish Steps and dance up and down those damned steps? Crazy!
Still, I must say that The Counterfeiters was an interesting film.
Actually, the only reason why I recalled this was T. F.'s invitation for me to buy a good printer and start printing money. I guess if I have the skill and know how, I'll do a wad of USD 10 bills and spend it in Las Vegas. I mean, easy come, easy go. Who knows I might even get to launder them while I'm there.
I guess many of us, when younger, would love money. I don't know if I could say I love money now. I can't do without it, I confess, but to say that I'm in love with money is a little simplistic.
I still enjoy unexpected small windfalls but other than that, money is hard earned. Hard come, but still easy go. What would I do if I had a money printing machine? Not much, I guess. I'd be too lazy to do all the printing. I'll more likely ask Shade to help me print some and then I just take and spend. No, forget it. Shade will kill the machine. He'll attempt to print gazillion pieces, whatever the amount is. The machine will just die because the edges become dull from excessive use.
The Counterfeiters is an interesting show to watch. It is amazing how the skill to swindle is actually a skill that kept the guy alive. There is much irony in the show, despite it being rather dark.
I remember when the Nazis finally surrendered and the group of counterfeiters were found by their countrymen. The conmen were nearly shot because their countrymen found them "too fat" to be survivors of war! The Nazis kept them well-fed so that they could devote all their energies to work towards the diabolical ends of ruining the US and UK economies with lots of fake notes.
If you have time, have a watch.
Politics and the English Language
I wish I have so much knowledge of politics and the masterful ability to manipulate English like Orwell could.
And then I watch my group self-destruct as I rip their pieces to sub-atomic particles.
Ok, knowing myself, I won't do that. But I'll definitely hope to give them a good grounding in what to and not to do in writing.
If I could turn one of them interested enough to pursue a career in rhetoric and persuasion, I'll be very satisfied with myself.
After all, writing is tough. And watching Orwell tear other writers to pieces - some of them professors, no less - makes me glad that he's dead and now silent.
I could only hope I could illuminate half as brightly as Orwell could when it comes to rhetorical pitfalls when I begin teaching freshman writing.
And then I watch my group self-destruct as I rip their pieces to sub-atomic particles.
Ok, knowing myself, I won't do that. But I'll definitely hope to give them a good grounding in what to and not to do in writing.
If I could turn one of them interested enough to pursue a career in rhetoric and persuasion, I'll be very satisfied with myself.
After all, writing is tough. And watching Orwell tear other writers to pieces - some of them professors, no less - makes me glad that he's dead and now silent.
I could only hope I could illuminate half as brightly as Orwell could when it comes to rhetorical pitfalls when I begin teaching freshman writing.
2008 Beijing Olympics
Supposed to start today.
I wonder what will happen.
Birds' Nest collapse?
Multiple bombs detonated at all venues?
Sand storm starts at 6 pm suddenly and envelopes the entire city in a layer of yellow grainy dust?
Massive food poisoning for all athletes?
Fireworks self-ignition on the ground?
Who knows...?
Could be something equal to the big bang.
I wait.
And see.
I wonder what will happen.
Birds' Nest collapse?
Multiple bombs detonated at all venues?
Sand storm starts at 6 pm suddenly and envelopes the entire city in a layer of yellow grainy dust?
Massive food poisoning for all athletes?
Fireworks self-ignition on the ground?
Who knows...?
Could be something equal to the big bang.
I wait.
And see.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Political tadpole
I believe if my memory did not fail me, Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew did call his brother a political tadpole. You know, so little knowledge of politics and the inside workings.
Recently, I followed a big online "spat" between two bloggers I hold in equally high esteem. I'd better tread carefully here because I realise that either of them have all the time to retaliate against me than I would ever have in my life. I'm not entirely sure but it's a safe assumption, unless I want to be deluged with death threats from both sides of the big pond.
Interestingly, when I visited my uncle in Taiwan during my holidays, he too, I realised, is extremely passionate about politics. We could never get any political discussion started because the political systems involved were vastly different.
If Singapore had a parliament, yes we adapted the Westminster style, that could have fist fights, our economy would have long died. Singapore could only thrive when there is a quasi-communist democracy. Don't take me to task -this is the way I see it and I am entitled to my opinion. I can't find something more appropriate at the moment but I am open to suggestions - for naming that ideological leaning(s) only.
We have a highly paternalistic government that almost decides for us what should be done, with room for you to choose how you want to do it. We have unions - interestingly in a tripartite arrangement with the government and the workers. It isn't the neatest arrangement but we probably need it.
To understand Singapore better, one can probably go to wikipedia. But what I wanted to say is that the political tadpole analogy seems terribly damning.
Even when the tadpole grows up, he's probably a frog in a political well...
I guess being arm chair political critics are easy. Just like backseat drivers.
But as long as we reach the intended destination, we probably have to grin and bear with the motion sickness. After all, at least for me, Singapore did not get here with a bumbling government.
Recently, I followed a big online "spat" between two bloggers I hold in equally high esteem. I'd better tread carefully here because I realise that either of them have all the time to retaliate against me than I would ever have in my life. I'm not entirely sure but it's a safe assumption, unless I want to be deluged with death threats from both sides of the big pond.
Interestingly, when I visited my uncle in Taiwan during my holidays, he too, I realised, is extremely passionate about politics. We could never get any political discussion started because the political systems involved were vastly different.
If Singapore had a parliament, yes we adapted the Westminster style, that could have fist fights, our economy would have long died. Singapore could only thrive when there is a quasi-communist democracy. Don't take me to task -this is the way I see it and I am entitled to my opinion. I can't find something more appropriate at the moment but I am open to suggestions - for naming that ideological leaning(s) only.
We have a highly paternalistic government that almost decides for us what should be done, with room for you to choose how you want to do it. We have unions - interestingly in a tripartite arrangement with the government and the workers. It isn't the neatest arrangement but we probably need it.
To understand Singapore better, one can probably go to wikipedia. But what I wanted to say is that the political tadpole analogy seems terribly damning.
Even when the tadpole grows up, he's probably a frog in a political well...
I guess being arm chair political critics are easy. Just like backseat drivers.
But as long as we reach the intended destination, we probably have to grin and bear with the motion sickness. After all, at least for me, Singapore did not get here with a bumbling government.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
How do you spend your $50?
I typically break a $50 after a good meal and the remaining 10 to 20 over bucks can last me another three or four lunches.
These days, a lunch at some run down eating place sets me back in excess of 10 bucks!
So, instead of $50 lasting me a few days, it's usually gone in one.
It helps that I don't have vices such as visiting p.......... (no, you may not buy a vowel), drinking alcohol, gambling, etc etc. Still, the way the cash sublimes into thin air is a little debilitating.
All I do is to treat myself to some decent meal once a while and I'm hardly seeing any change coming back.
On groceries, $50 used to get me a trolleyfull at NTUC. Now, it costs around twice as much.
So, yeah, watching my expenses would tell me where the $50 is going and if I am getting my money's worth.
These days, a lunch at some run down eating place sets me back in excess of 10 bucks!
So, instead of $50 lasting me a few days, it's usually gone in one.
It helps that I don't have vices such as visiting p.......... (no, you may not buy a vowel), drinking alcohol, gambling, etc etc. Still, the way the cash sublimes into thin air is a little debilitating.
All I do is to treat myself to some decent meal once a while and I'm hardly seeing any change coming back.
On groceries, $50 used to get me a trolleyfull at NTUC. Now, it costs around twice as much.
So, yeah, watching my expenses would tell me where the $50 is going and if I am getting my money's worth.
Monday, August 04, 2008
$50 don't last long...
In recent days, inflation has taken a terrible toll on my pocket. I discover that $50 don't last as long as they did a few months ago.
The wallet empties out really fast. I should start watching my expenses.
The wallet empties out really fast. I should start watching my expenses.
We can forget
Long before I switched over to my new touchpad laptop, I stopped synching my brick of a cellphone with my Microsoft Outlook.
The only problem I have now is that my GPS is not updated as I was unable to get the phone to establish an internet connection via my new PC.
Then he spent the entire afternoon and a good part of the evening first synching the phone against an empty slate and losing all my information, restoring it from a grossly outdated database - I'm still missing lots and worse I don't know what's missing, and then successfully updated the GPS program.
But meanwhile, I lost so much time to do things that would otherwise have put me in a better mood than I am now. I am in a terribly foul mood because I now need to re-input all my appointments, if I know where to find the info, and I didn't manage to get the use of the computer.
The short of the long story is this: We are able to actually live without updates or reminders from things we had in the past and we don't even know what we have lost.
We can forget. It's just whether physically, we are as ready to lose our useless tangible baggage as easily as our minds lost their mental burdens.
I shall continue to strive to streamline my physical belongings.
The only problem I have now is that my GPS is not updated as I was unable to get the phone to establish an internet connection via my new PC.
Then he spent the entire afternoon and a good part of the evening first synching the phone against an empty slate and losing all my information, restoring it from a grossly outdated database - I'm still missing lots and worse I don't know what's missing, and then successfully updated the GPS program.
But meanwhile, I lost so much time to do things that would otherwise have put me in a better mood than I am now. I am in a terribly foul mood because I now need to re-input all my appointments, if I know where to find the info, and I didn't manage to get the use of the computer.
The short of the long story is this: We are able to actually live without updates or reminders from things we had in the past and we don't even know what we have lost.
We can forget. It's just whether physically, we are as ready to lose our useless tangible baggage as easily as our minds lost their mental burdens.
I shall continue to strive to streamline my physical belongings.
The Bucket List
I watched The Bucket List last night. The Day After Tomorrow was showing free on air. Having watched TDAT at least twice and youthful Jake was no longer as eye candy as before, I decided to take on the offer to do TBL instead.
To say that it was a great movie would not do it justice. It has inspired me to make up my own bucket list as I move along in life. I only wish I had someone rich enough to help me fulfill most of them.
It is amazing, to say the least, watching two very brilliant actors - Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman - duelling in a simple movie that tugged at heartstrings. It would have been a low-budget flick but I bet Jack and Morgan took the roles with the caveat that they get to travel to and visit Italy and some swanky restaurant on top on a hill, watching sunset over dinner, South Africa (Johannesburg) and a safari (hey, they even watched the wildebeest crossing - and I only get to see that on Discovery!) and Egypt and the Egyptian pyramids, India and the Taj Mahal, Nepal and almost Mount Everest, and Hong Kong.
Both raced in Shelby Mustangs in the US, did sky diving, Jack got a tattoo, Morgan nearly got laid (but his loyalty to his wife kept him from taking up the offer), both jetsetted in Jack's private Learjet... Perks galore!
Read here to find out what the movie is really about.
While critics generally panned the movie, I liked it. I am typically not your everybody movie goer. I judge by a different set of standards. First on my list - should the movie even be made? Readers who've seen my other movie reviews know my stand that a movie should not be made for the sake of being made. But I digress.
Emotional dramas are typically panned regardless of how good they are. Remember Titanic? The critics hated it big time: waif-like Leonardo DiCaprio getting to hug busomy Kate Winslet on a palace created to be sunk probably fuelled their jealousy. But what's there to really hate the TBL, even if it had surpassed reality for a little? It merely asked viewers two simple questions:
1. Are you happy?
2. Have you made people happy?
These were brought to the forefront when at the top of some ruins, Carter (Freeman) mentioned that the ancient Egyptians believed that when they died, they would go to the gates of heaven where their final fates depended on their answers to the two questions above. Carter asked Edwards (Nicholson) for his reply. It was there and then that Edwards let on about his estranged relationship with his only daughter.
It took Carter some prodding and perhaps also his death to get Ed and his daughter to reconcile. But Edward did do it.
Though an emo-drama, a viewer does not get the gloom and doom feeling of watching a show where the two male leads are inevitably going to die. The Bucket List is really a list of things they want to do before they kick the bucket. Edwards was introduced to this philosophical list when Carter thrashed his half completed list after he received his death sentence from his oncologist. Apparently, this list was mooted by Carter's philo professor when he was an undergraduate in some college; he had to drop out after an unplanned pregnancy and low funds disrupted his plans to become a history professor. Edward added to the list and soon, it came a to-do list where both men embarked on with every intention of completing.
The unlikely friendship between Carter and Edward was amazing. The stoic and measured Carter is the complete complete opposite of the emotional and explosive Edward. The counterbalances in the movie are well-calibrated and I tell you, Jack could act with just eyes - he lay on the hospital bed when the doctor came in with a grim prognosis. Viewers could only see Jack's eyes through the lenses of a periscope mounted on his glasses to allow him to read newspapers and watch TV when fully reclined. Man, those expressive eyes said it all. "You're blocking me," he told off the doctor after he delivered the diagnosis and prognosis, showing his strength of character.
It is always encouraging when you see two people nearing the ends of their lives living to the fullest. I guess time is wasted on the living. Perhaps when people know they are going to die that they start treasuring time, in case there is no tomorrow. But wouldn't that be too late?
"A survey asked people if they wanted to know exactly when they would die. 96% said no. I guess I am one of those 4% who wanted. I think it would be good. But when it happened, I am not so sure anymore." Carter narrated this as he got his death sentence. But hey, life began for him after this!
People should have their bucket lists. It is not a list to showcase what they have achieved in life but to give meaning to life. The list may grow as the items get struck off. But taking action rather than to wait for an impending doom to act is perhaps one of the best way to live.
To say that it was a great movie would not do it justice. It has inspired me to make up my own bucket list as I move along in life. I only wish I had someone rich enough to help me fulfill most of them.
It is amazing, to say the least, watching two very brilliant actors - Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman - duelling in a simple movie that tugged at heartstrings. It would have been a low-budget flick but I bet Jack and Morgan took the roles with the caveat that they get to travel to and visit Italy and some swanky restaurant on top on a hill, watching sunset over dinner, South Africa (Johannesburg) and a safari (hey, they even watched the wildebeest crossing - and I only get to see that on Discovery!) and Egypt and the Egyptian pyramids, India and the Taj Mahal, Nepal and almost Mount Everest, and Hong Kong.
Both raced in Shelby Mustangs in the US, did sky diving, Jack got a tattoo, Morgan nearly got laid (but his loyalty to his wife kept him from taking up the offer), both jetsetted in Jack's private Learjet... Perks galore!
Read here to find out what the movie is really about.
While critics generally panned the movie, I liked it. I am typically not your everybody movie goer. I judge by a different set of standards. First on my list - should the movie even be made? Readers who've seen my other movie reviews know my stand that a movie should not be made for the sake of being made. But I digress.
Emotional dramas are typically panned regardless of how good they are. Remember Titanic? The critics hated it big time: waif-like Leonardo DiCaprio getting to hug busomy Kate Winslet on a palace created to be sunk probably fuelled their jealousy. But what's there to really hate the TBL, even if it had surpassed reality for a little? It merely asked viewers two simple questions:
1. Are you happy?
2. Have you made people happy?
These were brought to the forefront when at the top of some ruins, Carter (Freeman) mentioned that the ancient Egyptians believed that when they died, they would go to the gates of heaven where their final fates depended on their answers to the two questions above. Carter asked Edwards (Nicholson) for his reply. It was there and then that Edwards let on about his estranged relationship with his only daughter.
It took Carter some prodding and perhaps also his death to get Ed and his daughter to reconcile. But Edward did do it.
Though an emo-drama, a viewer does not get the gloom and doom feeling of watching a show where the two male leads are inevitably going to die. The Bucket List is really a list of things they want to do before they kick the bucket. Edwards was introduced to this philosophical list when Carter thrashed his half completed list after he received his death sentence from his oncologist. Apparently, this list was mooted by Carter's philo professor when he was an undergraduate in some college; he had to drop out after an unplanned pregnancy and low funds disrupted his plans to become a history professor. Edward added to the list and soon, it came a to-do list where both men embarked on with every intention of completing.
The unlikely friendship between Carter and Edward was amazing. The stoic and measured Carter is the complete complete opposite of the emotional and explosive Edward. The counterbalances in the movie are well-calibrated and I tell you, Jack could act with just eyes - he lay on the hospital bed when the doctor came in with a grim prognosis. Viewers could only see Jack's eyes through the lenses of a periscope mounted on his glasses to allow him to read newspapers and watch TV when fully reclined. Man, those expressive eyes said it all. "You're blocking me," he told off the doctor after he delivered the diagnosis and prognosis, showing his strength of character.
It is always encouraging when you see two people nearing the ends of their lives living to the fullest. I guess time is wasted on the living. Perhaps when people know they are going to die that they start treasuring time, in case there is no tomorrow. But wouldn't that be too late?
"A survey asked people if they wanted to know exactly when they would die. 96% said no. I guess I am one of those 4% who wanted. I think it would be good. But when it happened, I am not so sure anymore." Carter narrated this as he got his death sentence. But hey, life began for him after this!
People should have their bucket lists. It is not a list to showcase what they have achieved in life but to give meaning to life. The list may grow as the items get struck off. But taking action rather than to wait for an impending doom to act is perhaps one of the best way to live.
Friday, August 01, 2008
She writes... He writes...
Thanks to Mr Singh, I have ideas for the next blog entry.
Readers alert: Vulgar language.
She writes...
Dear Journal,
Haiyah, another new teacher. This time it's this airhead asking if we like to skate. Skate... sigh, cheapskate more like it. One day this teacher who promise us everything, the next day, come in and give what spelling test.
Sex-key-per-there-lian? Talking about me in chastity belt is it?
Die-ah-them? Yeah, you're right. Those bloody boys all should die for laughing at me.
Guo-dam? Wh... what is that? Is it go or is it them?
I really have no idea. I scored zero and many of my friends also. Everything so difficult. And when he returned us the spelling test the next day, he became this saviour of the world again, muttering that "I'll turn you all into aces."
Ace Ventura Pet Detective? I dun wan. Be aces for what? I just want to find a rich man who loves me. Oh, forget about love. Just make sure the money is there and the sex is good.
Talk about sex, this is depressing. The bloody stick showed positive. I'm two weeks late. And that stupid boy act blur like nothing has happened.
He promise me nothing will happen one. He says the "we draw her" method is very accurate. And he asked me to calculate my cycle. Aiyoh, what cycle? Bicycle? I this month 5 weeks, last month 6 weeks, two months back 4 weeks... Calculate what?
Do, do lah. No big deal. But I'm getting scared. Cos I'm feeling like vomiting sometimes in the morning. And it's been two weeks...
Please, Journal, I can't be preggie. Not now.
Digress again. Sigh, that's my biggest problem. I always forget and start going off in all directions.
That stupid man. He made us write a literature essay. Literature essay is always boring. I racked my brains and came up with a half-page answer and then he complained and complained that my points were not supported, I didn't write grammatically.... yah dah yah dah yah dah. He dunno I didn't choose lit one meh? It was given to me because the D&T teacher didn't want me (they say I got gold fingers, cannot touch tools), the F&N teacher say I got butter fingers, and the art teacher said I got lazy fingers. So I got to do lit. But what the hell is Romeo and Juliet doing?
The question is so stupid. "In what way had the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets affected the people around them?" Simple mah, Mercutio died, Tybalt died. The Nurse played middleman and acted as the messenger (almost like traitor like dat) and... So boring, just write out the half page and in the end spend another 2 weeks rewriting.
I really give up. Shit, need to go and pee already... wait a while.
Still nothing. I think I'm screwed.
Love,
Huay.
PS. Actually, the new lit teacher quite good looking. I like his moustache and I really wonder if he is as good as he looks. ;)
He writes...
Wah lau eh, write what journal? Everytime ask me to write journal write journal. I simply hate writing man. Wah, better stop complaining. Write so many words already. Incredible.
That bloody woman keeps badgering me that her big aunt not here yet. Who the fuck cares whether it comes or not? To me, it's very clear. I pull out and everything shoot on her belly. Should be lah. Can't see too clearly. The grass patch under the Whitley Road flyover is not very well-lit. But I really pull out before it shoot. So if she's pregnant, so what? How can she prove it's mine?
But she's good man. My groin feel very shiok. I wonder when I can have her best friend also. Maybe both of them... :P
The new lit teacher is really a pain in my ass man. Talk with that accent and tries to win us over with his skateboard. Wah, simi lai eh? Skateboard? These days, I already riding motorbike. Still skateboard. Wu yah bo?
I think he's got a cuckoo jiao in his head. One day, we tells us we are at the top of the world, the next he told us we are complete morons. After that, he said we will turn into aces. With our spelling tests results so excellent, yeah, right. That's all I can say.
Sex kwee pay the lian - me pay the lian for sex? Unlikely leh... so far it's always under the flyover.
Pussy learn i must - what? I still need to learn pussy? Chey, I literally learn to eat pussies liao.
But what the fuck lah. Still get zero for the test. What to do? I not the study type. I wonder if I have a chance to go out and be bouncer. After all, my basketball physique is not too bad. And I'm big, long and strong.
Hard again. Let me take care of it.
Kwee Seng.
Readers alert: Vulgar language.
She writes...
Dear Journal,
Haiyah, another new teacher. This time it's this airhead asking if we like to skate. Skate... sigh, cheapskate more like it. One day this teacher who promise us everything, the next day, come in and give what spelling test.
Sex-key-per-there-lian? Talking about me in chastity belt is it?
Die-ah-them? Yeah, you're right. Those bloody boys all should die for laughing at me.
Guo-dam? Wh... what is that? Is it go or is it them?
I really have no idea. I scored zero and many of my friends also. Everything so difficult. And when he returned us the spelling test the next day, he became this saviour of the world again, muttering that "I'll turn you all into aces."
Ace Ventura Pet Detective? I dun wan. Be aces for what? I just want to find a rich man who loves me. Oh, forget about love. Just make sure the money is there and the sex is good.
Talk about sex, this is depressing. The bloody stick showed positive. I'm two weeks late. And that stupid boy act blur like nothing has happened.
He promise me nothing will happen one. He says the "we draw her" method is very accurate. And he asked me to calculate my cycle. Aiyoh, what cycle? Bicycle? I this month 5 weeks, last month 6 weeks, two months back 4 weeks... Calculate what?
Do, do lah. No big deal. But I'm getting scared. Cos I'm feeling like vomiting sometimes in the morning. And it's been two weeks...
Please, Journal, I can't be preggie. Not now.
Digress again. Sigh, that's my biggest problem. I always forget and start going off in all directions.
That stupid man. He made us write a literature essay. Literature essay is always boring. I racked my brains and came up with a half-page answer and then he complained and complained that my points were not supported, I didn't write grammatically.... yah dah yah dah yah dah. He dunno I didn't choose lit one meh? It was given to me because the D&T teacher didn't want me (they say I got gold fingers, cannot touch tools), the F&N teacher say I got butter fingers, and the art teacher said I got lazy fingers. So I got to do lit. But what the hell is Romeo and Juliet doing?
The question is so stupid. "In what way had the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets affected the people around them?" Simple mah, Mercutio died, Tybalt died. The Nurse played middleman and acted as the messenger (almost like traitor like dat) and... So boring, just write out the half page and in the end spend another 2 weeks rewriting.
I really give up. Shit, need to go and pee already... wait a while.
Still nothing. I think I'm screwed.
Love,
Huay.
PS. Actually, the new lit teacher quite good looking. I like his moustache and I really wonder if he is as good as he looks. ;)
He writes...
Wah lau eh, write what journal? Everytime ask me to write journal write journal. I simply hate writing man. Wah, better stop complaining. Write so many words already. Incredible.
That bloody woman keeps badgering me that her big aunt not here yet. Who the fuck cares whether it comes or not? To me, it's very clear. I pull out and everything shoot on her belly. Should be lah. Can't see too clearly. The grass patch under the Whitley Road flyover is not very well-lit. But I really pull out before it shoot. So if she's pregnant, so what? How can she prove it's mine?
But she's good man. My groin feel very shiok. I wonder when I can have her best friend also. Maybe both of them... :P
The new lit teacher is really a pain in my ass man. Talk with that accent and tries to win us over with his skateboard. Wah, simi lai eh? Skateboard? These days, I already riding motorbike. Still skateboard. Wu yah bo?
I think he's got a cuckoo jiao in his head. One day, we tells us we are at the top of the world, the next he told us we are complete morons. After that, he said we will turn into aces. With our spelling tests results so excellent, yeah, right. That's all I can say.
Sex kwee pay the lian - me pay the lian for sex? Unlikely leh... so far it's always under the flyover.
Pussy learn i must - what? I still need to learn pussy? Chey, I literally learn to eat pussies liao.
But what the fuck lah. Still get zero for the test. What to do? I not the study type. I wonder if I have a chance to go out and be bouncer. After all, my basketball physique is not too bad. And I'm big, long and strong.
Hard again. Let me take care of it.
Kwee Seng.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
He was sure he would change the world
I read with this knowing moronic smile on my face as Mr Singh blasts off (pun not intended) this delightful account of how the idealistic teacher tries to change the world, only to have his world come crashing back down almost immediately.
In the chronological existence of this solar system, a day is not even significant enough to be represented on a blip anywhere. In comparison, an amoeba would have occupied more space on a piece of high school graph paper than a day would in the immense horizon.
Incredibly, has mankind changed the world?
It would be entirely foolish and totally conceited to think that any one at all can change the world. Did Hitler change the world? Did Einstein change the world? Did Emperor Qin change the world? Did Edison change the world? Did Columbus change the world? Did Newton change the world? Did education change the world? Did energy change the world? Did mass tranportation means change the world?
So what changed the world? Could anything have changed the world had the world not allowed it? Do you think your tallest buildings, largest aircraft, longest sailing vessel, grandest man made structure actually changed the world? No. In fact, the world simply tolerates these little contemnible bits that dot its face.
Think about it, should the world decide that it's time to get rid of the pimple, an invisible hand squeezes the boil and out comes the pus when the skin breaks.
All of you that happen to be building your castles on that part of the boil simply get exterminated.
Human existence is an accident. It was a evil stroke of genius that created man. Why would the mish-mash of RNA and DNA make humans? Why not create something with four sex organs and one leg instead of the other way around? Why do humans have to stand upright? Can't humans not work? Can't we consume like there's no tomorrow and not worry about putting on weight? Why are we living for so long? Why do I have to work? Why do I need to create a god to explain things when I am sure that things are merely accidents and why do I take comfort that such a god exists? Like it or not, we are in a sad state of affairs. We are in denial. We believe whatever we do now can undo whatever we had done since the Industrial Revolution. We believe that consuming less now would help. Does it help? We work and work so that we achieve progress. But what is progress? And we achieve progress as opposed to what? Does progress translate to an equal platform on which the spoils are shared? Hardly. Many of us work so as to prop up the inordinately "blessed" (or blasted, if you prefer)few.
It does not take a genius to figure out that it is us, HUMANS, who fear for our lives (more than the existence of Earth). Few people would admit that if anything had changed, it was humans, not the world. Even fewer would agree that our fear of global warming and what have you stems from what I call the inability to let go. Our cupidity has overriden our good sense. We cling on to life and our earthly belongings. We are afraid that once Earth "crashes", we would be reduced to nothing. We do not think we could live like the Neanderthals, tatterdemalions who roamed the Earth in the ages past.
Think of all the nuclear testings that were done around the world. At the end of it, the world remained but humans turned into malformed creatures. Someone must be right about such things - if it ain't karma, then it must be Sharon Stone, the drama-mama.
When would we begin to see that our actions are actually killing us, instead of the world? Global warming is no issue. What issue is there? I have oft argued that Earth is a self-regulating CLOSED system that seeks its own equilibrium; Earth would know what to do to right itself. Global warming is an issue ONLY to human beings. Face it: who are the real supernumaries on Earth?
Think about it. Did the world turned into a cone or a pyramid when global warming took place? No! Did the world create more water, more wind, higher temperatures? No. Could Earth survive high water levels, no rainforests, no fish, no food, no whatever? Surely yes. Most of all, Earth can survive without humans. Can humans say the same without Earth?
It is just so naive to believe that the world would cease to exist when humans become extinct. This is so laughable. Preposterous.
So, why care about the world? Why the pretense? Think about your own actions before you judge others for not doing what you preach.
I am just so glad I'm not leaving any descendants behind. So you don't have to tell me that the world is a gift that I am holding in trust for my children. Everyone can go to hell, including me. Such an outcome is probably condign for all of us.
I see the doors wide open, the red carpet rolled out, the fire is red and toasty. So what the bloody hell are you waiting for?
Me? I'm not due there yet; I've not done enough evil for hell to accept me. See you later.
In the chronological existence of this solar system, a day is not even significant enough to be represented on a blip anywhere. In comparison, an amoeba would have occupied more space on a piece of high school graph paper than a day would in the immense horizon.
Incredibly, has mankind changed the world?
It would be entirely foolish and totally conceited to think that any one at all can change the world. Did Hitler change the world? Did Einstein change the world? Did Emperor Qin change the world? Did Edison change the world? Did Columbus change the world? Did Newton change the world? Did education change the world? Did energy change the world? Did mass tranportation means change the world?
So what changed the world? Could anything have changed the world had the world not allowed it? Do you think your tallest buildings, largest aircraft, longest sailing vessel, grandest man made structure actually changed the world? No. In fact, the world simply tolerates these little contemnible bits that dot its face.
Think about it, should the world decide that it's time to get rid of the pimple, an invisible hand squeezes the boil and out comes the pus when the skin breaks.
All of you that happen to be building your castles on that part of the boil simply get exterminated.
Human existence is an accident. It was a evil stroke of genius that created man. Why would the mish-mash of RNA and DNA make humans? Why not create something with four sex organs and one leg instead of the other way around? Why do humans have to stand upright? Can't humans not work? Can't we consume like there's no tomorrow and not worry about putting on weight? Why are we living for so long? Why do I have to work? Why do I need to create a god to explain things when I am sure that things are merely accidents and why do I take comfort that such a god exists? Like it or not, we are in a sad state of affairs. We are in denial. We believe whatever we do now can undo whatever we had done since the Industrial Revolution. We believe that consuming less now would help. Does it help? We work and work so that we achieve progress. But what is progress? And we achieve progress as opposed to what? Does progress translate to an equal platform on which the spoils are shared? Hardly. Many of us work so as to prop up the inordinately "blessed" (or blasted, if you prefer)few.
It does not take a genius to figure out that it is us, HUMANS, who fear for our lives (more than the existence of Earth). Few people would admit that if anything had changed, it was humans, not the world. Even fewer would agree that our fear of global warming and what have you stems from what I call the inability to let go. Our cupidity has overriden our good sense. We cling on to life and our earthly belongings. We are afraid that once Earth "crashes", we would be reduced to nothing. We do not think we could live like the Neanderthals, tatterdemalions who roamed the Earth in the ages past.
Think of all the nuclear testings that were done around the world. At the end of it, the world remained but humans turned into malformed creatures. Someone must be right about such things - if it ain't karma, then it must be Sharon Stone, the drama-mama.
When would we begin to see that our actions are actually killing us, instead of the world? Global warming is no issue. What issue is there? I have oft argued that Earth is a self-regulating CLOSED system that seeks its own equilibrium; Earth would know what to do to right itself. Global warming is an issue ONLY to human beings. Face it: who are the real supernumaries on Earth?
Think about it. Did the world turned into a cone or a pyramid when global warming took place? No! Did the world create more water, more wind, higher temperatures? No. Could Earth survive high water levels, no rainforests, no fish, no food, no whatever? Surely yes. Most of all, Earth can survive without humans. Can humans say the same without Earth?
It is just so naive to believe that the world would cease to exist when humans become extinct. This is so laughable. Preposterous.
So, why care about the world? Why the pretense? Think about your own actions before you judge others for not doing what you preach.
I am just so glad I'm not leaving any descendants behind. So you don't have to tell me that the world is a gift that I am holding in trust for my children. Everyone can go to hell, including me. Such an outcome is probably condign for all of us.
I see the doors wide open, the red carpet rolled out, the fire is red and toasty. So what the bloody hell are you waiting for?
Me? I'm not due there yet; I've not done enough evil for hell to accept me. See you later.
Reiterating the Ethos of this Blog
I've begun tagging my posts and working backwards. The tags serve to accurately pinpoint my state of mind when I wrote the entry. With this decision, reiterating what this blog stands for becomes important:
If you haven't a good thing to say, you're welcome to sit beside me.
I don't pretend to be the Dalai Lama or Mother Theresa although in one of those weird personality tests, I fall in the same quadrant as the two of them. In short, my cards are faced up on the table. I do not pretend to be pure as Snow White, innocent as Bambi, gullible as Pooh, brilliant as Einstein, irreproachable as a saint or what have you. And I don't want to act in anyway that I am not.
In fact, people who come here want to celebrate a mind more twisted than Katrina, humour darker than black holes, a being more mentally crippled than Hawkings physically is and what have you.
But one thing is certain - malice is not intended. The main objective is sometimes to highlight some interesting observations, make some comments on perceived injustices, stupidities, Darwin Award-ism, social imbalances, etc.
Over here, we may agree to disagree. Even disagree to disagree.
My readers and I come from vastly different backgrounds. Of course, our moral yardsticks differ. I don't even know if I have a moral yardstick. I mostly categorise people into a few groups - people I want to have a meal with, people I want to have tea with, people I want to visit, people I want to share my food with, people I want to serve poisoned food to, people whose food I would eat, people whose food I would not eat and whom I should cut out from my life... Well, I think I should review this sentence some time in the future. I probably have as many categories as I have people in my life. But by and large, I think my friends are great people. If they are not, refer to previous sentence.
Simply said, I am a person with a huge tolerance and immense latitude for differences. But don't cross, or worse double cross, me. I'll run over and amputate your toes. This is the minimum I guarantee. If I fail, I could do it again. No?
If you haven't a good thing to say, you're welcome to sit beside me.
I don't pretend to be the Dalai Lama or Mother Theresa although in one of those weird personality tests, I fall in the same quadrant as the two of them. In short, my cards are faced up on the table. I do not pretend to be pure as Snow White, innocent as Bambi, gullible as Pooh, brilliant as Einstein, irreproachable as a saint or what have you. And I don't want to act in anyway that I am not.
In fact, people who come here want to celebrate a mind more twisted than Katrina, humour darker than black holes, a being more mentally crippled than Hawkings physically is and what have you.
But one thing is certain - malice is not intended. The main objective is sometimes to highlight some interesting observations, make some comments on perceived injustices, stupidities, Darwin Award-ism, social imbalances, etc.
Over here, we may agree to disagree. Even disagree to disagree.
My readers and I come from vastly different backgrounds. Of course, our moral yardsticks differ. I don't even know if I have a moral yardstick. I mostly categorise people into a few groups - people I want to have a meal with, people I want to have tea with, people I want to visit, people I want to share my food with, people I want to serve poisoned food to, people whose food I would eat, people whose food I would not eat and whom I should cut out from my life... Well, I think I should review this sentence some time in the future. I probably have as many categories as I have people in my life. But by and large, I think my friends are great people. If they are not, refer to previous sentence.
Simply said, I am a person with a huge tolerance and immense latitude for differences. But don't cross, or worse double cross, me. I'll run over and amputate your toes. This is the minimum I guarantee. If I fail, I could do it again. No?
Monday, July 28, 2008
Everybody loves a winner
Fairness is an Utopian concept. Few things in life are truly fair. That's why only death considered an equaliser. In this world where people typically choose to associate themselves with fame, align themselves on the path of riches and hanker for Lady Luck to smile on them, it is no surprise that a winner is usually well-loved.
Who would have given two hoots about who came in second? How many Miss Universe first runner-ups can you name? How many world number 2's of the various sports can you name? Do you even know the student who got edged out for the valedictorian honours?
Sadly, we only remember the winners.
Is that necessarily bad? I don't know. But it is certainly unhealthy. Affirmation, even if one is not a winner, is what many people seek and yet it is hard to come by. Perhaps it is the Asian mentality where excellence and high levels of achievements are treated as norm. Maybe our reticent nature stops us from giving praise or acknowledging work well done. Or it might be true that when we praise someone or give the person high marks in an examination, we are cutting off an arm and presenting it as a gift. I don't know.
We have become a nation that is unable to praise or manage praises. Few of us can be winners but certainly, many of us look expectantly towards the affirmation that never comes around.
Who would have given two hoots about who came in second? How many Miss Universe first runner-ups can you name? How many world number 2's of the various sports can you name? Do you even know the student who got edged out for the valedictorian honours?
Sadly, we only remember the winners.
Is that necessarily bad? I don't know. But it is certainly unhealthy. Affirmation, even if one is not a winner, is what many people seek and yet it is hard to come by. Perhaps it is the Asian mentality where excellence and high levels of achievements are treated as norm. Maybe our reticent nature stops us from giving praise or acknowledging work well done. Or it might be true that when we praise someone or give the person high marks in an examination, we are cutting off an arm and presenting it as a gift. I don't know.
We have become a nation that is unable to praise or manage praises. Few of us can be winners but certainly, many of us look expectantly towards the affirmation that never comes around.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Tagging
I was not once but frequently asked to tag my posts because I have interesting jokes and stuff which I promise to share if I manage to find them somewhere on my blog.
So, I think I should start tagging my posts. I wonder if I should be brave or foolhardy enough to tag the previous 799 posts as well.
So, I think I should start tagging my posts. I wonder if I should be brave or foolhardy enough to tag the previous 799 posts as well.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
News headline peep
Saw on the Chinese tabloid today that 54% of Singapore workers are "riding on donkeys (while) looking for horses."
Sad eh?
Sad eh?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
A non-post
I've been too busy and too tired to write. Projects are piling up and the marking load is growing faster than my poor brain can cope.
But there are still some good stuff up there to share.
And I'm also in the midst of uploading some outdated travel pictures. What needs to be done needs to be done, I guess.
Till then.
But there are still some good stuff up there to share.
And I'm also in the midst of uploading some outdated travel pictures. What needs to be done needs to be done, I guess.
Till then.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The Tickle Me Elmo Story
This allegedly took place in a factory in the USA which manufactured the 'Tickle Me Elmo' toys, (a children's plush cuddly toy which laughs when tickled under the arm). The legend has is it that a new employee was hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she duly reported for her first day's induction training, prior to being allocated a job on the production line.
At 08:45 the next day the personnel manager received a visit from an excited assembly line foreman who was not best pleased about the performance of the new recruit. The foreman explained that she was far too slow, and that she was causing the entire line to back-up, delaying the whole production schedule. The personnel manager asked to see what was happening, so both men proceeded to the factory floor.
On arrival they saw that the line was indeed badly backed-up - there were hundreds of Tickle Me Elmos strewn all over the factory floor, and they were still piling up. Virtually buried in a mountain of toys sat the new employee earnestly focused on her work. She had a roll of red plush fabric and a bag of marbles. The two men watched amazed as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around a pair of marbles and carefully began sewing the little package between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager began to laugh, and it was some while before he could compose himself, at which he approached the trainee.
"I'm sorry," he said to her, not able to disguise his amusement, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday.... Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
At 08:45 the next day the personnel manager received a visit from an excited assembly line foreman who was not best pleased about the performance of the new recruit. The foreman explained that she was far too slow, and that she was causing the entire line to back-up, delaying the whole production schedule. The personnel manager asked to see what was happening, so both men proceeded to the factory floor.
On arrival they saw that the line was indeed badly backed-up - there were hundreds of Tickle Me Elmos strewn all over the factory floor, and they were still piling up. Virtually buried in a mountain of toys sat the new employee earnestly focused on her work. She had a roll of red plush fabric and a bag of marbles. The two men watched amazed as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around a pair of marbles and carefully began sewing the little package between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager began to laugh, and it was some while before he could compose himself, at which he approached the trainee.
"I'm sorry," he said to her, not able to disguise his amusement, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday.... Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Gone Crazy
I was about to go to bed and then this!
I've got to stop. Or I'll just be posting the whole YouTube here!
I've got to stop. Or I'll just be posting the whole YouTube here!
Do you remember the time?
I am so dead certain that I knew what I was going to blog about for each of the past few days.
Alas, when I am at the computer, I can't remember a single f*cking event.
Am I getting old? (This is a rhetorical question!)
Alas, when I am at the computer, I can't remember a single f*cking event.
Am I getting old? (This is a rhetorical question!)
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Kudos to Tony Snow (1955 - 2008)
Tony Snow was George W Bush's Press Secretary. In layman's terms, he was the spin doctor, the President's mouth piece and the country's chief propagandist.
Snow died of cancer recently. In the Washington Post obituary, he was given a glowing write-up on his life. I produce an extract below:
In his brief tenure as Bush's public advocate, Snow became perhaps the best-known face of the administration after the president, vice president and secretary of state. Parlaying skills honed during years at Fox News, he offered a daily televised defense of the embattled president that was robust and at times even combative while repairing strained relations with a press corps frustrated by years of rote talking points.
He was lively and entertaining, he could be disarmingly candid when ducking a question, and he did not hesitate to retreat when it became clear he had gone too far. He could tell reporters to "zip it" one minute and defuse tension the next by admitting that he knew so little about a topic that he was "not going to fake it." He enjoyed the give-and-take of a tough briefing, but his smile, upbeat energy and glib repartee seemed to take the edge off sometimes rough rhetoric on behalf of an unpopular leader and unpopular policies.
Perhaps we tend to be kinder to people in their deaths but to say this of a person whose daily job is to give out less than palatable news speaks volumes of him as a person.
I've never got to see him in action much, but I'm sure he must have been a great entertainer and press sec.
RIP, Tony.
Snow died of cancer recently. In the Washington Post obituary, he was given a glowing write-up on his life. I produce an extract below:
In his brief tenure as Bush's public advocate, Snow became perhaps the best-known face of the administration after the president, vice president and secretary of state. Parlaying skills honed during years at Fox News, he offered a daily televised defense of the embattled president that was robust and at times even combative while repairing strained relations with a press corps frustrated by years of rote talking points.
He was lively and entertaining, he could be disarmingly candid when ducking a question, and he did not hesitate to retreat when it became clear he had gone too far. He could tell reporters to "zip it" one minute and defuse tension the next by admitting that he knew so little about a topic that he was "not going to fake it." He enjoyed the give-and-take of a tough briefing, but his smile, upbeat energy and glib repartee seemed to take the edge off sometimes rough rhetoric on behalf of an unpopular leader and unpopular policies.
Perhaps we tend to be kinder to people in their deaths but to say this of a person whose daily job is to give out less than palatable news speaks volumes of him as a person.
I've never got to see him in action much, but I'm sure he must have been a great entertainer and press sec.
RIP, Tony.
A case against PC-ness
Political correctness has its time and place. But like everything, there could be too much of it.
T F Stern tells why.
In addition, I will also raise the point that writing something like "Man discovered fire" was considered sexist.
I just hope those bra burning ones choke on the fumes as they fight tooth and nail when silly sexist issues come up.
What has the world come to?
T F Stern tells why.
In addition, I will also raise the point that writing something like "Man discovered fire" was considered sexist.
I just hope those bra burning ones choke on the fumes as they fight tooth and nail when silly sexist issues come up.
What has the world come to?
IndyMac, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac
Watching with bated breath how the mortgage lenders are dealing with the subprime woes which are hogging the prime slots in the news.
I wonder if I should be indignant that the world's economy is beseiged by this lending fiasco or I should be celebrating. After all, the recent boom is a little too much to bear and things are getting so so so damned expensive because people, with more disposable income during the boom, are consuming like there is no tomorrow.
20 years ago, I already knew we will be looking at an oil crisis around the 2010s. Not difficult to imagine - thanks Samsung! - because 20 years ago, we were already taught that oil is going to run out in 50 years. And people only started mining oil like when?!
At the rate we are consuming oil and the world's resources, it does not take a rocket scientist to realise that the reserves are not going to last beyond my generation.
So, those around my age who have decided not have kids, I think you've done the world a great service. For those who have decided to have kids, I think you've done the world a great service too. Like yin and yang, there must be a balance.
(Every time this yin and yang thing comes up, I feel compelled to tell this joke. I think the Singaporeans and those following Singapore politics would appreciate it: In life, there needs to be a balance between yin and yang. Like we have the Goddess of Mercy (Guan Yin), we also have (Lee) Kuan Yew. No get it? Never mind.)
For the longest time, we use an auxillary power battery to power the gadgets in our cars. But for the longest time, we know that oil and non-renewable energy reserves are running out. So, why aren't our cars carrying solar energy panels on the tops and sides so that solar energy can be harnessed to power the lights, the radio, the whatever and possibly run the car too?
That's just an example.
People complain that developing technology is expensive. But compared to the amount of money that you're paying the oil companies, who are in turn paying the oil barons, wouldn't those money be well spent?
People are afraid to break out of their comfort zones and innovate because of many reasons. One over-riding factor for that is financially driven. One does not have to go to far to see how Big Pharma is touting their branded patents as opposed to acknowledging that generics work as well (or even trying to hamper other competitors developing generics) to admit that a market economy is really only for the rich.
But now, many of the rich are also getting poorer. But most of them are still rich beyond compare.
Beijing Olympics are around the corner. The Chinese have shown themselves to be a resilient people in the face of the disasters they had and are still facing. They should also realise that even if it were not for bad karma over Tibet - thanks Sharon. Luckily you didn't say it of the oil rich nations or they'd have stoned you already - they had been disaster magnets. The rain in Spain, at least this year, stayed mainly on the yellow plains (China).
There was this recent news article about how parts of China are already in the doldrums, with many people out of job. This is the Olympic curse. In the years leading up to the games, the frantic pace of building new infrastructure - mostly white elephants *after* the games - spurs the city's economy to boom. The projects' completion means the demise of the construction sector. During the games, thousands are hired as PR folks. After the games, the people are happy to keep a half-filled tummy.
So, we should add to the list of IM, FM and FM. If China the lumbering giant takes a misstep in its path of economic growth, I am sure we will all be dragged under this time. And perhaps all for a good cause.
Without consolidation, without destruction, without catastrophes, how can there be new growth? And how do you think oil had come about in the first place?
I wonder if I should be indignant that the world's economy is beseiged by this lending fiasco or I should be celebrating. After all, the recent boom is a little too much to bear and things are getting so so so damned expensive because people, with more disposable income during the boom, are consuming like there is no tomorrow.
20 years ago, I already knew we will be looking at an oil crisis around the 2010s. Not difficult to imagine - thanks Samsung! - because 20 years ago, we were already taught that oil is going to run out in 50 years. And people only started mining oil like when?!
At the rate we are consuming oil and the world's resources, it does not take a rocket scientist to realise that the reserves are not going to last beyond my generation.
So, those around my age who have decided not have kids, I think you've done the world a great service. For those who have decided to have kids, I think you've done the world a great service too. Like yin and yang, there must be a balance.
(Every time this yin and yang thing comes up, I feel compelled to tell this joke. I think the Singaporeans and those following Singapore politics would appreciate it: In life, there needs to be a balance between yin and yang. Like we have the Goddess of Mercy (Guan Yin), we also have (Lee) Kuan Yew. No get it? Never mind.)
For the longest time, we use an auxillary power battery to power the gadgets in our cars. But for the longest time, we know that oil and non-renewable energy reserves are running out. So, why aren't our cars carrying solar energy panels on the tops and sides so that solar energy can be harnessed to power the lights, the radio, the whatever and possibly run the car too?
That's just an example.
People complain that developing technology is expensive. But compared to the amount of money that you're paying the oil companies, who are in turn paying the oil barons, wouldn't those money be well spent?
People are afraid to break out of their comfort zones and innovate because of many reasons. One over-riding factor for that is financially driven. One does not have to go to far to see how Big Pharma is touting their branded patents as opposed to acknowledging that generics work as well (or even trying to hamper other competitors developing generics) to admit that a market economy is really only for the rich.
But now, many of the rich are also getting poorer. But most of them are still rich beyond compare.
Beijing Olympics are around the corner. The Chinese have shown themselves to be a resilient people in the face of the disasters they had and are still facing. They should also realise that even if it were not for bad karma over Tibet - thanks Sharon. Luckily you didn't say it of the oil rich nations or they'd have stoned you already - they had been disaster magnets. The rain in Spain, at least this year, stayed mainly on the yellow plains (China).
There was this recent news article about how parts of China are already in the doldrums, with many people out of job. This is the Olympic curse. In the years leading up to the games, the frantic pace of building new infrastructure - mostly white elephants *after* the games - spurs the city's economy to boom. The projects' completion means the demise of the construction sector. During the games, thousands are hired as PR folks. After the games, the people are happy to keep a half-filled tummy.
So, we should add to the list of IM, FM and FM. If China the lumbering giant takes a misstep in its path of economic growth, I am sure we will all be dragged under this time. And perhaps all for a good cause.
Without consolidation, without destruction, without catastrophes, how can there be new growth? And how do you think oil had come about in the first place?
Friday, July 11, 2008
You can die laughing...
Fatal hilarity refers to death resulting from the physiological effects of laughter. Use of the phrase was first recorded in 1596.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
A group of crows
What do you call a group of crows? I remembered reading about this some months back but when I faced this question last Sunday, I was suddenly stumped.
Ok, to help all of us along, choose the correct answer from below.
What do you call a group of crows?
(A) kidnap
(B) gang
(C) party
(D) murder
(E) bandit
Ok, to help all of us along, choose the correct answer from below.
What do you call a group of crows?
(A) kidnap
(B) gang
(C) party
(D) murder
(E) bandit
Like dull blows from a sledgehammer...
Anyone can put the 26 letters of the English alphabet to form words. But not all words exist.
Anyone can put the above words to form sentences. But not all sentences make sense.
Anyone can put those above sentences to form an essay. But not all essays make sense either.
Interesting how some people can fly under the English radar for so long and now land on the chopping board where I am performing butcher duties. I have no idea whether I am chopping their insensible answers out because reading these essays are like receiving an endless bevy of dull blows from a sledgehammer to my head.
Sooner or later, I'm going bonkers.
Anyone can put the above words to form sentences. But not all sentences make sense.
Anyone can put those above sentences to form an essay. But not all essays make sense either.
Interesting how some people can fly under the English radar for so long and now land on the chopping board where I am performing butcher duties. I have no idea whether I am chopping their insensible answers out because reading these essays are like receiving an endless bevy of dull blows from a sledgehammer to my head.
Sooner or later, I'm going bonkers.
Didn't you teach them to read and write?
I have this uncontrollable urge to want to scream at my ex-colleagues - teachers, English Language teachers in particular - and ask if they had done their jobs properly.
From what I can see from those stacks of scripts waiting to be graded, I don't think so. Incidental learning is as the name suggests. How it is really carried out depends on whether an incident has happened. Since you don't see teachers submitting incident reports, other than the disciplinary types in which only wh-words and past tense are taught, students learn next to nothing.
So, they come to university and viola! Many know nothing about accurate reading, proper writing and correct grammar.
And yet they think they are excellent communicators.
From what I can see from those stacks of scripts waiting to be graded, I don't think so. Incidental learning is as the name suggests. How it is really carried out depends on whether an incident has happened. Since you don't see teachers submitting incident reports, other than the disciplinary types in which only wh-words and past tense are taught, students learn next to nothing.
So, they come to university and viola! Many know nothing about accurate reading, proper writing and correct grammar.
And yet they think they are excellent communicators.
Ten Hours
That's how much sleep I had yesterday. I feel so much more awake this morning.
I can almost bet you the other fallacy is the decrease in libido as one ages. Explain the need for viagra and the term "dirty old man" if otherwise!
I can almost bet you the other fallacy is the decrease in libido as one ages. Explain the need for viagra and the term "dirty old man" if otherwise!
Monday, July 07, 2008
Age and Sleep
I always under the impression that as one gets older, one needs less sleep. That had been my understanding since 20 years ago.
But it is not happening to me!
I am older now. And I've never stopped needing at least 10 hours of sleep to be fully awake and functional.
The sleep loanshark has probably run out of pigs' head to hang at my door to intimidate me into paying. I bet you I'm just going to go into hibernation mode if this sleep deprivation is not going to get addressed.
Unfortunately, Bangkok is so dangerous now and KL too. Sigh.
But it is not happening to me!
I am older now. And I've never stopped needing at least 10 hours of sleep to be fully awake and functional.
The sleep loanshark has probably run out of pigs' head to hang at my door to intimidate me into paying. I bet you I'm just going to go into hibernation mode if this sleep deprivation is not going to get addressed.
Unfortunately, Bangkok is so dangerous now and KL too. Sigh.
Friday, July 04, 2008
The steely look of determination
Conducted two tests yesterday and was amazed to see the steely looks of determination on the test takers' faces. Can't help feeling sorry for them. For it is not what they know that disappoints them.
Their disappointment stems from their not knowing and thus, not performing up to the required standards. But YET think they have it, they have done excellently and they have been discriminated against.
At some point in everyone's life, each has to learn that for things subjective, it is perception that matters. And most of the time, "our perception" is just a poor representation of what we really think (which, for the record, are vastly different in most cases). For all other things objective, skills and mastery matter. And subjectivity and objectivity are largely disjoint concepts.
Well, we all trudge along and lose our jarring bits... Life!
Their disappointment stems from their not knowing and thus, not performing up to the required standards. But YET think they have it, they have done excellently and they have been discriminated against.
At some point in everyone's life, each has to learn that for things subjective, it is perception that matters. And most of the time, "our perception" is just a poor representation of what we really think (which, for the record, are vastly different in most cases). For all other things objective, skills and mastery matter. And subjectivity and objectivity are largely disjoint concepts.
Well, we all trudge along and lose our jarring bits... Life!
Let those who drive and talk on their cellphones DIE
Hands-free cellphone use while driving won't make the roads safer, studies show. Why? Brain overload.
Scientists say that when mixing cellphones and driving, the number of hands available for the tasks is not the limiting factor.
Instead, it's a driver's attention and processing capacity. These are often stretched beyond safe limits when someone juggles the complex tasks of negotiating traffic and conversing with another remotely.
Worse than being drunk
"There are limits to how much we can multi-task, and that combination of cellphone and driving exceeds the limits," says David Strayer, a University of Utah psychologist who has found that by many measures, drivers yakking on cellphones are more dangerous behind the wheel than those who are drunk, whether the conversation is carried on by handset or headset. More...
There you go! The people who allowed talk-driving ought to be shot. With TF's phallic gun, no less. Screw them all, senseless bunch of idiots!
Scientists say that when mixing cellphones and driving, the number of hands available for the tasks is not the limiting factor.
Instead, it's a driver's attention and processing capacity. These are often stretched beyond safe limits when someone juggles the complex tasks of negotiating traffic and conversing with another remotely.
Worse than being drunk
"There are limits to how much we can multi-task, and that combination of cellphone and driving exceeds the limits," says David Strayer, a University of Utah psychologist who has found that by many measures, drivers yakking on cellphones are more dangerous behind the wheel than those who are drunk, whether the conversation is carried on by handset or headset. More...
There you go! The people who allowed talk-driving ought to be shot. With TF's phallic gun, no less. Screw them all, senseless bunch of idiots!
Monday, June 30, 2008
A Sobering Thought
On Thinking About Atonement With a Parent
By: Jan Goldman
Acknowledgement: On Thinking About Atonement With a Parent was written when I was in a poetry writing course. There was an assignment to write a poem on the subject of atonement in relation to a parent. My first reaction was that I had nothing to say. I had been the “good child” who was responsible and brought home the bacon. This poem than came out of that “nothing to say.” It surprised me with its depth of feeling.
How does the good child atone
the one with no regret
whose small shoulders ached
with the weight of responsibility placed
early, early, early.
The one who put before you
a banquet table of accomplishment
for your feasting, for your portion.
The one who stilled her own heart's music
and filled her nostrils with
the acrid smell of caution
for your name's sake.
No, I owe you no atonement.
Better to atone for myself
for the lost path in the wilderness
for the wanderlust not indulged
for the lovers never taken.
Now in the late October of my years
with the harvest mostly gathered,
it's your turn.
It's your turn to atone for me.
Source: Families, Systems, & Health. Vol.25 (3) pp. 354-354.
I think this is one of the most amazing poems ever written. How does a good child atone? Hasn't he already done his penance by being the good child?
For all you good boys and good girls out there.
By: Jan Goldman
Acknowledgement: On Thinking About Atonement With a Parent was written when I was in a poetry writing course. There was an assignment to write a poem on the subject of atonement in relation to a parent. My first reaction was that I had nothing to say. I had been the “good child” who was responsible and brought home the bacon. This poem than came out of that “nothing to say.” It surprised me with its depth of feeling.
How does the good child atone
the one with no regret
whose small shoulders ached
with the weight of responsibility placed
early, early, early.
The one who put before you
a banquet table of accomplishment
for your feasting, for your portion.
The one who stilled her own heart's music
and filled her nostrils with
the acrid smell of caution
for your name's sake.
No, I owe you no atonement.
Better to atone for myself
for the lost path in the wilderness
for the wanderlust not indulged
for the lovers never taken.
Now in the late October of my years
with the harvest mostly gathered,
it's your turn.
It's your turn to atone for me.
Source: Families, Systems, & Health. Vol.25 (3) pp. 354-354.
I think this is one of the most amazing poems ever written. How does a good child atone? Hasn't he already done his penance by being the good child?
For all you good boys and good girls out there.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Do you think it gives me an orgasm?
Went back for a second acupuncture treatment for the bust back yesterday. The second time in two days.
And after the acupuncturist nagged at me that I am visiting too frequently, when I went to collect my meds, the pharmacist gave me another earful about not coming twice in two days for meds and acupuncture, should at most visit twice or thrice a week for such treatment yah dah yah dah yah dah.
Hello! First, the physician on the first visit gave me flu meds, which if you do not know, will not address the bust back. Anyway, the meds you had dispensed are 2/3 done, since I went last night. You know - 3 days' med contains 9 doses. By last night, I'm 5 doses done. Ok, I'm 6 doses done. I took a double for my first dose, as I usually do for Chinese meds. And the remaining meds are going to run out today - don't worry, I won't waste any medicine - so, what's your problem?
It's not as though I am such a pain seeker that getting jabbed, electro-stimulated through needles and a harsh post acupuncture massage is going to give me an orgasm!
* * *
The Age, 27 June 2008
Craig Platt
European budget carrier Ryanair has taken its cheeky reputation to new levels, with chief executive officer Michael O'Leary suggesting business class passengers would receive free oral sex on flights.
O'Leary made the saucy remarks during a press conference in Germany about Ryanair's Trans-Atlantic flights.
Explaining that Ryanair's long-haul flights would feature a business class that went against Ryanair's typical low-budget ethos, O'Leary remarked that "in economy it will be very cheap fares, say 10 Euros, and in business class it will be bed and blowjobs".
While O'Leary's remark was obviously a joke, he repeated the controversial comment and wanted it translated for the journalists.
"In business class," he said, "it will all be free - including the blowjobs."
He then asked the translator the German word for oral sex. After being told there wasn't one, he remarked "terrible sex life in Germany".
I recall the European airlines I've flown before. I'm going to claim that I suffer from a serious bout of amnesia here about my experience but I am going to conclude that I don't think I will be excited at all to fly on Ryanair's business class, much less get me an orgasm.
* * *
More things that won't hit the mark:
- Oil hits US$140 as Libya warns of production cuts.
- E. Coli in tomatoes, beef; salmonella in other things, except money in my pocket.
- Singapore raises pump prices the third time in a month despite respite in oil prices.
- Rates for electricity going up.
There, go figure.
"Some days the balls don't bounce where you want them to bounce or they don't land where you want them to land." - Maria Sharapova, after being beaten 6-2, 6-4 in the second round of Wimbledon by the 20-year-old Alla Kudryavtseva, who is ranked 152 places beneath her and has previously won only four matches this year.
And after the acupuncturist nagged at me that I am visiting too frequently, when I went to collect my meds, the pharmacist gave me another earful about not coming twice in two days for meds and acupuncture, should at most visit twice or thrice a week for such treatment yah dah yah dah yah dah.
Hello! First, the physician on the first visit gave me flu meds, which if you do not know, will not address the bust back. Anyway, the meds you had dispensed are 2/3 done, since I went last night. You know - 3 days' med contains 9 doses. By last night, I'm 5 doses done. Ok, I'm 6 doses done. I took a double for my first dose, as I usually do for Chinese meds. And the remaining meds are going to run out today - don't worry, I won't waste any medicine - so, what's your problem?
It's not as though I am such a pain seeker that getting jabbed, electro-stimulated through needles and a harsh post acupuncture massage is going to give me an orgasm!
* * *
The Age, 27 June 2008
Craig Platt
European budget carrier Ryanair has taken its cheeky reputation to new levels, with chief executive officer Michael O'Leary suggesting business class passengers would receive free oral sex on flights.
O'Leary made the saucy remarks during a press conference in Germany about Ryanair's Trans-Atlantic flights.
Explaining that Ryanair's long-haul flights would feature a business class that went against Ryanair's typical low-budget ethos, O'Leary remarked that "in economy it will be very cheap fares, say 10 Euros, and in business class it will be bed and blowjobs".
While O'Leary's remark was obviously a joke, he repeated the controversial comment and wanted it translated for the journalists.
"In business class," he said, "it will all be free - including the blowjobs."
He then asked the translator the German word for oral sex. After being told there wasn't one, he remarked "terrible sex life in Germany".
I recall the European airlines I've flown before. I'm going to claim that I suffer from a serious bout of amnesia here about my experience but I am going to conclude that I don't think I will be excited at all to fly on Ryanair's business class, much less get me an orgasm.
* * *
More things that won't hit the mark:
- Oil hits US$140 as Libya warns of production cuts.
- E. Coli in tomatoes, beef; salmonella in other things, except money in my pocket.
- Singapore raises pump prices the third time in a month despite respite in oil prices.
- Rates for electricity going up.
There, go figure.
"Some days the balls don't bounce where you want them to bounce or they don't land where you want them to land." - Maria Sharapova, after being beaten 6-2, 6-4 in the second round of Wimbledon by the 20-year-old Alla Kudryavtseva, who is ranked 152 places beneath her and has previously won only four matches this year.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Actual call centre conversations
Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'G reat. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light the n.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power.......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'G reat. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light the n.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power.......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
Case in point
The New Paper Headline today:
SINGAPORE MOTORIST DIES IN CRASH
He beats red light while fleeing from police.
Sister says: He has no licence but he loves to speed
He rides like he wants to die
And I think he's only 17.
I suddenly feel a teeny weeny bit smarter already!
SINGAPORE MOTORIST DIES IN CRASH
He beats red light while fleeing from police.
Sister says: He has no licence but he loves to speed
He rides like he wants to die
And I think he's only 17.
I suddenly feel a teeny weeny bit smarter already!
One after another
It started with the larynx inflamation and then I sprained my back when I cleared the kitchen to welcome the new fridge and washer.
Now I am limping cos my back is killing me.
And last year at this time, I was battling a terrible bout of tonsilitis while preparing for the Montreal Convention submissions.
One year apart but both times, I am coughing my lungs out, trying to clear up my passages and attempting to expel "macha mochi".
I need something that works. Fast!
Now I am limping cos my back is killing me.
And last year at this time, I was battling a terrible bout of tonsilitis while preparing for the Montreal Convention submissions.
One year apart but both times, I am coughing my lungs out, trying to clear up my passages and attempting to expel "macha mochi".
I need something that works. Fast!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Open Letter to Singaporean Drivers
Dear Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms/Madam Driver,
I know your car is cheap. By your standards, the damned thing must be cheap.
I know your life is cheap. By the insurance companies' estimate, you probably don't have much life insurance.
I know your car insurance is cheap. Since your car is cheap, then the insurance, which costs a minute fraction of the car price must be like a microscopic speck of dust in your eyes.
I know your licence is cheap. You probably got it while you were overseas and then converted to the Singapore licence, which is notoriously difficult to achieve.
I know petrol is cheap. Despite the hikes and all, your car is bigger than your brains and your car's petrol consumption is faster than a battalion of thirsty soldiers at a water parade, you simply think nothing of it.
I know your brake pads are cheap. That's why you can afford to speed up and brake suddenly so often.
I know you think your judgement is impeccable. That's why you tailgate the cars like an bootlicking ass sniffer who has literally shoved his/her/its nose into the ass he/she/it is sniffing and actually *believe* you can brake in time in case of sudden slowdowns.
I know you think your driving skills are over the top. That's why you weave in and out of traffic with no care for the lesser drivers on the road.
My biggest hope for you is to be involved in some major road accident that leaves you maimed, hopefully hand-and-leg amputee, your brain damaged enough for you to lose your ability to speak but not your ability to feel pain, frustration and most importantly, your pelvis smashed so you need a colon-bag sticking out by your side - you have a hand to change your own! - and may you outlive your caregivers! And what else can I wish upon you that you did not try to inflict upon us through your senseless driving.
I know you have already bought your one-way ticket to hell, but the saner of us have not bought ours. We probably don't know that such a ticket exists, except for the brief realisation that on your attempt to take trip there, you would have had the ability to bring us along for free. (Did you pay with your Mastercard?)
I wish you all success in your death seeking pursuits,
A law-abiding driver
I know your car is cheap. By your standards, the damned thing must be cheap.
I know your life is cheap. By the insurance companies' estimate, you probably don't have much life insurance.
I know your car insurance is cheap. Since your car is cheap, then the insurance, which costs a minute fraction of the car price must be like a microscopic speck of dust in your eyes.
I know your licence is cheap. You probably got it while you were overseas and then converted to the Singapore licence, which is notoriously difficult to achieve.
I know petrol is cheap. Despite the hikes and all, your car is bigger than your brains and your car's petrol consumption is faster than a battalion of thirsty soldiers at a water parade, you simply think nothing of it.
I know your brake pads are cheap. That's why you can afford to speed up and brake suddenly so often.
I know you think your judgement is impeccable. That's why you tailgate the cars like an bootlicking ass sniffer who has literally shoved his/her/its nose into the ass he/she/it is sniffing and actually *believe* you can brake in time in case of sudden slowdowns.
I know you think your driving skills are over the top. That's why you weave in and out of traffic with no care for the lesser drivers on the road.
My biggest hope for you is to be involved in some major road accident that leaves you maimed, hopefully hand-and-leg amputee, your brain damaged enough for you to lose your ability to speak but not your ability to feel pain, frustration and most importantly, your pelvis smashed so you need a colon-bag sticking out by your side - you have a hand to change your own! - and may you outlive your caregivers! And what else can I wish upon you that you did not try to inflict upon us through your senseless driving.
I know you have already bought your one-way ticket to hell, but the saner of us have not bought ours. We probably don't know that such a ticket exists, except for the brief realisation that on your attempt to take trip there, you would have had the ability to bring us along for free. (Did you pay with your Mastercard?)
I wish you all success in your death seeking pursuits,
A law-abiding driver
Crazy crazy roads
Yesterday, there were three road incidents that I saw on the Pan Island Expressway. Incredible.
In the first incident, a pick-up careened suddenly three lanes (from middle right all the way to the extreme left lane), and then past the road shoulder hit against the roadside fences along the shoulder lane and richocheted off. The pick-up then came to a stop in the road shoulder. Amazingly, no other car was involved despite there being cars before and following the pick-up all the way. Incredibly, no one had to brake or take evasive actions! Go figure. Right after I passed the pick-up, not more than 100 m later, there was a loud bang.
(A change in plans led me right back to the opposite side of the expressway). There, I saw the source of the loud bang. A lorry's back tyre has exploded. Go figure. It rests in the traffic island right after the exit to the expressway.
And late in the evening, after my shopping and dinner, on the way home, we saw a 12 car pile-up although the newspapers said that there were two separate incidents involving 10 cars in all. I counted and there were 12!
So exciting. Except there were no deaths. We could increase our IQ by a lot if these folks voluntarily removed themselves from the gene pool!
In the first incident, a pick-up careened suddenly three lanes (from middle right all the way to the extreme left lane), and then past the road shoulder hit against the roadside fences along the shoulder lane and richocheted off. The pick-up then came to a stop in the road shoulder. Amazingly, no other car was involved despite there being cars before and following the pick-up all the way. Incredibly, no one had to brake or take evasive actions! Go figure. Right after I passed the pick-up, not more than 100 m later, there was a loud bang.
(A change in plans led me right back to the opposite side of the expressway). There, I saw the source of the loud bang. A lorry's back tyre has exploded. Go figure. It rests in the traffic island right after the exit to the expressway.
And late in the evening, after my shopping and dinner, on the way home, we saw a 12 car pile-up although the newspapers said that there were two separate incidents involving 10 cars in all. I counted and there were 12!
So exciting. Except there were no deaths. We could increase our IQ by a lot if these folks voluntarily removed themselves from the gene pool!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Treasure Trove of Useless Tests
I thought I want to share with you my latest discovery - a treasure trove of useless tests. Then I decided against it. Believe you me that you are better off without them. After all, as these tests are written for the Oprah audiences; regardless of your responses, therapy would be recommended to address your "inadequacies".
I think I have just found a way to get rich!
I think I have just found a way to get rich!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tarragon-e
Sigh! When I went on my Taiwan trip, I asked my neighbour to help water my herbs.
When I came back, I saw my tarragon in a worse than terrible shape. It looks like it was wilting. The leaves were dark though the tips were still fresh.
It was late in the night and I didn't take a close look until the next day when I realise the entire plant was enveloped in some web. Darn! It must have been attacked by pests.
Sadly, I threw the entire plant away. I don't think I could save it given how advanced the scourge was and I was so not going to use pesticide on the plant since I intend to use the herbs. I wrapped the plant in a plastic bag together with the pot it was planted in and sent it down the rubbish chute.
Felt sad but what to do? That's part and parcel of gardening. And if these pests spread...
Now my basil are drying up. I wonder why... Is it because the weather had been too hot or if my pots had been too small or the soil levels are too low or... what?
I think one important lesson learnt is to go for the large mature plants straightaway from the nurseries. I am so not a good father to the plants since they need more attention than my work would allow me to give them. I can manage the two waterings a day but I certainly can't talk to them, prune them (except when I rob them for their leaves for my food) or sayang them.
I'm getting replacements for sure.
When I came back, I saw my tarragon in a worse than terrible shape. It looks like it was wilting. The leaves were dark though the tips were still fresh.
It was late in the night and I didn't take a close look until the next day when I realise the entire plant was enveloped in some web. Darn! It must have been attacked by pests.
Sadly, I threw the entire plant away. I don't think I could save it given how advanced the scourge was and I was so not going to use pesticide on the plant since I intend to use the herbs. I wrapped the plant in a plastic bag together with the pot it was planted in and sent it down the rubbish chute.
Felt sad but what to do? That's part and parcel of gardening. And if these pests spread...
Now my basil are drying up. I wonder why... Is it because the weather had been too hot or if my pots had been too small or the soil levels are too low or... what?
I think one important lesson learnt is to go for the large mature plants straightaway from the nurseries. I am so not a good father to the plants since they need more attention than my work would allow me to give them. I can manage the two waterings a day but I certainly can't talk to them, prune them (except when I rob them for their leaves for my food) or sayang them.
I'm getting replacements for sure.
Monday, June 16, 2008
A little respite from the heat
Took a trip up Yangming Mountain to escape the heat in Taipei. Still, the endless climbing and walking kept me dripping with sweat throughout the entire trip. Despite the 18 deg C cool air, that is.
It was good to revisit the mountain. It was my third visit up its slopes, just as it was my third visit to the island. During my past two trips, the wintry air greeted me. The fragrance of the camilias filled the air as I walked on the mountainous path.
This time, there was little fragrance. The camilias were no longer in bloom. The hillside was devoid of famous flowers. Of course, there were common flowers in bloom, showing off their resilience in the summer heat. And taking the opportunity of the respite offered by their better known counterparts, showed the world their glorious blooms.
The many bouts of passing showers turned the mountain into a drippy water fall; everything was dripping with rain but nothing was in torrents. It was like crossing a stream underneath a water fall who's source is too small to provide enough water to spread the full length of the curtain.
The climb was indeed arduous, the additional kilos showed. Still, I went to the newer parts of the mountain, parts which I had never visited before. And I was duly rewarded with its glorious sights.
It was good to revisit the mountain. It was my third visit up its slopes, just as it was my third visit to the island. During my past two trips, the wintry air greeted me. The fragrance of the camilias filled the air as I walked on the mountainous path.
This time, there was little fragrance. The camilias were no longer in bloom. The hillside was devoid of famous flowers. Of course, there were common flowers in bloom, showing off their resilience in the summer heat. And taking the opportunity of the respite offered by their better known counterparts, showed the world their glorious blooms.
The many bouts of passing showers turned the mountain into a drippy water fall; everything was dripping with rain but nothing was in torrents. It was like crossing a stream underneath a water fall who's source is too small to provide enough water to spread the full length of the curtain.
The climb was indeed arduous, the additional kilos showed. Still, I went to the newer parts of the mountain, parts which I had never visited before. And I was duly rewarded with its glorious sights.
Everyone has an opinion
On politics that is.
The Taiwanese are about the most politically sensitive people on earth and it is no wonder. There is a vocal group who fights for independence and there is a more moderate group who is happy with status quo. The independent, nationalistic sentiments for the former is very strong while the latter group is more concerned about materialistic enjoyment and staying rich.
There is no correct or wrong in this little island province. Everyone just speaks of the need for an identity, each manifestation different from the other.
The Taiwanese are about the most politically sensitive people on earth and it is no wonder. There is a vocal group who fights for independence and there is a more moderate group who is happy with status quo. The independent, nationalistic sentiments for the former is very strong while the latter group is more concerned about materialistic enjoyment and staying rich.
There is no correct or wrong in this little island province. Everyone just speaks of the need for an identity, each manifestation different from the other.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
I'm back
After a good 9 days in Taiwan trodding through Taipei, Hualien and Taitung, I am back.
It had been a most wonderful time and I'll be blogging more about it in the coming days.
It had been a most wonderful time and I'll be blogging more about it in the coming days.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Tantalizing Taiwan
I'll be in Taiwan from 6 to 14 Jun. Depending on what I manage to find there, I may or may not be able to update this blog.
The Glammer Police Strike
Ok, I know. It should be the Grammar Police strikes, but I'm so conscious of the constant raids on bad grammar that I begin to feel embarrassed.
I believe this feeling would get worse when I start teaching college writing classes.
But someone has to be the baddie. Well, if not me, then who? I am after all the one guarding the gates to Grammar Heaven.
"He is one of the actors who is/are well-paid".
If you get it correct, welcome to grammar heaven where you will spend all your time teaching others in grammar hell who can't get it. If you can't get it, welcome to grammar hell. And for what Chomsky is worth, some people do not have any semblance of grammar entrenched in their subconsciousness. I bet Chimpsky would probably beat them hands-down on the correct grammar usage.
I believe this feeling would get worse when I start teaching college writing classes.
But someone has to be the baddie. Well, if not me, then who? I am after all the one guarding the gates to Grammar Heaven.
"He is one of the actors who is/are well-paid".
If you get it correct, welcome to grammar heaven where you will spend all your time teaching others in grammar hell who can't get it. If you can't get it, welcome to grammar hell. And for what Chomsky is worth, some people do not have any semblance of grammar entrenched in their subconsciousness. I bet Chimpsky would probably beat them hands-down on the correct grammar usage.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Now go and do some housework!
It's Quinsy's fault. I took the Love Language test and I am effectively bilingual. My someone needs to be the one to perform all the acts of service so that I get to spend my quality time.
Score Love Language
4 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
0 Receiving of Gifts
10 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch
How to interpret your Profile Score:
Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary love language. If two scores are identical, you are bilingual (you have two primary love languages). If the scores of your primary and your secondary language are close (for example, 10 & 9 respectfully), it indicates both are important to you. Whatever a significant other does to express love in either of these languages will get emotional points with you.
The highest possible score for any language is 12.
Having a clear picture of your primary & secondary love languages will explain much of your past behavior Think back over the past and ask yourself "What have I most often requested from significant others?" Chances are your answer will lie within the scope of your primary & secondary love languages. You have been requesting that which would meet your deepest need for emotional love.
Score Love Language
4 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
0 Receiving of Gifts
10 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch
How to interpret your Profile Score:
Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary love language. If two scores are identical, you are bilingual (you have two primary love languages). If the scores of your primary and your secondary language are close (for example, 10 & 9 respectfully), it indicates both are important to you. Whatever a significant other does to express love in either of these languages will get emotional points with you.
The highest possible score for any language is 12.
Having a clear picture of your primary & secondary love languages will explain much of your past behavior Think back over the past and ask yourself "What have I most often requested from significant others?" Chances are your answer will lie within the scope of your primary & secondary love languages. You have been requesting that which would meet your deepest need for emotional love.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Post Sichuan quake thoughts
Long before (well, about 3 to 4 days before) the quake, I was already feeling unwell. I knew something big was coming. It wasn't different from the 2004 tsunami. But I only wished I knew where it was going to be.
Or would that have made a difference?
It's been almost three weeks after the quake. News are still coming in about the death toll, the quake lakes threatening to burst their barriers and the arduous reconstuction journey ahead.
These are normal, although, honestly, fatiguing to hear so much of all these... I somehow have this thought that come 1 Jun, there might be another biggie. It'll be 68 days to the Olympics. I don't know... It seemed to be a rather bad year for China.
Another development that is getting rather out of hand is fund raising for the quake victims. I guess Singaporeans have to capacity to be overflowing with love, since the last major catastrophe we had was the New World Hotel collapse. After that, we hardly had anything to bleed the country's coffers or the gullible Singaporeans' wallets. We weren't hit by the tsunami or any other natural disasters, except for ever increasing oil and food prices.
But what bugs me is the fact that people are organising fund raising events wave after wave after wave... like many small little tsunamis that take turns to hit different coasts, each time requiring a mass evacuation. It's plain tiring to be constantly bombarded. And there are confidence tricksters out to make a quick buck. Fraudsters apart, people raising money begin to look at you in a funny sort of way when you decide and tell them that you have had donated enough to such causes.
Hey, how much can ONE person donate? I am neither Jet Li or Jackie Chan. How am I going to find so much moolah to give away, especially when I need to worry about where my next meal is coming from? I don't go around telling people that I gave $x at y to the Sichuan victims, do I? So, don't assume that if I say I am not giving, I hadn't given.
The Chinese, as with many other peoples, are very expressive people and know how best to tug at heartstrings. The two poems below, with their laymen translations (from me), are case in point. If you need drama-mamas, try getting the Chinese. It some times make me wonder how people in Singapore could be bawling their eyes out when the only things they recognise in Sichuan are the pandas. And yet they speak of their suffering and their misery, as though they were a part of the entire catastrophe. To outsiders looking in, this is so... hilarious.
I am not a callous person. But I believe to be believable and to be above board, you need to temper your willingness to help with good sense and good taste. Otherwise, your emotions are most ill-placed.
Or would that have made a difference?
It's been almost three weeks after the quake. News are still coming in about the death toll, the quake lakes threatening to burst their barriers and the arduous reconstuction journey ahead.
These are normal, although, honestly, fatiguing to hear so much of all these... I somehow have this thought that come 1 Jun, there might be another biggie. It'll be 68 days to the Olympics. I don't know... It seemed to be a rather bad year for China.
Another development that is getting rather out of hand is fund raising for the quake victims. I guess Singaporeans have to capacity to be overflowing with love, since the last major catastrophe we had was the New World Hotel collapse. After that, we hardly had anything to bleed the country's coffers or the gullible Singaporeans' wallets. We weren't hit by the tsunami or any other natural disasters, except for ever increasing oil and food prices.
But what bugs me is the fact that people are organising fund raising events wave after wave after wave... like many small little tsunamis that take turns to hit different coasts, each time requiring a mass evacuation. It's plain tiring to be constantly bombarded. And there are confidence tricksters out to make a quick buck. Fraudsters apart, people raising money begin to look at you in a funny sort of way when you decide and tell them that you have had donated enough to such causes.
Hey, how much can ONE person donate? I am neither Jet Li or Jackie Chan. How am I going to find so much moolah to give away, especially when I need to worry about where my next meal is coming from? I don't go around telling people that I gave $x at y to the Sichuan victims, do I? So, don't assume that if I say I am not giving, I hadn't given.
The Chinese, as with many other peoples, are very expressive people and know how best to tug at heartstrings. The two poems below, with their laymen translations (from me), are case in point. If you need drama-mamas, try getting the Chinese. It some times make me wonder how people in Singapore could be bawling their eyes out when the only things they recognise in Sichuan are the pandas. And yet they speak of their suffering and their misery, as though they were a part of the entire catastrophe. To outsiders looking in, this is so... hilarious.
I am not a callous person. But I believe to be believable and to be above board, you need to temper your willingness to help with good sense and good taste. Otherwise, your emotions are most ill-placed.
孩子快抓紧妈妈的手 (Child, quick grasp Mother's hand)
孩子快
抓紧妈妈的手
去天堂的路
太黑了
妈妈怕你
碰了头
快
抓紧妈妈的手
让妈妈陪你走
妈妈
怕
天堂的路
太黑
我看不见你的手
自从
倒塌的墙
把阳光夺走
我再也看不见
你柔情的眸
孩子
你走吧
前面的路
再也没有忧愁
没有读不完的课本
和爸爸的拳头
你要记住
我和爸爸的摸样
来生还要一起走
妈妈
别担忧
天堂的路有些挤
有很多同学朋友
我们说
不哭
哪一个人的妈妈都是我们的妈妈
哪一个孩子都是妈妈的孩子
没有我的日子
你把爱给活的孩子吧
妈妈
你别哭
泪光照亮不了
我们的路
让我们自己
慢慢的走
妈妈
我会记住你和爸爸的模样
记住我们的约定
来生我们一起走
Child, quickly grasp Mother’s hand
The road to heaven is turning dark and Mother’s afraid you’ll hurt yourself along the way.
Quick, grasp Mother’s hand
Let mother accompany you
To walk to heaven before it gets too dark and I not to be able to see your hand
Ever since the walls collapsed, I am no longer able to see again your thoughtful eyes
Go on, Child. There is no more misery in the road ahead, no more endless books and daddy's fist
I want you to remember Daddy and my looks
So that we can carry on our journey in our next life.
Mother, don’t worry. The road to heaven is a little crowded.
My friends and I have resolved not to cry
Each child’s mother is everyone’s Mother
Each mother’s child is every Mother’s child
In your days without me around, please give your love to all the other children
Mother, please don’t cry, for your tears will not light up our path to Heaven.
Let us find our way to complete our own journeys
Mother, I will remember Daddy and your looks
And remember our promise
So that we can carry on our journey in our next life.
抓紧妈妈的手
去天堂的路
太黑了
妈妈怕你
碰了头
快
抓紧妈妈的手
让妈妈陪你走
妈妈
怕
天堂的路
太黑
我看不见你的手
自从
倒塌的墙
把阳光夺走
我再也看不见
你柔情的眸
孩子
你走吧
前面的路
再也没有忧愁
没有读不完的课本
和爸爸的拳头
你要记住
我和爸爸的摸样
来生还要一起走
妈妈
别担忧
天堂的路有些挤
有很多同学朋友
我们说
不哭
哪一个人的妈妈都是我们的妈妈
哪一个孩子都是妈妈的孩子
没有我的日子
你把爱给活的孩子吧
妈妈
你别哭
泪光照亮不了
我们的路
让我们自己
慢慢的走
妈妈
我会记住你和爸爸的模样
记住我们的约定
来生我们一起走
Child, quickly grasp Mother’s hand
The road to heaven is turning dark and Mother’s afraid you’ll hurt yourself along the way.
Quick, grasp Mother’s hand
Let mother accompany you
To walk to heaven before it gets too dark and I not to be able to see your hand
Ever since the walls collapsed, I am no longer able to see again your thoughtful eyes
Go on, Child. There is no more misery in the road ahead, no more endless books and daddy's fist
I want you to remember Daddy and my looks
So that we can carry on our journey in our next life.
Mother, don’t worry. The road to heaven is a little crowded.
My friends and I have resolved not to cry
Each child’s mother is everyone’s Mother
Each mother’s child is every Mother’s child
In your days without me around, please give your love to all the other children
Mother, please don’t cry, for your tears will not light up our path to Heaven.
Let us find our way to complete our own journeys
Mother, I will remember Daddy and your looks
And remember our promise
So that we can carry on our journey in our next life.
Friday, May 30, 2008
妈妈别哭 (Mother, do not cry)
妈妈别哭，我现在已没有痛苦
不用再看我，你一辈子也会记住
地震来得那么唐突
没有什么可以遮护
幸存的同学真让人羡慕
那一刻，求生的愿望强烈却茫然无助
妈妈别哭，我不能陪你走今后的路
这么多人陪我我不会孤独
却担心你悲痛地泪流如注
我多么希望你能幸福
我多想长大了孝敬父母
我真的不想早走这一步
妈妈别哭，地震是大地在发怒
也许是它一时糊涂
才伤害了这么多无辜
我只是不幸中的一卒
还有更多的人惨不忍睹
泪水掀不起压我的混凝土
妈妈别哭，别再抱着我幼小的身躯
我已没有往日的温度
呼吸和心跳已经止住
请给我换上爱穿的衣服
拿来我爱读的书
假如天堂里还有学府
我会在梦中告诉你考试的分数
妈妈别哭，天灾人祸是对圣灵的荼毒
你柔弱的身躯无法挡住
只要妈妈你还活着
就是上天对我们的眷顾
因为有你，每年清明那小坟上，会多一锹土
Mother, do not cry. I am no longer in pain now
You will not need to look at me again to remember me for a lifetime
The earthquake came suddenly;
Nothing could shield us from its destruction
We really envy our schoolmates who survived
At that moment, the desire to fight for life was intense but alas, futile
Mother, do not cry. I cannot accompany you on life’s road any more
There are many people with me and I won’t be lonely
But I worry that sorrowfully tears flow endlessly
How I hope that you can be happy
How I want to grow up and be filial to you
I really do not want to leave this early
Mother, do not cry. The earthquake is but Earth’s anger
Perhaps it was muddled for a while
Not realizing how it wrought misfortune to that many
I was only one of the unfortunate ones;
There are more worse off than me
Your tears cannot raise the concrete slabs off me
Mother, do not cry. Do not hold my young body
I no longer have the warmth of the days past
Breaths and heartbeats have already stopped
Please put on my favourite clothes
And bring me my favourite books
If there is a school in the heaven
I will tell you my examination score in your dream
Mother, do not cry. Natural and man-made disasters are our tribulations
Which your delicate body is unable to block
So long as, Mother, you are also living
It is Heaven’s blessings on us
Because of you, at each All Souls, a new layer of soil will be added to our little graves
不用再看我，你一辈子也会记住
地震来得那么唐突
没有什么可以遮护
幸存的同学真让人羡慕
那一刻，求生的愿望强烈却茫然无助
妈妈别哭，我不能陪你走今后的路
这么多人陪我我不会孤独
却担心你悲痛地泪流如注
我多么希望你能幸福
我多想长大了孝敬父母
我真的不想早走这一步
妈妈别哭，地震是大地在发怒
也许是它一时糊涂
才伤害了这么多无辜
我只是不幸中的一卒
还有更多的人惨不忍睹
泪水掀不起压我的混凝土
妈妈别哭，别再抱着我幼小的身躯
我已没有往日的温度
呼吸和心跳已经止住
请给我换上爱穿的衣服
拿来我爱读的书
假如天堂里还有学府
我会在梦中告诉你考试的分数
妈妈别哭，天灾人祸是对圣灵的荼毒
你柔弱的身躯无法挡住
只要妈妈你还活着
就是上天对我们的眷顾
因为有你，每年清明那小坟上，会多一锹土
Mother, do not cry. I am no longer in pain now
You will not need to look at me again to remember me for a lifetime
The earthquake came suddenly;
Nothing could shield us from its destruction
We really envy our schoolmates who survived
At that moment, the desire to fight for life was intense but alas, futile
Mother, do not cry. I cannot accompany you on life’s road any more
There are many people with me and I won’t be lonely
But I worry that sorrowfully tears flow endlessly
How I hope that you can be happy
How I want to grow up and be filial to you
I really do not want to leave this early
Mother, do not cry. The earthquake is but Earth’s anger
Perhaps it was muddled for a while
Not realizing how it wrought misfortune to that many
I was only one of the unfortunate ones;
There are more worse off than me
Your tears cannot raise the concrete slabs off me
Mother, do not cry. Do not hold my young body
I no longer have the warmth of the days past
Breaths and heartbeats have already stopped
Please put on my favourite clothes
And bring me my favourite books
If there is a school in the heaven
I will tell you my examination score in your dream
Mother, do not cry. Natural and man-made disasters are our tribulations
Which your delicate body is unable to block
So long as, Mother, you are also living
It is Heaven’s blessings on us
Because of you, at each All Souls, a new layer of soil will be added to our little graves
May is almost over
Hard to believe but May 2008 is almost over. I've left my job for more than a season already.
And the euphoria of not being held back by the unreasonable demands of a job still invigorates me tremendously.
Freedom Air... it's something I wish I would never have to give up!
And the euphoria of not being held back by the unreasonable demands of a job still invigorates me tremendously.
Freedom Air... it's something I wish I would never have to give up!
The Worst of Best Denki
Was at the Vivocity Best Denki last Sunday with my mum to a telephone set.
The service in Best was the worst I had ever experienced in the whole wide world. Not only were the sales people extremely unhelpful and unwilling to help, they even treat their customers as transparent.
After getting their attention by tapping my hand on the table, a salesguy with eye bags the size of Texas came up and asked, "What you want?" in a rude enough tone that one would have loved to put a hole in his face.
In all, the service was so poor and his attitude was so bad, his product knowledge was so lacking that I told my mum that our business was too little for Best. We weren't buying already.
On our way out of the store, I changed my mind and we went to complain to the useless Japanese manager of the store.
I won't waste precious health points recalling the pathetic experience. But I hope they close down soon.
The service in Best was the worst I had ever experienced in the whole wide world. Not only were the sales people extremely unhelpful and unwilling to help, they even treat their customers as transparent.
After getting their attention by tapping my hand on the table, a salesguy with eye bags the size of Texas came up and asked, "What you want?" in a rude enough tone that one would have loved to put a hole in his face.
In all, the service was so poor and his attitude was so bad, his product knowledge was so lacking that I told my mum that our business was too little for Best. We weren't buying already.
On our way out of the store, I changed my mind and we went to complain to the useless Japanese manager of the store.
I won't waste precious health points recalling the pathetic experience. But I hope they close down soon.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Failure is not an option
Of course it isn't an option, you dodo.
For some folks, failure is mandatory. It cannot be so if it were an option!
For some folks, failure is mandatory. It cannot be so if it were an option!
Why is it always money money money?
Why do we always give or get asked to donate money during disasters and crises?
Why not send school kids who need to chalk up community involvement hours for points over? We could give them a 10X multiplier bonus for going to ground zero.
Maybe this would help some no-hopers get an opportunity to at least submit a university application, since universities now (pretend to) look at applicants' holistic achivements.
I can just imagine the application essay:
I was a volunteer at Ground Zero of the Pacific Ocean Sea Bed earthquake which sent tsunamis to all sides of the Pacific, drowning all the coastal cities that ringed the ocean. I was bopping up and down the ocean trying to find survivors. I had to fish for squid and fish to keep myself alive. After it was decided that there were no human survivors of the quake in the ocean, I returned home. In recognition of my efforts, I have a million, billion, trillion, gazillion CIP points. I know the esteemed university gives great emphasis to applicants outside of their academic achievements and in this regard, dedicates 5% of the entry score to personal achievements in other areas. I hope my million, billion, trillion, gazillion CIP points will help in my application.
Although I am an average student in school (GPA 1.00), I am an all-rounder in other fields such as partying, boozing, puking, dancing, singing, bitching, volunteering, doing CIP... etc etc etc... I hope you could consider my application most favourably. I hope to hear from you soon.
Why not send school kids who need to chalk up community involvement hours for points over? We could give them a 10X multiplier bonus for going to ground zero.
Maybe this would help some no-hopers get an opportunity to at least submit a university application, since universities now (pretend to) look at applicants' holistic achivements.
I can just imagine the application essay:
I was a volunteer at Ground Zero of the Pacific Ocean Sea Bed earthquake which sent tsunamis to all sides of the Pacific, drowning all the coastal cities that ringed the ocean. I was bopping up and down the ocean trying to find survivors. I had to fish for squid and fish to keep myself alive. After it was decided that there were no human survivors of the quake in the ocean, I returned home. In recognition of my efforts, I have a million, billion, trillion, gazillion CIP points. I know the esteemed university gives great emphasis to applicants outside of their academic achievements and in this regard, dedicates 5% of the entry score to personal achievements in other areas. I hope my million, billion, trillion, gazillion CIP points will help in my application.
Although I am an average student in school (GPA 1.00), I am an all-rounder in other fields such as partying, boozing, puking, dancing, singing, bitching, volunteering, doing CIP... etc etc etc... I hope you could consider my application most favourably. I hope to hear from you soon.
David Cook Wins American Idol
I am heartbroken since my cutie Archuleta didn't win. Sigh...
Apparently, Cook has a staunch supporter of gays and bootlovers. Hm...
Apparently, Cook has a staunch supporter of gays and bootlovers. Hm...
If only...
Singapore planted a flag or erected some functionally useless fences on the Middle Rocks and South Ledge. Perhaps we would be granted sovereignty of that as well.
Oh, well. Perhaps not. Pirates would cut those fences and sell to the scrap yard for money.
Oh, well. Perhaps not. Pirates would cut those fences and sell to the scrap yard for money.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Li Bai's Prediction
Somehow, I have the nagging feeling that the poem is fake. To be honest, I put that up despite not being able to corroborate that the poem actually exists.
Well, for the fun of it. I won't be held responsible for this, whether or not it is geunine.
True, however, was my giddiness which started three days before the actual Sichuan earthquake. And after the quake, I began to feel better.
I wonder why I am not that accurate about striking lottery for myself.
I mean, if I said, Al, Fraser, I have this weird feeling. I think you're going to win US$20 million this weekend. I wonder if Al and/or Fraser would go out and buy a ticket just for the fun of it because they read this. And I wonder what would happen if they really struck the lottery as I foretold.
I bet if Al and/or Fraser did buy and won, my blog would explode. I bet then that everyone would want me to name them for striking lottery...
Well, for the fun of it. I won't be held responsible for this, whether or not it is geunine.
True, however, was my giddiness which started three days before the actual Sichuan earthquake. And after the quake, I began to feel better.
I wonder why I am not that accurate about striking lottery for myself.
I mean, if I said, Al, Fraser, I have this weird feeling. I think you're going to win US$20 million this weekend. I wonder if Al and/or Fraser would go out and buy a ticket just for the fun of it because they read this. And I wonder what would happen if they really struck the lottery as I foretold.
I bet if Al and/or Fraser did buy and won, my blog would explode. I bet then that everyone would want me to name them for striking lottery...
China's Nostradamus - Poet Li Bai
1.25 snow disaster = disaster of the heavens
3.14 Tibetan independence = man-made disaster
5.12 earthquake = disaster of the lands
1+2+5=8
3+1+4=8
5+1+2=8
The Olympic Games 08.08.08 are away from for 88 days.
When it happened is a afternoon 2.18 point .8 suffix.
What happened is a 7.8 magnitude of earthquake .8 suffixes.
China has the superstition that 8 is a propitious digit. Actually when one reviews history, most inauspicious matters are related to the digit 8.
We thought frequently 8 means "prosperous" (or a direct translation means good tidings occur). However, what "tidings" have really occurred?
A Li Bai's actually foretold the happening in a poem he wrote:
The first words of the 4 verses read: Beijing Olympic Games
whereas the last words of the corresponding lines read: Sichuan earthquake.
- Bad English courtesy of BabelFish; decision to use the bad English is mine.
3.14 Tibetan independence = man-made disaster
5.12 earthquake = disaster of the lands
1+2+5=8
3+1+4=8
5+1+2=8
The Olympic Games 08.08.08 are away from for 88 days.
When it happened is a afternoon 2.18 point .8 suffix.
What happened is a 7.8 magnitude of earthquake .8 suffixes.
China has the superstition that 8 is a propitious digit. Actually when one reviews history, most inauspicious matters are related to the digit 8.
We thought frequently 8 means "prosperous" (or a direct translation means good tidings occur). However, what "tidings" have really occurred?
A Li Bai's actually foretold the happening in a poem he wrote:
The first words of the 4 verses read: Beijing Olympic Games
whereas the last words of the corresponding lines read: Sichuan earthquake.
- Bad English courtesy of BabelFish; decision to use the bad English is mine.
中国的诺斯特拉达姆士（Nostradamus)
1.25 雪灾=天灾
3.14 藏独=人祸
5.12 地震=地灾
1+2+5=8
3+1+4=8
5+1+2=8
奥运会 08.08.08 距离88天。
事发时间是下午2点18分，8后缀。
发的是7.8级地震，8后缀。
中国有迷信传统，说8是吉祥数字。
其实回顾历史，很多事情都和8有关，而且是不好的。
我们常常认为8是"发"，反问下，到底"发"出来的是什么。
李白的一首诗
北幕苍山兰州四，
京无落下缀清川；
奥年叶落缘分地，
运水微漾人却震。
李白早知道【北京奥运，四川地震】。
3.14 藏独=人祸
5.12 地震=地灾
1+2+5=8
3+1+4=8
5+1+2=8
奥运会 08.08.08 距离88天。
事发时间是下午2点18分，8后缀。
发的是7.8级地震，8后缀。
中国有迷信传统，说8是吉祥数字。
其实回顾历史，很多事情都和8有关，而且是不好的。
我们常常认为8是"发"，反问下，到底"发"出来的是什么。
李白的一首诗
北幕苍山兰州四，
京无落下缀清川；
奥年叶落缘分地，
运水微漾人却震。
李白早知道【北京奥运，四川地震】。
Friday, May 16, 2008
Now the wiser...
Snafu, tarfu, toufu. Fido, dido, libido. Bleh!
FIDO - Forget It-Drive On
FUBAR - Fucked Up Beyond All Repair/Recognition
FUBB - Fucked Up Beyond Belief
FUMTU - Fucked Up More Than Usual
JANFU - Joint Army-Navy Fuck Up
TARFU - Things Are Really Fucked Up
SNAFU - Situation Normal: All Fucked Up
FUBAB - Fucked Up Beyond All Belief
FIDO - Forget It-Drive On
FUBAR - Fucked Up Beyond All Repair/Recognition
FUBB - Fucked Up Beyond Belief
FUMTU - Fucked Up More Than Usual
JANFU - Joint Army-Navy Fuck Up
TARFU - Things Are Really Fucked Up
SNAFU - Situation Normal: All Fucked Up
FUBAB - Fucked Up Beyond All Belief
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Tough Love
A new cliche I learned:
I tenderly and lovingly smother each script liberally with X O sauce.
Doesn't it sound like I'm really ready for my own cooking show?
I tenderly and lovingly smother each script liberally with X O sauce.
Doesn't it sound like I'm really ready for my own cooking show?
Deja Vu
The set of Vectors lecture notes sat on my table. I flipped through it nonchalantly.
It'll be the second time this year I'm running the full Vectors package to another class.
I guess that's part and parcel of teaching. But while teachers teach the same topics around the same time when they are teaching the same level and stream, I straddle across two different levels of students offering different syllabi for their national examinations.
But one good thing has come out of this: Because I don't teach the same topic ad nauseam over a short period of time, I guess I'll have more enthusiasm.
It'll be the second time this year I'm running the full Vectors package to another class.
I guess that's part and parcel of teaching. But while teachers teach the same topics around the same time when they are teaching the same level and stream, I straddle across two different levels of students offering different syllabi for their national examinations.
But one good thing has come out of this: Because I don't teach the same topic ad nauseam over a short period of time, I guess I'll have more enthusiasm.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Call me bitchy...
Interestingly, there was too much bee hoon (rice noodles) compared to laksa gravy at the promotion treat today. Hard to eat plain, dry rice noodles without the gravy!
And there was really not quite enough food. For instance, the yam ring ran out before most of us managed to get any.
But as the vice principal said, "We thank Lord for providing the feast we are going to have despite the global shortage of food yadah yadah yadah." So, apparently, we should be happy that there is food at all. However...
Eh, I think the 20 promotees paid for the meal lah!
And there was really not quite enough food. For instance, the yam ring ran out before most of us managed to get any.
But as the vice principal said, "We thank Lord for providing the feast we are going to have despite the global shortage of food yadah yadah yadah." So, apparently, we should be happy that there is food at all. However...
Eh, I think the 20 promotees paid for the meal lah!
Lemon balm tea
The lemon balm leaves make an excellent infusion when you steep them in hot water. I got flavoured water which tasted like lemon grass tea.
I now can make lots of it for drinking. To think it costs $2 or more per glass outside! And what you usually get is a coyingly sweet drink with just that hint of lemon grass. Now I can have it often and cheaply and best of all, without the sugar.
My herb garden is indeed an excellent decision!
I now can make lots of it for drinking. To think it costs $2 or more per glass outside! And what you usually get is a coyingly sweet drink with just that hint of lemon grass. Now I can have it often and cheaply and best of all, without the sugar.
My herb garden is indeed an excellent decision!
Taking ownership
I "lost" my temper at a bunch of students today. They were part of a history making class where everyone failed math.
I was not so much perturbed by their failure but by their poor attitude, irresponsibility and denial.
Made them write a reflection today. Most were self-critical and honest about what went wrong. A few finally came to terms with what and who they really are. I have no idea how long this sense of urgency would last.
There were still some who chose to hide behind the fact that they had failed math ever since Secondary 1 and they were not confident of the subject. Yet, they failed to come to terms with their difficulties and get their hands dirty when I asked them to try.
Ostriches. That's what they are. Unless they are willing to enter the trenches and get low down and dirty, learning will never take place.
One can't mine a diamond without getting into a hell hole and getting dirty. I wonder when they will understand this simple theory.
I was not so much perturbed by their failure but by their poor attitude, irresponsibility and denial.
Made them write a reflection today. Most were self-critical and honest about what went wrong. A few finally came to terms with what and who they really are. I have no idea how long this sense of urgency would last.
There were still some who chose to hide behind the fact that they had failed math ever since Secondary 1 and they were not confident of the subject. Yet, they failed to come to terms with their difficulties and get their hands dirty when I asked them to try.
Ostriches. That's what they are. Unless they are willing to enter the trenches and get low down and dirty, learning will never take place.
One can't mine a diamond without getting into a hell hole and getting dirty. I wonder when they will understand this simple theory.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
真正的英雄是能够为自己的心做主的人。
这样的一种由自己的心智而决定的人生会给我们每个人开拓出不同的境界。这是什么，这就是生命的觉悟。觉悟这个词是一个佛家用语。大家可以看一看觉悟这两个字的写法很有意思。觉是下面有一个见字。悟是什么？竖心一个吾。也就是说，悟其实是我们的心。觉悟，用我们今天的话说是看见我的心。这种觉悟我们问问自己，终其一生有几个人看见了自己的心。你可以了解真个世界，你可以了解他人。这个世界太难了解就是看见我的心，这才是觉悟。而觉悟在佛家禅宗的开悟中，被描述为两个阶段。觉是一个阶段。比如说你听了某种知识，有一个人跟你说了一句话。所谓醍醐灌顶，突然之间眼界通透，这叫有所觉。但是你长长的一生的修为，遇到任何一个事情做反观内心，去考虑突然之间又明白一点什么。这个长长的感受和如何参化的过程叫做悟。也就是说觉是一个瞬间，悟是一个过程。把所有点的瞬间与长长一生的感受结合起来，你所到达的就是终于看见我的心。这是人生的大觉悟。
于丹心语
于丹心语
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Did We Get It Wrong?
She had to pass her N level examinations before she could be promoted to Secondary 5 to complete her O level examinations. Or, with the N level passes, she could have gone over to the Institute of Technical Education, where she could get some form of "tertiary" education. In any case, she had completed her 10 years of mandatory education, stipluated by Singapore law.
Yet, since she had decided to attend Secondary 5, an almost inordinately tough additional year to obtain her O level certificate. One of the reasons for the difficulty is in the difference between the syllabi to be tested at the two years. Another reason, which might or might not be true, is that while the O level certificate has international recognition, the N level certificate has none.
What's my point?
I was invigilating a paper where this student placed her head on her table and dozed off less than 30 minutes into a 75 minutes Physics paper. She was not alone sleeping in the middle of the paper.
Being a responsible invigilator, I went round waking people up. There was no way the 75 minute paper is going to be completed in 30 minutes. I couldn't even do it myself. And when I tried waking this thing up, she lost her temper and threw a tantrum.
I begin to wonder if we have gotten it wrong. If so, what went wrong? And finally, what are we going to do about it?
Yet, since she had decided to attend Secondary 5, an almost inordinately tough additional year to obtain her O level certificate. One of the reasons for the difficulty is in the difference between the syllabi to be tested at the two years. Another reason, which might or might not be true, is that while the O level certificate has international recognition, the N level certificate has none.
What's my point?
I was invigilating a paper where this student placed her head on her table and dozed off less than 30 minutes into a 75 minutes Physics paper. She was not alone sleeping in the middle of the paper.
Being a responsible invigilator, I went round waking people up. There was no way the 75 minute paper is going to be completed in 30 minutes. I couldn't even do it myself. And when I tried waking this thing up, she lost her temper and threw a tantrum.
I begin to wonder if we have gotten it wrong. If so, what went wrong? And finally, what are we going to do about it?
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Delaying the inevitable
I may be jumping the gun here but I think the woman is really trying to delay the inevitable.
She's already so far behind and she's already lent her campaign US$6 million!
But perhaps that's small money.
I hear Billy gives talks at USD 250k per pop. And given his prowess and the practice that he had with and on his intern, he could probably take on a sideline.
What made me amused was the fact that he did not ask her to back down. Or did her. Because the numbers are hard to deny and overcome. The opponent had a significantly strong hand.
Party members would also realise that even if she wins, her winning margin would make her target for opposition gunfire because of her highly fractious campaign. If people really wanted her, she wouldn't have had to settle for such a nomination on such pathetic numbers.
In fact, both her and her opponent are either so damned good that the party is having a hard time to decide or are so damned that the party is having a hard time to decide. Finally, the whole people will have a hard time trying to decide as well.
If she threw in the towel now and graciously backed him, she could probably claim credit as a "king-maker".
But only time will tell if this post has jumped the gun.
She's already so far behind and she's already lent her campaign US$6 million!
But perhaps that's small money.
I hear Billy gives talks at USD 250k per pop. And given his prowess and the practice that he had with and on his intern, he could probably take on a sideline.
What made me amused was the fact that he did not ask her to back down. Or did her. Because the numbers are hard to deny and overcome. The opponent had a significantly strong hand.
Party members would also realise that even if she wins, her winning margin would make her target for opposition gunfire because of her highly fractious campaign. If people really wanted her, she wouldn't have had to settle for such a nomination on such pathetic numbers.
In fact, both her and her opponent are either so damned good that the party is having a hard time to decide or are so damned that the party is having a hard time to decide. Finally, the whole people will have a hard time trying to decide as well.
If she threw in the towel now and graciously backed him, she could probably claim credit as a "king-maker".
But only time will tell if this post has jumped the gun.
Worms love my rosemary
Can anyone tell me why I keep getting a particular kind of caterpillars in my rosemary plant pot? It seems to crawl round the pot in circles, not really eating the rosemary (presumably too pungent for it). But it makes me frustrated because I keep having to kill the worms daily. Sigh.
Loan Offers
I've been receiving calls from banks offering me loans at special rates. These banks are fair weather friends. They will offer you all sorts of things to induce you to take a loan and get in debt.
As long as you can pay, they are fine. But wait till you miss a payment or two.
So I told the umpteenth telemarketeer that I wanted only free cash. Any loan that I needed to repay (i.e. non-free cash), I am not interested. Neither am I in need.
She asked for friends or colleagues for referrals. In response, I told her that my friends and colleagues are also only interested in free cash.
You could hear her enthusiasm after my response. Comparing to the initial chirpy self, she sounded like a deflated ballon dumped to the floor with a thud.
How I love giving it to these unsolicited calls. The worst ones go, "Mr Tan, are you a customer of XYZ Bank? Can I know what services you are subscribed to?" They have absolutely no idea what relations you have with the bank, the client they are acting for.
Given this age of illegal data mining, no way am I going to divulge such secrets. I'm no rich man but still, my privacy remains private.
If you think I was mean, wait till I tell you the time when I told another telemarketeer to pass me the $50 000 insurance payout immediately. I'll just make sure something happens to me.
As long as you can pay, they are fine. But wait till you miss a payment or two.
So I told the umpteenth telemarketeer that I wanted only free cash. Any loan that I needed to repay (i.e. non-free cash), I am not interested. Neither am I in need.
She asked for friends or colleagues for referrals. In response, I told her that my friends and colleagues are also only interested in free cash.
You could hear her enthusiasm after my response. Comparing to the initial chirpy self, she sounded like a deflated ballon dumped to the floor with a thud.
How I love giving it to these unsolicited calls. The worst ones go, "Mr Tan, are you a customer of XYZ Bank? Can I know what services you are subscribed to?" They have absolutely no idea what relations you have with the bank, the client they are acting for.
Given this age of illegal data mining, no way am I going to divulge such secrets. I'm no rich man but still, my privacy remains private.
If you think I was mean, wait till I tell you the time when I told another telemarketeer to pass me the $50 000 insurance payout immediately. I'll just make sure something happens to me.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
There will be miracles...
I hope David Archuleta wins American Idol. I'd boldly predict that it will be a David vs David final.
The bona fide Brooke White has been voted out. Sayesha will be next. When it comes down to the final two, the male Brooke White aka Jason Castro will bite the dust. So it'll be David Archuleta and David Cook.
Archuleta is a cutie. Instantly loveable. And it helps that we do not have a voice like his for a long time. Cook grows on you. And it helps to be 27. Compared to Archuleta's 17, being 27 allows you to bring more maturity and depth into the performance. If I had my way, I'll let them both be American Idol for this season.
Amazingly, I have been spot on for all the episodes since the last 24. I'm just watching the results show just to confirm my guesses. And I have been watching performances and guessing - correctly too - what Randy, Paula and Simon will say to the contestants.
And most of the time, Simon says what I would say. Not to say that I'm good, but to wonder if and why Americans are not good at taking the truth. They boo Simon but whatever for? Do you guys really want a substandard idol?
But this is not the main thrust of this entry.
I am here to share my joy as my babies sprouted as many fresh shoots as there are openings last night.
It had been a long hard dry hot spell in Singapore. Amazingly, the bush fires have not started although people are getting increasingly hot about the rising inflation rate, rising rice prices, rising petrol prices, rising edible oil prices, rising cooked food prices, rising temperature, and what have you.
People forget however that there are things that are also rising, to which we should cheer, like rising Sing Dollars. Oh, right. You won't cheer this because this would mean that more foreign (do you really have) talent would be coming to Singapore to snatch from us a piece of the work pie, never mind the fact that those jobs such as sweeping corridors, rubbish collection, shipyard work, coffeeshop waitresses, and nursing home attendants, to name a few, are work that no Singaporean wanted. Or for that matter, never mind if we have run out of Singaporeans to do the job. It's just that we are too scared to lose those jobs to foreigners, just in case they do better than us despite their (lack of) talent. Just for the record, their productivity is already higher than the best Singaporean employee for the simple fact that they would work for paltry pay.
So we complain bitterly about increases. So one would assume that we ought to be grateful to things that decrease. But no!
Singaporeans curse their bad luck when property prices fall. But in the first place, when the property market was booming, Singaporeans chased it upwards. No one asked you to work those prices up. Honestly. But you cannot wait to buy the even bigger next apartment in an even more exclusive area. I didn't hold a gun to your head to force you to buy. You heated the market and now when you run out of coal, I mean cash, to feed to burner, of course the sector would cool.
Now that the prices are falling, they begin to lament their bad luck. But hey, if you think you could afford to invest in a 5th, 6th, 7th,... condominium apartment to collect rent or even flip it for a handsome profit, you should take to price dips kindly too. For depriving the likes of me a simple roof over my head because you need to flaunt how rich you are, the price you pay is really small.
There are other things that are falling too. For instance, the interest that we earn from our savings accounts. The interest rates now make savings a money losing proposition. And the food portions are falling in tandem with rising food prices too. And, relative to the inflation, my purchasing power is falling. In fact, I just bought myself 3 Timberland shirts from some warehouse sale when I should be getting something from Hugo Balls.
But I live in hope that there will be miracles. Like the one that I created for my herb garden last night.
Before I go there, I'd like to share something that an American friend of mine told me a couple of months back - if the US economy slips, it'll go straight into depression. In fact, she said that Bernanke is a "Depression" scholar and his act of rating rates is in fact an anti-depression move. To me, I tread carefully because these are uncertain times. And since I am now self-employed, I believe staying liquid is better than tying up all my money in stocks, gold and foreign currencies, especially when I really don't have all that money to tie up anyway.
So, back to the plants. All I did was to spritz them liberally with cool mist last night. The heat and the sudden water mist fooled them into thinking that the drought is over and a new, season of abundant water is coming. So they "blossomed" by sprouting new buds, growing new leaves.
The entire herb garden of dark solid coloured leaves is now accentuated with bright, pale green buds. The strength of life! And an immaculate understanding of biology and the environment, thanks to another miracle, the TV.
The bona fide Brooke White has been voted out. Sayesha will be next. When it comes down to the final two, the male Brooke White aka Jason Castro will bite the dust. So it'll be David Archuleta and David Cook.
Archuleta is a cutie. Instantly loveable. And it helps that we do not have a voice like his for a long time. Cook grows on you. And it helps to be 27. Compared to Archuleta's 17, being 27 allows you to bring more maturity and depth into the performance. If I had my way, I'll let them both be American Idol for this season.
Amazingly, I have been spot on for all the episodes since the last 24. I'm just watching the results show just to confirm my guesses. And I have been watching performances and guessing - correctly too - what Randy, Paula and Simon will say to the contestants.
And most of the time, Simon says what I would say. Not to say that I'm good, but to wonder if and why Americans are not good at taking the truth. They boo Simon but whatever for? Do you guys really want a substandard idol?
But this is not the main thrust of this entry.
I am here to share my joy as my babies sprouted as many fresh shoots as there are openings last night.
It had been a long hard dry hot spell in Singapore. Amazingly, the bush fires have not started although people are getting increasingly hot about the rising inflation rate, rising rice prices, rising petrol prices, rising edible oil prices, rising cooked food prices, rising temperature, and what have you.
People forget however that there are things that are also rising, to which we should cheer, like rising Sing Dollars. Oh, right. You won't cheer this because this would mean that more foreign (do you really have) talent would be coming to Singapore to snatch from us a piece of the work pie, never mind the fact that those jobs such as sweeping corridors, rubbish collection, shipyard work, coffeeshop waitresses, and nursing home attendants, to name a few, are work that no Singaporean wanted. Or for that matter, never mind if we have run out of Singaporeans to do the job. It's just that we are too scared to lose those jobs to foreigners, just in case they do better than us despite their (lack of) talent. Just for the record, their productivity is already higher than the best Singaporean employee for the simple fact that they would work for paltry pay.
So we complain bitterly about increases. So one would assume that we ought to be grateful to things that decrease. But no!
Singaporeans curse their bad luck when property prices fall. But in the first place, when the property market was booming, Singaporeans chased it upwards. No one asked you to work those prices up. Honestly. But you cannot wait to buy the even bigger next apartment in an even more exclusive area. I didn't hold a gun to your head to force you to buy. You heated the market and now when you run out of coal, I mean cash, to feed to burner, of course the sector would cool.
Now that the prices are falling, they begin to lament their bad luck. But hey, if you think you could afford to invest in a 5th, 6th, 7th,... condominium apartment to collect rent or even flip it for a handsome profit, you should take to price dips kindly too. For depriving the likes of me a simple roof over my head because you need to flaunt how rich you are, the price you pay is really small.
There are other things that are falling too. For instance, the interest that we earn from our savings accounts. The interest rates now make savings a money losing proposition. And the food portions are falling in tandem with rising food prices too. And, relative to the inflation, my purchasing power is falling. In fact, I just bought myself 3 Timberland shirts from some warehouse sale when I should be getting something from Hugo Balls.
But I live in hope that there will be miracles. Like the one that I created for my herb garden last night.
Before I go there, I'd like to share something that an American friend of mine told me a couple of months back - if the US economy slips, it'll go straight into depression. In fact, she said that Bernanke is a "Depression" scholar and his act of rating rates is in fact an anti-depression move. To me, I tread carefully because these are uncertain times. And since I am now self-employed, I believe staying liquid is better than tying up all my money in stocks, gold and foreign currencies, especially when I really don't have all that money to tie up anyway.
So, back to the plants. All I did was to spritz them liberally with cool mist last night. The heat and the sudden water mist fooled them into thinking that the drought is over and a new, season of abundant water is coming. So they "blossomed" by sprouting new buds, growing new leaves.
The entire herb garden of dark solid coloured leaves is now accentuated with bright, pale green buds. The strength of life! And an immaculate understanding of biology and the environment, thanks to another miracle, the TV.
My Herb Garden
It all started out with this article in the Financial Times, which recommended that apartment dwellers like me would do well to grow herbs and vegetables out of pots. In fact, the author claimed that the plants would do better in a pot than a piece of land.
This was an unanticipated dose of confidence. I did not think I would get anything to thrive on the seventh storey, devoid of sunshine. But the week that the chef friend of mine was here, I got pots and pots of herbs. 6 pots to be exact: Spanish Corriander, Dill, Rosemary, Tarragon, Lemon Balm and Rockets. In addition, I transplanted my half-dead, half-year old basil plant and sowed 7 basil seeds, of which 3 has germinated.
Indeed, curiosity got the better of me. I just wanted to see if I could grow these wonderful herbs in the corridor outside my place. At this moment, all the plants are alive. My half dead basil has outperformed the rest of the plants. My rockets are getting used to the heat. My Spanish Corriander, with its serrated-edged leaves are doing great. Rosemary seem to be sprouting new leaves. Lemon balm is abundant. Tarragon and dill are doing great.
It's so sweet looking at the plants and watering them twice a day. The first watering is done in a rushed manner - just before work, while the second one is usually done with more love. There is time to admire now Mother Nature coaxes the next leaves to come out of those plants day by day and tell the plants they are doing great. I hope to have a functional herb garden where I can walk out with a pair of scissors and snip what I need for a meal. That would be divine.
My next target would be to grow tomatoes. I know who to blame if the 'toes don't grow fine.
This was an unanticipated dose of confidence. I did not think I would get anything to thrive on the seventh storey, devoid of sunshine. But the week that the chef friend of mine was here, I got pots and pots of herbs. 6 pots to be exact: Spanish Corriander, Dill, Rosemary, Tarragon, Lemon Balm and Rockets. In addition, I transplanted my half-dead, half-year old basil plant and sowed 7 basil seeds, of which 3 has germinated.
Indeed, curiosity got the better of me. I just wanted to see if I could grow these wonderful herbs in the corridor outside my place. At this moment, all the plants are alive. My half dead basil has outperformed the rest of the plants. My rockets are getting used to the heat. My Spanish Corriander, with its serrated-edged leaves are doing great. Rosemary seem to be sprouting new leaves. Lemon balm is abundant. Tarragon and dill are doing great.
It's so sweet looking at the plants and watering them twice a day. The first watering is done in a rushed manner - just before work, while the second one is usually done with more love. There is time to admire now Mother Nature coaxes the next leaves to come out of those plants day by day and tell the plants they are doing great. I hope to have a functional herb garden where I can walk out with a pair of scissors and snip what I need for a meal. That would be divine.
My next target would be to grow tomatoes. I know who to blame if the 'toes don't grow fine.
Friday, May 02, 2008
Gahmen also keeps 7 years' worth of activity logs
Japanese official demoted for logging more than 780,000 hits on porn sites
AP - Saturday, May 3 TOKYO -
A Japanese civil servant was demoted for logging more than 780,000 hits on pornographic Web sites on his office computer over nine months, an official said Friday.
The man, a Kinokawa city government employee in western Japan, visited porn sites from June 2007 to February 2008, city official Tomiko Waki said. The man's name was withheld.
City officials said the number of hits discovered on his computer's internal log was so high in part because one click on certain types of pornographic sites registers multiple hits.
Despite his frequent porn viewing, none of his colleagues noticed his activities, which he apparently conducted throughout the workday.
"Each desk is set apart from each other," Waki said, adding that the man logged 170,000 hits on porn sites in July alone.
The man's supervisors discovered his extensive porn site visits after his computer became infected with a virus, prompting officials to examine his Web browser's history.
Along with the demotion, he received a 20,000 yen (US$190; �122) monthly pay cut, Waki said.
Is He Really?
Gordon Ramsey got really, really famous in his culinary programme, the F-word. Other men can also gain fame, or rather infamy, by achieving the I-word.
Honestly, what's wrong with the I-word? It is something that men would blessed with, given time. Sure, not everyone would degenerate into that state but a good number of people do.
In fact, the little blue pill may get your equipment stiff and stout but it cannot do anything about the motility of the post-activity liquid expulsion.
I would also hazard a guess that there are really some men who simply do not care. Hey, nothing lives, nothing lives. How convenient. Haven't men been more than shrewd in exposing their women's infidelity after they announce they have been bumped up?
"Darling, I'm carrying your baby! You're a father," cooed woman.
"I am unable", said man.
"Who's child are you carrying?" he inevitably continued.
Overused drama device but it always worked. Just like the most succinct essay that combines suspense, sex, religion and royalty: "Oh my God! I'm pregnant," said the Queen. "I wonder who's the father."
During university linear algebra lectures, we would inevitable suppress our sniggers when our lecturer - an irritating thing from Hong Kong who ended all his statements in class with either "isn't it" or "obvious", but sadly, most of his students, except one, didn't know what it was or what was obvious - talked about nilpotent groups. At that time, many of us were wondering why mathematicians would not simply call the group impotent - why nilpotent? Nil means nothing, isn't it? But nilpotent indeed has its place in mathematics.
So, it leaves me to wonder if someone who is really i-worded would come clean and tell the world he or she is. I can only guess.
PS. For men who know, can you share with everyone what's worse - e-dysfunction or being i-worded?
Honestly, what's wrong with the I-word? It is something that men would blessed with, given time. Sure, not everyone would degenerate into that state but a good number of people do.
In fact, the little blue pill may get your equipment stiff and stout but it cannot do anything about the motility of the post-activity liquid expulsion.
I would also hazard a guess that there are really some men who simply do not care. Hey, nothing lives, nothing lives. How convenient. Haven't men been more than shrewd in exposing their women's infidelity after they announce they have been bumped up?
"Darling, I'm carrying your baby! You're a father," cooed woman.
"I am unable", said man.
"Who's child are you carrying?" he inevitably continued.
Overused drama device but it always worked. Just like the most succinct essay that combines suspense, sex, religion and royalty: "Oh my God! I'm pregnant," said the Queen. "I wonder who's the father."
During university linear algebra lectures, we would inevitable suppress our sniggers when our lecturer - an irritating thing from Hong Kong who ended all his statements in class with either "isn't it" or "obvious", but sadly, most of his students, except one, didn't know what it was or what was obvious - talked about nilpotent groups. At that time, many of us were wondering why mathematicians would not simply call the group impotent - why nilpotent? Nil means nothing, isn't it? But nilpotent indeed has its place in mathematics.
So, it leaves me to wonder if someone who is really i-worded would come clean and tell the world he or she is. I can only guess.
PS. For men who know, can you share with everyone what's worse - e-dysfunction or being i-worded?
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