Post Sichuan quake thoughts

Long before (well, about 3 to 4 days before) the quake, I was already feeling unwell. I knew something big was coming. It wasn't different from the 2004 tsunami. But I only wished I knew where it was going to be.

Or would that have made a difference?

It's been almost three weeks after the quake. News are still coming in about the death toll, the quake lakes threatening to burst their barriers and the arduous reconstuction journey ahead.

These are normal, although, honestly, fatiguing to hear so much of all these... I somehow have this thought that come 1 Jun, there might be another biggie. It'll be 68 days to the Olympics. I don't know... It seemed to be a rather bad year for China.

Another development that is getting rather out of hand is fund raising for the quake victims. I guess Singaporeans have to capacity to be overflowing with love, since the last major catastrophe we had was the New World Hotel collapse. After that, we hardly had anything to bleed the country's coffers or the gullible Singaporeans' wallets. We weren't hit by the tsunami or any other natural disasters, except for ever increasing oil and food prices.

But what bugs me is the fact that people are organising fund raising events wave after wave after wave... like many small little tsunamis that take turns to hit different coasts, each time requiring a mass evacuation. It's plain tiring to be constantly bombarded. And there are confidence tricksters out to make a quick buck. Fraudsters apart, people raising money begin to look at you in a funny sort of way when you decide and tell them that you have had donated enough to such causes.

Hey, how much can ONE person donate? I am neither Jet Li or Jackie Chan. How am I going to find so much moolah to give away, especially when I need to worry about where my next meal is coming from? I don't go around telling people that I gave $x at y to the Sichuan victims, do I? So, don't assume that if I say I am not giving, I hadn't given.

The Chinese, as with many other peoples, are very expressive people and know how best to tug at heartstrings. The two poems below, with their laymen translations (from me), are case in point. If you need drama-mamas, try getting the Chinese. It some times make me wonder how people in Singapore could be bawling their eyes out when the only things they recognise in Sichuan are the pandas. And yet they speak of their suffering and their misery, as though they were a part of the entire catastrophe. To outsiders looking in, this is so... hilarious.

I am not a callous person. But I believe to be believable and to be above board, you need to temper your willingness to help with good sense and good taste. Otherwise, your emotions are most ill-placed.

孩子快抓紧妈妈的手 (Child, quick grasp Mother's hand)

孩子快
抓紧妈妈的手
去天堂的路
太黑了
妈妈怕你
碰了头
快
抓紧妈妈的手
让妈妈陪你走
妈妈
怕
天堂的路
太黑
我看不见你的手
自从
倒塌的墙
把阳光夺走
我再也看不见
你柔情的眸
孩子
你走吧
前面的路
再也没有忧愁
没有读不完的课本
和爸爸的拳头
你要记住
我和爸爸的摸样
来生还要一起走
妈妈
别担忧
天堂的路有些挤
有很多同学朋友
我们说
不哭
哪一个人的妈妈都是我们的妈妈
哪一个孩子都是妈妈的孩子
没有我的日子
你把爱给活的孩子吧
妈妈
你别哭
泪光照亮不了
我们的路
让我们自己
慢慢的走
妈妈
我会记住你和爸爸的模样
记住我们的约定
来生我们一起走

Child, quickly grasp Mother’s hand
The road to heaven is turning dark and Mother’s afraid you’ll hurt yourself along the way.
Quick, grasp Mother’s hand
Let mother accompany you
To walk to heaven before it gets too dark and I not to be able to see your hand
Ever since the walls collapsed, I am no longer able to see again your thoughtful eyes
Go on, Child. There is no more misery in the road ahead, no more endless books and daddy's fist
I want you to remember Daddy and my looks
So that we can carry on our journey in our next life.

Mother, don’t worry. The road to heaven is a little crowded.
My friends and I have resolved not to cry
Each child’s mother is everyone’s Mother
Each mother’s child is every Mother’s child
In your days without me around, please give your love to all the other children
Mother, please don’t cry, for your tears will not light up our path to Heaven.
Let us find our way to complete our own journeys
Mother, I will remember Daddy and your looks
And remember our promise
So that we can carry on our journey in our next life.

妈妈别哭 (Mother, do not cry)

妈妈别哭，我现在已没有痛苦

不用再看我，你一辈子也会记住

地震来得那么唐突

没有什么可以遮护

幸存的同学真让人羡慕

那一刻，求生的愿望强烈却茫然无助

妈妈别哭，我不能陪你走今后的路

这么多人陪我我不会孤独

却担心你悲痛地泪流如注

我多么希望你能幸福

我多想长大了孝敬父母

我真的不想早走这一步

妈妈别哭，地震是大地在发怒

也许是它一时糊涂

才伤害了这么多无辜

我只是不幸中的一卒

还有更多的人惨不忍睹

泪水掀不起压我的混凝土

妈妈别哭，别再抱着我幼小的身躯

我已没有往日的温度

呼吸和心跳已经止住

请给我换上爱穿的衣服

拿来我爱读的书

假如天堂里还有学府

我会在梦中告诉你考试的分数

妈妈别哭，天灾人祸是对圣灵的荼毒

你柔弱的身躯无法挡住

只要妈妈你还活着

就是上天对我们的眷顾

因为有你，每年清明那小坟上，会多一锹土

Mother, do not cry. I am no longer in pain now
You will not need to look at me again to remember me for a lifetime
The earthquake came suddenly;
Nothing could shield us from its destruction
We really envy our schoolmates who survived
At that moment, the desire to fight for life was intense but alas, futile
Mother, do not cry. I cannot accompany you on life’s road any more
There are many people with me and I won’t be lonely
But I worry that sorrowfully tears flow endlessly
How I hope that you can be happy
How I want to grow up and be filial to you
I really do not want to leave this early
Mother, do not cry. The earthquake is but Earth’s anger
Perhaps it was muddled for a while
Not realizing how it wrought misfortune to that many
I was only one of the unfortunate ones;
There are more worse off than me
Your tears cannot raise the concrete slabs off me
Mother, do not cry. Do not hold my young body
I no longer have the warmth of the days past
Breaths and heartbeats have already stopped
Please put on my favourite clothes
And bring me my favourite books
If there is a school in the heaven
I will tell you my examination score in your dream
Mother, do not cry. Natural and man-made disasters are our tribulations
Which your delicate body is unable to block
So long as, Mother, you are also living
It is Heaven’s blessings on us
Because of you, at each All Souls, a new layer of soil will be added to our little graves

May is almost over

Hard to believe but May 2008 is almost over. I've left my job for more than a season already.

And the euphoria of not being held back by the unreasonable demands of a job still invigorates me tremendously.

Freedom Air... it's something I wish I would never have to give up!

The Worst of Best Denki

Was at the Vivocity Best Denki last Sunday with my mum to a telephone set.

The service in Best was the worst I had ever experienced in the whole wide world. Not only were the sales people extremely unhelpful and unwilling to help, they even treat their customers as transparent.

After getting their attention by tapping my hand on the table, a salesguy with eye bags the size of Texas came up and asked, "What you want?" in a rude enough tone that one would have loved to put a hole in his face.

In all, the service was so poor and his attitude was so bad, his product knowledge was so lacking that I told my mum that our business was too little for Best. We weren't buying already.

On our way out of the store, I changed my mind and we went to complain to the useless Japanese manager of the store.

I won't waste precious health points recalling the pathetic experience. But I hope they close down soon.

Failure is not an option

Of course it isn't an option, you dodo.

For some folks, failure is mandatory. It cannot be so if it were an option!

Why is it always money money money?

Why do we always give or get asked to donate money during disasters and crises?

Why not send school kids who need to chalk up community involvement hours for points over? We could give them a 10X multiplier bonus for going to ground zero.

Maybe this would help some no-hopers get an opportunity to at least submit a university application, since universities now (pretend to) look at applicants' holistic achivements.

I can just imagine the application essay:

I was a volunteer at Ground Zero of the Pacific Ocean Sea Bed earthquake which sent tsunamis to all sides of the Pacific, drowning all the coastal cities that ringed the ocean. I was bopping up and down the ocean trying to find survivors. I had to fish for squid and fish to keep myself alive. After it was decided that there were no human survivors of the quake in the ocean, I returned home. In recognition of my efforts, I have a million, billion, trillion, gazillion CIP points. I know the esteemed university gives great emphasis to applicants outside of their academic achievements and in this regard, dedicates 5% of the entry score to personal achievements in other areas. I hope my million, billion, trillion, gazillion CIP points will help in my application.

Although I am an average student in school (GPA 1.00), I am an all-rounder in other fields such as partying, boozing, puking, dancing, singing, bitching, volunteering, doing CIP... etc etc etc... I hope you could consider my application most favourably. I hope to hear from you soon.

David Cook Wins American Idol

I am heartbroken since my cutie Archuleta didn't win. Sigh...

Apparently, Cook has a staunch supporter of gays and bootlovers. Hm...

If only...

Singapore planted a flag or erected some functionally useless fences on the Middle Rocks and South Ledge. Perhaps we would be granted sovereignty of that as well.

Oh, well. Perhaps not. Pirates would cut those fences and sell to the scrap yard for money.

Li Bai's Prediction

Somehow, I have the nagging feeling that the poem is fake. To be honest, I put that up despite not being able to corroborate that the poem actually exists.

Well, for the fun of it. I won't be held responsible for this, whether or not it is geunine.

True, however, was my giddiness which started three days before the actual Sichuan earthquake. And after the quake, I began to feel better.

I wonder why I am not that accurate about striking lottery for myself.

I mean, if I said, Al, Fraser, I have this weird feeling. I think you're going to win US$20 million this weekend. I wonder if Al and/or Fraser would go out and buy a ticket just for the fun of it because they read this. And I wonder what would happen if they really struck the lottery as I foretold.

I bet if Al and/or Fraser did buy and won, my blog would explode. I bet then that everyone would want me to name them for striking lottery...

China's Nostradamus - Poet Li Bai

1.25 snow disaster = disaster of the heavens
3.14 Tibetan independence = man-made disaster
5.12 earthquake = disaster of the lands

1+2+5=8
3+1+4=8
5+1+2=8

The Olympic Games 08.08.08 are away from for 88 days.

When it happened is a afternoon 2.18 point .8 suffix.
What happened is a 7.8 magnitude of earthquake .8 suffixes.

China has the superstition that 8 is a propitious digit. Actually when one reviews history, most inauspicious matters are related to the digit 8.

We thought frequently 8 means "prosperous" (or a direct translation means good tidings occur). However, what "tidings" have really occurred?

A Li Bai's actually foretold the happening in a poem he wrote:
The first words of the 4 verses read: Beijing Olympic Games
whereas the last words of the corresponding lines read: Sichuan earthquake.

- Bad English courtesy of BabelFish; decision to use the bad English is mine.

中国的诺斯特拉达姆士（Nostradamus)

1.25 雪灾=天灾
3.14 藏独=人祸
5.12 地震=地灾
1+2+5=8
3+1+4=8
5+1+2=8

奥运会 08.08.08 距离88天。

事发时间是下午2点18分，8后缀。
发的是7.8级地震，8后缀。
中国有迷信传统，说8是吉祥数字。
其实回顾历史，很多事情都和8有关，而且是不好的。
我们常常认为8是"发"，反问下，到底"发"出来的是什么。

李白的一首诗

北幕苍山兰州四，
京无落下缀清川；
奥年叶落缘分地，
运水微漾人却震。

李白早知道【北京奥运，四川地震】。

Now the wiser...

Snafu, tarfu, toufu. Fido, dido, libido. Bleh!

FIDO - Forget It-Drive On
FUBAR - Fucked Up Beyond All Repair/Recognition
FUBB - Fucked Up Beyond Belief
FUMTU - Fucked Up More Than Usual
JANFU - Joint Army-Navy Fuck Up
TARFU - Things Are Really Fucked Up
SNAFU - Situation Normal: All Fucked Up
FUBAB - Fucked Up Beyond All Belief

Tough Love

A new cliche I learned:

I tenderly and lovingly smother each script liberally with X O sauce.

Doesn't it sound like I'm really ready for my own cooking show?

Deja Vu

The set of Vectors lecture notes sat on my table. I flipped through it nonchalantly.

It'll be the second time this year I'm running the full Vectors package to another class.

I guess that's part and parcel of teaching. But while teachers teach the same topics around the same time when they are teaching the same level and stream, I straddle across two different levels of students offering different syllabi for their national examinations.

But one good thing has come out of this: Because I don't teach the same topic ad nauseam over a short period of time, I guess I'll have more enthusiasm.

Call me bitchy...

Interestingly, there was too much bee hoon (rice noodles) compared to laksa gravy at the promotion treat today. Hard to eat plain, dry rice noodles without the gravy!

And there was really not quite enough food. For instance, the yam ring ran out before most of us managed to get any.

But as the vice principal said, "We thank Lord for providing the feast we are going to have despite the global shortage of food yadah yadah yadah." So, apparently, we should be happy that there is food at all. However...

Eh, I think the 20 promotees paid for the meal lah!

Lemon balm tea

The lemon balm leaves make an excellent infusion when you steep them in hot water. I got flavoured water which tasted like lemon grass tea.

I now can make lots of it for drinking. To think it costs $2 or more per glass outside! And what you usually get is a coyingly sweet drink with just that hint of lemon grass. Now I can have it often and cheaply and best of all, without the sugar.

My herb garden is indeed an excellent decision!

Taking ownership

I "lost" my temper at a bunch of students today. They were part of a history making class where everyone failed math.

I was not so much perturbed by their failure but by their poor attitude, irresponsibility and denial.

Made them write a reflection today. Most were self-critical and honest about what went wrong. A few finally came to terms with what and who they really are. I have no idea how long this sense of urgency would last.

There were still some who chose to hide behind the fact that they had failed math ever since Secondary 1 and they were not confident of the subject. Yet, they failed to come to terms with their difficulties and get their hands dirty when I asked them to try.

Ostriches. That's what they are. Unless they are willing to enter the trenches and get low down and dirty, learning will never take place.

One can't mine a diamond without getting into a hell hole and getting dirty. I wonder when they will understand this simple theory.

真正的英雄是能够为自己的心做主的人。

这样的一种由自己的心智而决定的人生会给我们每个人开拓出不同的境界。这是什么，这就是生命的觉悟。觉悟这个词是一个佛家用语。大家可以看一看觉悟这两个字的写法很有意思。觉是下面有一个见字。悟是什么？竖心一个吾。也就是说，悟其实是我们的心。觉悟，用我们今天的话说是看见我的心。这种觉悟我们问问自己，终其一生有几个人看见了自己的心。你可以了解真个世界，你可以了解他人。这个世界太难了解就是看见我的心，这才是觉悟。而觉悟在佛家禅宗的开悟中，被描述为两个阶段。觉是一个阶段。比如说你听了某种知识，有一个人跟你说了一句话。所谓醍醐灌顶，突然之间眼界通透，这叫有所觉。但是你长长的一生的修为，遇到任何一个事情做反观内心，去考虑突然之间又明白一点什么。这个长长的感受和如何参化的过程叫做悟。也就是说觉是一个瞬间，悟是一个过程。把所有点的瞬间与长长一生的感受结合起来，你所到达的就是终于看见我的心。这是人生的大觉悟。

于丹心语

Did We Get It Wrong?

She had to pass her N level examinations before she could be promoted to Secondary 5 to complete her O level examinations. Or, with the N level passes, she could have gone over to the Institute of Technical Education, where she could get some form of "tertiary" education. In any case, she had completed her 10 years of mandatory education, stipluated by Singapore law.

Yet, since she had decided to attend Secondary 5, an almost inordinately tough additional year to obtain her O level certificate. One of the reasons for the difficulty is in the difference between the syllabi to be tested at the two years. Another reason, which might or might not be true, is that while the O level certificate has international recognition, the N level certificate has none.

What's my point?

I was invigilating a paper where this student placed her head on her table and dozed off less than 30 minutes into a 75 minutes Physics paper. She was not alone sleeping in the middle of the paper.

Being a responsible invigilator, I went round waking people up. There was no way the 75 minute paper is going to be completed in 30 minutes. I couldn't even do it myself. And when I tried waking this thing up, she lost her temper and threw a tantrum.

I begin to wonder if we have gotten it wrong. If so, what went wrong? And finally, what are we going to do about it?