Finally, a Haven for Ugly Women

Calling your wife ugly to humiliate her may soon be considered an offence under proposed amendments to the Domestic Violence Act 1994. [...]

I wish their plastic surgeons well.

National Education Quiz 2: 2000s: Decade of Singaporean Women

Looks like Singaporean women are making news headlines for this decade. The list below consists of women worthy of 'honourable mention'. Can you name the women involved?

1. SARS super spreader [more info]

2. first to be killed in a terror attack [info]

3. first female minister [info]

4. first NGO group whose spat awakened the social consciousness of Singaporeans [info]

5. world's pioneer feminist mentor [info]

6. first team to make succesful Everest summit in first attempt [info]

7. first Swine flu patient [info]

Rubbish Rushes in to Fill a Vacuum

Lost Generation by Jonathan Reed

I am part of a lost generation
and I refuse to believe that
I can change the world
I realize this may be a shock but
“Happiness comes from within.”
is a lie, and
“Money will make me happy.”
So in 30 years I will tell my children
they are not the most important thing in my life
My employer will know that
I have my priorities straight because
work
is more important than
family
I tell you this
Once upon a time
Families stayed together
but this will not be true in my era
This is a quick fix society
Experts tell me
30 years from now, I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce
I do not concede that
I will live in a country of my own making
In the future
Environmental destruction will be the norm
No longer can it be said that
My peers and I care about this earth
It will be evident that
My generation is apathetic and lethargic
It is foolish to presume that
There is hope.

And all of this will come true unless we choose to reverse it .

Read the message, then read it again in reverse.

Which generation do you belong in?

---@---@---

Guess what? As I arrived at work, I saw the lost generation. The latecomers, the stragglers, the lost souls, the headless ghosts, the useless bums, the lazy bones... And there were all made to stand outside the office while the rest went through the passage.

Me? I am part of a lost generation. I will tell you that money will make me happy. More money will make me more happy. Ok, bad English. Still, you get the point.

Happiness comes from within. It can't come from anywhere else. I don't laugh or gloat at others' misery. But having money can make me happy.

I am part of a lost generation. Despite me telling my employers that they are not the most important things in my life, I can't stop working. Because I need money. Remember, money will make me happy.

My family is more important than my work. But they will have to take a back seat. Don't forget, money will make me happy. And money makes them happy too.

I don't believe in spending money to be divorced in 30 years. I can't afford that. So I won't marry and won't have children. This way, my money is all for I, me and myself. And money will make me happy.

Environmental destruction is part of nature. Global warming has to do with the less than perfectly circular orbit of the earth. The hell I care about spending any of my hard earned money on environmentally friendly nonsense. Why should I pay others money and make them happy? I should amass my wealth. After all, money will make me happy. Perhaps I should want to be buried in a dollar bill mache coffin. To be buried in money will make me happy.

I am not apathetic and lethargic; watch my energy levels as I throw myself at money. I already know there is no hope (for the hopeless others). Might as well now work towards getting them to bequeath me their money...

All together now: Money will make me happy.

True Talent

Just had the time to watch a few of Susan Boyle's youtube video. Then I suddenly realise Josh Groban and her both have caterpillar brows. Of course, that didn't matter.

Susan is really a talented singer. Unfortunately, the overemphasis on looks probably meant that fame eluded her for what she looked like, not what she was able to do.

I believe the same would happen to Greg Pritchard. He's a counter-tenor (or a male soprano).

Still, I think either Susan or Greg can ask a particular someone to eat her heart out. Salah Blightman. Oops, I meant Sarah Brightman.

Hitting Out at the Bus Company

I am a regular commuter on City Hopper 579, one of your supposedly premium services, which you charge an arm and a leg for. I often take the bus often in the afternoons on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. As a premium service, SBS Transit has been able to provide commuters with fixed arrival timings when the bus arrives at specified bus stops. Therefore, despite the much higher charges, I prefer taking 579 from town to Simei MRT, on which I am guaranteed minimal waiting time, convenience and comfort. Having a guaranteed seat on 579 surely beats having to stand all the way from City Hall to Simei on the MRT train.

However, there is nothing premium about this service. One of the biggest drawback of taking 579 is the lack of punctuality in the arrival times (compared to other premium buses like 502, 518, and 578, which also call at the same bus stop). The deviation from the published timing is getting so out of hand that I am compelled to write this feedback.

The deterioration of the punctuality of the service has been gradual but visible. About half a year ago, service 579 often called at the bus stop within 5 minutes of the scheduled arrival times, in the recent two months, the erratic arrival times have been so bad that I now question myself if it is at all sensible to pay $3.10 to take this trip.

Today, for instance, the 1611 h bus arrived at 1630 h. Even though your website suggested that to passengers to "be at the bus stop 5 minutes earlier," past experience of seeing service 579 arrive up to as many as 10 minutes before the scheduled time has taught me a lesson to make my way to the bus stop earlier- I missed that bus because it came way too early. Since then, I made it a point to wait at the bus stop 10 minutes before the scheduled time. Still, there are buses which arrive 7 minutes or so early.

Think about it: If I arrive at the bus stop 10 minutes earlier than the scheduled bus arrival time and I have to wait 20 minutes for the bus because it was late, what SENSE does it make for the commuter who has to wait 30 minutes - despite a clearly stated arrival time for the service - for a 30 minute bus ride from Bras Basah to Simei? A comparable MRT trip would have taken less than the time of either the waiting or the bus trip!

You may also wish to note that only the service levels of bus 579 is way below those of your other premium services such as 518, 578 and 502, and most of your regular services. I know this, because I have been frustrated enough to monitor their arrival times against your prescribed timing for the past months to build my case for my feedback. I am very interested to know why this is, and why SBS transit has allowed it, to be so.

Please do not give me stock replies about road and traffic conditions. Except for extenuating circumstances, such conditions do not vary excessively day to day. Furthermore, the bus spends a good amount of its journey on the expressways, which are almost never congested at the afternoon portions of the day. What I see is simply poor management and oversight by your supervisory staff. Ask your staff why other services can be prompt but 579 can't be.

Do not tell me to use IRIS. The hallmark of a world class bus service is its punctuality. Why do I have to pay money to find out if your buses are going to underperform YET AGAIN? If SBS Transit is able to deliver the goods, people would not even need to rely on IRIS. Many countries I visit do not even have IRIS: What they have a cheap bus services with high frequencies.

Perhaps one incentive for your treasured customers like myself and one way of keeping your company in our good books is to give free rides to passengers if the scheduled premium bus service is more than 5 minutes late. After all, premium services command a price because of their high service levels and should the service fall short, suitable compensation should be made. I certainly don't pay Singapore Airline fares to be treated like a budget airline customer. If you aspire to be a world class transport company, then take a leaf out of SIA's books. If SIA, our truly world class air transport company, were late, they would have served sandwiches and drinks and their front line staff would have been profuse with apologies.

The last thing I need is wait 30 minutes for a bus with already such a low operating frequency and yet cannot keep to its announced arrival time, be faced with a tailgating bus driver who could not see the passenger trying to flag down the bus at the bus stop until it is nearly too late and drive badly, braking too hard because he was tailgating (yet again). Does SBS Transit not assign your better drivers to drive premium services?

Or am I mistaken about 579 being a premium service at all?

Relief Duties

Had to stand in for a colleague today for a particular time slot.

But, as luck would have it, the note requesting my assistance carried the wrong time slot.

Received a call nearing the end of the correct time period questioning me why I wasn't in class during my supposed time slot. Then I reminded and then shown the folks why I wasn't in class. So, case closed.

Honestly, I may hate doing relief duties but I won't skive or shirk from such duties. Still, I wish all other relief duties were like this one.

Broken Bow(l)

Well, the title was really a pun on one of my favourite songs, "Broken Vow," by David Foster and Josh Groban.

But broken bowl caused me some grief, indeed, last night.

I had steamed rice in a stoneware bowl in a Chinese wok. When I was about to serve dinner, I tried to retrieve the bowl with a pair of calipers typically used by restaurants to take out hot crockery from ovens or steamers. So as I crimped the calipers on the side and tried to remove the bowl out of the wok, the bowl broke.

I am not sure if the bowl slipped, hit against the wok and broke, or if the bowl fractured, slipped and hit against the wok. However, not that it might matter that much. The combined weight of the bowl and the rice and the resulting force caused by the dropping of the bown of rice tipped the contents of the wok - hot water - right down my thighs and the top of my feet. I had just turned the fire off from steaming the rice some 20 minutes before, so the heat was pretty high still.

I dropped everything, went straight to the bathroom and hosed scalded trotters under running water.

A while later, I re-emerged and cleaned up the mess. The broken pieces were picked up and thrown away, the rice tossed into the bin and I clean the floor for stoneware fragments. There were extremely sharp shrapnel, which I managed to pick up.

Right after, I slathered my burnt legs and feet with some cream and had dinner.

Despite the pain last night, I believe the burns were mostly first degree. By this morning, most of the pain is gone and I'm back.

What an evening!

Ahini and Mongoloids

It's a chore calling it Influenza A (H1N1). I think calling it Ahini is easier. Anyway, the critical information is not lost while rewriting it as a word in Tahiti. (Ok, I jest.)

Anyway, I wonder if Ahini spreads more easily among those with a significant amount of mongoloid genes. My biology's screwed, so if someone can make better sense of this, feel free to suggest how I can rewrite. But what I mean is this: Look at how the virus is human-hopping in Japan. The Japanese are mostly characterised by their mongoloid slitty eyes. So, if we were to genetically profile all the folks who were infected with Ahini and those who have died after infection, we might really discover a group of people who are more susceptible to Ahini than other groups.

This way, we can selectively vaccinate the more vulnerable group (or, conversely, not vaccinate, if we want to do gene pool cleansing of some sort) and help them stave off the virus.

Just a thought. But with all shots in the dark, is a gene test so hard?

Wounded dignity is a powerful emotion

Of course, such a gem of an observation can only come from the ever-ascerbic and highly (if not already mostest) cynical Probligo.

Before I get an eyeful in my email, this is a compliment, my dear man. Remember, you are only supposed to sit beside me if you have nothing good to say!

Why, Probligo hit the nail right on the head with this astute observation. But feeling the pain of an wounded dignity is where the lesson ends for many people. Few people would bother to heal the dignity and learn how to avoid further injuries. Of course, another way is to develop a callous around one's dignity till one can laugh off any attempts to turn one into the butt of another's joke. "That's seen to say," one has "learlly" got to be impervious to such insults. "In another words," one decides never to learn.

Oh, by the way, I thought OKE would have added to the list and admonish me for missing out the still infamous "That's seen to say" from my earlier entry. But no, he asked me a question, which, together with Probligo's observation, inspired this entry.

What does one do when one's dignity is wounded, especially academically? One improves oneself through (i) identifying where one has gone wrong, (ii) find out what is the correct way of doing things, and (iii) consciously and persistently make adjustments to correct one's errant ways.

So, what does one read to improve one's English? The answer is already given by Probligo. I've a simpler answer: Anything.

Anything written in proper English is good for reading and learning. Even reading something as simple as Winnie the Pooh helps the reader understand how simple sentences can be effective. Reading more advanced books and articles help one understand how to use phrases and sentences effectively to convey complex and complicated ideas.

Reading is a complex activity. It is not just about taking in the words. It is much much more than that. Probligo has pointed out that people should read for grammar, sentence structure and so on. One should also question diction (word choice, word placement, punctuation) and larger issues such as cohesion and coherence. Idea placement can also determine the emphasis of each sentence and tell the readers about the author's intent and perspective. There are so much that one can glean from even a simple piece of writing.

One common reply I used to get as a bureaucrat is "Ministry X has no objections." When we first write an email to Ministry X, we often ask for their input and often, if they are agreeable with the position that has been set out. One should ask why Ministry X replies with "no objections" rather than "is agreeable" or "supports" etc. Why is it "no objections?"

When we write, why do we choose to front certain ideas while downplaying other ideas? Think of the effects when we write

Singapore's economy shrank 15% in Q1 2009. The figures are smaller than what analysts have predicted, suggesting that the economic downturn may have bottomed out.

vs

Singapore's economy may have bottomed out. Official figures point to a 15% contraction, out-performing the predictions by market watchers and analysts.

While the content is largely similar, writing the first way will shock many people because 15% seems significant. But when you frame it in the second way, people will see 15% as being not as severe. So when you read, you have lots of questions to ask yourself.

By and large, what the Singapore education system needs to incorporate at A levels is to introduce critical reading as a skill. Critical reading has to be explicitly taught. As we are not native EL speakers, we do not get the finer points in writing. Nuances are lost on many of us. We need to learn why people write in certain ways and therefore pick up those writing skills too. That way, we improve our writing.

And no, Probligo. I can't teach 8 to 10 year olds. I'll die before I finish a class. Those mistakes were made by 13 year olds. And I have no intention of ever going back to teaching secondary school English ever again. I'm traumatized enough already.

Singapore Women Did It

Just so you are aware, they managed to do what Josie Lau and gang failed. A group of three Singapore women became the first women from Singapore to reach Everest's summit. Poor Josie and co were unceremoniously yanked off the queer, crooked, treacherous slopes of Mount Awarest while Thio Su Mien added more wind, ice and nothing nice to the slopes.

Looking at their success, it seems like the women have had better luck than the men. The first detachment reached the top in what looked like glorious weather. And the news-woman last night was still saying that they were "somewhat disappointed that the view was not as good as they had expected." Eh, at 8 848m, what were you expecting? Prada shops or a spa?

Oh, but I got ahead of myself - there is indeed an ice spa up there. You fall off the cliffs and then you get frozen in the permafrost up there. You will be an exhibit up the Mount Everest Museum of Eternity as long as the ice doesn't melt.

So exciting, right? Now the second detachment will be making the attempt tomorrow. Let's wish them the best. Maybe some people should go climb Everest too. Then she can come back and say, "I am an Everest mentor. I have reached Everest's summit; what is AWARE?"

Ok, time to shut up and sit down, relack one corner...

Swing Votes and Lea Salonga

While watching American Idol last night, I could not help but wonder if Adam Lambert was really going to win it. I'd be terribly disappointed if he did. Yeah, he was the consummate show man but he would have made it big in Broadway or the West End, with or without Idol.

And it as he was belting out yet another song, with his fat tongue covering most of his face, I realised who he resembled. I finally put my finger on the artiste. Filipino musico-drama-mama Lea Salonga! Adam Lambert is the male version of Lea Salonga. If you don't believe me, just you wait. When one day Lambert cross dresses and takes on the role of Kim in Miss Saigon, tell me if you know the difference.

Of course, when Danny Gokey was kicked out last week, I was pretty disappointed. But as the news folks predicted, the votes swung to Chris Allen. And rightly so. I also agree with the folks on why Simon hadn't been as harsh on drama-tics this time around. I always thought he was not so much into showmanship and over-the-top antics but he seemed really tolerant of Adam Lambert this time around. I wonder why.

And, oh yeah. Did you realise new lines on Ryan Seacrest's face? Man, that guy aged, didn't he? Was it so darn long already?

What's wrong?

Another exam season and another big hullalaboo about teachers posting students' bloopers on the teachers' webpages for public entertainment. What's wrong with this, as long as the teacher does not single out the student? After all, these are the usual bloopers we see year in year out. And didn't we most enjoy the NG sequences at the end of each movie? Why do we have double standards here?

I mean, anyone could have written "My grandmother was diagnosed with cologne cancer." And what's wrong with that? A spelling mistake is a spelling mistake. Some of these boo-boos actually become actual materials, which are used for teaching future teachers.

Some times, how you speak is how you write. That's why apart from small eyes and a flat nose, a man can have a "pork belly". If anything at all, teachers can reflect if they had been unclear or sloppy in speech. After all, many students spell by approximating perceived sounds. This is especially evident in how a student tried to learn how to "trap water."

Some times, the students themselves are at fault. That was also why for the longest time when I was teaching English, I had compositions that went, "Human beans are...," despite my constant reminding that it is "beings." Some students simply take a much longer time to learn, I guess.

And my then-principal, who speaks with a perceptible lisp since she had come from a foreign land, gave me even more grief when her "in another words" got repeated ad naseum in my students' writing, as they "learly" (another one of her mispronunciations) thought what she said was right. It took me long battles and many bouts of unofficial speech belittling to get the students back on track.

I still remember one particularly dense student who kept writing Emerald Teo for Admiral Teo because that particular cohort of kids was doing The Wizard of Oz for literature. She simply could not tell the difference between the rank and the rock. So homonyms often become a source of jokes in themselves. How else can you explain how one can get "cologne cancer"? Ok, granted that using too much artificial fragrances could land you in such trouble, but unless you are one of those super-duper well to do rich tai tais whose main aim is to outsmell the roses, how can anyone be so bedevilled?

Idiosyncratic phrasal verbs are another area where mistakes can be plentiful. The unknowing child could easily end up writing "night has fallen and the lamp posts are turned on..." Linguistic nuances are often lost on non-native speakers. This is similar to how the oddity of "is" vs "have" in French: "Je suis chaud" (literally: I am hot) and "j'ai chaud" (I have hot) respectively mean "I am horny" and "I am hot" in French.

Man, why wouldn't people face it that the best way to learn is to make the mistake, face the ignominy of it and put in the effort to correct it?

Singapore Women Climb Everest with Phones!

On Female Equality and a Response to The Probligo

I have this thought: If there weren't that many free women (probably from not having to work because their husbands bring home the bread, bacon and cheese!) around, there wouldn't be a feminist movement. With most things in the world, it is the mind of an idle person who can think of all the nonsense. Of course, I am most likely wrong and I shouldn't have digressed but I am glad I did.

If I ask around today, I might be able to get a good number of people to agree that feminism is now becoming a dirty word. I have no doubts that the feminist movement started out with a noble aim - fighting for equality for women - but one suspects the feminist cause to be perverted by radical women pushing for hardcore femini-jihadism these days. I don't think such firebrand feminists have many supporters or sympathisers - this could explain why Dr Thio Su Mien did not get the support she had expected from the women despite playing the gender card. Thus, such extremists probably exist and operate covertly.

Equality for women should be the expected default position in any society. In a meritocractic society especially, an woman and a man with equal qualities should be viewed, appraised and rewarded equally. Unfortunately, equality is an ideal and with all ideals, they are elusive and largely unachievable.

I am not arguing that we should let the imbalance or inequality continue but unless something can be done about the innate qualities of the two sexes, there is little to argue here. For one, men can't bear children. Trust me, if men could, many of them probably wouldn't want wives.

Where I come from, the laws are vehemently anti-men. Get a divorce under the Women's Charter and see what happens to the man. The Women's Charter might as well be called the anti-Men Charter. If women and men are indeed placed on equal footing, then why is it that women (notice I do not call them the fairer sex) are still hiding behind the charter? Our female population is better educated than the male population!

Our laws are highly punitive of men who beat their wives. The irony is, the number of women involved in spousal battery and abuse is now catching up. So, why haven't the laws changed? We still can't hang female murderers, kidnappers and drug smugglers. Why the special treatment? Are women less vicious when they kill?

Pregnancy-based discrimination could be rife in the past but to try to engage in that now could bring about dire consequences for the company. No doubt, credit goes to the feminist movement. Equal credit should go to the company who is able to tolerate such nonsense. What happens when the pregnant woman go on maternity leave? Who takes over the work and gets it done? Either the men or other women. So why shouldn't the men or other non-childbearing women be paid more? If that is the case, then where is the equality? Men also want to have their own babies and go on 6 months' worth of maternity leave! At least I know I would want to. But can I?

For crying out loud, I can't even adopt a child because I am a man. And what makes the law think that "mothering" instincts come (more) naturally to women? Some women I know of shouldn't even have uteruses, much less kids!

I believe Singapore women have shown great restraint and maturity in not falling for the feminist mentor's rubbish. I believe Singapore workers - men and women - know the limitations of each sex and have found some form of tolerable balance so that both sexes can coexist without much trouble.

I should think that for many people, gone are the days of the bra-burning feminists, just like the Communists (in Singapore). I am all for supporting female equality but if any woman tries to play the feminist card and gets whiplashed because of her radical ideas, then I have no sympathy for her.

For a start, if we were to review most of the existing systems to give women an equal footing, there is no guarantee that the women are not going to lose more than they gain. A smart feminist would therefore be well-served to count her spoils and blessings instead undermining the efforts of the earlier "suffragettes" (Dictionary.com tsk-tsked me and said I should use "suffragist" as the term suffragette is often considered demeaning) and "equalists" through crowing and scratching senselessly.

Mentors

Everyone wants to be a mentor these days. Must be because we have one in the cabinet. To tell the truth, my eyes nearly popped out when I saw this old woman claiming that she's a feminist mentor. Then as I eyed her picture more closely, I wonder what she was talking about or if she knew what she was talking about.

What is, by her definition, a feminist? Is a feminist liberated? If so, why wear any bras? Burn them. Or is a feminist someone stuck in the past? Where, then, is her Victorian corset? Or is a feminist someone who should behave in a female kind of way by virtue of her gender? Oh, but then her place would be the kitchen, where she slogs over her pots and pots of curries to serve tok panjang to her guests. Or is a feminist someone who simply stands out and say "I'm a feminist" and becomes one?

What is feminism all about? What does feminism claim to do for the women? To the radical feminists, is God man or woman? Why not take on the Vatican and insist on a Popess or some sacred feminine? Is feminism about women thumbing down women? The Devil Wears Prada comes to mind where we see how women take on and take down other women to make top bitch. Or is feminism about a prescriptive set of rules dictating what a woman should or should not do? Perhaps women should really start dressing like women. Why didn't Thio Su Mien raise a ruckus at Hong Lim Park over the S Factor? Shouldn't she take offence at almost everything, if not everything, in the show? Where is she in defending the prostitutes in Singapore?

What makes her worthy of being called a mentor? Is it because she was the first female law dean and was "on page 73"? What does she mentor? Just because she goes around "teaching" and hears some confused voices, is that sufficient for her to conclude that the state of affairs are in a mess? What women want is their business. They can be lesbians or unwed mothers or multi-abortionists. Who the hell cares? Who is anyone to impose their values and standards on others? You are not them, so how do you know what has happened to them or why they are in the job they are doing?

I cannot help but wonder if being a mentor is so glamourous that people clamour for it. Maybe I should be a mentor too...

Welcome to Singapore

I'm sure some of us are waiting with open arms to have Mas Selamat back in our jails. I'm sure some people would have rolled out the red carpet when his convoy arrives. Alas, it's too late to save their careers?

Mas, Selamat Datang Ke Singapura. Balik rumah, bagus eh?
(Mas, welcome to Singapore. Good to come home, no?)

But, honestly, the Mas Flu fatigue has set in. I hardly saw any enthusiasm today about his capture. No one even cares. Have we become complacent or apathetic? Perhaps both.

Perhaps the peacetime (A)war(E) at Suntec is more exciting that capturing an almost impotent terrorist...

Table Tennis and Pocket Billiards

Are times and ties so bad that the former table tennis coached who guided the Singapore paddlers to an Olympic silver last August can't be given a Coach of the Year award although he is now serving elsewhere?

Bring out your magnanimity and your sense of meritocracy. If the guy has done good, he deserves to be duly rewarded. Or do the folks deciding on the nominations and awards have minds as small as the table tennis table (as compared to the real life sized tennis courts)?

Oh, why am I writing all these? The holier-than-thou will always feel they are on their moral high grounds and look down at and on others who are different from them.

I should just shut up and sit down. And while I relax in my corner, perhaps I shall play some...

Famous Singaporean Female Words...

National Education Quiz
Which infamous Singaporean woman said that?

Level 1 (Basic)

1. Shut up and sit down.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Get out of my elite uncaring face.

Level 2 (Intermediate)

4. I know nothing about this press conference.

5. The Old Guard has had their field day giving the media stories upon stories and info which are totally and utterly inaccurate, so this is our chance to talk to the media.

Level 3 (Advanced)

6. Respect is earned.

End





Check your answers:

(1) AWARE ex-Honorary Treasurer Sally Ang
(2) AWARE ex-Feminist Mentor Dr Thio Su Mien
(3) Wee Shu Min
(4) AWARE ex-Assistant Honarary Treasuere Chew I-Jin
(5) AWARE ex-President Josie Lau
(6) AWARE member's identity not known.

How did you fare?

More than 3 correct - Good job (in being part of the grapevine)
Less than 3 correct - Good job (staying out of the gossip)

Bathos

A spanner in their friendship... Who would have thought!

Twas a...

The pesky flu was bearable. It did not cause me much grief and I was producing chlorophyll tablets each morning.

Then I decided enough was enough and I went to see my doctor this morning.

He called it a low grade infection. It is hard to clear up and tremendously pesky. I'm on antibiotics again.