Commonsense prevailed.
Sanity prevailed.
Congress voted off the US$700 billion salvation package.
Those who lived within their means are saved.
Now watch the greedy ones.
Muahahaha.....
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
"I'm here so that, hopefully, I can have a good tea"
A friend was "invited" to attend a timeshare presentation. He was enticed with lots of gifts, such as free hotel stay, online vouchers, and cruises, for attending the session. I tagged along because I really want to update myself on the cupidicious behaviour of these marketeers, or if you would indulge me, profiteering chalatans.
(Another reason was the fact that I needed to vent after having marked Assignment One and knowing that Assignment Two was coming in on Monday. But this was not the main reason.)
At the door, my friend was asked to register and I had to be registered as well. I pulled my friend aside and told him to report his salary as half of what he was receiving now. I had asked him to go for the lowest option but he thought it was not realistic.
For me, I wrote "unemployed" for my occupation and was dressed for my role. He then submitted the form.
Then I told my friend that I had prepared my speech in case the con asked me what I was there for.
"You see, I'm unemployed. Since my friend was invited here for a presentation at this time, I hope that if I'm here, hopefully, I can have a good tea."
My friend, of course, nearly flipped when he heard this. Then he asked me to go easy and not say anything if we were invited to the presentation.
In less than 3 minutes after the form was submitted, the receptionist called him and handed him the vouchers for the gifts, with the message that we did not have to sit through the presentation as the con-sultant was very busy.
See? We portray ourselves as paupers and we got off with the gifts without any time wasted. They must be kicking themselves for not doing their market survey properly.
Me? Have you heard the maniacal laughter of a genius in the lift down from the penthouse of the Rolex Building to the ground floor? Priceless!
(Another reason was the fact that I needed to vent after having marked Assignment One and knowing that Assignment Two was coming in on Monday. But this was not the main reason.)
At the door, my friend was asked to register and I had to be registered as well. I pulled my friend aside and told him to report his salary as half of what he was receiving now. I had asked him to go for the lowest option but he thought it was not realistic.
For me, I wrote "unemployed" for my occupation and was dressed for my role. He then submitted the form.
Then I told my friend that I had prepared my speech in case the con asked me what I was there for.
"You see, I'm unemployed. Since my friend was invited here for a presentation at this time, I hope that if I'm here, hopefully, I can have a good tea."
My friend, of course, nearly flipped when he heard this. Then he asked me to go easy and not say anything if we were invited to the presentation.
In less than 3 minutes after the form was submitted, the receptionist called him and handed him the vouchers for the gifts, with the message that we did not have to sit through the presentation as the con-sultant was very busy.
See? We portray ourselves as paupers and we got off with the gifts without any time wasted. They must be kicking themselves for not doing their market survey properly.
Me? Have you heard the maniacal laughter of a genius in the lift down from the penthouse of the Rolex Building to the ground floor? Priceless!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Overcrowded Buffet
Went to a buffet last Saturday. Ok, I know this is dated but you can see that I've given it a long enough cool-down time so that I do not seem writing like a ranting lunatic.
The buffet was handling more diners than its only chef can manage. At no time were all the trays filled and more often than not, when a new tray of food came out, you'd better be hawk-eyed and home in on the tray because the food will be wiped out by the time the fifth diner in the queue hits the tray. This is no surprise as people who manage to get to the food has to take for their group or the rest would not get any. And given that the food put out was of such small quantities (how could two braised ducks feed 100, for example), there is more certainty that the food would run out!
After a good half-an-hour, I decided to speak with the manager over the unacceptable food situation. I've hardly managed to get anything! I had had to scrape the bottom of the porridge pot to get the porridge trapped in the corners so that I can get anything at all to eat.
The waitress told me the manager does not work evenings. After that, she came back and asked if I had anything to speak with the manager, since I asked to see him. So I told her that the food situation was not ideal. I also asked if the supervisor was around. She said she would get him.
We waited for the supervisor but to no avail. A couple trays of food came and were emptied out even before I manage to reach them. I made many trips to the buffet line, only to be greeted by empty trays. Soon, some soy sauce braised chicken appeared. I was third in line and so I took a number of pieces of chicken with blood oozing out back to the table.
I sliced the pieces and let the blood spill over the plate. Raw chicken is unfit to serve because it poses a salmonella risk. So this time, I called for the bill. When the bill arrived, I said I would pay after I speak with the supervisor.
Over I outlined my unhappiness over the situation to the supervisor; I told him of my other wonderful visits and how that night, they over-stretched themselves. I suggested that they should either turn away walk-ins, since they are already unable to cater to those who are there on group meals, or place a note at the entrance to say that they will be slow in replenishing food (though they hadn't been fast, anyway). I also complained about the "raw" chicken. The supervisor had the cheek to tell me that the raw chicken issue was a perennial one and the chef is aware. He then asked me to tell the chef about the complaint myself.
"This is your admin matter and it is not for the guest to tell the chef!" I retorted. "Anyway, what can you do to make up for the evening?"
"I can give you a discount of 10%."
"What can a discount of 10% do? I hardly got food to eat and I spent almost two hours on a simple 45 minute meal!"
"I can't do anything else. At my level, that's the most I can do. I'll call the chef."
"Please."
The table of 5 beside ours watched intently for sparks and fireworks. They were expecting to see what would happen in the end. But I had guts and gumption. They don't even have half as much brain as one hair on my leg!
Before long, the chef came out and after another round of the same discussion points, the chef went, "So, did the supervisor offer you anything?"
"Yeah. 10%, but what is 10%?" I really questioned the sincerity of the offer.
"So you want me to sign on your bill? I can sign on your bill. You want me to sign on your bill? I can do that..."
"That'll be nice. Thank you."
Knowing that he had erred in his judgement, he stormed off and took care of the bill with us as his "guests".
Moral of story: Having only one chef spoils the entire buffet.
The buffet was handling more diners than its only chef can manage. At no time were all the trays filled and more often than not, when a new tray of food came out, you'd better be hawk-eyed and home in on the tray because the food will be wiped out by the time the fifth diner in the queue hits the tray. This is no surprise as people who manage to get to the food has to take for their group or the rest would not get any. And given that the food put out was of such small quantities (how could two braised ducks feed 100, for example), there is more certainty that the food would run out!
After a good half-an-hour, I decided to speak with the manager over the unacceptable food situation. I've hardly managed to get anything! I had had to scrape the bottom of the porridge pot to get the porridge trapped in the corners so that I can get anything at all to eat.
The waitress told me the manager does not work evenings. After that, she came back and asked if I had anything to speak with the manager, since I asked to see him. So I told her that the food situation was not ideal. I also asked if the supervisor was around. She said she would get him.
We waited for the supervisor but to no avail. A couple trays of food came and were emptied out even before I manage to reach them. I made many trips to the buffet line, only to be greeted by empty trays. Soon, some soy sauce braised chicken appeared. I was third in line and so I took a number of pieces of chicken with blood oozing out back to the table.
I sliced the pieces and let the blood spill over the plate. Raw chicken is unfit to serve because it poses a salmonella risk. So this time, I called for the bill. When the bill arrived, I said I would pay after I speak with the supervisor.
Over I outlined my unhappiness over the situation to the supervisor; I told him of my other wonderful visits and how that night, they over-stretched themselves. I suggested that they should either turn away walk-ins, since they are already unable to cater to those who are there on group meals, or place a note at the entrance to say that they will be slow in replenishing food (though they hadn't been fast, anyway). I also complained about the "raw" chicken. The supervisor had the cheek to tell me that the raw chicken issue was a perennial one and the chef is aware. He then asked me to tell the chef about the complaint myself.
"This is your admin matter and it is not for the guest to tell the chef!" I retorted. "Anyway, what can you do to make up for the evening?"
"I can give you a discount of 10%."
"What can a discount of 10% do? I hardly got food to eat and I spent almost two hours on a simple 45 minute meal!"
"I can't do anything else. At my level, that's the most I can do. I'll call the chef."
"Please."
The table of 5 beside ours watched intently for sparks and fireworks. They were expecting to see what would happen in the end. But I had guts and gumption. They don't even have half as much brain as one hair on my leg!
Before long, the chef came out and after another round of the same discussion points, the chef went, "So, did the supervisor offer you anything?"
"Yeah. 10%, but what is 10%?" I really questioned the sincerity of the offer.
"So you want me to sign on your bill? I can sign on your bill. You want me to sign on your bill? I can do that..."
"That'll be nice. Thank you."
Knowing that he had erred in his judgement, he stormed off and took care of the bill with us as his "guests".
Moral of story: Having only one chef spoils the entire buffet.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Why disasters are good for us
Too often, people are lulled into complacency when things go as planned. People take comfort afforded by the relative calm and, by and large, believe that if nothing is on fire, then everything is fine. Many people go by the adage, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Unknown to many people, things may not be "broke" at the moment but there could be people who are trying to "enhance" the "ain't-ness" by tampering with the products. For each and every expose that shows who the real bad guys are, I am pretty certain that there are many other heinous acts that have gone unnoticed. All too often, to be constantly on our toes to monitor the entire market is untenable because of the massive effort required. However, if we need a shake-up quickly, a disaster may be the best option because of its wide-ranging impact.
Disasters in aviation lead the way in showing how a slip-up can shake up an entire industry. One does not have to look far to realise that the ultimate outcome of aviation disasters was a much safer flying environment for travellers. From zero, investigators learnt about metal fatigue, autopilot limitations, aircraft limitations, pilot training manual mistakes, substitution (of parts) problems, wind shear, bird strikes and so on. Each and every disaster precipitated immediate rounds of aircraft checks and aviation practices reviews. It forces industry players to review and propose new updates, changes, training checks, flight safety improvements and most importantly, renew their respect for human lives in the knowledge that human beings are ultimately at the mercy of the equipment they create. Who would have expected, for one, that the black box on the aircraft is given more protection than the pilot and the passengers?
Similarly, the recent Sichuan Earthquake showed us that Chinese engineers have achieved a world's first in civil engineering - they managed to use "soy pulp" (aka toufu zha) to build houses. The race to trace the history of this practice has led to an ongoing review of the building codes in the region. People are concerned how they could be sold such houses and how public buildings such as schools could also be built in this way with such material. People around the world wonder how such houses are built too. But I am also rather sure that engineers in regions that are immune to earthquakes must also be reviewing their bulding codes - do they really need to reinforce their concrete beams and piles with steel rods since the Chinese have showed that under non-earthquake circumstances, these are not necessary? Some people may be able to get cheaper soy pulp houses in the near future.
People living in the hurricane/typhoon zones and tornado-afflicted areas may especially be interested in these kinds of houses. Imagine, you get soya milk after the disaster. You will be swimming in soya milk! And think of all the benefits that you get from these houses - people get crushed to death by concrete beams and pillars. But do you see or hear of people crushed to death by tofu pulp? No! These people are buried because they added concrete to reinforce their pulp. See? The moral of the story here is not to be too smart!
Talking about additives, the latest melamine additive scandal hit the Chinese dairy market right in the balls, I mean bull's eye. The practice was aimed at "showing" a higher nutritional value of the milk during its decomposition through the emission of more nitrogen, a measure of milk with higher nutritional value. Of course, many of us would have realised that the milk is so nutritious that Chinese, Hong Kong and other babies taking them have ended up with kidney stones. And some of them were so over-nourished, they died. The whole world and China are now looking to check if there are other melamine enhanced milk or related products. Looking back, I do not recall steriods killing that many people, even though WWE wrestler Chris Benoit's death did raise a hue and cry in the North American media. By the way, it was the Chinese media leaking the story of the tainted milk (how I hate the English term; the Chinese call it du-nai, which sounds like tonigh(t)) that led to the expose of this latest scandal; had it not for them, Chinese Dairy apparently would have kept quiet about the entire issue. But how does one add melamine to milk? Imagine melamine is what my chopsticks are made of. How could anyone add that to food? And is it in solid or liquid form? Or did the farmers rub melamine to cow udders to promote milk growth? Or maybe it is injected to make the udders harder so milking can take place more often? Sigh, to quote my favourite "philosopher" from beside Down Under, "I really don't know". Oh, it's the male, not the female, though he has threatened the hanky act too! I wonder what's with the southern hemisphere folks and their handkerchiefs.
Disasters are usually broadcast by the media. In at least one case, I am sure the media has a hand in - the recent Wall Street meltdown. Yes, I blame the media. The media has been guilty of not calling it when they had the ability to. While earning big bucks for themselves is important, the media should blow the whistle when they see the obscene subprime rape. They did not; there was defintely insufficient media expose - isn't that their job - of the issue and I wonder who the guy was who short-sold Lehman until the brothers lost their shirts of their backs. Maybe one day, time (or maybe Time) will tell. I am pretty sure that that story will sell for many bucks. I cannot wait to learn more about the guy who changed Wall Street's landscape. (I am sure many investors are cursing me now, after seeing their investments crash into the proverbial wall! Oh yes, I think some Walls' ice-cream is also being recalled for having used tainted milk.)
As my examples show so far, the world loves a disaster. Diana died - disaster. Mother Theresa died - disaster. Michael Jackson's nose collapsed - disaster. Pope dropped dead - disaster. Hurricane Katrina struck - disaster. 2004 Boxing Day Tsunami - disaster. George Bush got elected for a second term - disaster. Al Gore didn't win - disaster. September 11 - disaster. Sichuan Earthquake - disaster. Hurricane Ike - disaster. Obama wins - disaster. McCain wins - disaster. AIG collapes - disaster. AIG saved - disaster. Marking assignments - disaster. So what's new? What is not a disaster these days?
With the spate of "disasters" now, everything is being checked and rechecked. People are suspicious of everything. You know what is truly a disaster? I received a free - yeah, FREE! - packet of chocolate hazelnut bars in my pigeon hole courtesy of the welfare committee where I work. The first thing I did, I read the packaging from the first word to the last trying to see if the word China appeared anywhere. Or tainted milk. I'd eaten the thing without a second thought in the past.
I think I'll let the rest eat first. If they don't die...
PS. I won't be held responsible for anyone attempting the "Chinese Building Feat - the Soy Pulp Building Method" because it is more an analogy of their concrete being non-reinforced rather than literally being a soy pulp structure. That, would have been a tremendous eye popper!
Disasters in aviation lead the way in showing how a slip-up can shake up an entire industry. One does not have to look far to realise that the ultimate outcome of aviation disasters was a much safer flying environment for travellers. From zero, investigators learnt about metal fatigue, autopilot limitations, aircraft limitations, pilot training manual mistakes, substitution (of parts) problems, wind shear, bird strikes and so on. Each and every disaster precipitated immediate rounds of aircraft checks and aviation practices reviews. It forces industry players to review and propose new updates, changes, training checks, flight safety improvements and most importantly, renew their respect for human lives in the knowledge that human beings are ultimately at the mercy of the equipment they create. Who would have expected, for one, that the black box on the aircraft is given more protection than the pilot and the passengers?
Similarly, the recent Sichuan Earthquake showed us that Chinese engineers have achieved a world's first in civil engineering - they managed to use "soy pulp" (aka toufu zha) to build houses. The race to trace the history of this practice has led to an ongoing review of the building codes in the region. People are concerned how they could be sold such houses and how public buildings such as schools could also be built in this way with such material. People around the world wonder how such houses are built too. But I am also rather sure that engineers in regions that are immune to earthquakes must also be reviewing their bulding codes - do they really need to reinforce their concrete beams and piles with steel rods since the Chinese have showed that under non-earthquake circumstances, these are not necessary? Some people may be able to get cheaper soy pulp houses in the near future.
People living in the hurricane/typhoon zones and tornado-afflicted areas may especially be interested in these kinds of houses. Imagine, you get soya milk after the disaster. You will be swimming in soya milk! And think of all the benefits that you get from these houses - people get crushed to death by concrete beams and pillars. But do you see or hear of people crushed to death by tofu pulp? No! These people are buried because they added concrete to reinforce their pulp. See? The moral of the story here is not to be too smart!
Talking about additives, the latest melamine additive scandal hit the Chinese dairy market right in the balls, I mean bull's eye. The practice was aimed at "showing" a higher nutritional value of the milk during its decomposition through the emission of more nitrogen, a measure of milk with higher nutritional value. Of course, many of us would have realised that the milk is so nutritious that Chinese, Hong Kong and other babies taking them have ended up with kidney stones. And some of them were so over-nourished, they died. The whole world and China are now looking to check if there are other melamine enhanced milk or related products. Looking back, I do not recall steriods killing that many people, even though WWE wrestler Chris Benoit's death did raise a hue and cry in the North American media. By the way, it was the Chinese media leaking the story of the tainted milk (how I hate the English term; the Chinese call it du-nai, which sounds like tonigh(t)) that led to the expose of this latest scandal; had it not for them, Chinese Dairy apparently would have kept quiet about the entire issue. But how does one add melamine to milk? Imagine melamine is what my chopsticks are made of. How could anyone add that to food? And is it in solid or liquid form? Or did the farmers rub melamine to cow udders to promote milk growth? Or maybe it is injected to make the udders harder so milking can take place more often? Sigh, to quote my favourite "philosopher" from beside Down Under, "I really don't know". Oh, it's the male, not the female, though he has threatened the hanky act too! I wonder what's with the southern hemisphere folks and their handkerchiefs.
Disasters are usually broadcast by the media. In at least one case, I am sure the media has a hand in - the recent Wall Street meltdown. Yes, I blame the media. The media has been guilty of not calling it when they had the ability to. While earning big bucks for themselves is important, the media should blow the whistle when they see the obscene subprime rape. They did not; there was defintely insufficient media expose - isn't that their job - of the issue and I wonder who the guy was who short-sold Lehman until the brothers lost their shirts of their backs. Maybe one day, time (or maybe Time) will tell. I am pretty sure that that story will sell for many bucks. I cannot wait to learn more about the guy who changed Wall Street's landscape. (I am sure many investors are cursing me now, after seeing their investments crash into the proverbial wall! Oh yes, I think some Walls' ice-cream is also being recalled for having used tainted milk.)
As my examples show so far, the world loves a disaster. Diana died - disaster. Mother Theresa died - disaster. Michael Jackson's nose collapsed - disaster. Pope dropped dead - disaster. Hurricane Katrina struck - disaster. 2004 Boxing Day Tsunami - disaster. George Bush got elected for a second term - disaster. Al Gore didn't win - disaster. September 11 - disaster. Sichuan Earthquake - disaster. Hurricane Ike - disaster. Obama wins - disaster. McCain wins - disaster. AIG collapes - disaster. AIG saved - disaster. Marking assignments - disaster. So what's new? What is not a disaster these days?
With the spate of "disasters" now, everything is being checked and rechecked. People are suspicious of everything. You know what is truly a disaster? I received a free - yeah, FREE! - packet of chocolate hazelnut bars in my pigeon hole courtesy of the welfare committee where I work. The first thing I did, I read the packaging from the first word to the last trying to see if the word China appeared anywhere. Or tainted milk. I'd eaten the thing without a second thought in the past.
I think I'll let the rest eat first. If they don't die...
PS. I won't be held responsible for anyone attempting the "Chinese Building Feat - the Soy Pulp Building Method" because it is more an analogy of their concrete being non-reinforced rather than literally being a soy pulp structure. That, would have been a tremendous eye popper!
Friday, September 19, 2008
A Truce
The credit card company called yesterday to offer a truce. They would top up my credit line to offset the foreign exchange losses and after that, they will work with the other company on recovering the monies.
I guess it pays to be a bitch.
I guess it pays to be a bitch.
Does everything need an answer?
If this were a rhetorical question, then the answer is obvious. So, in a way, I have answered my own question. But I believe some of you out there will not be too plaeased with me tackling a trivial case.
This is the next intractable problem, following up from my earlier question - what is it that will gain me nirvana (with the exception of endless meditation and hoping that I can cross the seas of temptation etc etc). I know myself well enough that I can't make it. Not that way, at least.
The recent financial fiasco was one of the reasons why I shifted my thought processes a little. One thing that I begin asking is if status quo must be preserved at all costs. If we decide that we cannot allow things to break, then we will forever be rummaging through our toolkits to plug each and every leak. Have we considered that some things are best replaced? (No, I'm not switching to supporting Obama/Biden.)
One common trait that I notice in problem solving these days is the extremely short duration given for a complete solution. Another trait, which is common among certain companies and organisations is the availability of money (as a part of the solution, be it to buy the solution or as the solution itself). As a result, we are plagued with a whole lot of stop-gap measures which, like makeshift tourniquets, staunch the blood loss for the moment but in the long run causes the limb to turn gangrenous. After that, blood poisoning comes along. Instead of accepting amputation as the final solution, the patient asks for blood transfusions to prolong life.
I may be wrong but I am rather certain that people loathe change - except for cars, houses, clothes and sex partners - even if they really need it. There are many reasons why they resist change. Not wanting to be exposed may be right up there at the top of the list. Rightly or wrongly, people are fearful of being exposed. This could be a reason why the Chinese are playing musical chairs with their leaders recently. No one is certain how long s/he is going to stay in that post, so each had better stay out of trouble.
So the Chinese has come up with one solution. The US has also used the solution for the longest time - the US President cannot serve more than two terms. That is why Hillary Clinton is not in the running. Now, I don't know if it is more than two terms in all or more than two terms consecutively, so I am not sure if she could not run again in four years' time. Honestly, she may have a chance if Obama/Biden don't make it this time around. Can't wait to see a Palin/Hillary slug-fest. MeeeeeeoooooW!
So, the result of keeping people on their toes means that people try to cement their positions by concentrating on doing the greatest dog-and-pony show during their term and not care about what and who feeds the dog and the pony. They care even less if there is melamine in the feed.
Problems snowball. The carpet starts to bulge, bones start falling out of closets when their doors are left ajar. Money is used to cover cracks and smoothen the tracks. But before long, the problems achieve critical mass and a reaction occurs. Then what?
Ok, so keeping people on their toes is not going to work. So we keep people in their positions for a long time. Not working either. Once people realise their power post is lifelong tenure, performance goes down. And with permanence comes hanky panky. Not a good solution either.
So, what do we do?
Mother Nature has already shown us the way. We have day and night. We have the four seasons. We have calamities and catastrophes. We have typhoons, cyclones, hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes, tidal waves. For everything else, we have the Bermuda Triangle. In more recent, Mother Nature has invented a new type of human beings called terrorists.
For each cleansing method Mother Nature has invented, there is some problem that we can solve with it. For example, melamine should be used as part of the plastic bomb for terrorists. Hurricanes and cyclones should go to the Middle East and Africa with their water problems while volcanoes should erupt closer to archipelagos to help them gain better inter-island connection. Tidal waves are good after major parties (Times Square New Year Party) and tsunamis are probably good for people who wish to pick fish rather than angle for them.
So, I believe the answers are all there. We've just been getting our questions wrong. Now you have the answer. Does that turn you into a Smartie?
Next time - Does every answer require a question?
This is the next intractable problem, following up from my earlier question - what is it that will gain me nirvana (with the exception of endless meditation and hoping that I can cross the seas of temptation etc etc). I know myself well enough that I can't make it. Not that way, at least.
The recent financial fiasco was one of the reasons why I shifted my thought processes a little. One thing that I begin asking is if status quo must be preserved at all costs. If we decide that we cannot allow things to break, then we will forever be rummaging through our toolkits to plug each and every leak. Have we considered that some things are best replaced? (No, I'm not switching to supporting Obama/Biden.)
One common trait that I notice in problem solving these days is the extremely short duration given for a complete solution. Another trait, which is common among certain companies and organisations is the availability of money (as a part of the solution, be it to buy the solution or as the solution itself). As a result, we are plagued with a whole lot of stop-gap measures which, like makeshift tourniquets, staunch the blood loss for the moment but in the long run causes the limb to turn gangrenous. After that, blood poisoning comes along. Instead of accepting amputation as the final solution, the patient asks for blood transfusions to prolong life.
I may be wrong but I am rather certain that people loathe change - except for cars, houses, clothes and sex partners - even if they really need it. There are many reasons why they resist change. Not wanting to be exposed may be right up there at the top of the list. Rightly or wrongly, people are fearful of being exposed. This could be a reason why the Chinese are playing musical chairs with their leaders recently. No one is certain how long s/he is going to stay in that post, so each had better stay out of trouble.
So the Chinese has come up with one solution. The US has also used the solution for the longest time - the US President cannot serve more than two terms. That is why Hillary Clinton is not in the running. Now, I don't know if it is more than two terms in all or more than two terms consecutively, so I am not sure if she could not run again in four years' time. Honestly, she may have a chance if Obama/Biden don't make it this time around. Can't wait to see a Palin/Hillary slug-fest. MeeeeeeoooooW!
So, the result of keeping people on their toes means that people try to cement their positions by concentrating on doing the greatest dog-and-pony show during their term and not care about what and who feeds the dog and the pony. They care even less if there is melamine in the feed.
Problems snowball. The carpet starts to bulge, bones start falling out of closets when their doors are left ajar. Money is used to cover cracks and smoothen the tracks. But before long, the problems achieve critical mass and a reaction occurs. Then what?
Ok, so keeping people on their toes is not going to work. So we keep people in their positions for a long time. Not working either. Once people realise their power post is lifelong tenure, performance goes down. And with permanence comes hanky panky. Not a good solution either.
So, what do we do?
Mother Nature has already shown us the way. We have day and night. We have the four seasons. We have calamities and catastrophes. We have typhoons, cyclones, hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes, tidal waves. For everything else, we have the Bermuda Triangle. In more recent, Mother Nature has invented a new type of human beings called terrorists.
For each cleansing method Mother Nature has invented, there is some problem that we can solve with it. For example, melamine should be used as part of the plastic bomb for terrorists. Hurricanes and cyclones should go to the Middle East and Africa with their water problems while volcanoes should erupt closer to archipelagos to help them gain better inter-island connection. Tidal waves are good after major parties (Times Square New Year Party) and tsunamis are probably good for people who wish to pick fish rather than angle for them.
So, I believe the answers are all there. We've just been getting our questions wrong. Now you have the answer. Does that turn you into a Smartie?
Next time - Does every answer require a question?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Cold comfort is no comfort
The bubbles have burst at last. But there are still some bubbles that are hiding in the corner.
A single friend and I spoke recently and invariably, we talked about our long running concerns which had been shared between us since 2006.
Both of us were incredulous as we watched the markets soar beyond reasonable heights and marvelled as we saw how people spent money like there would be no tomorrow.
We kept looking at the growing bubble. We reminded each other to keep our monies close. We talked each other out of investments. Avoid big investments anyway. We tried our best to save our salaries - it was getting progressively harder to save up because the cost of living was inching up quietly.
We wondered how people could live such lavish lifestyles and own two houses (and thus service two loans) when we, both single and were then (she still is, I'm no longer) getting rather good pay packets. We had little to worry about, except our basic needs essentially.
It was evident that when two rational people share the same outlook, there is something very long. We laughed at how long the paper could contain the fire, how tough the bubble could be to withstand the elements, how many skeletons some closets can accommodate.
Subprime was all the rage. Sub- means below or not as good. Yet, people thought they had flourished under the banner of sub-optimal living. As they tried to reach for their prize, the thickness of the ice sheet they are standing on grew thinner and thinner.
Now the cracks are showing and shore is beyond reach. People who en bloc-ed are losing their bollocks. I hope this will not be too rampant but there would be people losing their shirts on their backs. I hope SMRT and LTA get the MRT platform doors erected fast or there could be more train delays.
AIG showed how you think you have protected yourself, only to have all the money you've invested in your life Houdini in front of your eyes. DBS Treasure 5 is another joke now. Fortunately, it's the rich who are losing their marbles, I mean money.
I'm going to sort out my accounts knowing that Singapore Laws only protect the first $x dollars for each bank depositor. I'm going to be careful. Given how things are, one could be better off keeping their monies in a pillow than to a bank. Safe deposits may not be a bad idea after all.
This is a financial crisis that no one wants to see. But all the signs point to its inevitability. It is a matter of time and now, it's time. Eat your bitter fruit as you have sowed your seeds.
Greedy folks have played the housing and other market out of the ordinary person's reach. It's pay back time and I hope a loanshark's interest would be levied.
God bless Wall Street and America.
Have fun, world.
A single friend and I spoke recently and invariably, we talked about our long running concerns which had been shared between us since 2006.
Both of us were incredulous as we watched the markets soar beyond reasonable heights and marvelled as we saw how people spent money like there would be no tomorrow.
We kept looking at the growing bubble. We reminded each other to keep our monies close. We talked each other out of investments. Avoid big investments anyway. We tried our best to save our salaries - it was getting progressively harder to save up because the cost of living was inching up quietly.
We wondered how people could live such lavish lifestyles and own two houses (and thus service two loans) when we, both single and were then (she still is, I'm no longer) getting rather good pay packets. We had little to worry about, except our basic needs essentially.
It was evident that when two rational people share the same outlook, there is something very long. We laughed at how long the paper could contain the fire, how tough the bubble could be to withstand the elements, how many skeletons some closets can accommodate.
Subprime was all the rage. Sub- means below or not as good. Yet, people thought they had flourished under the banner of sub-optimal living. As they tried to reach for their prize, the thickness of the ice sheet they are standing on grew thinner and thinner.
Now the cracks are showing and shore is beyond reach. People who en bloc-ed are losing their bollocks. I hope this will not be too rampant but there would be people losing their shirts on their backs. I hope SMRT and LTA get the MRT platform doors erected fast or there could be more train delays.
AIG showed how you think you have protected yourself, only to have all the money you've invested in your life Houdini in front of your eyes. DBS Treasure 5 is another joke now. Fortunately, it's the rich who are losing their marbles, I mean money.
I'm going to sort out my accounts knowing that Singapore Laws only protect the first $x dollars for each bank depositor. I'm going to be careful. Given how things are, one could be better off keeping their monies in a pillow than to a bank. Safe deposits may not be a bad idea after all.
This is a financial crisis that no one wants to see. But all the signs point to its inevitability. It is a matter of time and now, it's time. Eat your bitter fruit as you have sowed your seeds.
Greedy folks have played the housing and other market out of the ordinary person's reach. It's pay back time and I hope a loanshark's interest would be levied.
God bless Wall Street and America.
Have fun, world.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
This goes to the press next
- Stock reply -
Dear Tan Eugene,
Thank you for contacting PayPal with your concerns.
After review all the information on your account,we still couldn't find anything that you claimed.So we could't help you to cover the loss due to currency exchange.
I do apologize for any frustration that you have experienced.
Thank you for being part of the PayPal community.
Sincerely,
Hui
PayPal Account Review Department
PayPal, an eBay Company
- "I've got enough" response -
It's not frustration. No, it's disbelief. Utter disbelief that Paypal would hire staff who cannot figure out what is wrong even though I have already sent you the supporting document. I reattach the document so that you don't have search for it again to do the simple exercise below. (Document not attached because over here, I do not have to prove figures below.)
Let us try one more time.
Before I begin, let me remind you that I've already informed Paypal that my credit card transacts in Singapore Dollars (SGD) and therefore, when forex rates fluctuate, what I am charged in and what I receive may be different even though the foreign currency amounts in question are identical. In other words, regardless what happens, the credit card company will do the conversions and then I am billed and refunded in Singapore Dollars (SGD). Another way of looking at it is that all currencies will be converted to SGD when I am billed or when I receive refunds. If we have an understanding here, let's proceed.
Fraud cases 1 and 2 - case 1 and case 2 present identical scenarios.
When my account was fraudulently charged for USD 600, the credit card company billed me for SGD 883.10.
When Paypal reversed the charge for USD 600, the credit card company credited me SGD 838.40.
What has happened to me with regards to USD and with regards to SGD?
What can you say about my financial position? Is what I got back MORE or LESS than what I paid?
Do you see the difference now in SGD? Can you calculate the difference that I lost?
Fraud case 3
When my account was fraudulently charged for USD 100, the credit card company billed me for SGD 147.18.
When Paypal reversed the charge for USD 100, the credit card company credited me SGD 139.74.
What has happened to me with regards to USD and with regards to SGD?
What can you say about my financial position? Is what I got back MORE or LESS than what I paid?
Do you see the difference now in SGD? Can you calculate the difference that I lost?
Fraud case 4
When my account was fraudulently charged for GBP 180, the credit card company billed me for SGD 468.36.
When Paypal reversed the charge for GBP 180, the credit card company credited me SGD 441.81.
What has happened to me with regards to GBP and with regards to SGD?
What can you say about my financial position? Is what I got back MORE or LESS than what I paid?
Do you see the difference now in SGD? Can you calculate the difference that I lost?
Now, can you calculate the TOTAL amount in SGD that I have lost?
This is clearly simple enough that 10 year old kids who have learnt money and decimals can work out.
Let us check if we arrived at the same answers. Did you finally manage to figure out that:
(i) although there *seems* (operative word) to be no difference in my foreign currencies standing,
(ii) the reality is that I have lost SGD 123.39 ARISING FROM CURRENCY EXCHANGE from USD and GBP to SGD?
So what is it that you do not find?
Making good this loss is what Paypal has promised to its users, who had been fraud victims, in your rules and regulations - Paypal promised to honour all losses arising from the fraudulent charges. In this case, the losses in SGD are SGD 123.39, even though on paper, it *seems* like all charges have been reversed. What you see on paper is NOT accurate in my case because the reality is what costs me in the end. According to Paypal, it should cost me NOTHING because I had been a fraud victim. However, based on Paypal representatives' repeated failure to understand my requests, it seems like Paypal's promise is no good because nobody at Paypal will honour it.
If this happens to you one day, what would YOU do?
By the way, I have cc-ed a representative from my credit card company, Mr X, in this email. I am sure Mr X would be able to teach you a thing or two about non-US credit cards and how foreign currency transactions are handled. He may also be able to teach you how to read the statement from the credit card company, if my explanations are insufficient.
Best,
Eugene
>> X, thank you for the follow up phone call yesterday highlighting Paypal's responsibilities to its customers. Looks like Paypal's folks do not understand what I'm trying to tell them. Could I trouble you to speak with them if needed? Thank you for your kind assistance.
Dear Tan Eugene,
Thank you for contacting PayPal with your concerns.
After review all the information on your account,we still couldn't find anything that you claimed.So we could't help you to cover the loss due to currency exchange.
I do apologize for any frustration that you have experienced.
Thank you for being part of the PayPal community.
Sincerely,
Hui
PayPal Account Review Department
PayPal, an eBay Company
- "I've got enough" response -
It's not frustration. No, it's disbelief. Utter disbelief that Paypal would hire staff who cannot figure out what is wrong even though I have already sent you the supporting document. I reattach the document so that you don't have search for it again to do the simple exercise below. (Document not attached because over here, I do not have to prove figures below.)
Let us try one more time.
Before I begin, let me remind you that I've already informed Paypal that my credit card transacts in Singapore Dollars (SGD) and therefore, when forex rates fluctuate, what I am charged in and what I receive may be different even though the foreign currency amounts in question are identical. In other words, regardless what happens, the credit card company will do the conversions and then I am billed and refunded in Singapore Dollars (SGD). Another way of looking at it is that all currencies will be converted to SGD when I am billed or when I receive refunds. If we have an understanding here, let's proceed.
Fraud cases 1 and 2 - case 1 and case 2 present identical scenarios.
When my account was fraudulently charged for USD 600, the credit card company billed me for SGD 883.10.
When Paypal reversed the charge for USD 600, the credit card company credited me SGD 838.40.
What has happened to me with regards to USD and with regards to SGD?
What can you say about my financial position? Is what I got back MORE or LESS than what I paid?
Do you see the difference now in SGD? Can you calculate the difference that I lost?
Fraud case 3
When my account was fraudulently charged for USD 100, the credit card company billed me for SGD 147.18.
When Paypal reversed the charge for USD 100, the credit card company credited me SGD 139.74.
What has happened to me with regards to USD and with regards to SGD?
What can you say about my financial position? Is what I got back MORE or LESS than what I paid?
Do you see the difference now in SGD? Can you calculate the difference that I lost?
Fraud case 4
When my account was fraudulently charged for GBP 180, the credit card company billed me for SGD 468.36.
When Paypal reversed the charge for GBP 180, the credit card company credited me SGD 441.81.
What has happened to me with regards to GBP and with regards to SGD?
What can you say about my financial position? Is what I got back MORE or LESS than what I paid?
Do you see the difference now in SGD? Can you calculate the difference that I lost?
Now, can you calculate the TOTAL amount in SGD that I have lost?
This is clearly simple enough that 10 year old kids who have learnt money and decimals can work out.
Let us check if we arrived at the same answers. Did you finally manage to figure out that:
(i) although there *seems* (operative word) to be no difference in my foreign currencies standing,
(ii) the reality is that I have lost SGD 123.39 ARISING FROM CURRENCY EXCHANGE from USD and GBP to SGD?
So what is it that you do not find?
Making good this loss is what Paypal has promised to its users, who had been fraud victims, in your rules and regulations - Paypal promised to honour all losses arising from the fraudulent charges. In this case, the losses in SGD are SGD 123.39, even though on paper, it *seems* like all charges have been reversed. What you see on paper is NOT accurate in my case because the reality is what costs me in the end. According to Paypal, it should cost me NOTHING because I had been a fraud victim. However, based on Paypal representatives' repeated failure to understand my requests, it seems like Paypal's promise is no good because nobody at Paypal will honour it.
If this happens to you one day, what would YOU do?
By the way, I have cc-ed a representative from my credit card company, Mr X, in this email. I am sure Mr X would be able to teach you a thing or two about non-US credit cards and how foreign currency transactions are handled. He may also be able to teach you how to read the statement from the credit card company, if my explanations are insufficient.
Best,
Eugene
>> X, thank you for the follow up phone call yesterday highlighting Paypal's responsibilities to its customers. Looks like Paypal's folks do not understand what I'm trying to tell them. Could I trouble you to speak with them if needed? Thank you for your kind assistance.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Overheard
"Papa, paaaa paaaaah! Last night Disney Pixar called me. They asked me if I wanted my own movie."
"..."
"I told them I don't want, but my papa would want a movie of his life."
"..."
"Then they asked me what is the title of the movie."
"..."
"I told them, "Pigg-E"
"..."
"I told them I don't want, but my papa would want a movie of his life."
"..."
"Then they asked me what is the title of the movie."
"..."
"I told them, "Pigg-E"
Time in a bottle
Introduced to this song by T. F. It's one of his favourites.
And for some weird reason, every time someone tunes in to the oldies station when I'm sitting in their car, the song comes on.
I know it could be psychological, because you could say that I tend to pay attention to songs that I know. Hey, there are many songs I know, ok?
Two Sundays ago, last Sunday, and today. Every time the driver changes the station to the oldies station, or not long after I enter the car, it comes on.
Some kind of sign?
And for some weird reason, every time someone tunes in to the oldies station when I'm sitting in their car, the song comes on.
I know it could be psychological, because you could say that I tend to pay attention to songs that I know. Hey, there are many songs I know, ok?
Two Sundays ago, last Sunday, and today. Every time the driver changes the station to the oldies station, or not long after I enter the car, it comes on.
Some kind of sign?
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Paypal Hacked
Three bastards hacked into my Paypal account and took a significant sum of money without my authorisation. I'm in the midst of fighting these charges now.
Also, once I figure out my legal rights, I may consider taking legal action.
Also, once I figure out my legal rights, I may consider taking legal action.
Friday, September 05, 2008
Why can't I?
At my writing workshop earlier this week, hot Italian babe of an exchange student asked why she ain't allowed to make radical claims when writing an academic essay. It's *her* essay, (goddammit), and what's wrong with wanting to be radical and extreme.
It took me a long time to explain to her and the class - yes, the group of sycophants who quickly aligned with her once the question was broached - why academic writing had to be reasoned and reasonable. I had to explain why qualifiers were needed, why bare overgeneralisations were not acceptable, why the chosen position must be defensible etc etc.
After a long while, I got them to see that academic knowledge making would be a joke if everyone made ludicrous claims and the biggest braggart wins.
When I was recounting to my boss, she said, "That's why we have academic writing and creative writing." Finally, a glimpse of how the academic writing researchers see creative writing researchers!
It took me a long time to explain to her and the class - yes, the group of sycophants who quickly aligned with her once the question was broached - why academic writing had to be reasoned and reasonable. I had to explain why qualifiers were needed, why bare overgeneralisations were not acceptable, why the chosen position must be defensible etc etc.
After a long while, I got them to see that academic knowledge making would be a joke if everyone made ludicrous claims and the biggest braggart wins.
When I was recounting to my boss, she said, "That's why we have academic writing and creative writing." Finally, a glimpse of how the academic writing researchers see creative writing researchers!
Penultimatum
I sent out my first set of warning to a freshman today. His writing can't cut it because his grammar is just so weak. His word forms are all wrong and he can't translate his thoughts from Chinese to English.
I'm afraid I've not broken the news gently enough but something needs to be done and stat! The course is almost a quarter way through and if I can't get past the essay because things are lost in translation, then how does he expect to clear Freshman Writing?
I'm afraid I've not broken the news gently enough but something needs to be done and stat! The course is almost a quarter way through and if I can't get past the essay because things are lost in translation, then how does he expect to clear Freshman Writing?
What a week
Three workshops, two lessons and close to eighty rounds of writing conferences. I probably spoke more this week than I had in a month!
I'm tired.
I'm tired.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Poor Muthu
There is absolutely no malice in printing this. We could change Muthu to Ah Seng, Ahmad or Jonny and all will still work!
Enjoy.
*****
MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER*
Interviewer: 'What is your birth date?'
Muthu : '13th October.'
Interviewer : 'Which year?'
Muthu : 'Every year.'
*****
*MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*
The Manager asked Muthu at an interview... .
'Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?'
Muthu replied: 'P-O-S-T-B-O- X.'
*****
*MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, 'Do I look like a foreigner?'
Wife: 'No! Why?'
Muthu : 'In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'. . that's why.'
Wife : ?????????
*****
*MUTHU & TOURIST*
A tourist from U.S.A. Asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village...
Muthu said, 'No sir, only babies were born here.'
*****
*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to 'WALK! WALK!'
The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same.
Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But the cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, 'I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.'
*****
*MUTHU & DRIVER*
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, 'You are trying to see my wife, he? Sit in the back. I will drive.'
*****
*MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Muthu pointed towards the signboard
'* WASH BASIN * '
*****
*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART*
Interviewer : 'Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?'
Muthu: 'It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination. '
*****
*Oh... Lastly.... I forgot ............ The funniest...*
At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why?
Because a lady journalist with a badge which read '*PRESS*' pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... And he did it!
Enjoy.
*****
MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER*
Interviewer: 'What is your birth date?'
Muthu : '13th October.'
Interviewer : 'Which year?'
Muthu : 'Every year.'
*****
*MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*
The Manager asked Muthu at an interview... .
'Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?'
Muthu replied: 'P-O-S-T-B-O- X.'
*****
*MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, 'Do I look like a foreigner?'
Wife: 'No! Why?'
Muthu : 'In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'. . that's why.'
Wife : ?????????
*****
*MUTHU & TOURIST*
A tourist from U.S.A. Asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village...
Muthu said, 'No sir, only babies were born here.'
*****
*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to 'WALK! WALK!'
The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same.
Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But the cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, 'I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.'
*****
*MUTHU & DRIVER*
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, 'You are trying to see my wife, he? Sit in the back. I will drive.'
*****
*MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Muthu pointed towards the signboard
'* WASH BASIN * '
*****
*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART*
Interviewer : 'Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?'
Muthu: 'It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination. '
*****
*Oh... Lastly.... I forgot ............ The funniest...*
At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why?
Because a lady journalist with a badge which read '*PRESS*' pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... And he did it!
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