An Open Letter
[At this rate I am going, I'll soon be able to compile a bitchy "Lunch at Maxwell" series.]
Dear Old Man In The White Shirt,
From your looks and action, I am very appalled by what you had done. In the Maxwell Road Food Centre, there are two automated washing basins. These were added to raise the hygiene levels during the time Singapore was ravaged by SARS.
You left your stuff on the table near the sink and then proceeded to the sinks. There is something I could not understand: Why did you spit in ONE basin and leave your sputum there and then you proceed to wash your hands in THE OTHER basin?
People like you ought to have died of SARS the last time it struck! Do you not know how disgusting and pathogenic it is to leave your phlegm there, stuck at the bottom of the basin, without washing it away with water?
I think I should not write any further because you won't understand what is written here anyway. You probably would only understand the 8 word Hokkien expletive, 6 word Cantonese expletive, 3 word Hokkien expletive, 1 word Cantonese expletive, 2 word Hakka expletive, 1 word Hokkien expletive... Oh, in general, you'll only understand expletives.
But the English one will probably be lost on you.
Here's wishing you all the best - May the discharge of a thousand runny noses enter your lungs.
Friday, November 25, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
The Rain in Spain...
The Rain in Spain...
Thought this was a nice joke to share.
As the airliner was preparing to land in Madrid in a rainstorm, an English passenger seemed noticeably afraid. "What's the problem, fellow?" asked his seat mate.
"Surely," said the Englishman, "you've heard the saying, 'The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rains!!'"
Was at the doc yesterday and met a couple whom I've travelled with on some holidays. They'd just returned from Jordan and Israel. They had to stay in the hotel that was bombed.
The hotel (I think it's the Radisson) was bombed on 9 Nov and they had to stay in it on 10 Nov. The place was a mess, the police were on high alert and every passing vehicle was stopped and checked. They had not faced much hassles on their road trips as they were Chinese.
However, the wailing outside the Radisson and the nightly virgils and heartrending screams got the better of them. For three nights, they had to endure the loud, often unbearable outbursts.
They knew the terrorism threat was near, and they knew they were in places where the terrorism threat is bad. But they had never expected to be so close to the threat, much less see the aftermath of the unnecessary tragedy.
When will the insurgents wake up? I don't know.
I recall the last I had seen something close to the aftermath of an attack was in Bali Dec 02. I went past Kuta where the bomb went off and looked around. No blood, nothing. Just some jagged concrete. Nothing striking or breath-stopping. It's just another day.
A futurist I met recently said that terrorists are like drunkards or alcoholics. Every country has them. I must say that such a comment, while true, may dilute the message that we must remain vigilant at all times.
To be a little cliche, I must echo the advertisement message "Don't let terrorism change our way of life". We just have to be more sensitive and aware of our surroundings.
Thought this was a nice joke to share.
As the airliner was preparing to land in Madrid in a rainstorm, an English passenger seemed noticeably afraid. "What's the problem, fellow?" asked his seat mate.
"Surely," said the Englishman, "you've heard the saying, 'The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rains!!'"
Was at the doc yesterday and met a couple whom I've travelled with on some holidays. They'd just returned from Jordan and Israel. They had to stay in the hotel that was bombed.
The hotel (I think it's the Radisson) was bombed on 9 Nov and they had to stay in it on 10 Nov. The place was a mess, the police were on high alert and every passing vehicle was stopped and checked. They had not faced much hassles on their road trips as they were Chinese.
However, the wailing outside the Radisson and the nightly virgils and heartrending screams got the better of them. For three nights, they had to endure the loud, often unbearable outbursts.
They knew the terrorism threat was near, and they knew they were in places where the terrorism threat is bad. But they had never expected to be so close to the threat, much less see the aftermath of the unnecessary tragedy.
When will the insurgents wake up? I don't know.
I recall the last I had seen something close to the aftermath of an attack was in Bali Dec 02. I went past Kuta where the bomb went off and looked around. No blood, nothing. Just some jagged concrete. Nothing striking or breath-stopping. It's just another day.
A futurist I met recently said that terrorists are like drunkards or alcoholics. Every country has them. I must say that such a comment, while true, may dilute the message that we must remain vigilant at all times.
To be a little cliche, I must echo the advertisement message "Don't let terrorism change our way of life". We just have to be more sensitive and aware of our surroundings.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Bird Flu
Bird Flu
What's there to fear about Bird Flu? Most Singaporeans suffer from bird flu when they go up north anyway.
And wherever there is a sale, Singaporeans get bird flu too.
What's there to fear about Bird Flu? Most Singaporeans suffer from bird flu when they go up north anyway.
And wherever there is a sale, Singaporeans get bird flu too.
What you pay...
What you pay...
The adage "What you pay is what you get" is very true.
Makes me remember a saying: In life, you can only get two of the three qualities in anything - cheap, fast, and good.
If it's cheap and fast, it ain't going to be good.
If it's cheap and good, it ain't going to be fast.
If it's fast and good, it ain't going to be cheap.
Let me quote you some experience.
I bought a metal frame bed and it was dirt cheap. Less than $100. But soon, the metal bars were bent. Well, there you go. It's cheap and fast - you could even erect that darn thing yourself, but it ain't good. The same goes for the Ichiban DVD player I bought - cheap and fast, but it's hardly 8 months and it's dead. Keeps spitting out the darned discs. No wonder the name, which sounds similar to the chinese phrase "shift together" (yi4 qi3 ban1) tries to assure you that you would be able to shift that along with you to your next nest. Duh! Of course, in Japanese, ichiban means best (or something like that!).
I bought a made in Singapore electric flask. It's cheap, it's good (so far so good) but it takes an eternity to boil up a flask of water. There you go.
I bought Marks and Spencer shirts and those cost a bomb in Singapore. But when it comes to ironing them, it's so fast and easy!
Moral of the story: I'm going to get my sister, who is going on the Sri Lanka trip that I had gone on last year, to help me stock up on more M&S shirts. These shirts are made in Sri Lanka and they retail at 40% of Singapore's price over there.
This is going to be my bid to finally get something cheap, fast and good. Of course, if you factor in the air ticket to FLY to Sri Lanka, it ain't going to be that cheap...
The adage "What you pay is what you get" is very true.
Makes me remember a saying: In life, you can only get two of the three qualities in anything - cheap, fast, and good.
If it's cheap and fast, it ain't going to be good.
If it's cheap and good, it ain't going to be fast.
If it's fast and good, it ain't going to be cheap.
Let me quote you some experience.
I bought a metal frame bed and it was dirt cheap. Less than $100. But soon, the metal bars were bent. Well, there you go. It's cheap and fast - you could even erect that darn thing yourself, but it ain't good. The same goes for the Ichiban DVD player I bought - cheap and fast, but it's hardly 8 months and it's dead. Keeps spitting out the darned discs. No wonder the name, which sounds similar to the chinese phrase "shift together" (yi4 qi3 ban1) tries to assure you that you would be able to shift that along with you to your next nest. Duh! Of course, in Japanese, ichiban means best (or something like that!).
I bought a made in Singapore electric flask. It's cheap, it's good (so far so good) but it takes an eternity to boil up a flask of water. There you go.
I bought Marks and Spencer shirts and those cost a bomb in Singapore. But when it comes to ironing them, it's so fast and easy!
Moral of the story: I'm going to get my sister, who is going on the Sri Lanka trip that I had gone on last year, to help me stock up on more M&S shirts. These shirts are made in Sri Lanka and they retail at 40% of Singapore's price over there.
This is going to be my bid to finally get something cheap, fast and good. Of course, if you factor in the air ticket to FLY to Sri Lanka, it ain't going to be that cheap...
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Blister Blister
Blister Blister
Wore the pair of shoes I bought from Sri Lanka last year for the first time yesterday. Today I wore it again. I now have a bleeding blister on my left heel and the shoe cuts right into the plaster even.
I wonder how the supermodels can wear pair after pair of new shoes to walk on the runway.
I mean, yeah, I know you've got to have really thick skin to be a supermodel. You have to be oblivious to the snide and catty remarks that people pass in your face or the biting and backstabbing behind your back. Maybe those who can parade shoes really can endure the pain.
I still vividly recall the last time I tried a pair of contact lenses and the tears flushed the lens out of my eyes. The optician attending to me told me, "Aiyoh, you not vain enough lah! You know some girls (no offence intended, but this exactly what SHE told me) are so vain, they'll force those lenses in and hold it against their eyes to get the thing to be inside, if that's the last thing they'll ever do."
Flabbergasted as I was, I disavowed contact lenses since then. "Maybe when you are vain enough, you can come back again...," the optician said. I can't believe that almost 10 years later, these words are still so fresh in my memory.
I guess I can draw two simple conclusions from here. First, I've a low pain threshold. Second, I'm no vainpot.
Afternote: Come to think about it, once you're past 30, you're over the hill in terms of looks. Don't believe that a man past 30 can ooze charisma. No. If anything oozes out of your eyes, it's probably tears of regret (regardless of marital status). If anything oozes out of your nose, it's definitely mucus. If anything oozes out of your ears, better get the ear infection checked. And if anything oozes out of your mouth, you must be having fits again (is it because of the credit card bill?).
Wore the pair of shoes I bought from Sri Lanka last year for the first time yesterday. Today I wore it again. I now have a bleeding blister on my left heel and the shoe cuts right into the plaster even.
I wonder how the supermodels can wear pair after pair of new shoes to walk on the runway.
I mean, yeah, I know you've got to have really thick skin to be a supermodel. You have to be oblivious to the snide and catty remarks that people pass in your face or the biting and backstabbing behind your back. Maybe those who can parade shoes really can endure the pain.
I still vividly recall the last time I tried a pair of contact lenses and the tears flushed the lens out of my eyes. The optician attending to me told me, "Aiyoh, you not vain enough lah! You know some girls (no offence intended, but this exactly what SHE told me) are so vain, they'll force those lenses in and hold it against their eyes to get the thing to be inside, if that's the last thing they'll ever do."
Flabbergasted as I was, I disavowed contact lenses since then. "Maybe when you are vain enough, you can come back again...," the optician said. I can't believe that almost 10 years later, these words are still so fresh in my memory.
I guess I can draw two simple conclusions from here. First, I've a low pain threshold. Second, I'm no vainpot.
Afternote: Come to think about it, once you're past 30, you're over the hill in terms of looks. Don't believe that a man past 30 can ooze charisma. No. If anything oozes out of your eyes, it's probably tears of regret (regardless of marital status). If anything oozes out of your nose, it's definitely mucus. If anything oozes out of your ears, better get the ear infection checked. And if anything oozes out of your mouth, you must be having fits again (is it because of the credit card bill?).
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Living Alone
Living Alone
Living alone is a life-changing experience. That also explains, to a large extent, the change in my blogging habit.
In the past, I'd just blog before I go to bed. I'm doing the same today. But the things that had happened in the past and are happening now are different.
For starters, in the past, my mum would wash up my laundry the next morning and I've never had to waste a single brain cell to worry about laundry being not done. Now, it's different. I'm too tired and lazy to wash up the clothes today. They are still being soaked in the pail with soap powder. I hope to do them tomorrow. I've really got to do them tomorrow, or I'm going to be in trouble.
I've left the laundry I've done two nights' ago drying on the poles STILL. I'm honestly too lazy to take them down. Maybe I'll do it soon, after I blog. I'm still undecided.
In the past, there would be food in the fridge. I'll make my customary fridge inspection every now and then to see if there is anything I can pop into my mouth. Now, there's ROTTING food in the fridge. I'm so averse to buying anything that does not have a decent shelf-life. Honestly, my 2 red apples, 2 pears and 2 green apples have sat in my fridge for the past fortnight. The remaining green apple is turning yellow! And that head of iceberg lettuce is turning watery. Oh, never mind me. I'll manage anyhow. My diet at home has been reduced to drinking plain water, which is good for me. My tough working condition has made it rather hard even to drink water on the job (so that I can avoid toilet breaks). I know this is bad, and I'm working at it. Whenever I remember, I pop in a bottle of water.
I've been dreading Thursday as it is toilet washing day. Never had to do it in the past. But for a guy, I'm hygienic. The toilet is reasonably clean. I'll not hesitate to put my hand in to pick up whatever I drop in accidentally, if you know what I mean.
I dread Saturday - ironing day. Enough said.
I'm really really looking for a part-time maid. Those that cost a reasonable sum of money to do up my mundane housework - cleaning, vacuuming and mopping the floor, washing the toilet, and ironing. Of course, the windows need to be cleaned once a month, she'll need to put in the bedsheets (I'll remove them and wash them in the washer, thank you), and possibly do the odd cleaning of whatever needs to be cleaned. It's a motley of simple jobs but hey! When you put them together, it ain't no easy piecey walk on the beach.
Housework sucks.
And don't get me started on the mess that I've got to contend with. The stuff are still on the floor. I should really do something about it. Before I go China, my short term task is to clean up the house.
I'll try.
Living alone is a life-changing experience. That also explains, to a large extent, the change in my blogging habit.
In the past, I'd just blog before I go to bed. I'm doing the same today. But the things that had happened in the past and are happening now are different.
For starters, in the past, my mum would wash up my laundry the next morning and I've never had to waste a single brain cell to worry about laundry being not done. Now, it's different. I'm too tired and lazy to wash up the clothes today. They are still being soaked in the pail with soap powder. I hope to do them tomorrow. I've really got to do them tomorrow, or I'm going to be in trouble.
I've left the laundry I've done two nights' ago drying on the poles STILL. I'm honestly too lazy to take them down. Maybe I'll do it soon, after I blog. I'm still undecided.
In the past, there would be food in the fridge. I'll make my customary fridge inspection every now and then to see if there is anything I can pop into my mouth. Now, there's ROTTING food in the fridge. I'm so averse to buying anything that does not have a decent shelf-life. Honestly, my 2 red apples, 2 pears and 2 green apples have sat in my fridge for the past fortnight. The remaining green apple is turning yellow! And that head of iceberg lettuce is turning watery. Oh, never mind me. I'll manage anyhow. My diet at home has been reduced to drinking plain water, which is good for me. My tough working condition has made it rather hard even to drink water on the job (so that I can avoid toilet breaks). I know this is bad, and I'm working at it. Whenever I remember, I pop in a bottle of water.
I've been dreading Thursday as it is toilet washing day. Never had to do it in the past. But for a guy, I'm hygienic. The toilet is reasonably clean. I'll not hesitate to put my hand in to pick up whatever I drop in accidentally, if you know what I mean.
I dread Saturday - ironing day. Enough said.
I'm really really looking for a part-time maid. Those that cost a reasonable sum of money to do up my mundane housework - cleaning, vacuuming and mopping the floor, washing the toilet, and ironing. Of course, the windows need to be cleaned once a month, she'll need to put in the bedsheets (I'll remove them and wash them in the washer, thank you), and possibly do the odd cleaning of whatever needs to be cleaned. It's a motley of simple jobs but hey! When you put them together, it ain't no easy piecey walk on the beach.
Housework sucks.
And don't get me started on the mess that I've got to contend with. The stuff are still on the floor. I should really do something about it. Before I go China, my short term task is to clean up the house.
I'll try.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
Mil-Lian-naire
Mil-Lian-naire
TV Compere: "Ah Lian, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of one million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong, you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
Ah Lian: "Sure, I want to go!"
C: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it........
A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush
Remember Lian its worth 1 million dollars."
"I think I know, but not really leh! No, I dunno. I'd want to phone a friend, want to make sure."
C: "Yes, who, Ah Lian, do you want to phone?"
Ah Lian: "I'll phone my friend Ah Huey (ringing)
Ah Huey: "Hello..."
C: "Hello Ah Huey, it's the TV compere here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire - I have Ah Lian here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a millionaire. The next voice you hear will be Ah Lian's and she'll read you the question. There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Lian."
Ah Lian: "Chin cheem ahh, which one of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it:
A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush"
Ah Huey: "Aiyah, Lian, this one easy lah! It's a Cuckoo."
Ah Lian: "You sure or not"
Ah Huey: "Belly sure."
Ah Lian: "Thanks Huey." (hangs up)
C: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the million?"
Ah Lian: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
C: "Is that your final answer?"
Ah Lian: "It is."
C: "Are you confident?"
Ah Lian: "Yes Ah Huey very choon one."
C: "Ah Lian, you have $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo. You're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Here is your cheque. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Ah Lian." (clapping)
That night Ah Lian calls on Ah Huey and brings her to Zouk for a celebration drink. As they sip their champagne, Ah Lian turns to Ah Huey and asks "Tell me Huey, how in Tua Pek Kong's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"
Ah Huey: "You dunno meh? Everybody knows that a cuckoo lives in a clock."
TV Compere: "Ah Lian, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of one million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong, you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
Ah Lian: "Sure, I want to go!"
C: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it........
A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush
Remember Lian its worth 1 million dollars."
"I think I know, but not really leh! No, I dunno. I'd want to phone a friend, want to make sure."
C: "Yes, who, Ah Lian, do you want to phone?"
Ah Lian: "I'll phone my friend Ah Huey (ringing)
Ah Huey: "Hello..."
C: "Hello Ah Huey, it's the TV compere here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire - I have Ah Lian here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a millionaire. The next voice you hear will be Ah Lian's and she'll read you the question. There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Lian."
Ah Lian: "Chin cheem ahh, which one of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it:
A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush"
Ah Huey: "Aiyah, Lian, this one easy lah! It's a Cuckoo."
Ah Lian: "You sure or not"
Ah Huey: "Belly sure."
Ah Lian: "Thanks Huey." (hangs up)
C: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the million?"
Ah Lian: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
C: "Is that your final answer?"
Ah Lian: "It is."
C: "Are you confident?"
Ah Lian: "Yes Ah Huey very choon one."
C: "Ah Lian, you have $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo. You're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Here is your cheque. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Ah Lian." (clapping)
That night Ah Lian calls on Ah Huey and brings her to Zouk for a celebration drink. As they sip their champagne, Ah Lian turns to Ah Huey and asks "Tell me Huey, how in Tua Pek Kong's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"
Ah Huey: "You dunno meh? Everybody knows that a cuckoo lives in a clock."
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Living Alone
I moved out on 2 Nov and have been living alone since.
I thought pre-move packing was a nightmare. The post-move unpacking was a nightmare an item unpacked.
The wardrobe was supposed to be huge already. Alas, it could not even store all the clothes my old wardrobe used to store.
I have more shoes than floor space to hold them and I'm not even anywhere near 0.01% of Imelda Marcos' shoe ownership numbers.
I have bookshelves which have become makeshift wardrobes. I've dumped away all my university notes.
All my new or newer books have been donated to the Salvation Army. So are some beautiful ornaments that I have no use for. I have thrown almost 5 boxes of stuff which I could not accommodate away.
The bulk of the unpacking was quick. What you can't possibly store away, you heartlessly throw away or compassionately give away. I hope people who take them home would love them like I still do (but alas!) The remaining bits and pieces are making me fall apart into as many pieces. They just don't fit anywhere.
I've cancelled the order of a new bookshelf because I think erecting wooden planks on walls to hold the remaining items are more economical and practical.
I have to set up an entirely new schedule to do up the household chores that had never needed me to do.
Basically, I need to be more innovative in my space usage. I need to break away from the traditional storage ideas and find something that works for me. And it has to be cheap.
I thought pre-move packing was a nightmare. The post-move unpacking was a nightmare an item unpacked.
The wardrobe was supposed to be huge already. Alas, it could not even store all the clothes my old wardrobe used to store.
I have more shoes than floor space to hold them and I'm not even anywhere near 0.01% of Imelda Marcos' shoe ownership numbers.
I have bookshelves which have become makeshift wardrobes. I've dumped away all my university notes.
All my new or newer books have been donated to the Salvation Army. So are some beautiful ornaments that I have no use for. I have thrown almost 5 boxes of stuff which I could not accommodate away.
The bulk of the unpacking was quick. What you can't possibly store away, you heartlessly throw away or compassionately give away. I hope people who take them home would love them like I still do (but alas!) The remaining bits and pieces are making me fall apart into as many pieces. They just don't fit anywhere.
I've cancelled the order of a new bookshelf because I think erecting wooden planks on walls to hold the remaining items are more economical and practical.
I have to set up an entirely new schedule to do up the household chores that had never needed me to do.
Basically, I need to be more innovative in my space usage. I need to break away from the traditional storage ideas and find something that works for me. And it has to be cheap.
Class Gathering
PRCS 2004 4/6 Gathering
AMENDED 27 OCT 05
Class gathering
Date: 8 Nov 05
Time: 6.30 pm
Venue: Swensen's Family Restaurant
Address: Singapore Airport Terminal 1
Nana, please be F&B rep for this round. Take attendance in comments column and book a table (or split into two tables also can) for that number of people. Thank you.
The rest: Please remind everyone of change of venue. Thank you.
____ OLD ____
I am conducting a poll for our next class gathering. We will go ahead once at least 15 people are coming together to meet.
In the comments, write your name. Then please indicate:
yes if you are interested to/able to turn up or
no if you are unable to turn up no matter what.
I'll be moving on 2 Nov 05 and so, we'll be meeting after 5 Nov 05.
Offhand, 8 Nov may be a good day to meet. As usual, we'll eat at a Muslim food establishment - need your suggestions! If there is a kind soul out there who does not mind opening up his/her place for us, we can pay your parents for the food costs to cook for us, or we can cater a little buffet. Nothing is firm yet, but given the unpredictable weather in Nov, BBQ is a huge risk. Or we could have a Swensen night out at T1, book a table and have fun there.
Do let me know. Thank you.
AMENDED 27 OCT 05
Class gathering
Date: 8 Nov 05
Time: 6.30 pm
Venue: Swensen's Family Restaurant
Address: Singapore Airport Terminal 1
Nana, please be F&B rep for this round. Take attendance in comments column and book a table (or split into two tables also can) for that number of people. Thank you.
The rest: Please remind everyone of change of venue. Thank you.
____ OLD ____
I am conducting a poll for our next class gathering. We will go ahead once at least 15 people are coming together to meet.
In the comments, write your name. Then please indicate:
yes if you are interested to/able to turn up or
no if you are unable to turn up no matter what.
I'll be moving on 2 Nov 05 and so, we'll be meeting after 5 Nov 05.
Offhand, 8 Nov may be a good day to meet. As usual, we'll eat at a Muslim food establishment - need your suggestions! If there is a kind soul out there who does not mind opening up his/her place for us, we can pay your parents for the food costs to cook for us, or we can cater a little buffet. Nothing is firm yet, but given the unpredictable weather in Nov, BBQ is a huge risk. Or we could have a Swensen night out at T1, book a table and have fun there.
Do let me know. Thank you.
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