I'm going green

Warning: This post in tongue-in-cheek.

I'm pledging to save the earth by helping it go green.

I resolve to eat only meat. This way I can help eradicate all the animals that are feeding on plants. When there are less animals to feed on plants, there will be more plants left over.

With more plants on Earth, it will go green.

I should now be eligible to scream in that Saving Gaia advertisement:
If I am eating meat, would you allow me?

And then I can look really motherly and ask:
If I were Mother Nature, would you let me save my plants?

Someone is jealous...

... that BHD got a get well video.

Ok, let me wish this someone a quick breaking free from his green eyed days.



Wow, looks like I am going green too. :)

Say a Little Prayer for You

BHD's got a little run in with green salad veggies.

Here's something to wish him a speedy recovery.

One can wait too long...

Just ask American John Isner and Frenchman Nicolas Mahut.

Both men resumed play at Court 18 today knotted at 59-59 in the fifth set of their first-round Wimbledon singles match, having obliterated every record for length and longevity long before they were forced off court by the setting sun for the second consecutive night.

The match continued on serve with no break points until the American hit a backhand passing shot past the Frenchman in the 138th game of the set to finish the contest in front of a packed crowd on Court 18.

The amazing final score read: 6-4 3-6 6-7(7) 7-6(3) 70-68.

I believe this match will be remembered for a long time.

* * *

We sat at a coffeeshop waiting for our menu to arrive. Two reminders from the drink stall assistants later, the cze-char assistant came and asked what we wanted.

A wait later, the menu arrived. We thumbed through the menu rather quickly and decided what we wanted. This time, we had to beckon two different assistants twice each and none of them had the time to come near the table to take our orders.

Finally, a third assistant came by. By then, we were more than 20 minutes into waiting to be served. We stood up and walked off as the guy asked if we wanted to eat.

"No. I waited so long I'm full already." I replied.

Honestly, the entire operations can go "fornicate with arachnids". The assistant apologised for being extremely shorthanded today and what not.

But we simply walked on, choosing not to reply. If there isn't a good thing to say, don't say it. At least not along Sam Leong Road, beside Desker Road.

* * *

Ticked off army guys two weeks ago over their botched armoured vehicle movements that left a whole bunch of cars backed up into the Kallang Leisure Mall carpark. Cars were stuck on the ramp and the queue snaked into the car park itself. Pity the poor sods behind who had to pay for parking charges as they were still stuck in the "paying area".

I am rather certain that the armoured vehicle drivers had not been properly briefed on public road convoy movements prior to the first dress National Day Parade rehearsal. I am also fairly certain that the army acted in its own accord, failing to rope in the Land Transport Authority and the Traffic Police to help in closing roads and ensuring no traffic snarls to facilitate the convoy's movement. I am deadsure that the fellas planning the parade did not read the planning and execution papers that their predecessors in 2000 and 2005 had written.

The low CEP kapitan had the cheek to tell me that the "concept for 2010 is different" and "cannot (be) compare(d) with 2000 and 2005" when I told him that he should have read the prior papers.

If anything, I was the chief note taker at all National Day Parade 2000 executive committee meetings and I know what needed to be done when you are moving out all the green coloured moving metal pieces to challenge North Korea. Ok, the NK part, I jest. Still?

When I told a retired air force lieutenant colonel about the event, she went ballistic. What nonsense, she proclaimed. "The concept will definitely be different but the underlying principles will be the same." How we agree!

So, after a good 30 minutes of being stuck in a jam not of our doing, we were finally allowed to drive out when the armoured vehicle convoy drivers were made to keep in their respective lanes and not hog the middle of a two lane one-way road.

A little planning and a well-executed staggered road closure would have avoided many ugly scenes. But then, the men in green just love to be screamed at. Just watch how well adored the drill sergeants and parade commanders are...

* * *

And there is another aspect where one can wait too long, but the time is not ripe yet.

Later.

Crap oh crap Euphemisms

I didn't write these but I'll reproduce what I read and cite my source.

"We believe that everyone who used to visit Bangkok and shopped at Centralworld should be sad due to his incident. Please keep the good feelings and wait for our better return." - Map, 2010.

"Thank you for all visitors which have a chance to visit after the violation incident from the riot of "red shirts" mob and they not satisfied the mainstays of "red shirts" announcing to revoke the political protest after the deployment of military from the Centre for the Resolution of the Emergency Situation (CRES), as the protestors "Red Shirts" didn't accept the solution of the mainstays and felt not satisfied as a result of the groups of protestots made a riot.

"Everyone who has a chance to visit Bangkok, if you are interested to know more about this incident, please search more through internet. If you have free time and chance to visit the incidents, please say hell (sic!) to those entrepreneurs who were affected from these incidents with good willingness and the map handbook "Siam Bangkok Map Tourist" shall be the guideline to lead you going to anywhere as wished." - Map, 2010

Reference:

Map, Siam Bangkok. (2010, June) 2(18)

Places damaged by fire

Bangkok Bank
Centre One PLaza
Government Savings Bank
Office of the Narcotic Control Board
Siam City Bank
Big C Headquarters
Central World
Krung Thai Bank
Mahatun Plaza Building
Siam Paragon
Siam Theatre
Kasikorn Bank
Tesco Lotus Express
Metropolitan Electricity Authority
Post Today News (Bangkok Post)
The Stock Exchange of Thailand
Thai TV 3
Tesco Lotus

No discount, no discount...

Recently, the Life Section of the Straits Times (Singapore daily) proclaimed Bangkok to be on sale.

Truth be told, the only things that were on sale were things that you wouldn't want to buy. Yellowed white shoes, size 5 socks going at 4 pairs for 100 baht, twin pack Heads-and-Shoulders shampoo for 69 baht (probably rescued from the burning shops).

Well, there were few things of quality on sale in Thailand. And after conversion, the sale price is about Singapore prices, or more. So why burn additional aircraft fuel to bring back stuff?

Oh, yes. There is something wrong with the sizing in the clothes the Thais sell. Perhaps the missizing was intentional, so their products can be written off as flawed or seconds. Can you believe that an L/XL folk needs a XXL? Hard to fathom but go to Silom and you'll see that it's true.

And 100 baht CK underwear anyone? If you can stand it bleed for as many washes you subject it to, then go ahead. I've learnt my lesson. Nothing less than the real McCoy for me!

Verdict: Nothing great unless you like antiques and are anorexic.

Where have all the flowers gone...?

Perhaps I should be more specific. Where have all the tomyam goong gone?

Gone were the traditional looking stalls manned by older Thai folks who cook a mean tomyam goong.

I only had two bowls in Thailand, one in the Platinum Shopping Centre (C)opposite where I stayed, and one in the Airport Departure Lounge (F). Both did not make the mark and I am honestly disappointed.

I need my fix at Old Airport Road soon.

Another thing I missed as good Phad Thai.

These days, street hawkers have pre-fried, pre-coloured, pre-flavoured rice noodles - they are really stained appalling pink - and when you order, the noodles are tossed in a hot skiller with some other ingredients and hey presto! You get your "fart Thai". Tastes really bad.

I missed my mango salad.

The weather was incredibly warm and the lack of crowds meant that if you were to buy food off the hawkers in the street, you risk getting stuff that is lying around there for quite some time already. If the local Thais won't buy it, then tourists had better not buy it too.

I also had a very lousy lunch at a restaurant serving Hong Kong tim sum near the Asok BTS station. While the tim sum buffet went at 159 baht ++ per head, I decided to go a la carte. It was bad. The only saving grace was the roasted duck slices that came with the noodles. The tim sum and noodles were oodles of evil. Trust me, a Hong Konger would probably prefer to eat his/her own socks than that meal!

Despite the misses, there were a few gems. I had a lovely coagulated blood soup from one of the backlane stalls in the Pratunam area.

I had some nice noodles at Damnernsaduak Floating Market. Yes, Uncle Anthony Bourdain went there when he filmed one of his travel/food shows. I also had a great coconut ice cream there and some excellent Thai pancakes.

On the same trip but prior to visiting the floating market, I also had some nice noodles at Maeklong Market. Bourdain had gone there too. And it is true that the market is set up alongside the railway tracks and when the train runs, market vendors rush to remove their wares, only to restitute them to the original position right after the train passed. The Maeklong Station is located just next to the canal. Amazing sights.

And then I freaked out eating Thai noodles for the rest of the trip, at least fish ball noodles!

Verdict: Culinary Misadventure

Smooth As Silk

Thai Airways lived up to its promise to its customers that it is "smooth as silk". Let me show you evidence of their great work.

TG Check-in at Changi Airport, Singapore

There is perhaps nothing more appalling than seeing a relief aid mission carting a billion trillion gazillion boxes of medicine and other relief items bound for Dhaka stuck in front of two open check-in counters (out of 7). Instead of deploying staff to clear the passenger check in and luggage check in, Thai chose to do the eye power exercise.

It gets worse. There is an Internet Check In counter, which had literally no queue because 99.99% of the TG customers cannot check in online in Singapore and there is a dedicated Royal Silk Class counter with no one in line, as the flight probably has at most 12 such passengers - the seating maximum on that A333 plane. This knocks two more counters out of commission.

That leaves over 200 check in passengers waiting to be cleared by 3 counter staff. And there are many other passengers trying their luck to get on this "full flight". These people should have been attended to at the ticketing counter, not the check in counter. Yet, the staff persisted, showing their traditional Thai patience - let me check, move off counter to talk with ticketing staff, get back, say something, repeat, and end with, "You need to go to the ticketing counter to check, Sir, and then come back here at 6.50 am to check if you are allowed on this flight.

There was an Indian family that was stuck at one counter for 30 minutes and counting! Then, one of the check in supervisors came out and said, I need you (the passengers) to move! Move to that counter, she told the passengers. As the passengers moved, the queues became evident. She's just moving one queue to another. People were miffed.

I need this counter to be cleared, she declared to the Dhaka staff. Yeah right, without assistance, there was no way a single staff was going to clear the lines fast enough. Can you clear these boxes? She asked the relief mission folks. No, these are for check in!

She got past me and I told her, "Open up the internet check in counter to deal with the queues! And for goodness sake, the Business class girl can take on individual customers!" This way, the Royal Silk (aka Business) class passengers will not have to wait for more than one passenger before s/he/it gets to check in.

The manager was also nowhere to be seen. Oh wait! She appears. The Indian woman seemed only too happy to play the conductor of this messy septet, not wishing to get her hands dirty at all.

All this while, I was standing in queue.

It was indeed smooth as silk. Nothing moved.

TG Baggage Handling at Suvarnabhumi Airport, Bangkok

The Service Level Agreement must have been "first bag on belt in 15 minutes" or so. Because that was all the passengers were getting, until a few Jurassic ages later.

Passengers stood rooted to the ground, their eyes darting in rapid movement, hoping to spot their luggage. No one fainted, so the darting of the eyes must have been smooth as silk too.

Damaged Luggage Repair

The hardcase I carried to Bangkok had a rubber tubing that sealed the two halves of the luggage as it shuts. The tubing is held in place in the luggage by its natural tension. However, when my luggage arrived, the rubber tubing was ripped out, not unlike an outie belly button. Damaged. The bag was also stained with a sticky red substance which I am not sure what it really was.

Made a luggage damage report and the agent acting for TG was called to repair the luggage in Bangkok, at my request.

The bag came back and the rubber tubing, which should have been changed, was sneakily super glued to the luggage. I bet my bottom dollar that when I take this bag on an extended flight to a place such as the US, the glue will freeze, crack and take the tubing along with it. Who do I claim against then? Or what if the glue stained my clothes or items in the baggage? What do I do?

The entire transaction was smooth as silk. Almost fly by night, if you ask me. Leave bag at Concierge, luggage guy picks up, leave TG claim report in exchange for repaired luggage at Concierge thereafter.

The entire recovery was smooth as silk. So was the "con" job.

I turn and changed face. TG inflight service

Can't help noticing that the TG stewardesses are young things with nary a line on their face.

But make a request and each and everyone I've seen so far can put the best Sichuan Mask Changing Master to shame.

"Ok, sir." She went.

She looked up and her face turned. That sinister stare, the underlying belligerence, the anger at being made to serve. It wasn't me who asked, but I could not help noticing, since I am typically quite alert during certain odd flights.

If I were to borrow the MasterCard advertisement tagline and amend it later, "Change face - seamless!"

All in all, TG provided a new interpretation of SAS to me. I was a first time customer on their international flight and would I fly them again?

Let me think about it.

Three Bowls of Pigs Trotters

Yes, sawasdee ka!

I'll be in Bangkok from 12 to 15 Jun.

I'll mostly be wearing navy blue shirts.

No, I'll be a good boy and start nothing there. :)

Till then.

Singapore Flyer Showdown

Two friends and I were waiting for our Singapore Flyer ride. We patiently gave way to a horde of progressively barbaric people on an organized trip. We did not mind letting them go up first; after all, the idea was for everyone to have a good time.

The last group of people from the organization, however, did not want to move forward for their ride despite the three of us giving them wide berth in the waiting area. We were hence asked to go ahead into the next arriving capsule.

And for some strange reason, the group behind us felt it was fine to just board the same capsule when they were beckoned on by the ushers. Common sense dictated that they wait for the next one.

Of course, they came on and made enough noise in a poorly noise-insulated cabin with bare floors, hard seats and single layer glass panels. And if the quality of their lives directly depended on the amount of noise they could make, then they are probably trying to live like gods. You get the point.

My friends and I were offered audio players which we hold to our ears if we wanted to know where to look and make sense of what we see. There is a reason why we needed to hold those players close to our ears; noise is not welcome in the capsule unless you are in search of a splitting headache after the 37 minute ride.

As the doors of the capsule closed, I already made my stand clear about the noise generated by the group: If I were in a different group, I would have waited for the next capsule. Isn't that why the group refused to go up earlier?

The noise abated for a while and soon the din reached ear splitting levels. The people were distributed across the capsule and as each group began to speak louder, the next group had to speak even louder to be heard. I was hearing absolutely nothing from the audio player despite it being turned to maximum volume and me nearly attempting a direct implantation of the device into my ear.

I have had enough.

So I placed the player down and said - loudly enough - "What's the point of the player? It's so noisy there is nothing I can listen! Whole bunch of *profession deleted* who cannot behave in public!"

Eerie, awkward silence ensued.

Great. I love it. I'm loving it indeed.

I will no longer suffer in silence. I shall no longer put up with nonsense. I love the new me.

As the ride went on, the group made some noise here and there but nothing at the levels as before. Logically, in a shared space, one has to be conscious of the people around them. We all give up something in a shared space. I lost an opportunity to speak with my friend from Hong Kong because of these intruders. We won't speak because we don't want to disturb the peace. But if we had a capsule to ourselves, we might just have the conversation.

Given the way most of the folks behaved after my outburst, it was pretty clear that they are aware they have gone overboard. A quick reflection - given their work, they are always asked to reflect on their actions - will tell them that they have invaded the personal space of outsiders in their midst.

As the ride went on, I turned around and spotted a older woman, probably coming 60s, gesturing to her colleagues in the capsule before ours (i.e. above us, as the flyer rotated on its centre). She was showing that she had to zip her mouth and then she raised her finger up her temple and showed screwing motions.

Ah, if that is not inviting another rebuke. So I told her, "Eh, you don't have to do that. What's wrong with being told off when you are overly noisy?"

She argued that she's calling the flyer management to ask if making noise is allowed in the capsule.

No, I didn't go ballistics. I just wondered if so many years in her job made her go nuts. What is it that is not in her culture that does not tell her that making that much noise and affecting other people is wrong?

I replied that some noise is fine but that amount of noise was plainly unacceptable. I reiterated that if they had wanted to make so much noise, they could have waited for the next capsule. (You do the math: There are 28 capsules and a ride is 37 minutes. In less than a couple of minutes, the group could give everyone instant deafness in a nutshell!)

She then said that she was on her first trip up the flyer and was very excited and her colleagues too. And now they have to ride in such silence and she felt very sorry for herself. She said that she feels sorry to be told off by a foreigner.

I told her it was my first trip too. And I am equally sorry that I had to tick them off this way because they simply went overboard.

And then the next stupider thing happened: One of her colleagues said, "You have the audio players and we don't have any. So how do we not make noise when you take all those players?"

Oh my god. If God made them think before they spoke, they would probably have looked just half as stupid. On our way in, we saw about 50 or so audio players at the entrance. We were asked if we wanted these players. Given that the group of folks were around 80 (max) and that most of the earlier 3 groups had not taken those players, these people up in the capsule would have had an opportunity to take a player if they had wanted.

Excitement or not, this was a lame attempt to salvage anything. If anything at all, I had more respect for those who were aware that they had gone overboard and generally kept quiet.

Old woman insisted that she will write to the management to ask if she can make noise. I told her to go ahead and write. You know, I have so little regard for her and her profession that I had in good mind to drop her minister an email and ask if her behaviour was becoming an employee of the state. But I won't do that; it is not in my interest to make her lose her job or my tax payer monies might be used to keep her alive thereafter.

I also reiterated that a reasonable noise level is acceptable and I won't complain about that. The ride went on later and the group did resume making some noise. However, they did watch themselves and policed the noise levels.

As a fellow Singaporean, I am appalled that we have fallen that far on social graces. Have we forgotten that we are not the centre of the universe? Have we disregarded that in our need for gratification, there are others who are seeking the same and our actions might have deprived others of it?

I may not have done a great job here myself but on hindsight, an outburst was still the best decision; I was certainly not in the mood for a protracted quarrel, which I was fairly certain the outcome of any request since among them was this quarrelsome old lady who is also impervious to reason.

What was the woman thinking when she made those gestures? Haven't we been guilty too of critising the Mainland Chinese for their uncouth, noise-making, and public peace disrupting behaviour but yet do the same in private?

Who are we to throw stones when we live in the same glasshouse? Who are we to tie the proverbial witches to the stakes for stoning and burning when many of us are witches too, except we are closeted?

How is loud noise in an enclosed space an acceptable behaviour when we, flyer visitors, are offered audio players that played only into our ears and not blasted through a public sound system? How is loud noise acceptable when most of members in that group will tell their charges to shut up (or words to that effect) if the noise levels get too high, and make that noise in an open room?

And how is it that old folks Ms Contrarian's age have forgotten basic manners, courtesy, consideration and etiquette? Was she not taught?

On my way out, I went to the ticketing counter and provided feedback on the ride can be made better through sound proofing, off-peak crowd management (especially relating to organizational outings) and capsule design. Oh, and I hope Ms Contrarian writes in and gets a reply to tell her that "for the comfort and pleasure of all riders in the capsule, people should keep their volume down."

To end, I'm going to borrow BHD's closing:
Life is short: Don't waste 37 minutes of it riding the Singapore Flyer.