Toes or Toast

Just went shopping with a friend for massage equipment for his school.

For the upcoming Valentine's, the equipment outlet sent out flyers entitling customers to a $50 discount if this flyer is presented.

We went to the shop and then asked if the discount could be extended to two pieces of massage equipment. After all, it is a matter of collecting another flyer. Furthermore, there is a minimum spending condition before the discount can be given. Both pieces of equipment are independently above the minimum cost that qualifies for the discount.

The salesgirl, whose eye lashes were painted like a pigeon just shit over the middle of each eye leaving a white streak, attended to us and we asked if we could have a discount on each piece of equipment. She checked with her supervisor and returned with the news that the discount is applicable.

Then when we asked to buy both pieces, she insisted that the discount is only applicable to one particular item. I pointed out to her that if the discount applies only to a specific item, then it would have stated "Only Applicable to Black Hearted Not Me Scared Scared Non amateur". (Trust me on the random capitalisation.) It would not have gone to state simply, "Minimum Spend (sic!) of $250."

After some exchange with her colleague, she relented that the discount can be given to any item. But now, she cannot allow the discount to be given to both items because her supervisor only allowed the double discount on two Black Hearted Not Me Scared Scared Non amateur non-hand muscle manipulator with negative enthalpy. Oh, come on. If you did not pay attention to our widespread hands pointing to two different items when we asked for the discount, then at least ask us what we want exactly. Don't assume we want two pieces of that equipment. Anyway, neither of us had a package that is protruding excessively between our legs that might attract any attention of anyone, unlike some porn stars. If at all, my paunch would be the attention grabber.

In any case, Miss Shitty Eyed Dumb Ass (or if you prefer the more endearing Miss Dumb Assed Shitty Eyes), it is not as though your Black Hearted products are flying off your shelves that you've hardly had enough to sell to customers like us. Your pathetic company had to offer this discount because its products are dragging ass when it comes to sales!

So, I simply said, "Fine! You are not the only store selling this. We certainly can get them from another shop." And she went, "My supervisor approves all these requests from all the outlets."

"Really? So what? Let's go." Why should I tolerate such nonsense? If I have the cash to buy things, I certainly won't tolerate such "excellent" customer service. For good measure, Watsons at Marina called me when an item I had wanted went on sale. She urged me to pick up my reserved items at the sale price. That is what I call good customer service.

Of course, the person who has to buy from the school has to be more tolerant. I simply walked out of the bloody stupid shop after verbally toasting her.

What's wrong with saying, "Oh, I made a mistake in thinking that you wanted two of Black Hearted Not Me Scared Scared Non amateur non-hand muscle manipulator with negative enthalpy. Let me call my supervisor again and check." I would have let that go. We all make mistakes. If you are interested in my business, you would definitely go out to check it out for me. Who the hell cares if your supervisor is so great? I don't mean to brag but if our consumer dollars all go to the non-Black Heart brands, your supervisor will be approving all your layoffs!

Moral of the story: If you are in sales, be on your toes or you're toast.