No guts, no glory

No guts, no glory

Tay Yek Keak

[http://www.straitstimes.com/columnist/0,1886,951-272322,00.html?]

It takes a strong stomach to be a contestant on reality shows, as horse rectum and reindeer testicles are someof the delicacies on the menu.

IT'S easy to jump from an airplane or drive across treacherous sand dunes in a desert. But eating 0.9kg of caviar, that's really a lot harder to swallow.

The fear factor about it is so great, a person can pass out.

In all those sweaty, panting reality TV shows - from The Amazing Race to Fear Factor to Survivor - nothing slows competitors down more than eating weird stuff.

They are obstacles so scary they literally make people throw up.

In one episode of the The Amazing Race, Brandon and Nicole, a couple still in the running, were in danger of elimination when she almost couldn't make it past caviar in Russia.

The poor girl looked like she was ready for the hospital when she was laid out flat on the floor.

Food, it turns out, is the most unnerving ingredient on the reality contest menu. It also happens to be the most fun (to the viewer, that is) in terms of its high euuuuu value.

And if done in an urgent Galloping Gourmet manner, a la The Amazing Race, where participants shove it down to move it on, it becomes an exciting three-part act.

First, there is the unveiling of the fare.

Next, the priceless look of horror on the contestants' faces.

And then comes the dreaded consumption itself, ranging from quick suicidal gulps to tentative and torturous diarrhoea-inducing ingestion.

'Don't look at it! Just shovel it in your face!' goes the typical pep rally.

On Fear Factor, the stuff is so gross - bugs, slugs, worms, sheep eyes, maggoty cheese, cod sperm, horse rectum, reindeer testicles and, memorably, a bull snout complete with fur - it could make even Klingons puke.

Now, that show, proud of its Fear Factor Pizza, made of cow bile, rancid cheese and coagulated blood topped with fish eyes and worms, takes extreme pleasure in serving it Klingon-style.

There is an art, I tell you, in putting something into your mouth while it is still moving.

Not all of God's creatures, it seems, especially snails, cockroaches and larvae, qualify for basic animal rights.

Sometimes, to make it yummier than your average sewer stew, they combine everything in a blender.

Now the burning question, besides whether there is a cleaning crew standing by, is whether any of those things can even be eaten.

Apparently, they can be gobbled since there has been no report so far about a person convulsing violently from a reality show food fest.

In case you think all the fare is bad, even the sweetest sins can be quite a mouthful.

One challenge in The Amazing Race had the contestants gagging on the over-consumption of rich, delicious chocolate.

But the thrill of the munchies is definitely in the offering of bad food as good reward.

Survivor, the stranded-contestants show, likes to spice things up by making unsuspecting visitors chew it up.

The sooner one's Mum can devour, say, that huge, hairy spider, the faster one can spend the day with her.

The mouth, you see, is an awesome weapon in reality TV. It's a potent fast-forward tool.

In The Amazing Race, one contestant named Chip who's called the 'Michael Jordan of eating', swallowed caviar like ice cream and made minced meat out of a scrambled, gigantic ostrich's egg.

The mouth is also a most dramatic device. Especially when it starts spewing like the Merlion.

Channel 5 has been pitching its upcoming based-in-China series, Extreme Gourmet, by exhibiting the American Pie antics of its host, Lum May Yee, and others hurling on cuisine from maggot fried rice to donkey testicles.

Speaking of such Asian delights, our eatables here have actually crossed into the realm of American TV entertainment.

The stuff we put into our mouths with relish, such as century eggs, is apparently scary to those macho men.

One man's meat is truly another man's poison.

In one classic episode of Fear Factor, massive, muscled pro wrestlers were spooked by the durian, describing it as a very nasty fruit.

When two of those heavies came to Singapore for a wrestling show last year, they were filmed eating in dread at a restaurant in Chinatown.

I think they were terrified by our bird's nest soup.