Jesus, Take The Wheel

Jesus, Take The Wheel

Artist/Band: Underwood Carrie
Lyrics for Song: Jesus, Take The Wheel
Lyrics for Album: Some Hearts

Jesus, Take the Wheel
(James/Lindsey/Sampson)

She was drivin' last friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Goin' home to see her Momma and her Daddy
With her baby in a back seat

Fifty miles to go and she was runnin' low
On faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was goin' way too fast

Before she knew it she was spinnin on thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared, she threw her hands up in the air

(Chorus)
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
Give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder and that car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the back seat sleepin' like a rock
For the first time in a long time she bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been livin' my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
(Repeat chorus)

2006 DARWIN AWARD WINNERS!

Darwin Awards Condoms: Keep yourself out of the gene pool.
Darwin Awards Motto: The Tree of Life is Self-Pruning.
Darwin Awards Hero: "What would Darwin do?"

2006 RUNNER UP: Copper Kite Darwin Award -- Confirmed

"One string short of a kite."

(19 March 2006, Belize) Benjamin Franklin reputedly flew his kite
in a lightning storm, going on to discover that lightning equals
electricity. However, certain precautions must be taken to avoid
sudden electrocution. Kennon, 26, replicated the conditions of
Ben Franklin's experiment, but without Ben's sensible safety
precautions. Dennon was flying a kite with a short string that
he had extended with a length of thin copper wire.

The copper made contact with a high-tension line, sending a bolt
of electrical lightning towards the man. Just bad luck?
Kennon's father told listeners his son was an electrician, and
"should have known better." Kennon is survived by his parents,
six sisters, and five brothers.


2006 RUNNER UP: Hammer of Doom Darwin Award -- Confirmed

August brought us a winner from Brazil, who tried to disassemble
a Rocket Propelled Grenade (RPG) by driving back and forth over
it with a car. This technique was ineffective, so he escalated to
pounding the RPG with a sledgehammer. The second try worked--in
a sense. The explosion proved fatal to one man, six cars, and
the repair shop wherein the efforts took place.

14 more RPG grenades were found in a car parked nearby. Police
believe the ammunition was being scavenged to sell as scrap
metal. If it wasn't scrap then, it certainly is now!


And the 2006 DARWIN AWARD Winner is...

HIGH ON LIFE: "Take a deep breath..."

(3 June 2006, Florida) Two more candidates have thrown themselves
into the running for a Darwin Award. The feet of Jason and Sara,
both 21, were found protruding from a deflated, huge helium
advertising balloon. Jason was a college student, and Sara
attended community college, but apparently their education had
glossed over the importance of oxygen.

When one breathes helium, the lack of oxygen in the bloodstream
causes a rapid loss of consciousness. Some euthanasia experts
advocate the use of helium to painlessly end one's life.

The pair pulled down the 8' balloon, and climbed inside. Their
last words consisted of high-pitched, incoherent giggling as they
slowly passed out and passed into the hereafter.

Sheriff's deputies said the two were not victims of foul play. No
drugs or alcohol were found. The medical examiner reported that
helium inhalation was a significant factor in their deaths. A
family member said "Sara was mischievous, to be honest. She liked
fun and it cost her."

Chinese New Year Open House

Chinese New Year Open House

Apparently...

24 Feb (Sat) is bad because people are working, people have exams, people need to sell themselves at garage sales, people need to celebrate birthdays (me included).

25 Feb (Sun) is bad because I say it's bad.

3 Mar (Sat) is bad because people need to enjoy their last day of Chinese New Year.

4 Mar (Sun) is no longer Chinese New Year.

Please note that owing to the less than ideal dates and times for the Chinese New Year Open House, I have decided to cancel the event.

I will be finding another day and time for a simple gathering instead.

Wishing all a happy and prosperous New Year!

The Amazing Shrinking Chicken Wing

The Amazing Shrinking Chicken Wing

With Chinese New Year around the corner and maybe with the lovely scourge called Bird Flu, I found that chicken wings sold at cooked food outlets have become more expensive (the Changi Village nasi lemak stall has raised its wing prices from $1 to $1.50 - and I do not know if it is in anticipation of the 2% hike in Goods and Services Tax. And even if it is, isn't it preposterous that a 2 cent paper increase manifests itself as a 50 cent actual increase?) or they have shrunk (the fried noodle stall in Commonwealth is selling smaller wings at $1).

Maybe there is a bout of malnutrition in chickens? Or are we already killing them for food earlier - even before H5N1 can be detected? Or worse, if I know the health authorities are cracking down on the farms, the owners simply give the order to kill, freeze and sell? Who knows? Apparently, the British human food supply seems to have been breached already.

Well, eat while they still exist. Just like bananas.

Ewwww........

Ewwww........

Someone heard this over the radio and then SMS-ed me.

"My love for you is like lau-sai (diarrhoea). I can't keep it in me any more."

Happy 32nd Birthday to Me!

Happy 32nd Birthday to Me!

Just turned 32 not long ago, if I go by time of birth.

Showering just now and reflecting on my miserable work but otherwise happy existence.

Then epiphany hit.

I don't need power and status. I only want to be happy and free.

And I think I know where I should go from here.

I hope you get run over by a bus soon!

I hope you get run over by a bus soon!

To the stupid woman SMSing on the bus and cannot stand properly when the bus is moving,

Be damned thankful that I was there to break your fall three times.

And I don't think I am rude when I tell you that if you can't stand properly (on the moving bus) you should not be SMSing on your phone after you crashed your body into my chest for the third time.

But I think you are extremely rude when you said, "Sorry IF I FALL ONTO YOU LOH!"

After that, you complained to your guy friend that you cannot stand rude people like this.

Remember this, you harlot. if I had been rude, your friend would have spoken up. But he kept quiet. He knows jolly well that I am right. Chivalry dictates that he speaks up if I had been a rogue. But he knows better. Good for him!

Subsequently, you kept hurrying him to move to the back of the bus and he had no choice but to look down at the ground and move behind. Passengers were looking. He knows and feels embarrassed for you.

But you? You righteously think you were on moral high ground. God! I wish the plague on all those who failed to teach you manners and proper behaviour. H5N1 ain't that bad either.

Anyway, I think you will make a pathetic parent and you are definitely scum of the earth.

If it has not happened yet, the title says it all.


PS. I'm sure hell will bar you from entering when you finally make it there!

Country Songs

Artist: Lawrence Tracy
Song Title: Paint Me a Birmingham
Album: Strong

He was sitting there, his brush in hand
Painting waves as they danced, upon the sand
With every stroke, he brought to life
The deep blue of the ocean, against the morning sky
I asked him if he only painted ocean scenes
He said for twenty dollars, I'll paint you anything

Could you Paint Me A Birmingham
Make it look just the way I planned
A little house on the edge of town
Porch going all the way around
Put her there in the front yard swing
Cotton dress make it, early spring
For a while she'll be, mine again
If you can Paint Me A Birmingham

He looked at me, with knowing eyes
Then took a canvas from a bag there by his side
Picked up a brush, and said to me
Son just where in this picture would you like to be
And I said if there's any way you can
Could you paint me back into her arms again?

Could you Paint Me A Birmingham
Make it look just the way I planned
A little house on the edge of town
Porch going all the way around
Put her there in the front yard swing
Cotton dress make it, early spring
For a while she'll be, mine again
If you can Paint Me A Birmingham

Paint Me A Birmingham
Make it look just the way I planned
A little house on the edge of town
Porch going all the way around
Put her there in the front yard swing
Cotton dress make it, early spring
For a while she'll be, mine again
If you can Paint Me A Birmingham

Oh paint me a Birmingham

http://www.cowboylyrics.com/lyrics/lawrence-tracy/paint-me-a-birmingham-12714.html

I am a sucker for country and soft rock. I need the story in the music to keep me interested.

The above was something I heard the first time yesterday. Only heard half the song and fell in love with it.

So simple and so delicate the pining.

Now, I want to get the CD.

Evil thoughts?

Evil thoughts?

Lots of news to read in my new job.

And lots of exciting headlines and comments which I had made a mental note to bring up to this blog and bitch about.

In the end, I decide to be kind. Misfortunes have already struck. Need I gloat? Yes. Need I tell people I'm gloating? No.

There! Keeping close my evil thoughts and then forgetting them.

Getting more saintly? Hardly. I think being too busy "helps".

Overheard

Overheard at a Conference

Excellent little speech by a caucasian speaking impeccable Mandarin, "Vinegar (cu4) is sour, being jealous (chi1 cu4) is bitter. Sour and bitter, I still can take, but hot (la4), I cannot stand it."

He was rebuking a Singaporean woman who was bragging about having sat beside a mutual friend on a long flight. She asked if he was jealous that she was sitting with other men.

I think the guy retorted well, but the "hot" part was something I disagree - given how slick he is (you2 qiang1 hua2 diao4), I'm sure he'll be able to neutralise all heat!

In Love...

In Love...

In love
two blissfully contented beings
joined in a never ending circle
of togetherness

In love
two blissfully ignorant beings
each a never ending circle
going their own direction

In love
two blissfully belligerent beings
joined in a never perfect circle
getting at each other

In love
two blissfully divergent beings
each looking for the missing bits to complete their circles
oblivious of each other

In love
two blissfully cheating beings
each having found another other
cheating on each other

In love
two blissfully married beings
not aware of...

having fallen out of love

Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts

Too busy at work to write.

Good staffers may not make good leaders. They are either too much a worker and too little a leader or they fear their positions get usurped.

When given time, people will reinvent the wheel. (It is another take of an idle mind is the Devil's workshop.)

If I do well, it does not mean you have done badly. Doing well is not a zero sum game!

TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT! It is not as though I cannot get the work done. But I cannot read your mind.

Commonsense is not very common. (Such a cliche, but still applicable!)

I am still seeking the light.

Quote of the Month

Quote of the Month

Early days yet, but I have a winning quote from a bro from NJ.

"When I try to teach, to improve someone, only to have it thrown back in my face as though I'm a total incompetent, my fuse doesn't grow short... it disappears."

The difference 20 years make

The difference 20 years make

Lest it makes me look extremely old, I am marginally on the wrong side of 30 physically. Mentally, I am probably in excess of 300 years old. Call me traditional but I have my beliefs and principles.

Went for lunch at the Geylang Serai market today. It was at the makeshift market opposite the Malay Village. The former market has been torn down to make way for a new housing development.

Geylang Serai had been a part of my growing up years. My maternal grandparents used to be fishmongers there and I dropped by during holidays to help. Or more accurately, to take a break from home. In the early 1980s, My grandparents bought a flat at the block in front of the market so that they were able to take a bath after a day of business at the market before they went home. It was never pleasant to be stared at or rejected by cabbies because of the fishy smell clinging on to the clothes. But why did these people not reject the money as well?

The market consists of a section which sells fresh or dried produce and another which sells cooked food. I won't dwell on the fresh or dried produce section today. I did not even walk near a single stall in that section but the cooked food section brought back many memories.

These memories are mine to savour and perhaps one day I may take my readers down memory lane. What I was amazed today was how much have changed in a span of 20 years.

The first thing that came to mind was price. Plain prata used to cost 40 cents each but now it costs 60 cents. Prata with egg used to be 70 cents. Now it is $1.20. Curry puffs used to go for 50 cents for a palm sized curried danish but they now cost more. And the sizes have shrunk. Nasi ayam (chicken rice) used to be $1.20. It is now $2 to $3. Oh, while my favourite drink used to be sold at 50 cents for a large glass (30 cents for a small one), it now costs $1.50 ($1). Takeaways are now in transparent cups which can be sealed at the top with a seal machine, different from the plastic carrier bags in the past. Even the straws are now "atas" (high class) compared to the easily bent flimpsy white straws. Geylang Serai has moved with the times!

Another observation was in dining habits. In the past, I would see a full set of nasi briyani (spiced rice) with mutton or chicken with an additional plate of rice to be shared between two people, I now see a full set of rice being shared between two, but with an additional serving of meat. A large plate of rice with a couple of side dishes have given way to smaller servings of rice with larger arrays and portions of sides. People are living better and eating better too.

Still on dining, in the past, most people would eat with their fingers. We now see most people eating with proper cutlery. I don't know if eating with fingers is a tradition for certain races but I do see that people have become more conscious of hygiene (I suppose) in public.

I also began to see more varieties of food. I found many many stalls selling ayam penyet (flattened fried chicken - to allow the sauces to seep more easily into the chicken flesh), one of the hottest item in Singapore at this moment. I see the almost entire embracing of the traditional Chinese cheng tng entering the culinary embraces of the Malays, I see bubur ayam (chicken porridge) too. Who would have expected that?

Even though the makeshift market is not exactly the cleanest or best designed as a cooked food place, the place is kept clean and inviting. Gone are the days where you see packets of rice tossed on the floor for the cats, curries spilled all over the table tops.

However, there are a few regrets.

I see fewer Chinese patrons. There used to be a more diverse crowd at Geylang Serai of the past. Racial integration comes most easily through food. Perhaps it is time to reintroduce the races to one another through their stomachs. I noticed the same at Kampong Glam too, by the way.

I see the repetition of a lot of popular food. I don't recall seeing the stall that sold my favourite lontong (curried vegetables and compressed rice) any more. I also could not find the few Chinese food stalls that I used to patron when I was younger. The stalls who sold my comfort food, often in stark counterpoint to the often fiery Malay dishes. There is a blind following in popular culture and this is slowly eroding away the traditional dishes of the races.

I see new faces. And some older ones. I think many torches have been passed on.

Before I went to Geylang Serai, where I eventually had my wonderful mutton briyani, ayam penyet, and roti prata meal, I remarked to my friend that we are perpeutally living in the turning point of history. This was spoken when he asked me about the furore over Saddam Hussein's execution.

I could not have spoken at a more opportune time.

LSSU 2007 List of Banished Words

Lake Superior State University 2007 List of Banished Words

GITMO -- The US military's shorthand for a base in Cuba drives a wedge wider than a split infinitive.

"When did the notorious Guantanamo Bay Naval Base change to 'Gitmo,' a word that conjures up an image of a fluffy and sweet character from a Japanese anime show?" -- Marcus W., St. Louis, Missouri.

COMBINED CELEBRITY NAMES -- Celebrity duos of yore -- BogCall (Bogart and Bacall), Lardy (Laurel and Hardy), and CheeChong (Cheech and Chong) -- just got lucky.

"It's bad enough that celebrities have to be the top news stories. Now we've given them obnoxious names such as 'Bragelina,' 'TomKat' and 'Bennifer.'" -- M. Foster, Port Huron, Michigan.

"It's so annoying, idiotic and so lame and pathetic that it's 'lamethetic.'" -- Ed of Centreville, Virginia.

AWESOME -- Given a one-year moratorium in 1984, when the Unicorn Hunters banished it "during which it is to be rehabilitated until it means 'fear mingled with admiration or reverence; a feeling produced by something majestic." Many write to tell us there's no hope and it's time for "the full banishment."

"The kind of tennis shoes you wear, no matter how cute, don't fit the majestic design of the word." -- Leila Hill, Damascus, Maryland.

"That a mop, a deodorant or a dating service can be called 'awesome' demonstrates the limited vocabularies of the country's copywriters." -- Tom Brinkmoeller, Orlando, Florida.

"Overused and meaningless.' My mother was hit by a car.' Awesome. 'I just got my college degree.' Awesome." -- Robert Bron, Pattaya, Chonburi, Thailand.

GONE/WENT MISSING -- "It makes 'missing' sound like a place you can visit, such as the Poconos. Is the person missing, or not? She went there but maybe she came back. 'Is
missing' or 'was missing' would serve us better." -- Robin Dennis, Flower Mound, Texas.

PWN or PWNED -- Thr styff of lemgendz: Gamer defeats gamer, types in "I pwn you" rather than I OWN you.

"This word is just an overly used Internet typo. It has been overused to the point that people who play online games are using it in everyday speech." -- Tory Rowley, Corunna, Michigan.

NOW PLAYING IN THEATERS -- Heard in movie advertisements. Where can we see that, again?

"How often do movies premiere in laundromats or other places besides theaters? I know that when I want to see a movie I think about going to a shoe store." -- Andrea May, Shreveport, Louisiana.

WE'RE PREGNANT -- Grounded for nine months.

"Were men feeling left out of the whole morning sickness/huge belly/labor experience? You may both be expecting, but only one of you is pregnant." -- Sharla Hulsey, Sac City, Iowa.

"I'm sure any woman who has given birth will tell you that 'WE' did not deliver the baby." -- Marlena Linne, Greenfield, Indiana.

UNDOCUMENTED ALIEN -- "If they haven't followed the law to get here, they are by definition 'illegal.' It's like saying a drug dealer is an 'undocumented pharmacist.'" -- John Varga, Westfield, New Jersey.

ARMED ROBBERY/DRUG DEAL GONE BAD -- From the news reports. What degree of "bad" don't we understand? Larry Lillehammer of Bonney Lake, Washington, asks, "After it stopped going well and good?"

TRUTHINESS -- "This word, popularized by The Colbert Report and exalted by the American Dialectic Society's Word of the Year in 2005 has been used up. What used to ring true is getting all the truth wrung out of it." -- Joe Grimm, Detroit, Michigan.

ASK YOUR DOCTOR -- The chewable vitamin morphine of marketing.

"Ask your doctor if 'fill in the blank' is right for you! Heck, just take one and see if it makes you 'fill in the blank' or get deathly ill." -- R.C. Amundson, Oakville, Washington.

"I don't think my doctor would appreciate my calling him after seeing a TV ad." -- Peter B. Liveright, Lutherville, Maryland.

CHIPOTLE -- Smoked dry over medium heat.

"Prior to 2005 . . . a roasted jalapeno. Now we have a 'chipotle' burrito with 'chipotle' marinated meat, 'chipotle' peppers, sprinkled with a 'chipotle' seasoning and smothered in a 'chipotle' sauce. Time to give this word a rest." -- Rob Zeiger, Bristol, Pennsylvania.

i-ANYTHING -- 'e-Anything' made the list in 2000. Geoff Steinhart of Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, says tech companies everywhere have picked this apple to the core. "Turn on...tune in...and drop out."

"Banish any word that starts with it. i am just tired of it. it's getting old. -- Brad Butler, Adrian, Michigan.

SEARCH -- Quasi-anachronism. Placed on one-year moratorium.

"Might as well banish it. The word has been replaced by 'google.'" -- Michael Raczko, Swanton, Ohio.

HEALTHY FOOD -- Point of view is everything.

Someone told Joy Wiltzius of Fort Collins, Colorado, that the tuna steak she had for lunch "sounded healthy." Her reply: "If my lunch were healthy, it would still be swimming somewhere. Grilled and nestled in salad greens, it's 'healthful.'"

BOASTS -- See classified advertisements for houses, says Morris Conklin of Lisboa, Portugal, as in "master bedroom boasts his-and-her fireplaces -- never 'bathroom apologizes for cracked linoleum,' or 'kitchen laments pathetic placement of electrical outlets.'"


LSSU accepts nominations for the banished-words list throughout the year. To submit your nomination for the 2008 list, go to http://www.lssu.edu/banished/submit_word.php.

Lake Superior State University is Michigan's smallest public university with an enrollment of 3,000 students. It is known for its academic programs such as fisheries and wildlife management, engineering, teacher education, nursing, criminal justice, fire science and business management.

For admissions information, go to LSSU's admissions web site, www.lssu.edu/admissions.

Scissors Sisters

Scissors Sisters

The Happy Tree Friends of pop. With their catchy tunes, it's easy to love the Scissors Sisters. But read their poison pen lyrics below. (I think it makes them even more lovable!)

Almost Sorry

If anyone was headed for the gates of hell I know you'd be first.
I used to picture your obituary and I wished you the worst.
The danger of the playground. The radio'd said you drowned.
and I'm sorry, almost. Almost sorry.
No sympathy is given to the perpetrator charged with the crime.
(Ahhh ahhh)
I'm willing to admit that it feels good to be a victim sometimes.
I won't ever get to thank you for the terrible things you said.
I'm sorry, almost, that you're-
dead to the world, where I hoped you would be.
I never imagined you'd live on in me.
You gave me destination, but I payed for the ride.
The place you punched my ticket left a crater inside.
Where I cried.
(He cried)
Where I cried.
(You died)
Where I cried from the bruises, learned to live with the scars.
Now you live in the mirror. When I look, there you are.
You're the shadow on the faces of the people I meet
Have you claimed eternal shotgun in my passenger seat?
Well, I'm sorry.
(Almost)
Almost sorry.
(Ahhh ahhh)
Sometimes the best design is done by damage.
The accident can cease.
A rainbow still looks pretty when it bleeds.



I Can't Decide Lyrics

It's not easy having yourself a good time
Greasing up those bets and betters
Watching out they don't four-letter
If I could kiss you both at the same time
Smells-like something I've forgotten
Curled up died and now it's rotten

I'm not a gangster tonight
Don't want to be a bad guy
I'm just a loner baby
And now you're gotten in my way

I can't decide
Whether you should live or die
Though, you'll probably go to heaven
Please don't hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It's cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We're going for a ride

It's a bitch convincing people to like you
If I stop now call me a quitter
If lies were cats you'd be a litter
Pleasing everyone isn't like you
Dancing jigs until I'm crippled
Slug ten drinks I won't get pickled

I've got to hand it to you
You've played by all the same rules
It takes the truth to fool me
And now you've made me angry

I can't decide
Whether you should live or die
Though, you'll probably go to heaven
Please don't hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It's cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We're going for a ride

Oh I could throw you in the lake
Or feed you poisoned birthday cake
I wont deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone
Oh I could bury you alive
But you might crawl out with a knife
And kill me when I'm sleeping
That's why

I can't decide
Whether you should live or die
Though, you'll probably go to heaven
Please don't hang your head and cry
No wonder why
My heart feels dead inside
It's cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We're going for a ride


Small wonder the radio ain't playing much of them. But honestly, I think they must have thought throgh very carefully to put together such interesting lyrics.

Some things I like

Some things I like

I am totally addicted to Crickler. I wait with bated breath for the next puzzle to be published. I read the news religiously in hope that it would help me crack the puzzle and lower my handicap score. And I have been learning new words.

I am deeply in love with the fusion/experimental/rearranged music of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. They are good.

I love watching cable TV programmes. I catch, in no particular order, Desperate Housewives, House, Grey's Anatomy, Third Watch (on and off), Doc Martin, Strong Medicine, ER (showing now), Scrubs, and almost anything good between 7 pm to 10 pm each day.

I like country music and classical pop. Soft rock (ballads) and sentimentals too. Anything with good lyrics will get my attention first. Tunes do not matter that much. But if both lyrics and tune are good, they enter my favourites list.

I love a good cup of Chinese tea.

I would love to have stretches where I have nothing to do except to curl up and read a book. I want to lose myself in a world offered to me by another person, a world where decisions need not be made myself. I just want to feel the flow and ebb of emotions through the characters in the story. I can do without the guilty feeling from a bad decision sometimes.

I like my work. It sustains me and pays me. And it is an avenue where I grow professionally.

I like a good puzzle that challenges me sufficiently, makes me think but allows me to succeed in the end.

I like singing along to songs I know. In a way, the song is a conduit to my days past, allowing me to reminisce and relive those days.

I love a hot cup of strong coffee in the morning. There is nothing better to wake me up.

I love the way I can ad-lib in a blog and not worry about structure or subtance. I can be myself and not live up to what others expect of me. The true state of my mind is in a state of agitated, accelerated Brownian motion. Thoughts are flying around and then they slow down, vibrate in their places a little and then the pattern changes again.

I love change and I love to hate change.

I like chatting with friends who share my belief system and values. I like to have my biases measured against similar thinkers to see how far off I am from rationality.

I like analysing things I see or experience or feel. I want to know that my hunch is correct.

I like projects that start suddenly and ends as quickly. Long drawn processes bore me.

I like changing my mind. So don't be surprised if this list changes right after I publish it.

Stocktake 2006

Stocktake 2006

I've delayed this stocktake for a long time. Either the internet connection was too slow (maybe thanks to the Taiwan earthquake that affected the submarine fibre optic cables) or I was too busy. Sometimes I was not in the mood to take on the massive task of pondering over the past 365 days. I kept telling myself that I have until 31 Dec 06. Now that I am barely 40 minutes before the new year arrives, I am going to mull over what I have done for the past 525 600 minutes (that is a year measured in minutes).

This may be a very fragmented entry, just like the episodes that pepper my life are. The only continuity is life. It flows like a smooth curtain of water and the events are like stones thrown at the water screen. There are splashes, some big, some small and most fade away, just like the curtain is restored after the disturbance dies down. I had earlier wanted to do a line-item stocktake but it would read like a never ending laundry list. Perhaps I should summarise the takeaways for 2006 instead.

I have a better understanding of the idea of work-life balance. I have also become better at achieving work-life balance. I have time for myself to do the things I like, I have learnt to take in information and news in tandem to the work I have to do. I have learnt to separate work and my private life well. I try my level best to keep it that way and whenever I had to work in my spare time, I know that such work is justified.

I have found a better equilibrium with my surroundings. This is a little difficult to explain but it is the innate sense of security that provides you with a protective. I don't feel invincible but I am more at peace with not having to prove what I am capable of.

I have lost even more rough edges. And with that, I am less piqued or angry with events that do not go as planned or with things which should but do not come my way. There are some things that I know I need to influence indirectly and so I try to make the best of the situation and steer it back. It is hard but it is a skill that needs to be honed.

And I have completed thinking about my next 5 years. It will be exciting!

Negation

Negation

Invitations open for anyone game enough to try negating the following statement.

Original statement

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. - Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice.

My negation

There is at least a married man with misfortune who must be in want to get rid the wife.

Black Humour

Black Humour

Watched Scrubs on Christmas and a part of the show had this little ditty. It is Christmas in the eyes of an Emergency Room resident.

Twelve Days Of Christmas: Sacred Heart Version:
On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A drunk who drove into a tree

On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Two shattered skulls
And a drunk who drove into a tree...

Twelve beaten children
Eleven drive-by shootings
Ten frozen homeless
Nine amputations
Eight burn victims
Seven strangled shoppers
Six random knifings
Five suicides
Four beaten wives
Three O.D.'s
Two shattered skulls
And a drunk who drove into a tree

Something Christmassy

Something Christmassy

I've spent Christmas or the period before overseas but never in the northern hemisphere in the west. Even though the planes that I flew in had seasonal decorations like little wreaths tied to the windows, the feel is very different when you get surrounded by the Christmas spirit entirely.

This time around, when I visited US, it was already Christmas season and everywhere was decked out and ready for the Christmas holidays.

On the radio, Christmas carols and songs were played almost non-stop. Douglas fir was seen outside many houses. The more creative owners put out lit caricatures such as the deer, the Nativity scene, and Santa Claus. Christmas was in the air.

In New York, the Macy's shop windows were so well-decorated that shoppers and revellers alike stopped to ogle at the wonderful set-up and incredible feats of small scale large scale engineering (a lot of engineering works within a small frame). People were carrying shopping bags and everyone looked as if they can't wait for Christmas to come.

In DC, there were Christmas trees decked out with lights and livery in the lawn in front of the White House. Unfortunately, I was not aware of the significance of those trees and missed them. Apparently, there was a big tree and 49 smaller trees. That I know. What I didn't know what that the 49 smaller trees were decked out with the produce of the individual states to represent the state outside the White House. What a waste. The only consolation was that the fog came when we arrived at the tree at about 10 in the night. We would not have been able to get a good look.

Wreathes were laid at the Arlington Cemetary, a sight we missed. Instead, we had a great time at the Iwo Jima memorial. And we got a fresh prespective of the Federal Triangle and its buildings from across the Potomac River. Interesting, indeed.

This year, I found out about the Trans Siberian Orchestra. I became a fan and listened to their recordings even back home. Now that Christmas is over, I'm keeping the discs till the next year.

Christmas 2006 has great and I hope for more great Christmases to come.

Bread Maker

Bread Maker

Finally, after months and months of reminiscing about my gorgeous bread, I bought myself a bread maker machine.

I am still in the midst of experimenting with the machine but I'm pleased to say that the experimental loaves are still nice. The touch is still there. Now it is to keep the loaves from collapsing during baking.

That will take a little time to figure out exact proportions.

Just the important points

Just the Important Points

I had intended to write a lot more about my trip to the East Coast but life stood in the way. I cannot believe it but LIFE indeed stood in the way.

For some reason, I could not convince myself to sit by the computer and write. I just had to get moving, get things done. If I'm at the computer, I'm playing Crickler.

Still, there are some important people whom I met during my trip that deserves mention.

In no particular order, the following people made a difference.

1. BL, MZ, Lucy and Schroeder. You guys know who you are. Thank you for:
Picking us up at the train station. It wasn't much of a station but pulling up in that tank of a car really made my eyes pop out.
Bringing us to a welcome dinner at McLoones, beside the Atlantic Ocean. It was beautiful although the sun had set.
The wonderful room to rest our "soles/souls" and the completely furbished toilet.
The daily breakfasts. We enjoyed going "In Between" and having the gorgeous eggs benedict smothered with lots of cheese.
Your city tour. It had been interesting learning about your home state. I only wish I had more time there.
Bringing us to Whole Foods. You guys are responsible for my supermarket withdrawal symptoms. And cooking dinner after that.
Making the Circle Line NYC cruise happen. It was one of the best highlights of the trip.
Showing us what your town was named after. And having dinner at the diner beside it.
Zipping us around in your Corvette.
Sending us to the airport.
Being such gracious hosts who have set the bar so high.

2. The manager of the NYC hotel for giving me a letter to indirectly say that I've been cheated by some unscrupulous internet booking agent. The agent took my money and then cancelled my booking. From what I last heard, the agent owed the hotel in excess of hundreds of thousands of unpaid room reservations.

3. The many people with whom we only had a fleeting encounter.

4. The day manager of the Washington DC hotel. Your kind heartedness was definitely not appreciated - at least when I was making my way to Union Station and pulling my luggage along the less than pleasant upslope, you were definitely well-cursed.

5. The DC Metro duty manager for letting me use the toilet.

6. The excellent guide on the NYC cruise, for making the entire 90 minute cruise a joy. Thank you for sharing your hometown with us.

Eating in US

Eating in US

It's always an incredible experience eating at US diners or restaurants. The portions are always that huge. I normally have problems with a standard 3 course meal (starter, main course, dessert). I normally have at most 2 of the three and I may not even finish the carbo on the main.

There were a few great dishes that I just want to list up here. Many of them were not found in Singapore.

Roast/BBQ Chicken - For some reason, chicken in US tastes excellent. They taste like they are semi-kampung chicken. The meat is firm but extremely succulent. It is one great dish to order any time.

Pork chops/ribs - Incredibly flavoursome and tender cuts. There is something about US pigs that keeps their meat free from the odour that curse Australian pork. The cuts are generally generous and they will never taste dry or hard, like what we normally get in SIngapore.

Fish - salmon and tuna are generally superior. Had a pan seared tuna with wasabi potato at McLoone's (a restaurant right on the Atlantic coast in New Jersey). The rare tuna was incredible.

Vegetables - sweet, juicy, flavoursome. How else does one describe the wonderful produce there?

Bagels - my Archilles' heel. I love my bagel and can eat a couple of them in a sitting. Then I overheard from some yakking women that a bagel is equal to five slices of bread. Ok, time to shut out my mind. I will walk out to get my bagel with scallion cream cheese. I will walk out to get my bagel with scallion cream cheese...

Pizzas - Pretty amazing stuff, those pizzas. There are a lot of Americans with Italian ancestry. If anything, they have perfected their breads and cheeses well.

Desserts - to die for. What else do I say?

Is everything all good? Not exactly. There were some misses too, but in general, the good stuff are more what we get.

I've got to stop writing this. I am feeling so hungry now.

Chasing Trains

Chasing Trains

Our first host is a rail road enthusiast. He had written about 30 books about trains and aptly, for the next morning, he brought the two of us to New Hope, Pennsylvania to "chase" a historical engine making short excursion trips for visitors.

We did not take any rides on the train - I was not entirely excited, knowing that I would be taking return train rides to Washington DC later - and the timing was a little late. By the time we had our brunch and had driven about a couple of hours to New Hope, the next available train ride was going to be the 3.30 pm. I really dread losing whatever daylight I have remaining from the tremendously short winter days.

Host thus brought us to places beside the tracks where we could take great pictures of the historic engine as it comes past.

In fact, we chased it all the way back to the originating station at New Hope and then followed it to "North Pole", where Santa Claus boarded and distributed candies and hugs to the kids, to Buckingham, the end station where the trained turned round.

While I am no rail road buff, I knew just enough to keep conversation.

And for the record, the standard gauge track is 4 feet 8.5 inches. It is an ancient measurement. In fact, it is the distance between two the assholes of two horses placed side by side. This goes all the way back to the Roman days. So what we rely on for a great form of transportation today still depends on something used centuries ago.

Train chasing was interesting and it was an immense test of the patience. You must trust that the trains were going to run, if a bit early or late. And get your camera and get ready to shoot. Me? I prefer a ring side seat in the car.

Where had NYC gone?

Where had NYC gone?

When I last visited NYC in Aug, I flew in on a direct flight to Newark.

As the plane approached Newark, I had an excellent view of NYC. It was majestic looking steel and concrete city. The buildings were shimmering under the setting sun and it looked so un-San Francisco. I couldn't think of a better comparison then. I still can't. It is about the densest built up city I have seen. The tall sky scrapers and the shorter buildings that fill in all the gaps in between simply made any photo opportunity a good one.

When the plane turned to land, I had a sneak peak of Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty. While she looked smaller than a thumb nail, the green copper oxide covered statue is obvious to anyone who has seen images of the SOL before. The Land of the Free. It felt amazing to visit the US again, having just gone to the west coast in Jul.

So, with those fond memories in mind, this visit, my travelling partner (TP) and I booked ourselves on the port side seats and waited to take the long awaited shots at NYC.

Guess what! As it was winter, the days were very short. When we arrived, NYC was lit up with street lights and nothing could be seen from the plane. We landed in almost pitch black darkness, the (early) night punctuated by guiding lights on the ground. When we finally touched down, the cabin was slightly illuminated with the lights along the highway.

TP was disappointed. I felt cheated.

But hey, who am I to fight nature?

USA 8 - 17 Dec 06

USA 8 - 17 Dec 06

Visited New Jersey, New York City and Washington DC.

During the trip, I took down interesting events to blog about but as luck would have it, I misplaced the list. I should have known better than to take notes on a piece of paper napkin from the Chinese buffet restaurant in NYC. No harm still, I suppose. This is after all a ranting ground - I'll be damned if I had written anything more important.

So what I intend to do is perhaps to do a segmented running commentary of some of the more interesting things that registered in my then tired and cluttered mind. What I cannot recall is probably not worth remembering.

The Nightmare

The Nightmare

I ditched writing this post just now when I realised that the airline did not allocate me the seat that I was asking for. The back end service is getting atrocious. I really dread to be offered endless "beef" meals again on the flight.

The Singapore-Newark sector is notorious for beef meals. It is like going on a mad-cow flight. Lunch, there is a beef dish and something else. Dinner, there is a beef dish and something else. Breakfast, beef noodles and something else. Something else is normally not savoury and I really really don't take beef. So I had to get my travel agent to help. Let's hope she can do better than me.

Well, back to the nightmare. I know to call it the nightmare is a little overdramatic but if I tell you that I am flying out to Newark tomorrow, you might indulge me a little.

It was night and I was near my former junior college when I saw a plane take off, fly in my direction and started wobbling. It was dipping up and down and before long, it came into view. It was a weird plane. It has two propellers mounted on top of the roundish plane and something like an extended passenger cabin below.

It was painted in familiar livery. The next thing, the plane dipped and crashed. There was no smoke, no explosion, no fire.

I remember running to the long staircase where I saw a lot of people standing by the side of the road opposite it. On the slope, there were charred pieces of the broken up plane. Some smoke was billowing out from the burnt pieces.

Suddenly, the sky was lit with flares and I awoke suddenly.

Don't ask me how or why things turned out this way. The last I saw a plane act this way was when the hydraulics were entirely disrupted and the plane has lost all ability to be steered. And autopilot will cause the plane to move in a sinusoidal manner in order to maintain height and fight granvity.

Still, it is very weird that I should have dreams like these. It is really a nightmare I could do without.

But well, I'm just going to do my packing tonight and get ready for my trip.

Que sera sera. What will be, will be.

Teach me how to dump

Teach me how to dump

- Dedicated to someone who knows who she is -

How does a partner in a relationship end the relationship?

I think this is a very challenging question to answer. It is easier to answer questions such as "Under what conditions should a couple consider break up?" or "When do I know I should dump him or her?" But this is not the reason for the post.

I believe there are many ways of saying those words. Perhaps we need to point out what is troubling us and how we think the issue will lead to irreconcilable difference in the end.

Character

After a quarrel, you will know whether you are still compatible. If after quarrelling, both sides can put aside the differences and go for a meal, then there is a chance. If halfway through, someone storms off or chases the other away, end it.

What to say: I do not think we are able to communicate effectively. When we quarrel, we are impervious to reason and I do not think we will be able to go on in the relationship since we will be quarrelling more often as we get to know each other better. And if we cannot get past knowing each other, we should find someone else whom we can better relate to. Goodbye.

Money

If both are penny pinching and fair, it is ok. If both are generous, it is ok. If one is generous and does not expect returns, it is ok. If one is petty and fair, it is ok. If one is dishonest, end it.

What to say: Darling, I'm broke. Because you have been spending a lot of money and I have also had to spend money on you, my finances have been cut off because I am told I am not supposed to throwing all the money into this relationship. A relationship cannot be sustained by money alone. If you think it can, you'll have to start supporting me from now. Otherwise, I think we need to reconcile our expenses in our own way and I need to regain my financial standing soon. Can you? No? Goodbye.

Habits

If there is no way to accept or break the partner's habits and they are bothering you, then it will only get worse as the relationship progresses and one starts taking the other for granted. Especially if the habit has progressed to a point where you really cannot stand it any more.

What to say: It's my way or the highway. Your choice. In any case, I've chosen the highway. Goodbye.

n-Timing, where n > 1

If your partner cheats on you, then it may be time. It really depends on how tolerant you want to be.

What to say: Goodbye.

You've Lost That Loving Feeling

By and by, the fireworks will die out. The passion may die off. The libidoes wane. The groin doesn't get excited anymore. You need to decide if this is the person you can spend your life with or not. Because spending your life with someone does not require the loving feeling all the time. There should be just enough embers to last. You can't burn high and nigh all the time. Even the grandest bonfires burn out.

What to say: If you no longer feel for me, then do you want a time out?

Poor Sex

What to say: Darling, I'm a slut. Dump me, please.

This will drive you nuts!

This will drive you nuts!

This is taken from T F Stern's website. He called it harmless entertainment. I suppose I agree.

The object of the game is to move the red block around without getting hit by the blue blocks or touching the black walls. If you can go longer than 18 seconds you are phenomenal. It's been said that the US Air Force uses this for fighter pilots. They are expected to go for at least 2 minutes. Give it a try but be careful...it is addictive!!

http://tinyurl.com/56t9u

Have fun!

If oil ran out a minute ago...

If oil ran out a minute ago...

Would there be a mad rush to fill up the vehicles with petrol?

What will become of air travel?

How will we learn knowledge, since almost everything we found out after the invention of the internet were placed in cyberspace?

Will it still be necessary to go to work?

What shall we plant?

How do we make chickens roam freely again? Currently and apparently, reared chickens are injected with growth hormones and they have to be killed after about 40 days after hatching. Failing which, they die of cardiac arrest. (I hear stories like these but never corroborated them.)

What will actors and electricians do?

Will fanatics drill into every inch of the Earth to check if oil indeed ran out a minute ago?

What will Green Peace protest next?

Lift Messages

Lift Messages

Where I work, the lift has a display and each day, there is a different message being shown.

Some examples are:

Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought.

Think every word you speak, do not speak every thing you think.

A mind is like a parachute - it works best when it is open.

The mind is not a vessel to be filled; it is a fire to be kindled.

Each day, lift users get some nugget of wisdom to think about and the past week was particularly interesting. The examples above were all shown last week and there is a common idea that ran through them - thoughts.

A person's thoughts can tell us a lot about him, if we are able to live in his mind and know what he is thinking about. However, we can't do that. We are forced to decide on how a man decides to translate those thoughts into words or other action.

I cannot help but think about the idea of being "lost in translation".

I vividly recall a story where a superior wrote a damning performance report for a subordinate right before she left. Yet when the subordinate came over and bade her goodbye not long after, the two hugged and the superior thanked the other and asked her to take care. What was going through the mind of the superior?

Was it a customary goodbye gesture or did it reek of hypocrisy? I don't have any idea. I'm struggling with staying true to my beliefs and showing how my actions are congruent with my beliefs. And believe me, it is already a constant struggle. I suppose people do not call the society a large dye pool for nothing.

I hope to just leave this question for reflection: How does one rationalise one's thoughts and the manifestations of those thoughts?

GST Increase

GST Increase

The government has announced its intention to raise the Goods and Services Tax from the current 5% to 7%.

I think I'll start spending my money overseas.

Value Add

Value Add

We ask for reports from others, only to rework on them to "value add".

Or do we just reinvent the wheel?

Random Tidbits

Random Tidbits

1. I saw the human version of Chicken Little. I even saw the resemblance between his dad and the animation character. I think the animators have figured out heredity before the biologists.

2. We care too much about people whom we don't even see but we give no second thought to the people right beside us. Advancements in telecommunication have led to a degeneration of our inter-personal communication skills.

3. In the past, we got an education before we become educated. Now, we try to educate without giving an education.

4. How very hard we try to live up to our own expectations, the very expectations projected on you from the powers that be, which we erroneously assimilate as our own. And then how even harder we try to justify that we are living for ourselves.

I'll be dammed

I'll be dammed!

An interesting email I received.

- Start of message -

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.

This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.

(State's letter) SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department’s files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel.

All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2005.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price

District Representative, Land and Water Management Division





This is the actual response sent back:

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/04 has been handed to me to respond in regarding to the above mentioned file.

I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan.

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is:

(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers... or

(2) Do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through The Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Ac t, Act451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is... aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation, so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.

If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers, but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter... they being unable to read English. In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond.

If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2005? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

Thank You, Ryan DeVries & The Dam Beavers

- End of message -

Fly, Little Kiwi

Fly, Little Kiwi

Saw the Youtube sharing on Kyle Bennett's blog and it provoked some deep thoughts.

Thought I'll share it with you.

"Spiderman, Spiderman..."

"Spiderman, Spiderman..."

Was at the doctor's yesterday. My pillow ran away the night before and left me with a terribly sore neck. Couldn't turn my neck, couldn't raise my arm.

So back to the doctor's.

I got my number and was told to expect a two-and-a-half hour wait. So waiting is such a chore, yet it can be therapeutic.

It's a chore because impatient people like me don't really like to wait.

Therapeutic because it never fails to console me that there are people who are in a worse shape than me.

And then there was this imp of a boy. Irritated the sh*t out of his mother. From the instance they both stepped in, the entire clinic was filled with the boy's singing, complaints, whining and the mum's questioning, threatening and complaints.

The boy kept going "Spiderman, Spiderman, I can see your underwear..." and the mum kept asking "Who taught you this? Tell me, who taught you this?"

There was even a time when she asked "Did you teacher teach you this?"

My eyes nearly popped out as my innate defences towards the teaching profession were awakened. Surprising, even though I've not taught for more than 2 years. Duh!? You think the kindergarten teacher would do something that dumb?

Imp asked to visit the toilet after that. And as I was seated outside the dental section of the clinic, which happens to be near the toilet, I could hear the exchange in the loo.

"Make sure you hold your pants high. Wait you get it wet. (Whine) Stand properly! If you drop into the hole, I'll walk out of the room. I'm not telling you (whine), I'm WARNING you. Aim properly. (Whine) Ok. Done? Dry it, dry it."

By then I went, duh... as though there is a piston inside the dick that will expunge every single drop of pee. There is bound to be a little leftover, which will eventually leak out (there is really extremely little in reality) and get deposited in the underwear. What's the big deal? Duh!

And hand washing time. "Hold my bag. Hold my bag. (Laughter) Hold properly. If everything drop out, you'll get it from me..."

Aiyoh, my neck is so painful and this is giving me a headache.

Resume Spiderman song.

Then the mum started a new front of attack.

"Are you sure you're sick or not? If you bluff me like the last time, I'll spank you."

"Really got pain."

Wah! Amazing leh! That imp has a sore throat and is still able to make noise NON-STOP. I wonder why choir kids always tell me they cannot sing because they got CCA-day sore throats. (Actually, I knew all along that the "sore throat kids" would not sing because they could not hold a tune to save their lives. But I won't bust their covers.)

And so, after a good two-hour of entertainment, imp's turn came. Nearly. When the patient before went to see the doc, imp needed to go to the toilet again. This time, he did big business.

Despite the mum telling the receptionists to hold the doctor for her son.

Alas, the next patient went into the consultation room before the winds movement ended in the loo.

But fortunately, he came out and went in as the next patient.

Peace was restored.

Life, the Universe and Everything... One

Life, the Universe and Everything... One

I took these questions from Probligo's blog, with his permission. Answers are mine though.

1. Why is there poverty and suffering in the world?

Hey there! What is your problem? Is poverty and suffering bad? How many people have gotten RICH and FAMOUS exploiting the poor and the suffering? And what is physical poverty and suffering when even more are tortured by mental and spiritual poverty and suffering?

2. What is the relationship between science and religion?

Depends on the religion. For some, science debunked religion. For some, science and religion are congruent. For some, religion is science.

3. Why are so many people depressed?

Many? Not enough are depressed, in my opinion.

4. What are we all so afraid of?

Our imagination. Don't we make up and tell ourselves of what we should be afraid?

5. When is war justifiable?

You let me know when. Then I'll wage personal war on you and take everything you have.

6. How would God want us to respond to aggression and terrorism?

Why isn't god doing what he is supposed to do? I'm not his militant, you know!

7. How does one obtain true peace?

Drink a lot of water? Honestly, just don't give a damn.

8. What does it mean to live in the present moment?

Nothing.

9. What is our greatest distraction?

Huh?

10. Is current religion serving its purpose?

Did past religion serve its purpose? If so, what was the purpose? If not, why bother?

11. What happens to you after you die?

You stop living.

12. Describe Heaven and how to get there.

Heaven has everything that you would want and nothing that you don't want. Eventually.

13. What is the meaning of life?

Why do you breathe?

14. Describe god.

Describe you own mind. Can you?

15. What is the greatest quality humans possess?

Enormous stupidity.

16. What is it that prevents people from living to their full potential?

Nothing. People live to or fail to live to their full potential on their own merit. Nothing can prevent them.

17. Non-verbally, by motion or gesture only, act out what you believe to be the current condition of the world.

Kinked index finger.

18. What is your one wish for the world?

That oil ran out a minute ago.

19. What is wisdom, and how do we gain it?

Wisdom is a sigh. We can gain it when we can hold the sigh in our hands.

20. Are we all One?

Will you give me all your money?

Head Hunted

Head Hunted

Got a call from a head hunting agency on my second day in my new job.

He was looking for a group executive director with 14 years working experience.

I can only yearn and sigh.

But this is a good start, no?

New Job

New Job

Reported to my new work place yesterday.

I've left my comfort zone to another discomfort zone.

The discomfort is less than when I first went over to the job I just left.

I know I would be able to manage my work here but looks like this new job is going to sap a lot of my time.

I am looking for directions. And I think the new workplace has a "busy, fiery" fengshui. Not too good for work - I hate being perpetually busy fighting fires.

Changed Links

Changed Links

After reading Kyle Bennett's blog today, I finally stopped dragging ass and changed a few links.

It's faster getting out there from there than to constantly hub out of Al's site.

Still, I'll be contributing to his traffic because he is too good to miss.

Should crimes that were committed many years ago simply be forgotten?

Should crimes that were committed many years ago simply be forgotten?

"They're called bui-doi, the dust of life
Conceived in hell and born in strife
They are the living reminder of all the good we failed to do" - Miss Saigon

The lyrics taken from the famous musical, Miss Saigon, reflected the "crimes" the United States Marines committed while they fought the Vietnam War. Marines, bored of their fighting and of life, kept mistresses or visited prostitutes and fathered many children. These children could never gain acceptance in Vietnam or in the United States - they were not dark enough to be Vietnamese or fair enough to be white Americans. As a result, they are dumped in orphanages and neglected. It took a while before the war lobbies realized that there were sex crimes committed and they needed remediation.

Immigration laws were relaxed, which allowed some of these children to be reunited with their biological fathers. However, not that many Vietnamese mothers were lucky enough to go over to chase their American dreams like their children managed to.

The United States faced up to the crimes committed by their soldiers and tried to compensate for their soldiers' actions. Clearly, the crimes committed many years ago were not forgotten, even though they could easily pretend that they were.

Japan, in contrast, is struggling to come to terms with its belligerent past. To the Japanese government, the atrocities of the Second World War *should* be forgotten. However, nations invaded by Japan never allowed her government to forget their transgressions. They protested and rallied every time the former Japanese prime ministers went to pay respects to the "heroes" at the war shrine. The crux of their unhappiness? A few war criminals were also buried at the shrine and the Japanese prime ministers' act showed that Japan was not remorseful of its violent past. Japanese authorities have also tried to downplay their past brutalities by changing their history textbooks to avoid mention of their past actions, such as massacres. This also drew much flak from countries like China and Korea, whose people bore the brunt of most hostilities.

Japan's "defiance" is even harder to accept given the fact that Germany had taken active steps to educate its people of its less-than-glorious past and its resolve not to commit future acts of violence.

War aside, other crimes committed in other arena should also serve as lessons for those who intend take the crooked path. The Baring's Bank scandal where a rogue trader siphoned off millions of dollars to pay for his debts and, in the process bankrupted the bank, should not be forgotten. False accounting and reporting, which led to the downfall of corporate giants like Enron, should never be forgotten. From the world shaking terrorist acts to the petty crimes, for as long as there are important lessons to be drawn from them, these crimes should not be forgotten.

"And of course he now denies it (that he was a criminal)
You'd expect it from a crook" - Inspector Javert, Les Miserables

In Les Miserables, Inspector Javert believes that a criminal will always remain a criminal and should never be given any reprieve. He devoted his life to tracking down Jean Valjean, a man who stole a loaf of bread to feed his dying sister, jailed twenty years for his crime, and then released on parole. Jean truly turned over a new leaf after he was let go by a priest despite stealing some silverware from the priest. He did good and his actions benefited his society. But Javert could not believe that a "bad" man could have a good side.

This is then one dilemma of life. If crimes should not be forgotten, then how do criminals, especially petty criminals, get on with life? The stigma of having committed a crime stays with them for the longest time and these ex-convicts suffer a lot of discrimination in their quests to resume to normal living. Many of them are unable to get jobs.

Singapore is currently promoting its Yellow Ribbon Campaign. The idea from the English evergreen "Tie a Yellow Ribbon (Round the Old Oak Tree)". The campaign aims to educate the public that a convict who has turned over a new leaf and is willing to start afresh is a "good man" once over.

Many companies support this campaign by changing their job application forms by not asking for the job applicants' past convictions. The government has also chipped in to quash the records of past offenders if they were convicted of less serious offences.

This campaign has helped to alleviate some difficulties of ex-prisoners in their job quest. However, time is needed for the campaign to show its effectiveness. Nonetheless, this is a positive development for the ex-offenders who have truly turned over new leaves.

While the crime committed many years ago should not forgotten, the criminal could be forgiven.

General Paper Essay Questions

General Paper Essay Questions

1) Is there still a place for charity in today's world?
2) 'A picture is always more powerful than mere words.' What is your view?
3) Does modern technology always improve the quality of people's lives?
4) 'National boundaries make little geographical or economic sense nowadays.' Discuss.
5) Should crimes that were committed many years ago simply be forgotten?
6) How far is your country prepared for future crises?
7) 'The world would be a better place if everyone spoke the same language.' Disucss.
8) To what extent do young people in your society take an interest in politics?
9) 'Entrepreneurship is just another name for personal greed.' How far do you agree with this statement?
11) 'Women will never enjoy the same rights as men.' Do you agree?
12) To what extent do the newspapers and magazines that you read deal with what is trivial, rather than with what is important?

These questions are all very open ended and they should elicit responses that cover at least three or four other aspects. I would have chosen questions 4, 5 or 6. Few candidates would do them but this would mean that it could be easier to shine.

The farewell note

The farewell note

Toyed with the idea of a farewell note.

I had drafted the contents already.

But it cannot see the light of day.

So there will be no farewell note.

There will, however, be a notice of posting out without mention of goodbye.

There is a significance too: How do I say goodbye when I was never here?

Posting Out

Posting Out

Clearing my pin-up board. I saw two phrases - let go, introspection - and was dazed for a while.

Tried remembering the context of the two phrases.

I did speak about these to a colleague. I shared how I came to be at peace.

Last Day

Last Day

My last day of work here.

I'm at peace. Have been at peace for a long time.

Counting down.

The world will be a better place if everyone spoke the same language.

The world will be a better place if everyone spoke the same language.

Another General Paper question which asked candidates to discuss.

Definitely a question for the Arts students. This is such a wide-ranging question that almost anything goes.

1. Advantages of speaking the same language
a. Technological standardisation: a flight almost crashed because volumetric measures (imperial ounces and litres) were misunderstood by different ground crew accustomed to their own practice. The plane took off with severely insufficient fuel.
b. The world as a global village will shrink into a global house: people are able to communicate among themselves that all transactions, especially financial, can be carried out efficiently
c. Medical sciences will evolve evenly: common language means common understanding, which means knowledge can be shared quickly and efficiently.
d. School children can have a common syllabus. (Is that really good?)

The list can go on but what price do we pay for getting a common language?

2. Disadvantages
a. Cultural erosion
b. Loss of nuances
c. Foreign language literature made obsolete
d. What should the common language be? Apparently, one was proposed but it never took off.
e. Assimilation issues - adoption of a common language will bring about a lot of turmoil, especially for things that are lost in translation. Case in point - the standardisation of European currencies to the Euro already caused so much problems. Britain, Switzerland refused to join in. A common ASEAN currency may not even happen. So how do a common language come about?

Conclude by suggesting why your stand (for or against) is superior to the other. (I would say that the world would NOT be a better place, but that's me.)

Timeshare Cartel

Timeshare Cartel

Just went to sit through a timeshare stupid nonsense yesterday. I made it clear that when I plan to take a holiday, I won't tolerate any uncertainty for bookings or dates. I am also willing to spend money to enjoy myself rather than waste them to keep timeshare fraudsters in jobs. Of course, they insisted they were not selling timeshare.

Less than 40 minutes into the meeting, the representative hastily ended the discussion. Friend was given the free watch, free 4D3N stay at Lijiang Sina Hotel (I can't even find it on the web), and $80 spa voucher.

Afternoon today, someone called me to sell me Marriott Vacation Club and asked me to sit in a 90-minute presentation. And then I can either get $100 Taka voucher or $125 Marriott Dining Voucher. Guess what? I have written to MVC to complain. If I get another call, I shall report them to the police and CASE.

I half believe the company we spurned last night sent over my number to this new company. Very simply because my Marriott membership contains only a number that I know. And it's not my office number.

Does modern technology always improve the quality of people's lives?

Does modern technology always improve the quality of people's lives?

This question is quite evil but it above came out in this year's General Paper AO Levels. I think this is extremely well-packaged - candidates can't fail this badly but they will be hard pressed to do well. How would I answer it?

This question needs to be analysed in several parts:

1. Modern technology - Not technological advances but merely modern technology. What is modern? Is the heart-lung machine used for heart transplants modern technology or is it a form of technological advancement?

2. Quality of life - what constitutes quality of life? In the past, before the concept of a global village, is living happily in your small little village lacking in "quality"? Now that we all dwell in residental apartments (or the metaphorical cages), what is "quality"?

3. Improvements - to claim that there is an improvement, there must be some agreed baseline. What is this baseline? Who decides how high or low the baseline must be?

4. Comparability - to claim that modern technology do not always improve the quality of life, the chosen modern technology must both improve and deteriorate quality of life, such as internet and email (information accessibility vs information overload, addiction), technology to harness nuclear energy (Diagnostic radiology vs Chernobyl vs North Korea's recent test), life sustenance systems (discuss the living dead), technology that enables genetic engineering (defect prevention vs designer babies, genetically modified food - disease resistance vs rapid growth), transportation (accessibility and expansion vs pollution). Also magnificent technology that are inherently adverse to human quality of life, e.g. intercontinental ballistic missiles.

This is my essay plan. Will I choose this question? Probably not. I'm not technologically inclined, however tempting and interesting the question is.

Do you sometimes...?

Do you sometimes...?

... feel like applauding when a particularly badly behaved child running about in a supermarket knocks into a pillar or a shelf and fall?

... feel like walking up to and slapping a precocious, attention-seeking child who is screaming at the top of its voice?

... have the urge to buy the whole lot of fruits on sale because they all look so ripe, juicy and sweet?

... have the urge to give up everything so that you can go a-wandering?

... have vivid recollections of a particular event that you thought you've forgotten and then get tormented by the things you said and did as the deja vu drifts past?

... wish you were richer/healthier/better looking, just only so that you may get better opportunities in life?

... resent the fact that you were born (despite you not asking to be born)?

... think that life's unfairness exists to punish you and solely you?

... want to tell the blabbering idiot to just shut the f**k up?

... suddenly want to get married but then you decide that being single was still better?

... crave for pizza (or some food) and when it is served, you lose all interest?

... wish that there were more violence now, so that there might be more peace later?

... wonder why people delight in killing other people, and then regret that it is not in your culture to murder the people you hate?

... wish you could be an adult sooner/become a child again?

... hope that you could have more money than you can spend?

... wish you could be somebody else? (Brad Pitt works for me.)

... yearn for freedom and then do not know what to do with it?

... want to lie down at some exotic seaside in the Bahamas and watch life go by?

... want to go with a big bang, like in an explosion in an aircraft in midair?

... envy or want to be Singapore's sex goddess Annabel Chong? (I do!)

... wish you could trade your brains/looks for some looks/brains?

... wish it was longer, thicker, and harder?

... desire things that are not yours?



If not one of your answers is "YES", I believe I have dead readers!

25 Iraqi Dinar

25 Iraqi Dinar

A colleague who was posted in a season ago gave many of us a 25 Iraqi Dinar note each and told us that in Iraq's hey day, each dinar was worth 3 to 4 Singapore Dollars.

He had just completed his tour with the UN peacekeepers and he came back, apparently loaded with now worthless dinars.

Saddam has been sentenced to hang.

I now await my souvenir 25-dinar note to grow.

How exciting the prospect of getting nothing to become S$75.

The Alignment Test

The Alignment Test

Took the test after reading it on Old Whig's Blog

You are 69.4% Good.
You are 10.3% Lawful.

Alignment: Neutral Good

You do the best good that a person could be expected to do. You are devoted to helping others. You are willing to work with authority figures, but you do not feel any particular allegiance to them.

You are the stereotypical "Benefactor". You believe in doing good without any particular bias for or against order.

Examples of characters and people who fit into the same alignment as you include Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Gandalf, Indiana Jones, O-Bi-Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, Harry Potter, Frodo Baggins, and the Dalai Lama.

Hm...

Blame Who? (Part 2)

Blame Who? (Part 2)

In today's The Straits Times (emphases mine):

"As the family got on the escalator to go down, Shiyr shouted 'Ouch, ouch'. Her right rubber clog was stuck in the teeth of the escalator step.

"Mr Chong, a teacher, said: 'When I lifer her, I saw the jagged bone of the toe protruding out, where her toe used to be. It's not something any parent could bear to see.'

"Skin from the ball of her foot was also ripped off.

"At about 11.20 pm, the girl's rubber clog and toe were found separately in pits under the escalator and the toe was taken to the National Uiversity Hospital.

"This is not the first time an accident involving children, escalators and rubber clogs has happened.

"In August, a two-year-old girl got her shoe caught in the escalator steps, while she was with her parents in Toa Payoh Central." - ST, 6 Nov 06

MY GOD! RUBBER CLOGS! They are so soft and flexible they offer ABSOLUTELY NO PROTECTION whatsoever to any impact or crush.

What were the parents NOT thinking?

And why is the girl allowed to stand on the RIGHT of the escalator?

All signs point to poor parenting.

Adults who want to be vain and wear rubber clogs with gaping holes, carry on. But this is a poor child who needs to be protected. And instead of proper shoes, she got a pair of rubber clogs?

All I want for Christmas, this year, is for people to grow some brains.

Wrong Priorities?

Wrong Priorities?

There are some things in life that are all so wrong.

320 contestants vying for car in MediaCorp Radio Subaru WRX Challenge

They're at it again.

320 contestants are trying to outlast one another in a bid to win a brand new car in the MediaCorp Radio Subaru WRX Challenge.

It is a contest where you literally have a hand in winning the prize.

But there could be several factors that may conspire against you.

The hot weather, for one.

Also, the luck of the draw will decide your fate - more precisely, how your palm is placed on the car.

Ow Yong Teck Choon, a contestant, said: "The first time I gave up because it was actually quite a difficult position - the hand on the (car) window always kept sliding down. This time, I have to actually had to bend myself, so it was very uncomfortable."

After the first hour of the contest, a handful had already dropped out, with some aching muscles that needed medical attention.

But there are some Singaporeans who keep coming back, year after year, with something to prove.

40 contestants have taken part before and they all have their eyes on a $90,000 car.

But if a newbie walks away with the title, he or she will only get to drive away a cheaper $71,000 car.

"My brother is taking part.....I actually told him to wiggle his toes, not to faint," said Adeline Teo.

Besides fainting, contestants will also have to fight fatigue, sleep depravation, and perhaps, even carpel tunnel syndrome.

In the five years the contest has been held, the longest anyone has held his palm on the car was slightly over three days!

The contest is being held at Ngee Ann City. - CNA/ir

SHOULD WE NOT ASK THESE VERY FREE PEOPLE TO GO ON AN EXTENDED SOCIAL WORK SPREE INSTEAD? And the last wo/man standing after cleaning all the old folks' home and painting their walls, washing their toilets, changing their bedsheets, wiping the grime off their stoves, fumigating their homes etc will win the car!

A bit early, but I believe the old folks would definitely welcome an early spring cleaning to usher in Christmas, Hari Raya Haji, New Year and Chinese New Year.

What say you?

Blame who?

Blame who?

I could not hold myself back as I let fly a few colourful expletives when I heard the following news aired on television.

3-year-old lost her toe due to escalator accident

SINGAPORE: A 3-year-old had her right big toe and skin from her sole ripped off, after her foot got stuck in an escalator on Saturday night.

The accident took place at 8:40pm, Admiralty Place, a neighbourhood shopping centre located at Block 678 Woodlands Avenue 6.

The ambulance arrived in twenty minutes and brought her to the National University Hospital where she is still being treated.

The girl's mother said her toe was only found three hours after the accident so doctors are not able reattach it.

Her mother had asked why there were no emergency numbers displayed for escalator repair, unlike lifts.

She said if help had arrived earlier to dismantle the escalator, there could have been a better chance of saving her daughter's toe. - CNA/so


The mother had the cheek to blame EVERYONE ELSE!

WHAT THE HELL ARE PARENTS LETTING A 3-YEAR OLD CHILD TAKE AN ESCALATOR BY HERSELF?

I simply cannot believe my ears to hear that woman speak with all righteousness that her daughter lost her toe because the maintenance team took longer than expected to come.

In the first instance, why is the child allowed to take the escalator by herself? Where are the parents? What kind of supervision was there?

Anyone who cannot reach the hand rest of an escalator should be carried while riding an escalator! Or should NOT even take the escalator.

I only grieve because the escalator took away the wrong thing - the child's toe - instead of the parents' commonsense.

But I forgot - the escalator probably cannot find any.

The MRT Train as a Suicide Enabler

The MRT Train as a Suicide Enabler

One pauper who jumped into the path of an approaching MRT (UK calls it the Tube, US the Metro) train had his case mass reported in the local semi-tabloids. His family lost him but got about S$500 000 in condolence money. His widow, in fact, told the reporters that there is now enough money to live a decent life.

Then a few days later, another man jumped.

When the MRT started running 16 years ago, I already foresaw such occurrences as being the norm when the population ages or when people get poor enough and desperate enough.

Now it has happened.

So what do we do? Where do we go from here?

I wait with bated breath.

[If I had my way, I'll change the law to empower transport service providers to recover income lost as well as all other costs to repair damages from the families. This will definitely discourage future such acts.]

Free Lunch

Free Lunch

No. There is NO SUCH THING as a FREE LUNCH.

There simply isn't.

Had to stand in for a lunch appointment on Halloween and being slightly underdressed for the occasion, I was already hesitant. And then I got seated at the VIP table.

The one I stood in for had to deliver a lecture to his peers after lunch. I was told the lecture will still be conducted by him.

I uncomfortably sat through the opening speeches and I tried my best to appear as inconspicuous as possible for the longest time. I queued at the end of the group of VIPs before me taking their bloody own sweet time taking food and by the time I got food, a good amount of my lunch was spent queueing for food as though I am some poor vagrant in a soup kitchen waiting to be fed.

I barely downed my second morsel when my handphone rang - I was asked to stand in for the lecture. Oops! The people are all senior to me in terms of appointments and ranks. I hastily swallowed my food - I was running late for the lecture - braced myself for the onslaught and settled the lecture.

Free lunch? Not exactly. But the price to pay was a lesson in personal and professional development. I was given a great opportunity to rise to the challenge. I am very thankful for wonderful opportunities like these.

Watching the English - The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour

Watching the English - The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour

I'm reading the book "Watching the English - The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour" by Kate Moss. I found five book reviews at Amazon.com.

Pretty interesting - now I know why I feel so much better dealing with the Americans than the English.

I love it when the Americans tell me upfront - I don't want to talk about this. Can we change a topic? Or they say, let's not talk about this.

What I don't appreciate is unintelligible gluttal noises from the other group, which leave me wondering what's wrong.

It's not about EQ, mind you. It's all about the wonderful "understated euphemisms" that the English so treasure, their ironies and their wit. It's almost like a perverted form of the Asian modesty.

I do enjoy speaking with the English still, nonetheless, but this book makes me better understand the psyche of the very people to whom we faithfully sit their exams and acquire their certification year after year after year.

Maybe Ban Ki Moon left out the English when he spoke of modesty as a virtue.

Tone Deaf Karaoke Crooners

Tone Deaf Karaoke Crooners

It's ok to be tone deaf.

It's ok to sing karaoke.

It's even ok to be tone deaf and singing karaoke.

It's therefore ok to sing karaoke even if you are tone deaf.

Simply choose something which is familiar to the other listeners so that they can hum along to drown your bad singing out.

Don't choose a tuneless piece.

Or some piece which is already so obscure that you butcher it even further. Being poorly written, the piece has already claimed its place in oblivion. Why bring it out to the open to insult it further?

And karaoke singing is not BARKING into the bl**dy microphone.

Please SPARE MY EARS too.

Satay

Satay

She loved the Chinese satay* at Serangoon Gardens' Chomp Chomp market.

We used to get pestered and, in the end, one of us will relent and drive the three of us there.

I agree that the CC Chinese satay is really really nice.

Last night, I found another nice Chinese satay at ABC market.

And before I left, I found another stall at the same market. He said that was the original stall.

Guess what? I'm coming back for more satay soon.



* - satay, or sateh (variants), is a kebab that is believed to have originated from Chinese hawkers peddling barbecued meat on bamboo skewers. Literally, satay means three pieces and a traditional stick will consist of three pieces of well marinated meat and a piece of fat to blend the meat pieces together into a flavoursome morsel.