The credit card company called yesterday to offer a truce. They would top up my credit line to offset the foreign exchange losses and after that, they will work with the other company on recovering the monies.
I guess it pays to be a bitch.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Does everything need an answer?
If this were a rhetorical question, then the answer is obvious. So, in a way, I have answered my own question. But I believe some of you out there will not be too plaeased with me tackling a trivial case.
This is the next intractable problem, following up from my earlier question - what is it that will gain me nirvana (with the exception of endless meditation and hoping that I can cross the seas of temptation etc etc). I know myself well enough that I can't make it. Not that way, at least.
The recent financial fiasco was one of the reasons why I shifted my thought processes a little. One thing that I begin asking is if status quo must be preserved at all costs. If we decide that we cannot allow things to break, then we will forever be rummaging through our toolkits to plug each and every leak. Have we considered that some things are best replaced? (No, I'm not switching to supporting Obama/Biden.)
One common trait that I notice in problem solving these days is the extremely short duration given for a complete solution. Another trait, which is common among certain companies and organisations is the availability of money (as a part of the solution, be it to buy the solution or as the solution itself). As a result, we are plagued with a whole lot of stop-gap measures which, like makeshift tourniquets, staunch the blood loss for the moment but in the long run causes the limb to turn gangrenous. After that, blood poisoning comes along. Instead of accepting amputation as the final solution, the patient asks for blood transfusions to prolong life.
I may be wrong but I am rather certain that people loathe change - except for cars, houses, clothes and sex partners - even if they really need it. There are many reasons why they resist change. Not wanting to be exposed may be right up there at the top of the list. Rightly or wrongly, people are fearful of being exposed. This could be a reason why the Chinese are playing musical chairs with their leaders recently. No one is certain how long s/he is going to stay in that post, so each had better stay out of trouble.
So the Chinese has come up with one solution. The US has also used the solution for the longest time - the US President cannot serve more than two terms. That is why Hillary Clinton is not in the running. Now, I don't know if it is more than two terms in all or more than two terms consecutively, so I am not sure if she could not run again in four years' time. Honestly, she may have a chance if Obama/Biden don't make it this time around. Can't wait to see a Palin/Hillary slug-fest. MeeeeeeoooooW!
So, the result of keeping people on their toes means that people try to cement their positions by concentrating on doing the greatest dog-and-pony show during their term and not care about what and who feeds the dog and the pony. They care even less if there is melamine in the feed.
Problems snowball. The carpet starts to bulge, bones start falling out of closets when their doors are left ajar. Money is used to cover cracks and smoothen the tracks. But before long, the problems achieve critical mass and a reaction occurs. Then what?
Ok, so keeping people on their toes is not going to work. So we keep people in their positions for a long time. Not working either. Once people realise their power post is lifelong tenure, performance goes down. And with permanence comes hanky panky. Not a good solution either.
So, what do we do?
Mother Nature has already shown us the way. We have day and night. We have the four seasons. We have calamities and catastrophes. We have typhoons, cyclones, hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes, tidal waves. For everything else, we have the Bermuda Triangle. In more recent, Mother Nature has invented a new type of human beings called terrorists.
For each cleansing method Mother Nature has invented, there is some problem that we can solve with it. For example, melamine should be used as part of the plastic bomb for terrorists. Hurricanes and cyclones should go to the Middle East and Africa with their water problems while volcanoes should erupt closer to archipelagos to help them gain better inter-island connection. Tidal waves are good after major parties (Times Square New Year Party) and tsunamis are probably good for people who wish to pick fish rather than angle for them.
So, I believe the answers are all there. We've just been getting our questions wrong. Now you have the answer. Does that turn you into a Smartie?
Next time - Does every answer require a question?
This is the next intractable problem, following up from my earlier question - what is it that will gain me nirvana (with the exception of endless meditation and hoping that I can cross the seas of temptation etc etc). I know myself well enough that I can't make it. Not that way, at least.
The recent financial fiasco was one of the reasons why I shifted my thought processes a little. One thing that I begin asking is if status quo must be preserved at all costs. If we decide that we cannot allow things to break, then we will forever be rummaging through our toolkits to plug each and every leak. Have we considered that some things are best replaced? (No, I'm not switching to supporting Obama/Biden.)
One common trait that I notice in problem solving these days is the extremely short duration given for a complete solution. Another trait, which is common among certain companies and organisations is the availability of money (as a part of the solution, be it to buy the solution or as the solution itself). As a result, we are plagued with a whole lot of stop-gap measures which, like makeshift tourniquets, staunch the blood loss for the moment but in the long run causes the limb to turn gangrenous. After that, blood poisoning comes along. Instead of accepting amputation as the final solution, the patient asks for blood transfusions to prolong life.
I may be wrong but I am rather certain that people loathe change - except for cars, houses, clothes and sex partners - even if they really need it. There are many reasons why they resist change. Not wanting to be exposed may be right up there at the top of the list. Rightly or wrongly, people are fearful of being exposed. This could be a reason why the Chinese are playing musical chairs with their leaders recently. No one is certain how long s/he is going to stay in that post, so each had better stay out of trouble.
So the Chinese has come up with one solution. The US has also used the solution for the longest time - the US President cannot serve more than two terms. That is why Hillary Clinton is not in the running. Now, I don't know if it is more than two terms in all or more than two terms consecutively, so I am not sure if she could not run again in four years' time. Honestly, she may have a chance if Obama/Biden don't make it this time around. Can't wait to see a Palin/Hillary slug-fest. MeeeeeeoooooW!
So, the result of keeping people on their toes means that people try to cement their positions by concentrating on doing the greatest dog-and-pony show during their term and not care about what and who feeds the dog and the pony. They care even less if there is melamine in the feed.
Problems snowball. The carpet starts to bulge, bones start falling out of closets when their doors are left ajar. Money is used to cover cracks and smoothen the tracks. But before long, the problems achieve critical mass and a reaction occurs. Then what?
Ok, so keeping people on their toes is not going to work. So we keep people in their positions for a long time. Not working either. Once people realise their power post is lifelong tenure, performance goes down. And with permanence comes hanky panky. Not a good solution either.
So, what do we do?
Mother Nature has already shown us the way. We have day and night. We have the four seasons. We have calamities and catastrophes. We have typhoons, cyclones, hurricanes, earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanoes, tidal waves. For everything else, we have the Bermuda Triangle. In more recent, Mother Nature has invented a new type of human beings called terrorists.
For each cleansing method Mother Nature has invented, there is some problem that we can solve with it. For example, melamine should be used as part of the plastic bomb for terrorists. Hurricanes and cyclones should go to the Middle East and Africa with their water problems while volcanoes should erupt closer to archipelagos to help them gain better inter-island connection. Tidal waves are good after major parties (Times Square New Year Party) and tsunamis are probably good for people who wish to pick fish rather than angle for them.
So, I believe the answers are all there. We've just been getting our questions wrong. Now you have the answer. Does that turn you into a Smartie?
Next time - Does every answer require a question?
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Cold comfort is no comfort
The bubbles have burst at last. But there are still some bubbles that are hiding in the corner.
A single friend and I spoke recently and invariably, we talked about our long running concerns which had been shared between us since 2006.
Both of us were incredulous as we watched the markets soar beyond reasonable heights and marvelled as we saw how people spent money like there would be no tomorrow.
We kept looking at the growing bubble. We reminded each other to keep our monies close. We talked each other out of investments. Avoid big investments anyway. We tried our best to save our salaries - it was getting progressively harder to save up because the cost of living was inching up quietly.
We wondered how people could live such lavish lifestyles and own two houses (and thus service two loans) when we, both single and were then (she still is, I'm no longer) getting rather good pay packets. We had little to worry about, except our basic needs essentially.
It was evident that when two rational people share the same outlook, there is something very long. We laughed at how long the paper could contain the fire, how tough the bubble could be to withstand the elements, how many skeletons some closets can accommodate.
Subprime was all the rage. Sub- means below or not as good. Yet, people thought they had flourished under the banner of sub-optimal living. As they tried to reach for their prize, the thickness of the ice sheet they are standing on grew thinner and thinner.
Now the cracks are showing and shore is beyond reach. People who en bloc-ed are losing their bollocks. I hope this will not be too rampant but there would be people losing their shirts on their backs. I hope SMRT and LTA get the MRT platform doors erected fast or there could be more train delays.
AIG showed how you think you have protected yourself, only to have all the money you've invested in your life Houdini in front of your eyes. DBS Treasure 5 is another joke now. Fortunately, it's the rich who are losing their marbles, I mean money.
I'm going to sort out my accounts knowing that Singapore Laws only protect the first $x dollars for each bank depositor. I'm going to be careful. Given how things are, one could be better off keeping their monies in a pillow than to a bank. Safe deposits may not be a bad idea after all.
This is a financial crisis that no one wants to see. But all the signs point to its inevitability. It is a matter of time and now, it's time. Eat your bitter fruit as you have sowed your seeds.
Greedy folks have played the housing and other market out of the ordinary person's reach. It's pay back time and I hope a loanshark's interest would be levied.
God bless Wall Street and America.
Have fun, world.
A single friend and I spoke recently and invariably, we talked about our long running concerns which had been shared between us since 2006.
Both of us were incredulous as we watched the markets soar beyond reasonable heights and marvelled as we saw how people spent money like there would be no tomorrow.
We kept looking at the growing bubble. We reminded each other to keep our monies close. We talked each other out of investments. Avoid big investments anyway. We tried our best to save our salaries - it was getting progressively harder to save up because the cost of living was inching up quietly.
We wondered how people could live such lavish lifestyles and own two houses (and thus service two loans) when we, both single and were then (she still is, I'm no longer) getting rather good pay packets. We had little to worry about, except our basic needs essentially.
It was evident that when two rational people share the same outlook, there is something very long. We laughed at how long the paper could contain the fire, how tough the bubble could be to withstand the elements, how many skeletons some closets can accommodate.
Subprime was all the rage. Sub- means below or not as good. Yet, people thought they had flourished under the banner of sub-optimal living. As they tried to reach for their prize, the thickness of the ice sheet they are standing on grew thinner and thinner.
Now the cracks are showing and shore is beyond reach. People who en bloc-ed are losing their bollocks. I hope this will not be too rampant but there would be people losing their shirts on their backs. I hope SMRT and LTA get the MRT platform doors erected fast or there could be more train delays.
AIG showed how you think you have protected yourself, only to have all the money you've invested in your life Houdini in front of your eyes. DBS Treasure 5 is another joke now. Fortunately, it's the rich who are losing their marbles, I mean money.
I'm going to sort out my accounts knowing that Singapore Laws only protect the first $x dollars for each bank depositor. I'm going to be careful. Given how things are, one could be better off keeping their monies in a pillow than to a bank. Safe deposits may not be a bad idea after all.
This is a financial crisis that no one wants to see. But all the signs point to its inevitability. It is a matter of time and now, it's time. Eat your bitter fruit as you have sowed your seeds.
Greedy folks have played the housing and other market out of the ordinary person's reach. It's pay back time and I hope a loanshark's interest would be levied.
God bless Wall Street and America.
Have fun, world.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
This goes to the press next
- Stock reply -
Dear Tan Eugene,
Thank you for contacting PayPal with your concerns.
After review all the information on your account,we still couldn't find anything that you claimed.So we could't help you to cover the loss due to currency exchange.
I do apologize for any frustration that you have experienced.
Thank you for being part of the PayPal community.
Sincerely,
Hui
PayPal Account Review Department
PayPal, an eBay Company
- "I've got enough" response -
It's not frustration. No, it's disbelief. Utter disbelief that Paypal would hire staff who cannot figure out what is wrong even though I have already sent you the supporting document. I reattach the document so that you don't have search for it again to do the simple exercise below. (Document not attached because over here, I do not have to prove figures below.)
Let us try one more time.
Before I begin, let me remind you that I've already informed Paypal that my credit card transacts in Singapore Dollars (SGD) and therefore, when forex rates fluctuate, what I am charged in and what I receive may be different even though the foreign currency amounts in question are identical. In other words, regardless what happens, the credit card company will do the conversions and then I am billed and refunded in Singapore Dollars (SGD). Another way of looking at it is that all currencies will be converted to SGD when I am billed or when I receive refunds. If we have an understanding here, let's proceed.
Fraud cases 1 and 2 - case 1 and case 2 present identical scenarios.
When my account was fraudulently charged for USD 600, the credit card company billed me for SGD 883.10.
When Paypal reversed the charge for USD 600, the credit card company credited me SGD 838.40.
What has happened to me with regards to USD and with regards to SGD?
What can you say about my financial position? Is what I got back MORE or LESS than what I paid?
Do you see the difference now in SGD? Can you calculate the difference that I lost?
Fraud case 3
When my account was fraudulently charged for USD 100, the credit card company billed me for SGD 147.18.
When Paypal reversed the charge for USD 100, the credit card company credited me SGD 139.74.
What has happened to me with regards to USD and with regards to SGD?
What can you say about my financial position? Is what I got back MORE or LESS than what I paid?
Do you see the difference now in SGD? Can you calculate the difference that I lost?
Fraud case 4
When my account was fraudulently charged for GBP 180, the credit card company billed me for SGD 468.36.
When Paypal reversed the charge for GBP 180, the credit card company credited me SGD 441.81.
What has happened to me with regards to GBP and with regards to SGD?
What can you say about my financial position? Is what I got back MORE or LESS than what I paid?
Do you see the difference now in SGD? Can you calculate the difference that I lost?
Now, can you calculate the TOTAL amount in SGD that I have lost?
This is clearly simple enough that 10 year old kids who have learnt money and decimals can work out.
Let us check if we arrived at the same answers. Did you finally manage to figure out that:
(i) although there *seems* (operative word) to be no difference in my foreign currencies standing,
(ii) the reality is that I have lost SGD 123.39 ARISING FROM CURRENCY EXCHANGE from USD and GBP to SGD?
So what is it that you do not find?
Making good this loss is what Paypal has promised to its users, who had been fraud victims, in your rules and regulations - Paypal promised to honour all losses arising from the fraudulent charges. In this case, the losses in SGD are SGD 123.39, even though on paper, it *seems* like all charges have been reversed. What you see on paper is NOT accurate in my case because the reality is what costs me in the end. According to Paypal, it should cost me NOTHING because I had been a fraud victim. However, based on Paypal representatives' repeated failure to understand my requests, it seems like Paypal's promise is no good because nobody at Paypal will honour it.
If this happens to you one day, what would YOU do?
By the way, I have cc-ed a representative from my credit card company, Mr X, in this email. I am sure Mr X would be able to teach you a thing or two about non-US credit cards and how foreign currency transactions are handled. He may also be able to teach you how to read the statement from the credit card company, if my explanations are insufficient.
Best,
Eugene
>> X, thank you for the follow up phone call yesterday highlighting Paypal's responsibilities to its customers. Looks like Paypal's folks do not understand what I'm trying to tell them. Could I trouble you to speak with them if needed? Thank you for your kind assistance.
Dear Tan Eugene,
Thank you for contacting PayPal with your concerns.
After review all the information on your account,we still couldn't find anything that you claimed.So we could't help you to cover the loss due to currency exchange.
I do apologize for any frustration that you have experienced.
Thank you for being part of the PayPal community.
Sincerely,
Hui
PayPal Account Review Department
PayPal, an eBay Company
- "I've got enough" response -
It's not frustration. No, it's disbelief. Utter disbelief that Paypal would hire staff who cannot figure out what is wrong even though I have already sent you the supporting document. I reattach the document so that you don't have search for it again to do the simple exercise below. (Document not attached because over here, I do not have to prove figures below.)
Let us try one more time.
Before I begin, let me remind you that I've already informed Paypal that my credit card transacts in Singapore Dollars (SGD) and therefore, when forex rates fluctuate, what I am charged in and what I receive may be different even though the foreign currency amounts in question are identical. In other words, regardless what happens, the credit card company will do the conversions and then I am billed and refunded in Singapore Dollars (SGD). Another way of looking at it is that all currencies will be converted to SGD when I am billed or when I receive refunds. If we have an understanding here, let's proceed.
Fraud cases 1 and 2 - case 1 and case 2 present identical scenarios.
When my account was fraudulently charged for USD 600, the credit card company billed me for SGD 883.10.
When Paypal reversed the charge for USD 600, the credit card company credited me SGD 838.40.
What has happened to me with regards to USD and with regards to SGD?
What can you say about my financial position? Is what I got back MORE or LESS than what I paid?
Do you see the difference now in SGD? Can you calculate the difference that I lost?
Fraud case 3
When my account was fraudulently charged for USD 100, the credit card company billed me for SGD 147.18.
When Paypal reversed the charge for USD 100, the credit card company credited me SGD 139.74.
What has happened to me with regards to USD and with regards to SGD?
What can you say about my financial position? Is what I got back MORE or LESS than what I paid?
Do you see the difference now in SGD? Can you calculate the difference that I lost?
Fraud case 4
When my account was fraudulently charged for GBP 180, the credit card company billed me for SGD 468.36.
When Paypal reversed the charge for GBP 180, the credit card company credited me SGD 441.81.
What has happened to me with regards to GBP and with regards to SGD?
What can you say about my financial position? Is what I got back MORE or LESS than what I paid?
Do you see the difference now in SGD? Can you calculate the difference that I lost?
Now, can you calculate the TOTAL amount in SGD that I have lost?
This is clearly simple enough that 10 year old kids who have learnt money and decimals can work out.
Let us check if we arrived at the same answers. Did you finally manage to figure out that:
(i) although there *seems* (operative word) to be no difference in my foreign currencies standing,
(ii) the reality is that I have lost SGD 123.39 ARISING FROM CURRENCY EXCHANGE from USD and GBP to SGD?
So what is it that you do not find?
Making good this loss is what Paypal has promised to its users, who had been fraud victims, in your rules and regulations - Paypal promised to honour all losses arising from the fraudulent charges. In this case, the losses in SGD are SGD 123.39, even though on paper, it *seems* like all charges have been reversed. What you see on paper is NOT accurate in my case because the reality is what costs me in the end. According to Paypal, it should cost me NOTHING because I had been a fraud victim. However, based on Paypal representatives' repeated failure to understand my requests, it seems like Paypal's promise is no good because nobody at Paypal will honour it.
If this happens to you one day, what would YOU do?
By the way, I have cc-ed a representative from my credit card company, Mr X, in this email. I am sure Mr X would be able to teach you a thing or two about non-US credit cards and how foreign currency transactions are handled. He may also be able to teach you how to read the statement from the credit card company, if my explanations are insufficient.
Best,
Eugene
>> X, thank you for the follow up phone call yesterday highlighting Paypal's responsibilities to its customers. Looks like Paypal's folks do not understand what I'm trying to tell them. Could I trouble you to speak with them if needed? Thank you for your kind assistance.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
Overheard
"Papa, paaaa paaaaah! Last night Disney Pixar called me. They asked me if I wanted my own movie."
"..."
"I told them I don't want, but my papa would want a movie of his life."
"..."
"Then they asked me what is the title of the movie."
"..."
"I told them, "Pigg-E"
"..."
"I told them I don't want, but my papa would want a movie of his life."
"..."
"Then they asked me what is the title of the movie."
"..."
"I told them, "Pigg-E"
Time in a bottle
Introduced to this song by T. F. It's one of his favourites.
And for some weird reason, every time someone tunes in to the oldies station when I'm sitting in their car, the song comes on.
I know it could be psychological, because you could say that I tend to pay attention to songs that I know. Hey, there are many songs I know, ok?
Two Sundays ago, last Sunday, and today. Every time the driver changes the station to the oldies station, or not long after I enter the car, it comes on.
Some kind of sign?
And for some weird reason, every time someone tunes in to the oldies station when I'm sitting in their car, the song comes on.
I know it could be psychological, because you could say that I tend to pay attention to songs that I know. Hey, there are many songs I know, ok?
Two Sundays ago, last Sunday, and today. Every time the driver changes the station to the oldies station, or not long after I enter the car, it comes on.
Some kind of sign?
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Paypal Hacked
Three bastards hacked into my Paypal account and took a significant sum of money without my authorisation. I'm in the midst of fighting these charges now.
Also, once I figure out my legal rights, I may consider taking legal action.
Also, once I figure out my legal rights, I may consider taking legal action.
Friday, September 05, 2008
Why can't I?
At my writing workshop earlier this week, hot Italian babe of an exchange student asked why she ain't allowed to make radical claims when writing an academic essay. It's *her* essay, (goddammit), and what's wrong with wanting to be radical and extreme.
It took me a long time to explain to her and the class - yes, the group of sycophants who quickly aligned with her once the question was broached - why academic writing had to be reasoned and reasonable. I had to explain why qualifiers were needed, why bare overgeneralisations were not acceptable, why the chosen position must be defensible etc etc.
After a long while, I got them to see that academic knowledge making would be a joke if everyone made ludicrous claims and the biggest braggart wins.
When I was recounting to my boss, she said, "That's why we have academic writing and creative writing." Finally, a glimpse of how the academic writing researchers see creative writing researchers!
It took me a long time to explain to her and the class - yes, the group of sycophants who quickly aligned with her once the question was broached - why academic writing had to be reasoned and reasonable. I had to explain why qualifiers were needed, why bare overgeneralisations were not acceptable, why the chosen position must be defensible etc etc.
After a long while, I got them to see that academic knowledge making would be a joke if everyone made ludicrous claims and the biggest braggart wins.
When I was recounting to my boss, she said, "That's why we have academic writing and creative writing." Finally, a glimpse of how the academic writing researchers see creative writing researchers!
Penultimatum
I sent out my first set of warning to a freshman today. His writing can't cut it because his grammar is just so weak. His word forms are all wrong and he can't translate his thoughts from Chinese to English.
I'm afraid I've not broken the news gently enough but something needs to be done and stat! The course is almost a quarter way through and if I can't get past the essay because things are lost in translation, then how does he expect to clear Freshman Writing?
I'm afraid I've not broken the news gently enough but something needs to be done and stat! The course is almost a quarter way through and if I can't get past the essay because things are lost in translation, then how does he expect to clear Freshman Writing?
What a week
Three workshops, two lessons and close to eighty rounds of writing conferences. I probably spoke more this week than I had in a month!
I'm tired.
I'm tired.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Poor Muthu
There is absolutely no malice in printing this. We could change Muthu to Ah Seng, Ahmad or Jonny and all will still work!
Enjoy.
*****
MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER*
Interviewer: 'What is your birth date?'
Muthu : '13th October.'
Interviewer : 'Which year?'
Muthu : 'Every year.'
*****
*MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*
The Manager asked Muthu at an interview... .
'Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?'
Muthu replied: 'P-O-S-T-B-O- X.'
*****
*MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, 'Do I look like a foreigner?'
Wife: 'No! Why?'
Muthu : 'In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'. . that's why.'
Wife : ?????????
*****
*MUTHU & TOURIST*
A tourist from U.S.A. Asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village...
Muthu said, 'No sir, only babies were born here.'
*****
*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to 'WALK! WALK!'
The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same.
Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But the cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, 'I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.'
*****
*MUTHU & DRIVER*
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, 'You are trying to see my wife, he? Sit in the back. I will drive.'
*****
*MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Muthu pointed towards the signboard
'* WASH BASIN * '
*****
*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART*
Interviewer : 'Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?'
Muthu: 'It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination. '
*****
*Oh... Lastly.... I forgot ............ The funniest...*
At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why?
Because a lady journalist with a badge which read '*PRESS*' pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... And he did it!
Enjoy.
*****
MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER*
Interviewer: 'What is your birth date?'
Muthu : '13th October.'
Interviewer : 'Which year?'
Muthu : 'Every year.'
*****
*MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*
The Manager asked Muthu at an interview... .
'Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?'
Muthu replied: 'P-O-S-T-B-O- X.'
*****
*MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, 'Do I look like a foreigner?'
Wife: 'No! Why?'
Muthu : 'In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?'. . that's why.'
Wife : ?????????
*****
*MUTHU & TOURIST*
A tourist from U.S.A. Asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village...
Muthu said, 'No sir, only babies were born here.'
*****
*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to 'WALK! WALK!'
The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same.
Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But the cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, 'I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.'
*****
*MUTHU & DRIVER*
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, the driver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, 'You are trying to see my wife, he? Sit in the back. I will drive.'
*****
*MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Muthu pointed towards the signboard
'* WASH BASIN * '
*****
*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART*
Interviewer : 'Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?'
Muthu: 'It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination. '
*****
*Oh... Lastly.... I forgot ............ The funniest...*
At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why?
Because a lady journalist with a badge which read '*PRESS*' pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... And he did it!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Until the end of time
A few songs had the "until the end of time" theme. One of them came from Moulin Rouge. Didn't like Nicole Kidman but absolutely loved the song, "Come What May".
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I'm loving you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Chorus:
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesnt't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time
Chorus
Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Chorus
And in Miss Saigon, we hear "The Last Night of the World". It was very nice and there was a lot of dramatic irony.
In a place that won't let us feel
In a life where nothing seems real
I have found you
I have found you
In a world that's moving too fast
In a world where nothing can last
I will hold you
I will hold you
Our lives will change when tomorrow comes
Tonight our hearts drown the distant drums
and we have music all right
tearing the night
A song
played on a solo saxophone
A crazy sound, a lonely sound
A cry that tells us love goes on and on
played on a solo saxophone
It's telling me
to hold you tight
and dance like it's the last night of the world
On the other side of the earth
There's a place where life still has worth
I will take you
I'll go with you
You won't believe all the things you'll see
I know 'cause you'll see them all with me
If we're together that's when
we'll hear it again
A song
played on a solo saxophone
A crazy sound, a lonely sound
A cry that tells us love goes on and on
Played on a solo saxophone
It's telling me
to hold you tight
and dance like it's the last night of the world
Dreams
they were all I ever knew
Dreams
you won't need when I'm through
Anywhere
we may be
I will sing with you
a song...
A song played on a solo saxophone
So stay with me
and hold me tight
and dance
like it's the last night of the world
And then there is the popular "In My Life / A Heart Full Of Love" from Les Miserables.
MARIUS
In my life
She has burst like the music of angels
The light of the sun
And my life seems to stop
As if something is over
And something has scarcely begun.
Eponine
You're the friend who has brought me here
Thanks to you I am one with the gods
And Heaven is near!
And I soar through a world that is new that is free
EPONINE(to herself)
Every word that he says is a dagger in me!
In my life
There's been no one like him anywhere
Anywhere, where he is...
If he asked... I'd be his
MARIUS & EPONINE
In my life
There is someone who touches my life
MARIUS
Waiting near
EPONINE
Waiting here
A Heart Full of Love
(Marius goes into the garden, leaving Eponine outside the gate)
MARIUS
A heart full of love
A heart full of song
I'm doing everything all wrong
Oh God, for shame
I do not even know your name
Dear Mad'moiselle
Won't you say?
Will you tell?
COSETTE
A heart full of love
No fear, no regret
MARIUS
My name is Marius Pontmercy
COSETTE
And mine's Cosette
MARIUS
Cosette, I don't know what to say
COSETTE
Then make no sound
MARIUS
I am lost
COSETTE
I am found!
MARIUS
A heart full of light
COSETTE
A night bright as day
MARIUS
And you must never go away
Cosette, Cosette
COSETTE
This is a chain we'll never break
MARIUS
Do I dream?
COSETTE
I'm awake!
MARIUS
A heart full of love
COSETTE
A heart full of you
MARIUS
A single look and then I knew
COSETTE
I knew it too
MARIUS
From today
COSETTE
Every day
COSETTE & MARIUS
For it isn't a dream
Not a dream after all.
EPONINE(Interjecting)
He was never mine to lose
Why regret what cannot be?
These are words he'll never say
Not to me...
Not to me...
Not to me...
His heart full of love
He will never feel this way...
And not every heart break is about love. Losing one's mind is also a heart break, especially when it happens to a great mime actress. "With One Look" from Sunset Boulevard tells you. Norma Desmond eventually committed murder. She killed the script writer and it was by tricking her she was in a movie that she could be coaxed into police custody.
Norma
With on look I can break your heart
With one look I play every part
I can make your sad heart sing
With one look you will know
All you need to know
With one smile I'm the girl next door
Or the love that you've hungered for
When I speak it's with my soul
I can play any role
No words can tell the stories my eyes tell
Watch me when I frown
You can't write that down
You know I'm right
It's there in black and white
When I look your way
You'll hear what I say
Yes, with one look I put words to shame
Just one look sets the screen aflame
Silent music starts to play
One tear in my eye make the whole world cry.
With one look they will forgive the past
They'll rejoice: I've returned at last
To my people in the dark
Still out there in the dark....
Silent music starts to play
With one look you'll know all you need to know.
With one look I'll ignite a blaze
I'll return to my glory days
They'll say Norma's back at last
This time I am staying I'm staying for good
I'll be back where I was born to be
With one look I'll be me.
And of course, who could forget "Don't Cry for Me Argentina", a dying First Lady's plea that she is always with them.
(Evita:)
It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
that I still need your love after all that I've done
You won't believe me
All you will see is a girl you once knew
Although she's dressed up to the nines
At sixes and sevens with you
I had to let it happen, I had to change
Couldn't stay all my life down at heel
Looking out of the window, staying out of the sun
So I chose freedom
Running around, trying everything new
But nothing impressed me at all
I never expected it to
Chorus:
Don't cry for me Argentina
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don't keep your distance
And as for fortune, and as for fame
I never invited them in
Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired
They are illusions
They are not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time
I love you and hope you love me
Don't cry for me Argentina
(chorus)
Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at me to know
That every word is true
Heart break. Death. Insanity. There are lots of examples where life makes a mockery of people and yet, despite the brutality of reality, people are best able to capture these moments. You wonder if there are that many hurt souls out there. I also find it weird that there is a resonance, even for people who've not had a broken heart.
Enjoy.
Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I'm loving you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time
Chorus:
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesnt't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time
Chorus
Oh, come what may, come what may
I will love you, I will love you
Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Chorus
And in Miss Saigon, we hear "The Last Night of the World". It was very nice and there was a lot of dramatic irony.
In a place that won't let us feel
In a life where nothing seems real
I have found you
I have found you
In a world that's moving too fast
In a world where nothing can last
I will hold you
I will hold you
Our lives will change when tomorrow comes
Tonight our hearts drown the distant drums
and we have music all right
tearing the night
A song
played on a solo saxophone
A crazy sound, a lonely sound
A cry that tells us love goes on and on
played on a solo saxophone
It's telling me
to hold you tight
and dance like it's the last night of the world
On the other side of the earth
There's a place where life still has worth
I will take you
I'll go with you
You won't believe all the things you'll see
I know 'cause you'll see them all with me
If we're together that's when
we'll hear it again
A song
played on a solo saxophone
A crazy sound, a lonely sound
A cry that tells us love goes on and on
Played on a solo saxophone
It's telling me
to hold you tight
and dance like it's the last night of the world
Dreams
they were all I ever knew
Dreams
you won't need when I'm through
Anywhere
we may be
I will sing with you
a song...
A song played on a solo saxophone
So stay with me
and hold me tight
and dance
like it's the last night of the world
And then there is the popular "In My Life / A Heart Full Of Love" from Les Miserables.
MARIUS
In my life
She has burst like the music of angels
The light of the sun
And my life seems to stop
As if something is over
And something has scarcely begun.
Eponine
You're the friend who has brought me here
Thanks to you I am one with the gods
And Heaven is near!
And I soar through a world that is new that is free
EPONINE(to herself)
Every word that he says is a dagger in me!
In my life
There's been no one like him anywhere
Anywhere, where he is...
If he asked... I'd be his
MARIUS & EPONINE
In my life
There is someone who touches my life
MARIUS
Waiting near
EPONINE
Waiting here
A Heart Full of Love
(Marius goes into the garden, leaving Eponine outside the gate)
MARIUS
A heart full of love
A heart full of song
I'm doing everything all wrong
Oh God, for shame
I do not even know your name
Dear Mad'moiselle
Won't you say?
Will you tell?
COSETTE
A heart full of love
No fear, no regret
MARIUS
My name is Marius Pontmercy
COSETTE
And mine's Cosette
MARIUS
Cosette, I don't know what to say
COSETTE
Then make no sound
MARIUS
I am lost
COSETTE
I am found!
MARIUS
A heart full of light
COSETTE
A night bright as day
MARIUS
And you must never go away
Cosette, Cosette
COSETTE
This is a chain we'll never break
MARIUS
Do I dream?
COSETTE
I'm awake!
MARIUS
A heart full of love
COSETTE
A heart full of you
MARIUS
A single look and then I knew
COSETTE
I knew it too
MARIUS
From today
COSETTE
Every day
COSETTE & MARIUS
For it isn't a dream
Not a dream after all.
EPONINE(Interjecting)
He was never mine to lose
Why regret what cannot be?
These are words he'll never say
Not to me...
Not to me...
Not to me...
His heart full of love
He will never feel this way...
And not every heart break is about love. Losing one's mind is also a heart break, especially when it happens to a great mime actress. "With One Look" from Sunset Boulevard tells you. Norma Desmond eventually committed murder. She killed the script writer and it was by tricking her she was in a movie that she could be coaxed into police custody.
Norma
With on look I can break your heart
With one look I play every part
I can make your sad heart sing
With one look you will know
All you need to know
With one smile I'm the girl next door
Or the love that you've hungered for
When I speak it's with my soul
I can play any role
No words can tell the stories my eyes tell
Watch me when I frown
You can't write that down
You know I'm right
It's there in black and white
When I look your way
You'll hear what I say
Yes, with one look I put words to shame
Just one look sets the screen aflame
Silent music starts to play
One tear in my eye make the whole world cry.
With one look they will forgive the past
They'll rejoice: I've returned at last
To my people in the dark
Still out there in the dark....
Silent music starts to play
With one look you'll know all you need to know.
With one look I'll ignite a blaze
I'll return to my glory days
They'll say Norma's back at last
This time I am staying I'm staying for good
I'll be back where I was born to be
With one look I'll be me.
And of course, who could forget "Don't Cry for Me Argentina", a dying First Lady's plea that she is always with them.
(Evita:)
It won't be easy, you'll think it strange
When I try to explain how I feel
that I still need your love after all that I've done
You won't believe me
All you will see is a girl you once knew
Although she's dressed up to the nines
At sixes and sevens with you
I had to let it happen, I had to change
Couldn't stay all my life down at heel
Looking out of the window, staying out of the sun
So I chose freedom
Running around, trying everything new
But nothing impressed me at all
I never expected it to
Chorus:
Don't cry for me Argentina
The truth is I never left you
All through my wild days
My mad existence
I kept my promise
Don't keep your distance
And as for fortune, and as for fame
I never invited them in
Though it seemed to the world they were all I desired
They are illusions
They are not the solutions they promised to be
The answer was here all the time
I love you and hope you love me
Don't cry for me Argentina
(chorus)
Have I said too much?
There's nothing more I can think of to say to you.
But all you have to do is look at me to know
That every word is true
Heart break. Death. Insanity. There are lots of examples where life makes a mockery of people and yet, despite the brutality of reality, people are best able to capture these moments. You wonder if there are that many hurt souls out there. I also find it weird that there is a resonance, even for people who've not had a broken heart.
Enjoy.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Verbs used in proofs
CLEARLY: I don't want to write down all the "in-between" steps.
TRIVIAL: If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.
OBVIOUSLY: I hope you weren't sleeping when we discussed this earlier, because I refuse to repeat it.
RECALL: I shouldn't have to tell you this, but for those of you who erase your memory tapes after every test...
WLOG (Without Loss Of Generality): I'm not about to do all the possible cases, so I'll do one and let you figure out the rest.
IT CAN EASILY BE SHOWN: Even you, in your finite wisdom, should be able to prove this without me holding your hand.
CHECK or CHECK FOR YOURSELF: This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it on your own time.
SKETCH OF A PROOF: I couldn't verify all the details, so I'll break it down into the parts I couldn't prove.
HINT: The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof.
BRUTE FORCE (AND IGNORANCE): Four special cases, three counting arguments, two long inductions, "and a partridge in e."
SOFT PROOF: One third less filling (of the page) than your regular proof, but it requires two extra years of course work just to the terms.
ELEGANT PROOF: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and is less than ten lines long.
SIMILARLY: At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.
BY A PREVIOUS THEOREM: I don't remember how it goes (come to think of it I'm not really sure we did this at all), but if I'm right, then the rest of this follows.
TWO LINE PROOF: I'll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can't question 'em if you can't see 'em.
BRIEFLY: I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.
LET'S TALK THROUGH IT: I don't want to write it on the board lest I make a mistake.
PROCEED FORMALLY: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning (popular in pure math).
PROOF OMITTED: Trust me, It's true.
TRIVIAL: If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.
OBVIOUSLY: I hope you weren't sleeping when we discussed this earlier, because I refuse to repeat it.
RECALL: I shouldn't have to tell you this, but for those of you who erase your memory tapes after every test...
WLOG (Without Loss Of Generality): I'm not about to do all the possible cases, so I'll do one and let you figure out the rest.
IT CAN EASILY BE SHOWN: Even you, in your finite wisdom, should be able to prove this without me holding your hand.
CHECK or CHECK FOR YOURSELF: This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it on your own time.
SKETCH OF A PROOF: I couldn't verify all the details, so I'll break it down into the parts I couldn't prove.
HINT: The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof.
BRUTE FORCE (AND IGNORANCE): Four special cases, three counting arguments, two long inductions, "and a partridge in e."
SOFT PROOF: One third less filling (of the page) than your regular proof, but it requires two extra years of course work just to the terms.
ELEGANT PROOF: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and is less than ten lines long.
SIMILARLY: At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.
BY A PREVIOUS THEOREM: I don't remember how it goes (come to think of it I'm not really sure we did this at all), but if I'm right, then the rest of this follows.
TWO LINE PROOF: I'll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can't question 'em if you can't see 'em.
BRIEFLY: I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.
LET'S TALK THROUGH IT: I don't want to write it on the board lest I make a mistake.
PROCEED FORMALLY: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning (popular in pure math).
PROOF OMITTED: Trust me, It's true.
What I don't know about Karma
Probligo and I had had a wonderful conversation about my problem-child status. We came to the conclusion that neither of us were Smarties.
A Programmer and an Engineer were sitting next to each other on an
airplane. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he wants
to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to sleep so he politely
declines, turns away and tries to sleep. The Programmer persists and
explains that it's a real easy game. He explains,"I ask a question and
if you don't know the answer you pay me $5. Then you ask a question and
if I don't know the answer I'll pay you $5." Again the Engineer politely
declines and tries to sleep.
The Programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, "O.K., if you don't
know the answer you pay me $5 and if I don't know the answer I pay
you $50!" Now, that got the Engineer's attention, so he agrees to the
game. The Programmer asks the first question, "What's the distance from
the earth to the moon?" Then Engineer doesn't say a word and just hands
the Programmer $5.
Now, its the Engineer's turn. He asks the Programmer,"What goes up a
hill with three legs and comes down on four?" The Programmer looks at
him with a puzzled look, takes out his laptop computer, looks through
all his references and after about an hour wakes the Engineer and hands
the Engineer $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 turns away and
tries to return to sleep.
The Programmer, a little miffed, asks, "Well what's the answer to the
question?" Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands
$5 to the Programmer, turns away and returns to sleep.
Yeah, we both don't know. But I can guess he's probably a programmer or an engineer while I'm just the manager pushing the buttons. Heh!
So, the new Fermat's (Last + 1) Conjecture is now: What next to seek so that Enlightenment is possible.
The issue of karma was probably obliquely mentioned somehow but I am sure if it did, we did not give it a good airing.
So, my question will be: Who is in charge of calculating Karma? I don't know if this is rhetorical. But there is a belief that if you kill a cockroach (for example) so that by ending its life, you could help it get reborn into a higher realm of existence, apparently, it won't happen. Part of the explanation is that the cockroach is so used to its existence that it could not adjust its mindset fast enough to allow it to move out of that realm of existence.
I want to know if there is another way out of rebirth other than Enlightenment and finally Nirvana.
A Programmer and an Engineer were sitting next to each other on an
airplane. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he wants
to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to sleep so he politely
declines, turns away and tries to sleep. The Programmer persists and
explains that it's a real easy game. He explains,"I ask a question and
if you don't know the answer you pay me $5. Then you ask a question and
if I don't know the answer I'll pay you $5." Again the Engineer politely
declines and tries to sleep.
The Programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, "O.K., if you don't
know the answer you pay me $5 and if I don't know the answer I pay
you $50!" Now, that got the Engineer's attention, so he agrees to the
game. The Programmer asks the first question, "What's the distance from
the earth to the moon?" Then Engineer doesn't say a word and just hands
the Programmer $5.
Now, its the Engineer's turn. He asks the Programmer,"What goes up a
hill with three legs and comes down on four?" The Programmer looks at
him with a puzzled look, takes out his laptop computer, looks through
all his references and after about an hour wakes the Engineer and hands
the Engineer $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 turns away and
tries to return to sleep.
The Programmer, a little miffed, asks, "Well what's the answer to the
question?" Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands
$5 to the Programmer, turns away and returns to sleep.
Yeah, we both don't know. But I can guess he's probably a programmer or an engineer while I'm just the manager pushing the buttons. Heh!
So, the new Fermat's (Last + 1) Conjecture is now: What next to seek so that Enlightenment is possible.
The issue of karma was probably obliquely mentioned somehow but I am sure if it did, we did not give it a good airing.
So, my question will be: Who is in charge of calculating Karma? I don't know if this is rhetorical. But there is a belief that if you kill a cockroach (for example) so that by ending its life, you could help it get reborn into a higher realm of existence, apparently, it won't happen. Part of the explanation is that the cockroach is so used to its existence that it could not adjust its mindset fast enough to allow it to move out of that realm of existence.
I want to know if there is another way out of rebirth other than Enlightenment and finally Nirvana.
Movies in my mind
I've been getting odd dreams. I don't usually dream much. I rarely dream, if you ask me.
But I've been getting very realistic dreams. They are not nightmares. They are just that - movies in my mind.
I can't remember what I had dreamt of but I know that I had had dreams and they were very vivid, very well scripted and interesting.
I also know I am terribly tired.
But I've been getting very realistic dreams. They are not nightmares. They are just that - movies in my mind.
I can't remember what I had dreamt of but I know that I had had dreams and they were very vivid, very well scripted and interesting.
I also know I am terribly tired.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Gin and chthonic
I did a double take when I saw the dictionary.com word of the day entry for today.
chthonic - dwelling in or under the earth; also, pertaining to the underworld.
OMFG!
The word has Greek origins, where khthón, the Greek word for earth.
Sigh...
When will I ever be ready for the GRE?!
chthonic - dwelling in or under the earth; also, pertaining to the underworld.
OMFG!
The word has Greek origins, where khthón, the Greek word for earth.
Sigh...
When will I ever be ready for the GRE?!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Information Overload
It rarely happens to me but there is now one.
I'm facing a rather serious case of information overload and I am so not going to deal with all the information at one go.
They'll be triaged and those that have a deadline gets treated first.
Now, take a number, sit down and groan. When you go soft and slump over, I'll attend to you.
So now you know why medics in the field often ignore those who make a lot of noise? Because you hell have a lot of energy to make those noise and you probably are not as badly injured as those whose life is part of the blood spurting out of their wounds. Wow! Graphic. I like...
I'm facing a rather serious case of information overload and I am so not going to deal with all the information at one go.
They'll be triaged and those that have a deadline gets treated first.
Now, take a number, sit down and groan. When you go soft and slump over, I'll attend to you.
So now you know why medics in the field often ignore those who make a lot of noise? Because you hell have a lot of energy to make those noise and you probably are not as badly injured as those whose life is part of the blood spurting out of their wounds. Wow! Graphic. I like...
DC Cowboys
I had to share this. This was what I found from a blogsite of a new friend, Walt, whom I met because of karma.
Watch this - DC Cowboys = Brokeback meets Broadway. Fun!
Watch this - DC Cowboys = Brokeback meets Broadway. Fun!
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