Blubber Bed

Blubber Bed

A little background to set the context.

Indonesia Quake Death Toll Around 1,000
Tuesday, March 29, 2005

BANDA ACEH, Indonesia — The death toll from the 8.7-magnitude earthquake that struck off the coast of Sumatra, Indonesia has climbed to near 1,000, officials reported.

The powerful earthquake hammered Indonesia's west coast, collapsing homes and burying sleeping residents inside and sparking panic across Indian Ocean countries still traumatized by the tsunami disaster three months ago.

While fears of another tsunami catastrophe faded Tuesday when no waves appeared in the hours immediately after the overnight quake, the force of the temblor brought down 70 percent of the buildings in a market district in a town on nearby Nias island, officials said.Poor weather conditions have hindered relief efforts to reach survivors of the disaster.

On Nias, about 70 percent of the houses and buildings in the market area in Gunungsitoli town collapsed from Monday night's quake, local police Sgt. Zulkifli Sirait said.

Nias, a renowned surfing spot, was badly hit by the Dec. 26 earthquake and subsequent tsunami that killed at least 174,000 people in 11 Indian Ocean nations. At least 340 Nias residents perished and 10,000 were left homeless.

Indonesian officials said the epicenter of Monday's quake was 56 miles south of the island of Simeulue, off of Sumatra's western coast, and just north of Nias. It was felt as far away as Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore.

© Associated Press. All rights reserved.
Copyright 2005 FOX News Network, LLC. All rights reserved.

So, the massive soil shaker hit Indonesia at around 2300 local time, midnight Singapore time.

In fact, I had just got onto the bed and prepared myself to go to sleep when the tremors reached Singapore.

I started feeling my mattress turning into jelly. In fact, I felt my skeleton shake and my fat back wobble. It was like sleeping on a bed of fats and for the record, I started getting light-headed, ready to puke. It was a terrible case of motion- or more accurately blubber bed-sickness.

I thought I was going to get something really weird, like a stroke or something, but it did not feel that way. I looked up and saw my lights shaking in their sockets and my belt swaying in the air. My belt is heavy - no thanks to my big waist, big cows had to sacrifice - and it is rarely possible for it to be moved in a windless night.

So I reckoned something must be wrong.

Sent out a few messages to check if any news were available but no replies came. After a good 2 minutes or so, the shaking stopped. My jelly bed became firm again. I tried shifting and shaking my heavy frame on the bed in an attempt to see if it was indeed me hallucinating but I simply could not replicate the motion.

I think that's how ants feel when they climb onto jello and someone starts shaking the plate.

Anyhow, I think it's really really really really time to lose some weight. Imagine getting sick on your own fat back.

EMBARRASSING!