An Open Letter
[At this rate I am going, I'll soon be able to compile a bitchy "Lunch at Maxwell" series.]
Dear Old Man In The White Shirt,
From your looks and action, I am very appalled by what you had done. In the Maxwell Road Food Centre, there are two automated washing basins. These were added to raise the hygiene levels during the time Singapore was ravaged by SARS.
You left your stuff on the table near the sink and then proceeded to the sinks. There is something I could not understand: Why did you spit in ONE basin and leave your sputum there and then you proceed to wash your hands in THE OTHER basin?
People like you ought to have died of SARS the last time it struck! Do you not know how disgusting and pathogenic it is to leave your phlegm there, stuck at the bottom of the basin, without washing it away with water?
I think I should not write any further because you won't understand what is written here anyway. You probably would only understand the 8 word Hokkien expletive, 6 word Cantonese expletive, 3 word Hokkien expletive, 1 word Cantonese expletive, 2 word Hakka expletive, 1 word Hokkien expletive... Oh, in general, you'll only understand expletives.
But the English one will probably be lost on you.
Here's wishing you all the best - May the discharge of a thousand runny noses enter your lungs.
