A friend was "invited" to attend a timeshare presentation. He was enticed with lots of gifts, such as free hotel stay, online vouchers, and cruises, for attending the session. I tagged along because I really want to update myself on the cupidicious behaviour of these marketeers, or if you would indulge me, profiteering chalatans.
(Another reason was the fact that I needed to vent after having marked Assignment One and knowing that Assignment Two was coming in on Monday. But this was not the main reason.)
At the door, my friend was asked to register and I had to be registered as well. I pulled my friend aside and told him to report his salary as half of what he was receiving now. I had asked him to go for the lowest option but he thought it was not realistic.
For me, I wrote "unemployed" for my occupation and was dressed for my role. He then submitted the form.
Then I told my friend that I had prepared my speech in case the con asked me what I was there for.
"You see, I'm unemployed. Since my friend was invited here for a presentation at this time, I hope that if I'm here, hopefully, I can have a good tea."
My friend, of course, nearly flipped when he heard this. Then he asked me to go easy and not say anything if we were invited to the presentation.
In less than 3 minutes after the form was submitted, the receptionist called him and handed him the vouchers for the gifts, with the message that we did not have to sit through the presentation as the con-sultant was very busy.
See? We portray ourselves as paupers and we got off with the gifts without any time wasted. They must be kicking themselves for not doing their market survey properly.
Me? Have you heard the maniacal laughter of a genius in the lift down from the penthouse of the Rolex Building to the ground floor? Priceless!
9 comments:
Tef, thanks so much for cheering my day!! Love it!!
Well done!
With such a stellar showing, you will never be unemployed, my friend!
To your friend: Learn, probie, learn!
I tried it the other way -
"Hello, I am an eccentric millionaire and I don't know what to do with my money..."
I am lucky to still be a free man. The funny white coat with no sleeves was brought out so fast!!!
Sunit,
You can't teach the Probligo any new tricks. That guy's old leather and probably hails from Missouri!
Probligo,
The sleeveless white coat, eh? I'm sure they had made a grave mistake inviting you over, and then compounded the mistake by not indulging you. Nice one too!
Not Missouri. Nor Misery, though there is a place in Westland by that moniker.
The ol' prob counts Lower Hutt as his turangawaewae. And ancestral seat is North Shields by way of Hamburg.
Favourite tv programme - "Last of the Summer Wine". If you have seen more than three episodes you will know why.
:D
tef,i used 'probie' as a contraction for 'one under probation', not as a reference to the probligo
Too close for comfort, Sunit, too close. :) I think Probie (aka the Probligo) wouldn't mind. This guy has immense magnanimity (and a terribly short fuse). Go figure.
touche
Funny you should write about this just as Lucy and I got back from Las Vegas where we turned down a time share sales attempt. We got the free breakfast and toured the fancy "digs" that, if sold off to a single buyer rather than as a time share, these units were in the multi-million dollar range. Lucy and I could never afford that kind of luxury apt/condo style; but they tried to explain how we deserved at least one week of pampering a year. Lucy showed them how spending such a ridiculous amount of money for a time share was a waste; instead we could stay at any hotel we wanted and save a huge amount of money with no long term commitment.
We did get the free tickets to see a good magic show on the strip and even had lunch at their expense. We watched the sharks circle for their victims and kept our distance. Good article and smart to boot.
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