...女人: 空前绝后。
買內衣
有一天一位先生去幫他太太買內衣，因為他從來沒有幫他太太買過內衣，所以他不知道要買哪一種size！
跟店員扯了半天，店員只好拿水果來形容了！
店員：木瓜？！
先生：no！no！
店員：蘋果？！
先生：不不不！
店員：蓮霧？！
先生:再小一點！
店員：雞蛋？！
先生很高興的說：對！對！對！
當店員瞭解後轉身去拿內衣時，那位突然大叫：小姐等一下！是煎過的。
...后嗣: 前途无亮
父亲查看儿子英语课本,结果昏死
ｙｅｓ－爺死
ｎｉｃｅ－奶死
ｂｕｓ－爸死
ｍｏｕｔｈ－媽死
ｊｅｅｐｓ－姐死
ｇｉｒｌｓ－哥死
ｗａｓ－我死
kｉｓｓ－ 氣死！
ｄｏｅｓ － 都死！
...男人: 精益求精
老謝的醫院新開幕，老王決定去道賀。
踏進門，王先生就對護士小姐說：「我找謝...」
話未說完，護士小姐大叫說：「你早洩？有沒有搞錯？這兒是皮膚科...」
...人生: 回头是暗
心靜自然涼
國小二年丙班上自然課，老師問：「誰知道為什麼人死後身體會冷冰冰的？」
全班都沒人回答…
老師：「都沒人知道嗎？」
這時，教室後面有人說：「心靜自然涼…」
...夫妻: 同床异梦
妻子說：親愛的，我不要你到月台送我，因為我怕你難過，而且還要花二塊錢買。
丈夫笑著說：沒有關係，只花二塊錢就能把你送走，太值得了。
3 comments:
From what I gathered from Babylon, this was supposed to be humor, but its translation left much to be desired - more of a meaningless translitteration actually.
It would seem the guy did not know much about the shape of his wife...
Tef, little laughs...
Mike, agreed. There is a fundamental problem with translating humour from one culture to another. My wife's tennis club had an influx of Chinese members over a period of some 5 years - the word got around... She tells a lovely little story of a lady having to take a small group of fellow members off to one side to explain two(fairly ordinary) jokes that relied on local NZ agricultural themes. Oh, nothing unseemly at all I assure you; one was a tv advert for a well known utility truck which led to another... It took her all of ten minutes to explain the fundmentals and word plays involved.
So, please Tef you don't need to go into the detail of each of the jokes. I think Mike is close with the first. I am happy to make a fool of myself with the others.
The second story - translation and aliteration of words to give the kind of gibberish I made?
The third - wrong department :) I suspect a "small" mis-take...
The last - hmm. Marital estrangement? With overtones?
MG and Probligo:
#2 - when a Chinese father checked his son's book, he found that he wrote the equivalent sounds in Chinese:
Yes sounds like "grandfather dies"
Nice "grandmother dies"
Bus "father dies"
Mouth "mother dies"
Jeeps "sister dies"
Girls "brother dies"
Was "I die"
Kiss "angry (until you) die"
Does "all die"
#3
Man at Hospital opening wants to congratulate Dr Xie, the owner.
Man to nurse: I am looking for Xie... (which is homonymous to "I have premature ejeculation")
Nurse: You have P.E.? Are you out of your mind? This is Dermatology...
#4
Teacher: Why are cadavers cold?
Student: When the heart calms down (homonymously stops), the body cools down (a zen concept)
#5
Wife: You really don't have to see me off at the platform. I don't want to see you sad and you still have to pay to get in.
Husband: It's ok. $2 to send you away. It's really worth it.
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