I am not here to pass a judgement or criticise anyone or his/her beliefs. I hope to appeal to commonsense.
Suppose, I say suppose, all "albino lepers with life threatening diseases" are gay and vice versa. Suppose that these gay albino lepers with life threatening diseases are offsprings of "seemingly perfectly normal" parents.
Would you raise a moral ruckus about them being gay?
Would you even moralise that being gay was going to condemn them to burn in the eternal flames of hell?
Would you deny them the rights of at least domestic partnership or civil union to help them live out their lives meaningfully?
In good sense, I would agree that the State criminalises their performing gross acts or attempting solicitation in public. However, would you require the legislation to be extended to their consensual actions in their private sancta, away from public eyes?
This post was written some time ago and edited for currency today. I held it back because of several reasons, one of which was to see if any Singaporean shared my thoughts. Today, in the Singapore broadsheet, "The Straits Times", I noticed an article where 4 out of 5 graduates, some pursuing post-graduate degrees, supported a re-think of gay rights and laws. This is in stark contrast to the earlier claim that "6 out of 10 heartlanders" opposed to homosexualism in a survey, which was criticised for poor question phrasing.
Before you start calling me names, this post is not meant to be controversial or to add to the fire that the writers started. It is to be educational - at least for me.
Shade, one of my readers, mentioned that the repeal of the gay laws was difficult because of a "vocal minority" who happens to be of certain religious affiliation. I tried recalling from my readings of the religious texts of three different religions if there were anything said about this topic.
I am unsuccessful, given my shallow knowledge.
I'm just very curious where is it explicitly written in any religious scriptures or teachings that gays ought to burn in hell or words to express eternal condemnation of such people.
As far as I know, religions teach us to love one another regardless. However, Man has imposed personal values, personal morals and personal judgements on religion, which was meant to be bias-free.
For example, for couples with the ability to bring the love to the next levels and eventually either end in marriage or child bearing, it seemed normal and logical. However, the goal-posts for the sanctity of the institution of marriage have moved with the times. Society is seeing more divorces, more desertions, more domestic maid-raised kids and more unwanted pregnancies. Society has also kept silent on extra-marital affairs and pre-marital sex. Yet, homosexual acts, which can also be monogamous, are "immoral".
Recently, Minister-Mentor Lee spoke in public that being gay was "genetic", i.e. it was not by choice. His words did not go down well with the masses. However, if a person would think logically, all living things have been designed to facilitate the survival of the fittest. Think mimicry, ageing, sickness, asexual reproduction, androgyny. Homosexuality is also one form of natural selection.
Appealing to Darwinian theory on the survival of the fittest, would one consider the argument that gay gene being latent in all humans but it is activated for people who need to be genetically pre-disposed towards extinction? That is, they become gay when their genes are no longer strong enough or desirable enough to re-enter the gene pool for the next generation.
If nature has dealt these people a bad hand, is nurture going to make it worse?
Are these people not entitled to a companion to live out their lives with a companion equally afflicted in both genetics and orientation? Imagine the initial feeling when one discovers s/he is only attracted to other people with the same equipment as he/she has when "everyone else" sought out complementary equipments.
It may seem trivial but would any person choose to marginalise himself or herself VOLUNTARILY? If underneath the normal looking gay guy/gal is really an "albino leper with life threatening diseases", would heterosexual holy matrimony bring about marital bliss? Would there be real love? Or would we see a never-ending run of Brokeback Mountain (gay guys in straight marriages seeking out private trysts)?
What happened to all the teachings about love REGARDLESS?
This blogger supports the repeal of Section 377 and repeal/amendments to Section 377A of the Singapore Penal Code.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Friday, August 17, 2007
New Terrorism?
18 million toys recalled because of lead paint fears. Those numbers really made my eyes pop out. Imagine if each toy cost $1. It'll be $18 million!
And that on the back of recalls involving faulty tyres, toxic toothpaste, toxic petfood and seafood.
Smacks of a new kind of terrorism where you pay to have yourself killed.
While the producers of such products can be sued for whatever ill-motives you can trump against them, consumers also need to ask themselves if they really, indeed, need another one of those "Murder Me" Elmos sitting on the product shelf looking at you with inviting eyes.
And that on the back of recalls involving faulty tyres, toxic toothpaste, toxic petfood and seafood.
Smacks of a new kind of terrorism where you pay to have yourself killed.
While the producers of such products can be sued for whatever ill-motives you can trump against them, consumers also need to ask themselves if they really, indeed, need another one of those "Murder Me" Elmos sitting on the product shelf looking at you with inviting eyes.
An Unexpected Award
Fraser nominated me for the "Nice Matters Award". He describes me as one of the "folks who should be considered for the 'Nice Matters Award', or the 'Okay Sort of Person Award'."
It's amazing how a simple act like this makes you perk up. It is especially touching when it comes from a cyber-friend whom you've never met - except through writing and stills.
Thank you so much, Mr Stern! Thank you for being so nice a fellow friend as well.
It's amazing how a simple act like this makes you perk up. It is especially touching when it comes from a cyber-friend whom you've never met - except through writing and stills.
Thank you so much, Mr Stern! Thank you for being so nice a fellow friend as well.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Best to carry a prescription list
Went for my usual check-up at SGH yesterday.
It was a new doctor attending to me; the last went on a secondment to earn more moolah at one of Singapore's leading private hospitals.
To cut the very long story short, the new doctor first missed one regular medicine. It was only when I recalled the name of the medicine that he managed to find it on the drop down list. *GASP!*
Then he prescribed the wrong dosages. It took me nearly 2 hours (over an hour waiting and a good period waiting for the pharmacist to contact the doctor to get the prescription changed) before I managed to get my medicine.
As a highly educated young guy, I have the frame of mind and ability to remember the medicines I take. Even if I could not remember the exact dosages, I remember the colour of the pills.
Imagine an old folk or a less meticulous person taking back the under-strengthed medicine. I hate to think of the consequences.
Moral of the story: Carry your prescription list with you at all times. Or else, summarise it into a credit card sized card and slot in your wallet. Show it to the doctor! Maybe that's why Medic Awas is such a great idea for folks in general.
It was a new doctor attending to me; the last went on a secondment to earn more moolah at one of Singapore's leading private hospitals.
To cut the very long story short, the new doctor first missed one regular medicine. It was only when I recalled the name of the medicine that he managed to find it on the drop down list. *GASP!*
Then he prescribed the wrong dosages. It took me nearly 2 hours (over an hour waiting and a good period waiting for the pharmacist to contact the doctor to get the prescription changed) before I managed to get my medicine.
As a highly educated young guy, I have the frame of mind and ability to remember the medicines I take. Even if I could not remember the exact dosages, I remember the colour of the pills.
Imagine an old folk or a less meticulous person taking back the under-strengthed medicine. I hate to think of the consequences.
Moral of the story: Carry your prescription list with you at all times. Or else, summarise it into a credit card sized card and slot in your wallet. Show it to the doctor! Maybe that's why Medic Awas is such a great idea for folks in general.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
An Example of A Selfless Mentor
Kai Tak and my rodeo kid
How I nearly took away his chance to do that last dance
Elmo Jayawardena
11 August 2007
TODAY (Singapore)
A FEW months back, I was in Hong Kong visiting a charity organisation to seek assistance for a project. They had an enormous warehouse filled to the brim with anything and everything - ready to be sent to places where people in need pleaded.
The store surroundings looked familiar. Then I realised I was standing where the old Kai Tak airport was - now pastured and replaced by the glamour of the new Hong Kong International Airport.
Yes, I have been there before; many times at that, bringing jet aeroplanes in to land on runway 13, turning at the famous chequered board at 600 feet and pointing at the short runway besieged by the sea.
The final turn and approach was made between skyscrapers that stood on either side like sentinels and one could spot the laundry hanging outside the windows of flats (picture).
The chequered board was fixed to the mountainside; a big board with orange and yellow squares, clearly to say "turn now, beyond this is damnation".
That was Kai Tak, surrounded by hills, minimum length to stop and the weather gods playing their fancy games so often that we, mere mortals who flew the machines, were nothing but puppets on a string.
But we managed, day in and day out, to put our aeroplanes down and brake like crazy to make sure we didn't overrun and tip into the water.
When the skies were friendly, it was a thrill to land at Kai Tak. The runway usually was 13 and the wind rolled from the east, nice and steady. Coming past Green Island, we see the chequered board in front, telling us we have to change direction lest we, too, get pasted on the same mountain.
Then came the turn, low and precise, to make the final approach; and the laundry run, to fly between the buildings and place the wheels precisely at touchdown point to avoid going swimming.
Each time a pilot landed in Hong Kong in the olden days, there was that gleam in the eye.
I've seen it a hundred times in my co-pilots and I've felt the same whenever I made the approach; the accomplishment of doing something right where the demand was high which made the adrenalin go on over-drive.
During a typhoon, it was a different story altogether.
The winds sheared, gusted, backed and veered and the rain swept across the field, diminishing visibility. Dark grey clouds hung low, covering the mountains and the chequered board was hardly visible.
We went in by the leading lights, which were very powerful strobes that throbbed, giving us a path to follow to take us to the laundry lane - all this with the wind playing a wild symphony and the rain pattering down like machine-gun fire.
Most times, lining up on the runway for the short final run was almost impossible and that is where a pilot's skill mattered, kicking rudders and wagging wings like a mad man playing drums just so the aeroplane landed and stopped all within that little wet and slippery runway, with
the sea awaiting with open jaws for a luckless pilot's mistake.
I remember my last flight to Kai Tak, in the June of 1998. I left home determined to do the landing. Most days, I would let the co-pilot fly. I've seen a lot of this airfield and the younger pilots were always grateful for a swing at Hong Kong.
But this was my final flight to Kai Tak and I saved the last dance for me, just like the Drifters sang.
The co-pilot was young and he mentioned he'd never landed in Hong Kong. It was a hard call - I could not let this young man go and run through a flying career having never landed in Kai Tak.
Maybe years later, his first-officer would ask about the infamous Kai Tak approach and my friend would have to answer that he never did it.
All in all, the deck was stacked against me. There is something called professional courtesy and out went my last dance - "son, you take it to Hong Kong".
The weather was bad, the winds were howling, and we went in. The young man turned at 600 feet and the aircraft was bucking and jumping and he hung in there like a rodeo kid, but that wasn't enough.
Three hundred feet to go, we were pointing at mountains and the field was almost below us and then I took over and went around to the safety of the sky.
In an aeroplane, if I ever took over from a co-pilot, I never gave it back. I flew it and landed it - that was the golden rule, the safe approach.
The rodeo kid and I were now loitering in the sky to await our turn to make the next run. Then it hit me like a thunderbolt.
The same co-pilot, years later, would be a captain. And when his co-pilot asked him about Kai Tak and how it was to fly in, he would have to say: "I got one chance and I blew it. Couldn't make the field and the captain had to take over."
There was no way I could crucify this young man's soul, make him poor as gutter water in a field where professional prestige mattered most.
"Son, you take it in - go and land this aeroplane."
That's precisely what he did. He waltzed with the wind, came through the clouds, turned at the chequered board, flew down the laundry lane and lined up the big 747 on the short runway to land as smooth as Mr Neil did on the moon.
Then I saw the glitter in his eye. Last dance or no dance, I wouldn't have traded anything for that look - that's what flying was all about.
It is possible that my rodeo-kid friend would read what I write and remember. It was all between him and me and the old Kai Tak Airport.
He, I am sure, is by now a captain. I like to think that he, too, would at times give away his turn to dance just to see the gleam in a fledgling's eyes. That should be the legacy.
If not, what would we be worth as professional pilots?
The writer served SIA for 19 years as a 747 captain and instructor. He is also the founder/president of AFLAC International (www.aflacinternational.com ), a humanitarian organisation.
How I nearly took away his chance to do that last dance
Elmo Jayawardena
11 August 2007
TODAY (Singapore)
A FEW months back, I was in Hong Kong visiting a charity organisation to seek assistance for a project. They had an enormous warehouse filled to the brim with anything and everything - ready to be sent to places where people in need pleaded.
The store surroundings looked familiar. Then I realised I was standing where the old Kai Tak airport was - now pastured and replaced by the glamour of the new Hong Kong International Airport.
Yes, I have been there before; many times at that, bringing jet aeroplanes in to land on runway 13, turning at the famous chequered board at 600 feet and pointing at the short runway besieged by the sea.
The final turn and approach was made between skyscrapers that stood on either side like sentinels and one could spot the laundry hanging outside the windows of flats (picture).
The chequered board was fixed to the mountainside; a big board with orange and yellow squares, clearly to say "turn now, beyond this is damnation".
That was Kai Tak, surrounded by hills, minimum length to stop and the weather gods playing their fancy games so often that we, mere mortals who flew the machines, were nothing but puppets on a string.
But we managed, day in and day out, to put our aeroplanes down and brake like crazy to make sure we didn't overrun and tip into the water.
When the skies were friendly, it was a thrill to land at Kai Tak. The runway usually was 13 and the wind rolled from the east, nice and steady. Coming past Green Island, we see the chequered board in front, telling us we have to change direction lest we, too, get pasted on the same mountain.
Then came the turn, low and precise, to make the final approach; and the laundry run, to fly between the buildings and place the wheels precisely at touchdown point to avoid going swimming.
Each time a pilot landed in Hong Kong in the olden days, there was that gleam in the eye.
I've seen it a hundred times in my co-pilots and I've felt the same whenever I made the approach; the accomplishment of doing something right where the demand was high which made the adrenalin go on over-drive.
During a typhoon, it was a different story altogether.
The winds sheared, gusted, backed and veered and the rain swept across the field, diminishing visibility. Dark grey clouds hung low, covering the mountains and the chequered board was hardly visible.
We went in by the leading lights, which were very powerful strobes that throbbed, giving us a path to follow to take us to the laundry lane - all this with the wind playing a wild symphony and the rain pattering down like machine-gun fire.
Most times, lining up on the runway for the short final run was almost impossible and that is where a pilot's skill mattered, kicking rudders and wagging wings like a mad man playing drums just so the aeroplane landed and stopped all within that little wet and slippery runway, with
the sea awaiting with open jaws for a luckless pilot's mistake.
I remember my last flight to Kai Tak, in the June of 1998. I left home determined to do the landing. Most days, I would let the co-pilot fly. I've seen a lot of this airfield and the younger pilots were always grateful for a swing at Hong Kong.
But this was my final flight to Kai Tak and I saved the last dance for me, just like the Drifters sang.
The co-pilot was young and he mentioned he'd never landed in Hong Kong. It was a hard call - I could not let this young man go and run through a flying career having never landed in Kai Tak.
Maybe years later, his first-officer would ask about the infamous Kai Tak approach and my friend would have to answer that he never did it.
All in all, the deck was stacked against me. There is something called professional courtesy and out went my last dance - "son, you take it to Hong Kong".
The weather was bad, the winds were howling, and we went in. The young man turned at 600 feet and the aircraft was bucking and jumping and he hung in there like a rodeo kid, but that wasn't enough.
Three hundred feet to go, we were pointing at mountains and the field was almost below us and then I took over and went around to the safety of the sky.
In an aeroplane, if I ever took over from a co-pilot, I never gave it back. I flew it and landed it - that was the golden rule, the safe approach.
The rodeo kid and I were now loitering in the sky to await our turn to make the next run. Then it hit me like a thunderbolt.
The same co-pilot, years later, would be a captain. And when his co-pilot asked him about Kai Tak and how it was to fly in, he would have to say: "I got one chance and I blew it. Couldn't make the field and the captain had to take over."
There was no way I could crucify this young man's soul, make him poor as gutter water in a field where professional prestige mattered most.
"Son, you take it in - go and land this aeroplane."
That's precisely what he did. He waltzed with the wind, came through the clouds, turned at the chequered board, flew down the laundry lane and lined up the big 747 on the short runway to land as smooth as Mr Neil did on the moon.
Then I saw the glitter in his eye. Last dance or no dance, I wouldn't have traded anything for that look - that's what flying was all about.
It is possible that my rodeo-kid friend would read what I write and remember. It was all between him and me and the old Kai Tak Airport.
He, I am sure, is by now a captain. I like to think that he, too, would at times give away his turn to dance just to see the gleam in a fledgling's eyes. That should be the legacy.
If not, what would we be worth as professional pilots?
The writer served SIA for 19 years as a 747 captain and instructor. He is also the founder/president of AFLAC International (www.aflacinternational.com ), a humanitarian organisation.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Happy 42nd National Day, Singapore!
It's time to leave your emotional baggage behind and go for a makeover.
Leave the cursed colonial legacies behind.
Update your social laws to the 21st century.
Awaken yourself to the needs of the diverse nation you want to be.
Come alive!
Leave the cursed colonial legacies behind.
Update your social laws to the 21st century.
Awaken yourself to the needs of the diverse nation you want to be.
Come alive!
Singapore's 42nd National Day
Some things I hope to see in Singapore
1. Better road transportation.
Fewer cars, better and more considerate drivers, high road usage charge for congested areas, extremely high petrol taxes, affordable public transportation with extensive network and good plying frequencies.
2. Less time for the world out there, more time for me and my loved ones.
If work-life balance is to be achieved, there is a need to kill more than just the 5.5-day work week sacred cow. We are still made to appear 44.5 hours in office (at least) weekly. However, I work in the night to meet incredulous deadlines! Therefore, there should be a fundamental re-think about the hours in the office.
3. Benefits for Single Singaporeans.
For a start, allowing single Singaporeans to own government flats at an earlier age and at least ONE subsidy. Recognise domestic partnerships for gay couples. Allow single Singaporeans a lower tax rate at lower income ranges. Extend pro-rated family benefits to singles and those in domestic partnerships. Allow use of medisave in domestic partnerships.
4. Enforce and raid heinous crimes, but do not intrude into private, harmless acts.
The police has come out to say that they would stay out of bedrooms of consenting adults. Heartening news indeed.
5. Diversity means tolerance.
Manage possible provocation arising from social issues (outside of religious and racial lines). Only this way can Singapore be able to expand the citizens' scope to what the real world out there really is. Differences are to be respected and tolerated, not discriminated against or persecuted.
6. Tweak the education system.
Celebrate inabilities. Not all are cut out to be top scholars. Some school failures were great businessmen making lots of money. Some have become the pride of the country. Provide more avenues for these people to thrive. Abolish compulsory education beyond 8 years. By 14 or 15, one would know if education or further studies are suitable for the child. Do not waste another two years of his or her life. Let them progress to technical, performing, art, whatever school.
If we can get these, it would be a start.
1. Better road transportation.
Fewer cars, better and more considerate drivers, high road usage charge for congested areas, extremely high petrol taxes, affordable public transportation with extensive network and good plying frequencies.
2. Less time for the world out there, more time for me and my loved ones.
If work-life balance is to be achieved, there is a need to kill more than just the 5.5-day work week sacred cow. We are still made to appear 44.5 hours in office (at least) weekly. However, I work in the night to meet incredulous deadlines! Therefore, there should be a fundamental re-think about the hours in the office.
3. Benefits for Single Singaporeans.
For a start, allowing single Singaporeans to own government flats at an earlier age and at least ONE subsidy. Recognise domestic partnerships for gay couples. Allow single Singaporeans a lower tax rate at lower income ranges. Extend pro-rated family benefits to singles and those in domestic partnerships. Allow use of medisave in domestic partnerships.
4. Enforce and raid heinous crimes, but do not intrude into private, harmless acts.
The police has come out to say that they would stay out of bedrooms of consenting adults. Heartening news indeed.
5. Diversity means tolerance.
Manage possible provocation arising from social issues (outside of religious and racial lines). Only this way can Singapore be able to expand the citizens' scope to what the real world out there really is. Differences are to be respected and tolerated, not discriminated against or persecuted.
6. Tweak the education system.
Celebrate inabilities. Not all are cut out to be top scholars. Some school failures were great businessmen making lots of money. Some have become the pride of the country. Provide more avenues for these people to thrive. Abolish compulsory education beyond 8 years. By 14 or 15, one would know if education or further studies are suitable for the child. Do not waste another two years of his or her life. Let them progress to technical, performing, art, whatever school.
If we can get these, it would be a start.
Sunday, August 05, 2007
So easy yet so difficult
Why?
Why is it so easy for two people who have committed to stay together to as naturally decide that it is time to go their own ways?
Is the institution called Marriage so fragile, so unaccommodating, so ephemeral? Is it not possible to keep the love in the marriage? Does marriage always have to be the graveyard of love?
Rodney Atkins thinks not. See how easy it is, so long as one has the faith and the other has the love.
Honesty (Write Me A List)
By Rodney Atkins
He said: "Just think it over, and write me a list,
"So we can figure out what we both deserve."
She hardly could believe it, that their love had come to this:
Dividing an' deciding his and hers.
But she grabbed a paper napkin, an' asked the waitress for a pen.
An' one by one, she wrote down what she wanted most from him.
"Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust.
"A little less time for the rest of the world,
"And more for the two of us.
"Kisses each mornin', 'I love you's' at night,
"Just like it used to be.
"The way life was when you were in love with me."
She reached across the table an' placed it in his hand,
An' said: "You know this isn't easy for me."
As he thought about the new car, the house an' the land,
An' wondered what that bottom line would be.
An' a thousand other things that she'd want him to leave behind,
But he never dreamed he'd open up that napkin and find:
"Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust.
"A little less time for the rest of the world,
"And more for the two of us.
"Kisses each mornin', 'I love you's' at night,
"Just like it used to be.
"The way life was when you were in love with me."
Well, he fought back the tears, as he looked in her eyes,
An' said: "I don't know where to start."
An' she said: "Everything on that list in your hand,
"Is hidden somewhere in your heart.
"Honesty, sincerity, just like it used to be.
"The way life was when you were in love with me."
Why is it so easy for two people who have committed to stay together to as naturally decide that it is time to go their own ways?
Is the institution called Marriage so fragile, so unaccommodating, so ephemeral? Is it not possible to keep the love in the marriage? Does marriage always have to be the graveyard of love?
Rodney Atkins thinks not. See how easy it is, so long as one has the faith and the other has the love.
Honesty (Write Me A List)
By Rodney Atkins
He said: "Just think it over, and write me a list,
"So we can figure out what we both deserve."
She hardly could believe it, that their love had come to this:
Dividing an' deciding his and hers.
But she grabbed a paper napkin, an' asked the waitress for a pen.
An' one by one, she wrote down what she wanted most from him.
"Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust.
"A little less time for the rest of the world,
"And more for the two of us.
"Kisses each mornin', 'I love you's' at night,
"Just like it used to be.
"The way life was when you were in love with me."
She reached across the table an' placed it in his hand,
An' said: "You know this isn't easy for me."
As he thought about the new car, the house an' the land,
An' wondered what that bottom line would be.
An' a thousand other things that she'd want him to leave behind,
But he never dreamed he'd open up that napkin and find:
"Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust.
"A little less time for the rest of the world,
"And more for the two of us.
"Kisses each mornin', 'I love you's' at night,
"Just like it used to be.
"The way life was when you were in love with me."
Well, he fought back the tears, as he looked in her eyes,
An' said: "I don't know where to start."
An' she said: "Everything on that list in your hand,
"Is hidden somewhere in your heart.
"Honesty, sincerity, just like it used to be.
"The way life was when you were in love with me."
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Goodbye July 2007
An entire month
Sick - tonsilitis, sinusitis
Stuck with endless work
Have no time to rest
On receiving end of scolding for fault not mine
Living day-by-day, no second-by-second
Every day is living torture
Makes me want to puke
One bout of cought after another
No medicine seemed strong enough
The early month recurring fevers
Hacking cough ripping apart my lugs
Let's hope August brings better tidings.
Sick - tonsilitis, sinusitis
Stuck with endless work
Have no time to rest
On receiving end of scolding for fault not mine
Living day-by-day, no second-by-second
Every day is living torture
Makes me want to puke
One bout of cought after another
No medicine seemed strong enough
The early month recurring fevers
Hacking cough ripping apart my lugs
Let's hope August brings better tidings.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
From Tonsils to Sinuses
Yes, if you are wondering.
My tonsilitis have cleared and now the sinuses are infected instead.
I nearly coughed my lungs out on Sunday and Monday.
Was telling a friend that I'd sooner get an abdominal 6-packs and groin hernia if I carried on coughing this way.
My friend, who was also coughing her lungs out, said with her luck, she'll probably get hernia before 6-packs.
I guess she spoke for both of us.
My tonsilitis have cleared and now the sinuses are infected instead.
I nearly coughed my lungs out on Sunday and Monday.
Was telling a friend that I'd sooner get an abdominal 6-packs and groin hernia if I carried on coughing this way.
My friend, who was also coughing her lungs out, said with her luck, she'll probably get hernia before 6-packs.
I guess she spoke for both of us.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
If these sayings got famous...
[Invitation open for new sayings.]
1. The nano-manager (as compared to micro-manager) split hair so finely he made a wig from one strand.
2. Why laugh alone when you can laugh at others?
3. The next mouthful you suck is my marrow. I've run out of blood.
4. That's enough time off, write something... - Mr T. F. Stern
5. When push comes to shove, people will always say you've not done enough.
6. What? Did you lose your job? You're blogging up a storm here. - Alan Erkkila
7. Freedom is when what you ought to do becomes what you want to do. - Ron Erkkila
8. If you married a masculine man don't try to change him, because you might not like gay. - Ron
9. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again, even if you're making a baby. What is better than having an enjoyable process without an unfortunate outcome?
10. Keep eyes and ears open and mouth shut. - Probligo
[Teflonman's note: I think this is already quite famous, no?]
11. Like the proverbial spoon with a pig up its butt... - Liberty Bob
12. Sustaining a relationship is like making a soup - the initial passion to bring the water to a boil and the sustaining love to extract the ingredients' essences .
You read them here first.
1. The nano-manager (as compared to micro-manager) split hair so finely he made a wig from one strand.
2. Why laugh alone when you can laugh at others?
3. The next mouthful you suck is my marrow. I've run out of blood.
4. That's enough time off, write something... - Mr T. F. Stern
5. When push comes to shove, people will always say you've not done enough.
6. What? Did you lose your job? You're blogging up a storm here. - Alan Erkkila
7. Freedom is when what you ought to do becomes what you want to do. - Ron Erkkila
8. If you married a masculine man don't try to change him, because you might not like gay. - Ron
9. If at first you don't succeed, try and try again, even if you're making a baby. What is better than having an enjoyable process without an unfortunate outcome?
10. Keep eyes and ears open and mouth shut. - Probligo
[Teflonman's note: I think this is already quite famous, no?]
11. Like the proverbial spoon with a pig up its butt... - Liberty Bob
12. Sustaining a relationship is like making a soup - the initial passion to bring the water to a boil and the sustaining love to extract the ingredients' essences .
You read them here first.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
1975
| In 1975 (the year you were born) |
 Gerald Ford is president of the US Evacuation of US civilians from Saigon as Communist forces complete takeover of South Vietnam FBI agents capture Patty Hearst, who is indicted and convicted of bank robbery Teamster Jimmy Hoffa disappears without a trace Marines rescue the crew of the American ship the Mayaguez near Vietnam First Lady Betty Ford says in an interview that she thinks her children have tried marijuana Natalie Imbruglia, Drew Barrymore, David Beckham, Enrique Iglesias, Angelina Jolie, and Tiger Woods are born Cincinnati Reds win the World Series Pittsburgh Steelers win Superbowl IX Philadelphia Flyers win the Stanley Cup Production begins on Star Wars Jaws and The Rocky Horror Picture Show are the top grossing films Soul Train premieres on television in the United States "The Way We Were" (performed by Barbara Streisand) wins the Grammy for best song Saturday Night Live and Wheel of Fortune premiere |
Sunday, July 22, 2007
One does not love breathing
Perhaps it is indeed true that one does not treasure what s/he has until it is about to be taken away from him/her.
Perhaps it is time again to take stock. Things move too quickly and before one can consolidate the occurrences, current considerations have been overtaken by new events. Like what a very close friend said to me last Friday, things are moving so fast that the important is often overtaken by the urgent. But is the urgent important?
Good question. Food for thought.
Life is too short to do the "rush to wait, wait to rush" routine that armed forces are known for.
Another friend also mentioned that the lament of youth is the lack of money to support the abundant energy and time. The Mercedes Benz advertisement got it right when it said we should live our lives in reverse.
But in the ideal world, this is not to be. I want to hold tight in my arms the offerings of the NOW so that I would not grief their passing. For until one is imminently losing something will s/he begin to appreciate its existence.
I don't want to live in such hindsight so often.
Perhaps it is time again to take stock. Things move too quickly and before one can consolidate the occurrences, current considerations have been overtaken by new events. Like what a very close friend said to me last Friday, things are moving so fast that the important is often overtaken by the urgent. But is the urgent important?
Good question. Food for thought.
Life is too short to do the "rush to wait, wait to rush" routine that armed forces are known for.
Another friend also mentioned that the lament of youth is the lack of money to support the abundant energy and time. The Mercedes Benz advertisement got it right when it said we should live our lives in reverse.
But in the ideal world, this is not to be. I want to hold tight in my arms the offerings of the NOW so that I would not grief their passing. For until one is imminently losing something will s/he begin to appreciate its existence.
I don't want to live in such hindsight so often.
I always thought it would be gluttony...
Your sins are revealed. Your fate is sealed. Your sin has been measured. Happily for you, your sin profile leaves room for forgiveness.
Just below, discover your full sinful breakdown and see the areas that you must improve, to save yourself from an eternity in hell.
Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz
Just below, discover your full sinful breakdown and see the areas that you must improve, to save yourself from an eternity in hell.
| Greed: | Low | |
| Gluttony: | Medium | |
| Wrath: | Low | |
| Sloth: | Medium | |
| Envy: | Medium | |
| Lust: | High | |
| Pride: | Medium |
Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Moments of a Lucky Man
Country music is very humbling. I only knew the line to "I had my moments..." and it was only today that I had managed give it a good hearing. Partly because I have swapped over from internet radio to iTunes. iTunes has a much clearer transmission and I finally had the opportunity to listen closely to the lyrics as I was not preoccupied with other tasks.
Moments
By Emerson Drive
(Annie Tate/Sam Tate/Dave Berg)
I was coming to the end of a long long walk
When a man crawled out of a cardboard box
Under the E. Street Bridge
Followed me on to it
I went out halfway across
With that homeless shadow tagging along
So I dug for some change
Wouldn't need it anyway
He took it lookin' just a bit ashamed
He said, You know, I haven't always been this way
I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like that plane ride coming home from the war
That summer my son was born
And memories like a coat so warm
A cold wind can't get through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments
I stood there tryin' to find my nerve
Wondering if a single soul on Earth
Would care at all
Miss me when I'm gone
That old man just kept hanging around
Lookin' at me, lookin' down
I think he recognized
That look in my eyes
Standing with him there I felt ashamed
I said, You know, I haven't always been this way
I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like the day I walked away from the wine
For a woman who became my wife
And a love that, when it was right,
Could always see me through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments
I know somewhere 'round a trashcan fire tonight
That old man tells his story one more time
He says
I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like that cool night on the E. Street Bridge
When a young man almost ended it
I was right there, wasn't scared a bit
And I helped to pull him through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
Oh, lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments
I've had my moments
I've had my moments
After I had listened to Moments, I just felt I had to share it with the readers. There is a poignancy, a kind of reminder that your time in the sun will not last forever. You have your moments and they will become moments for the people after you.
A little sentimental today. Maybe it is the "phew" feeling now that TFS is back. Maybe also it is a good reminder to remind myself that I'm a lucky man.
Lucky Man
By Montgomery Gentry
I have days where I hate my job
This little town and the whole world too
Last Sunday when the Bengals lost
Lord it put me in a bad mood
I have moments when I curse the rain
Then complain when the sun's too hot
I look around at what everyone has
And I forget about all I've got
But I know I'm a lucky man
God's given me a pretty fair hand
Got a house and a piece of land
A few dollars in a coffee can
My old trucks still running good
My ticker's ticking like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, a good woman's loving
And one more day to be my little kid's dad
Lord, knows I'm a lucky man
Got some friends who would be here fast
I could call em any time of day
Got a brother who's got my back
Got a mama who I swear's a saint
Got a brand new rod and reel
Got a full week off this year
Dad had a close call last spring
It's a miracle he's still here
But I know I'm a lucky man
God's given me a pretty fair hand
Got a house and a piece of land
a few dollars in a coffee can
My old trucks still running good
My ticker's tickin' like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, good woman's loving
And one more day to be my little kid's dad
Lord, knows I'm a lucky man
My old trucks still running good
My ticker's ticking like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, a good woman's loving
And even my bad days ain't that bad
Yeah, I'm a lucky man
I'm a lucky lucky man
Sure, I bitch a lot about my life and my work. I sometimes hate the way things are going. But still, I have a good job, I live in a stable country, I have a decent income and I am still able to fully enjoy life. I am largely a lucky man.
Though I don't have a truck, a good woman's loving, a little kid or an oven, I'll still try to count my blessings.
Moments
By Emerson Drive
(Annie Tate/Sam Tate/Dave Berg)
I was coming to the end of a long long walk
When a man crawled out of a cardboard box
Under the E. Street Bridge
Followed me on to it
I went out halfway across
With that homeless shadow tagging along
So I dug for some change
Wouldn't need it anyway
He took it lookin' just a bit ashamed
He said, You know, I haven't always been this way
I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like that plane ride coming home from the war
That summer my son was born
And memories like a coat so warm
A cold wind can't get through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments
I stood there tryin' to find my nerve
Wondering if a single soul on Earth
Would care at all
Miss me when I'm gone
That old man just kept hanging around
Lookin' at me, lookin' down
I think he recognized
That look in my eyes
Standing with him there I felt ashamed
I said, You know, I haven't always been this way
I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like the day I walked away from the wine
For a woman who became my wife
And a love that, when it was right,
Could always see me through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments
I know somewhere 'round a trashcan fire tonight
That old man tells his story one more time
He says
I've had my moments, days in the sun
Moments I was second to none
Moments when I knew I did what I thought I couldn't do
Like that cool night on the E. Street Bridge
When a young man almost ended it
I was right there, wasn't scared a bit
And I helped to pull him through
Lookin' at me now you might not know it
Oh, lookin' at me now you might not know it
But I've had my moments
I've had my moments
I've had my moments
After I had listened to Moments, I just felt I had to share it with the readers. There is a poignancy, a kind of reminder that your time in the sun will not last forever. You have your moments and they will become moments for the people after you.
A little sentimental today. Maybe it is the "phew" feeling now that TFS is back. Maybe also it is a good reminder to remind myself that I'm a lucky man.
Lucky Man
By Montgomery Gentry
I have days where I hate my job
This little town and the whole world too
Last Sunday when the Bengals lost
Lord it put me in a bad mood
I have moments when I curse the rain
Then complain when the sun's too hot
I look around at what everyone has
And I forget about all I've got
But I know I'm a lucky man
God's given me a pretty fair hand
Got a house and a piece of land
A few dollars in a coffee can
My old trucks still running good
My ticker's ticking like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, a good woman's loving
And one more day to be my little kid's dad
Lord, knows I'm a lucky man
Got some friends who would be here fast
I could call em any time of day
Got a brother who's got my back
Got a mama who I swear's a saint
Got a brand new rod and reel
Got a full week off this year
Dad had a close call last spring
It's a miracle he's still here
But I know I'm a lucky man
God's given me a pretty fair hand
Got a house and a piece of land
a few dollars in a coffee can
My old trucks still running good
My ticker's tickin' like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, good woman's loving
And one more day to be my little kid's dad
Lord, knows I'm a lucky man
My old trucks still running good
My ticker's ticking like they say it should
I got supper in the oven, a good woman's loving
And even my bad days ain't that bad
Yeah, I'm a lucky man
I'm a lucky lucky man
Sure, I bitch a lot about my life and my work. I sometimes hate the way things are going. But still, I have a good job, I live in a stable country, I have a decent income and I am still able to fully enjoy life. I am largely a lucky man.
Though I don't have a truck, a good woman's loving, a little kid or an oven, I'll still try to count my blessings.
Friday, July 20, 2007
The Personality Defect Test
Your Score: Braggart
You are 71% Rational, 57% Extroverted, 42% Brutal, and 71% Arrogant.
You are the Braggart! Like Muhammad Ali, you would surely tell everyone that you are "The Greatest" whilst bragging incessantly about your intelligence, your skills, and your abilities. You tend to be a thinker rather than a feeler, and combined with your extroversion and arrogance, this makes you someone who probably just LOVES to brag about his accomplishments. Despite this, however, you are a very gentle, tender person and truly care about others' feelings. You just happen to care more about yourself. Unlike Ali, of course, you are rather rational as opposed to emotional, and you are also much more gentle. But his arrogance and extroversion best reflect the most visible aspects of your personality. But his afro and his penchant for rhyming...not so much. There is not really much to dislike about you, aside from the fact that you can be incredibly annoying, and you probably never shut up about yourself. You may be one of these people who refer to themselves in the third person. If you have a nickname, it is probably one you gave to yourself, because you are too cool for the nickname others have given you--like "doofus" and "shitface". Your personality defect, in summary, is the fact that you are extremely overconfident, extroverted, and perhaps rather lacking in emotions. YOU ARE THE GREATEST! Or so you keep telling yourself every night as you stare at yourself in the mirror and practically make out with your reflection. Maybe one day everyone else on the planet will agree with your assessment of yourself. Nah, I'm just kidding. We think you're an arrogant dickhole. But a NICE arrogant dickhole, so no worries.
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.
2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.
Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the Bitch-Slap.
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Haughty Intellectual, and the Capitalist Pig.
*
*
If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.
The other personality types:
The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!
The thing about this test: It mentions PERSONALITY DEFECT. So, it is something that comes on when provoked and does not represent me most of the time. But for those who still think I am a dickhole, come sit beside me. I'm sure we have got lots to talk about.
The Sublime Philosophical Crap Test
Your Score: N-S-R
You scored 66% Non-Reductionism, 22% Epistemological Absolutism, and 11% Moral Objectivism!
You are an N-S-R: a metaphysical Non-Reductionist, an epistemological Skeptic, and a moral Relativist. If you are simply dying inside to figure out what all this mumbo-jumbo means, then simply continue reading.
Metaphysics: Non-Reductionism (Idealism or Realism) In metaphysics, my test measures your tendency towards Reductionism or Non-Reductionism. As a Non-Reductionist, you recognize that reality is not necessarily simple or unified, and you thus tend to produce a robust ontology instead of carelessly shaving away hypothetical entities that reflect our philosophical experiences. My test recognizes two types of Non-Reductionists: Idealists and Realists.
1. Idealists believe that reality is fundamentally unknowable. All we can ever know is the world of sense experience, thought, and other phenomena which are only distorted reflections of an ultimate (or noumenal) reality. Kant, one of the most significant philosophers in history, theorized that human beings perceive reality in such a way that they impose their own mental frameworks and categories upon reality, fully distorting it. Reality for Kant is unconceptualized and not subject to any of the categories our minds apply to it. Idealists are non-reductionists because they recognize that the distinction between phenomenal reality and ultimate reality cannot be so easily discarded or unified into a single reality. They are separate and distinct, and there is no reason to suppose the one mirrors the other. Major philosophical idealists include Kant and Fichte.
If your views are different from the above, then you may be a Realist. 2. Realists deny the validity of sloppy metaphysical reductions, because they feel that there is no reason to suspect that reality reflects principles of parsimony or simplicity. Realism is the most common-sensical of the metaphysical views. It doesn't see reality as a unity or as reducible to matter or mind, nor does it see reality as divided into a phenomenal world of experience and an unknowable noumenal world of things-in-themselves. Realist metaphysics emphasizes that reality is for the most part composed of the things we observe and think. On the question of the existence of universals, for instance, a realist will assert that while universals do not physically exist, the relations they describe in particulars are as real as the particular things themselves, giving universals a type of reality. Thus, no reduction is made. On the mind-body problem, realists tend to believe that minds and bodies both exist, and the philosophical problems involved in reducing mind to matter or matter to mind are too great to warrant such a reduction. Finally, realists deny that reality is ultimately a Unity or Absolute, though they recognize that reality can be viewed as a Unity when we consider the real relations between the parts as constituting this unity--but it doesn't mean that the world isn't also made up of particular things. Aristotle and Popper are famous realists.
*****
Epistemology: Skepticism (Idealism or Subjectivism) In regards to epistemology, my test measures your tendency towards Absolutism or Skepticism. As an epistemological Skeptic, you believe that ultimate reality cannot be known in any objective way. The two categories of Skeptics that my test recognizes are Idealists and Subjectivists.
1. Epistemological Idealists believe that knowledge of ultimate reality is impossible. All we can ever have knowledge about is the world of phenomenal human experience, but there is no reason to suspect that reality mirrors our perceptions and thoughts, according to Idealists. Idealists, then, tend to see truth not as a correspondence between propositions and reality--reality is, after all, fundamentally unknowable--but as a coherence between a whole system of propositions taken to be true. We cannot escape from language or our conceptualized world of phenomena, so we are unable to reference propositions to facts and must instead determine their truth by comparing them to other propositions we hold to be true. As a result of such an idealism, knowledge of any ultimate reality is taken to be impossible, hence the Skeptical tendency of idealism. All our pursuits of knowledge, science included, can only reflect a phenomenal reality that is of our own making. Famous idealists include Kant and Fichte.
If the above did not sound skeptical or idealistic enough to reflect your own views, then you are most likely a Subjectivist. 2. Epistemological Subjectivists, like idealists, believe that all our knowledge is ultimately of our own making because it is filtered through our subjective perceptions. Unlike an idealist, though, a subjectivist doesn't believe in any universal categories of "truth" that apply to the phenomenal world, because each individual can create his own truth. Either that, or he will hold that society or custom creates its own forms of truth. A subjectivist will tend to regard scientific inquiry as a game of sorts--science does not reveal truths about reality, but only gives scientists pseudo-solutions to pseudo-problems of the scientific community's own devising. It is a type of puzzle-solving, but the puzzle isn't of reality. The definition of truth to a subjectivist may be one that recognizes a proposition's usefulness to an individual. William James is one such subjectivist, who believes that we can "will to believe" certain propositions so long as we would find them useful. The example he gives is being found in a situation where you must leap over a chasm in order to survive. The true belief, in such a situation, is that the leap will be successful--this truth is certainly more useful to us, and in believing the truth we become more willing to commit to the jump and make it successful. So, in essence, knowledge of reality is possible for a subjectivist because they never make reference to any objective reality existing outside of our own perceptions and beliefs--we can have knowledge of reality through having knowledge of ourselves, and that is all that we should ask for. Famous subjectivists include Kuhn, Feyarabend, and James. Another famed critic of Absolutism is Hume.
*****
Ethics: Relativism (Subjectivism or Emotivism) My test measures one's tendency towards moral Objectivism or moral Relativism in regards to ethics. As a moral Relativist, you tend to see moral choices as describing a subject's reaction to a moral object or situation, and not as a property of the moral object itself. You may also feel that moral words are meaningless because they do not address any empirical fact about the world. My test recognizes two types of moral relativists--Subjectivists and Emotivists.
1. Subjectivists see individual or collective desires as defining a situation's or object's moral worth. Thus, the subject, not the object itself, determines the value. Subjectivists recognize that social rules, customs, and morality have been wide-ranging and quite varied throughout history among various cultures. As a result, Subjectivism doesn't attempt to issue hard and fast rules for judging the moral worth of things. Instead, it recognizes that what we consider "good" and "right" is not bound by any discernable rule. There is no one trait that makes an act good or right, because so many different kinds of things have been called good and right. In regards to the definition of "good" or "right", a Subjectivist will tend to define it as whatever a particular person or group of people desire. They do not define it merely as "happiness" or "pleasure", for instance, because sometimes we desire to do things that do not produce pleasure, and because we don't consider all pleasurable things good. Furthermore, Subjectivists recognize the validity of consequentialism in that sometimes we refer to consequences as good and bad--but they also recognize that our intentions behind an action, or the means to the end, can also determine an act's moral worth. Again, there is no one rule to determine these things. Hence the relativism of moral Subjectivism. The most well-known of the subjectivists is Nietzsche.
If that didn't sound like your position, then you are probably the other variety of moral Relativist--the Emotivist. Emotivists are moral Relativists only in a very slanted sense, because they actually deny that words about morality have any meaning at all. An Emotivist would probably accept Hume's argument that it is impossible to derive an "ought" from an "is"--no factual state of affairs can logically entail any sort of moral action. Furthermore, a emotivist's emphasis on scientific (and hence empirical) verification and testing quickly leads to the conclusion that concepts such as "good" and "right" don't really describe any real qualities or relations. Science is never concerned with whether a particular state of affairs is moral or right or good--and an emotivist feels much the same way. Morality is thus neither objective or subjective for the emotivist--it is without any meaning at all, a sort of vague ontological fiction that is merely a symbol for our emotional responses to certain events. Famous emotivists include Ayer and other positivists associated with the Vienna Circle.
*****
As you can see, when your philosophical position is narrowed down there are so many potential categories that an OKCupid test cannot account for them all. But, taken as very broad categories or philosophical styles, you are best characterized as an N-S-R. Your exact philosophical opposite would be an R-A-O.
About the Author
Saint_gasoline is a crazed madman who spends all of his time writing OKCupid tests and ranting about philosophy and science. If you are interested in reading more of his insane ramblings, or seeing his deliciously trite webcomic, go to SaintGasoline.com.
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
You scored higher than 99% on Metaphysics
You scored higher than 99% on Epistemology
You scored higher than 99% on Ethics
| Link: The Sublime Philosophical Crap Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Another Happy Tree Friend moment
In The Straits Times today, a coroner's inquiry into schoolboy tragedy ruled that the 10-year-old's death in a taxi-bike crash an accident.
Youth or ignorance is no excuse for stupidity. And certainly, youth is no shield against death.
According to the report, the boy was cycling home after tuition on the evening of 23 Feb when a taxi hit him near an uncontrolled T-junction in a housing estate.
Two independent witnesses had come forward and gave accounts of what they saw. One of them, a driver who nearly collided with the boy's bicycle, said that the boy had dashed out from the far left and encroached into his path, forcing him to brake hard. Before the driver could alight to reprimand the boy, he had cycled to the opposite side and collided into the cab.
The driver also told police that the boy did not check for approaching vehicles before crossing the junction.
The other witness, another cab driver who was behind the ill-fated cab, said he too saw the boy cycle into the cab's path.
I hope this case sets the precedent for more LOGICAL legal rulings in the future. If idiots are killed, rule them accordingly.
This way, we can raise the average IQ of Singapore's gene pool.
Youth or ignorance is no excuse for stupidity. And certainly, youth is no shield against death.
According to the report, the boy was cycling home after tuition on the evening of 23 Feb when a taxi hit him near an uncontrolled T-junction in a housing estate.
Two independent witnesses had come forward and gave accounts of what they saw. One of them, a driver who nearly collided with the boy's bicycle, said that the boy had dashed out from the far left and encroached into his path, forcing him to brake hard. Before the driver could alight to reprimand the boy, he had cycled to the opposite side and collided into the cab.
The driver also told police that the boy did not check for approaching vehicles before crossing the junction.
The other witness, another cab driver who was behind the ill-fated cab, said he too saw the boy cycle into the cab's path.
I hope this case sets the precedent for more LOGICAL legal rulings in the future. If idiots are killed, rule them accordingly.
This way, we can raise the average IQ of Singapore's gene pool.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Universality of Country Music
I find yet another example which shows how wonderfully country song writers have grasped the essence and illogicality of life.
I begin to understand why Singapore is devoid of country song writers - our lifestyles simply do not provide any avenues for such creative composition. And yet, despite the Americanized slants of US country music, it attracts a following here. I'm one of those underground aficiandos who need my nightly dose of country music off my internet radio to "normalise" my lifestyle.
This entry, I celebrate the blue collar workers.
Guys Like Me
by Eric Church
I wear a greasy ball cap
I like my shirt untucked
I spend saturdays working on my truck
I don't like to fight
But I ain't scared to bleed
Most don't mess with a guy like me
Guys like me drink to many beers on friday after work
Our best blue jeans have skoal rings
We wear our boots to church
So rough around the edges
It's hard to believe that girls like you
Love guys like me
Your daddy worked at the bank
Mine worked on cars
You went to college
I pulled graveyard
You must have had your pick
Of all the trust fund types
But you came back to me and only god knows why
Guys like me drink too many beers on friday after work
Our best blue jeans have skoal rings
We wear our boots to church
So rough around the edges
It's hard to believe that girls like you
Love guys like me
Now there's a lot of guys like me out there
In a lot of little towns
And tellin' all our buddies, we won't ever settle down
We say thats just the way we are and the way we'll always be
So God sends girls like you for guys like me
Thank God there's girls like you, for guys like me
I begin to understand why Singapore is devoid of country song writers - our lifestyles simply do not provide any avenues for such creative composition. And yet, despite the Americanized slants of US country music, it attracts a following here. I'm one of those underground aficiandos who need my nightly dose of country music off my internet radio to "normalise" my lifestyle.
This entry, I celebrate the blue collar workers.
Guys Like Me
by Eric Church
I wear a greasy ball cap
I like my shirt untucked
I spend saturdays working on my truck
I don't like to fight
But I ain't scared to bleed
Most don't mess with a guy like me
Guys like me drink to many beers on friday after work
Our best blue jeans have skoal rings
We wear our boots to church
So rough around the edges
It's hard to believe that girls like you
Love guys like me
Your daddy worked at the bank
Mine worked on cars
You went to college
I pulled graveyard
You must have had your pick
Of all the trust fund types
But you came back to me and only god knows why
Guys like me drink too many beers on friday after work
Our best blue jeans have skoal rings
We wear our boots to church
So rough around the edges
It's hard to believe that girls like you
Love guys like me
Now there's a lot of guys like me out there
In a lot of little towns
And tellin' all our buddies, we won't ever settle down
We say thats just the way we are and the way we'll always be
So God sends girls like you for guys like me
Thank God there's girls like you, for guys like me
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Colonists 1 - New World 0
Banner gaffe makes NASA go woops!
Sunday, July 15th 2007, 4:00 AM
CAPE CANAVERAL - It shouldn't take a rocket scientist to spell the word "endeavour."
But when NASA moved the space shuttle Endeavour to its launch pad at the Kennedy Space Center on Wednesday, the banner above the shuttle had a glaring error.
It read "Go Endeavor." The shuttle's name is spelled the British way, with a "u", after the first ship commanded by 18th-century British explorer James Cook.
It took about 90 minutes for officials to notice their gaffe and replace the banner. But some sharp shooters captured the mistake on camera. Endeavour's launch is scheduled for Aug. 7.
[Teflonman's note: Looks like the rocket scientists suck at spelling bees.]
Saturday, July 14, 2007
As though struck by a dull sledge hammer
I guess I speak for many when I say that we were elated to have T. Fraser Stern back in our midst after his surgery. It was supposed to be a minimally invasive laproscopic procedure.
He was out but complications developed and now he is back in the hospital. This news came from his wife, who had done all of us a great favour by telling us what happened.
Still, the news struck us like a dull sledge hammer. I am still rather shaken.
Hope Fraser gets well and can be discharged from the hospital soon.
He was out but complications developed and now he is back in the hospital. This news came from his wife, who had done all of us a great favour by telling us what happened.
Still, the news struck us like a dull sledge hammer. I am still rather shaken.
Hope Fraser gets well and can be discharged from the hospital soon.
Thursday, July 12, 2007
How ... Can Improve Our Lives
NATURE
1. A lightning relay post to channel lightning to ipod users who are oblivious to the danger they are posing to the people around them. These relay posts should be activated by a button and immediately it fires a bolt of lightning.
LAW
2. Any pedestrian knocked down when indiscriminately crossing the road while using any handheld device have no avenue to seek legal redress.
TECHNOLOGY
3. Smokeless, filterless cigarettes. I've suggested this before.
I'm really getting desperate for a better life.
1. A lightning relay post to channel lightning to ipod users who are oblivious to the danger they are posing to the people around them. These relay posts should be activated by a button and immediately it fires a bolt of lightning.
LAW
2. Any pedestrian knocked down when indiscriminately crossing the road while using any handheld device have no avenue to seek legal redress.
TECHNOLOGY
3. Smokeless, filterless cigarettes. I've suggested this before.
I'm really getting desperate for a better life.
Sick - Day 11
Yeah, you've read it rightly. This is the 11th day of my pesky tonsilitis-ear ache-fever-headache-phelgm clogged passages flu.
In the beginning, the balls in my throat were hanging low. My left ear ached so badly that swallowing was a torture. My throat was swollen shut and I could hardly eat a single morsel of anything. Swallowing water was entire unbearable as the excruciating pain would make me double over. The fever came and went. The headache was bad.
Later, the pain subsided but other complications came along. The cough was so bad that each bout of cough, my chest felt as though it was torn apart. The fever came and went. It is as though I had dengue fever all over again. Then suddenly the ear pain returned with a bloody vengeance. I was racked in pain.
Soon after, I almost lost my voice. I went to the doctor and when I opened my mouth to speak, I got a shock myself. That didn't sound like me. People I call ask who I am. This was bad. The entire polyclinic had more than half the patients with that hacking cough I had and most of them sounded like me. I'm going to take heart - maybe it is just a particularly resistant flu bug that is going around.
For mornings on end, I've coughed out enough green globs of phelgm to make dozens of macha profiteroles. Dust icing sugar and I could start a mini-bakery. The fever came and went. Mostly I was running slightly more than lukewarm. The cough came in bouts.
The cough and allergy medicine made me sleepy so they are no-go until the night. I get great sleeps at night, especially with these central nervous system depressants.
I gulped gallons of water - I'd easily be doing 6 litres a day and be still feeling dry. I drank lots and lots of "cooling" herbal tea. I've entirely cut out oily, fried, and chilli stuff from my diet. I've been getting rest. I've stopped bitching around. I wonder what's wrong.
Everything else was normal except the pesky head flu.
In exasperation, I've started on a course of antibiotics and things are looking up. The pains have gone off. The fever seemed less frequent - maybe only in the evenings it returns.
I'm still drinking lots of water, have drunk 2.5 litres already - the daily recommended intake is 1.6 litres, in case you are not aware.
Really hoping to get well soon. Either this is really a pesky bout or this is another sign of getting old.
Fortunately, sick or otherwise, I'm still full of horns.
In the beginning, the balls in my throat were hanging low. My left ear ached so badly that swallowing was a torture. My throat was swollen shut and I could hardly eat a single morsel of anything. Swallowing water was entire unbearable as the excruciating pain would make me double over. The fever came and went. The headache was bad.
Later, the pain subsided but other complications came along. The cough was so bad that each bout of cough, my chest felt as though it was torn apart. The fever came and went. It is as though I had dengue fever all over again. Then suddenly the ear pain returned with a bloody vengeance. I was racked in pain.
Soon after, I almost lost my voice. I went to the doctor and when I opened my mouth to speak, I got a shock myself. That didn't sound like me. People I call ask who I am. This was bad. The entire polyclinic had more than half the patients with that hacking cough I had and most of them sounded like me. I'm going to take heart - maybe it is just a particularly resistant flu bug that is going around.
For mornings on end, I've coughed out enough green globs of phelgm to make dozens of macha profiteroles. Dust icing sugar and I could start a mini-bakery. The fever came and went. Mostly I was running slightly more than lukewarm. The cough came in bouts.
The cough and allergy medicine made me sleepy so they are no-go until the night. I get great sleeps at night, especially with these central nervous system depressants.
I gulped gallons of water - I'd easily be doing 6 litres a day and be still feeling dry. I drank lots and lots of "cooling" herbal tea. I've entirely cut out oily, fried, and chilli stuff from my diet. I've been getting rest. I've stopped bitching around. I wonder what's wrong.
Everything else was normal except the pesky head flu.
In exasperation, I've started on a course of antibiotics and things are looking up. The pains have gone off. The fever seemed less frequent - maybe only in the evenings it returns.
I'm still drinking lots of water, have drunk 2.5 litres already - the daily recommended intake is 1.6 litres, in case you are not aware.
Really hoping to get well soon. Either this is really a pesky bout or this is another sign of getting old.
Fortunately, sick or otherwise, I'm still full of horns.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Grouches
I think this is the term for bitchy men. Grouches.
Men get grouchy. It's not our fault. We need to vent too.
Especially when we are in pain, things don't go our way, there is discontent, we don't feel up to it...
True, the world does not owe us. But we grouch in our own world too. If you want to intrude into my grouchy world, don't complain about my grouchiness.
You have been warned.
Men get grouchy. It's not our fault. We need to vent too.
Especially when we are in pain, things don't go our way, there is discontent, we don't feel up to it...
True, the world does not owe us. But we grouch in our own world too. If you want to intrude into my grouchy world, don't complain about my grouchiness.
You have been warned.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Sodium Sulphite and Maggots
A doctor friend told me this.
An old man was admitted into the hospital and, among other things, had his penis infested with maggots.
The nurses and doctors tried to remove the maggots, alternating between trying to pick the maggots off the organ one by one or attempting mass murder. They just wanted to clean the wound up, never mind the maggots or the penis that they had to handle.
Then this visiting doctor from a third world country came in and ordered the infested penis to be flushed with sodium sulphite solution.
As this was done, the remaining maggots were flushed out and the entire wound was washed clean.
Modesty in a hospital is overrated and the work of the medical professionals under-appreciated. Here's to all the doctors, nurses and health care providers - a huge thank you!
An old man was admitted into the hospital and, among other things, had his penis infested with maggots.
The nurses and doctors tried to remove the maggots, alternating between trying to pick the maggots off the organ one by one or attempting mass murder. They just wanted to clean the wound up, never mind the maggots or the penis that they had to handle.
Then this visiting doctor from a third world country came in and ordered the infested penis to be flushed with sodium sulphite solution.
As this was done, the remaining maggots were flushed out and the entire wound was washed clean.
Modesty in a hospital is overrated and the work of the medical professionals under-appreciated. Here's to all the doctors, nurses and health care providers - a huge thank you!
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Live Earth
DROP DEAD, Al Gore.
If the world means anything at all to anyone at all, then how would a concert around the world be of any use to helping lessen "global destruction"? That concert is global destruction at its best.
You and your harebrained ideas and supporters have just made the world worse off.
I think people with eyes and brains and see and think for themselves what the Live Earth concert has achieved. I have lots more to say. But to give it any more space on this blog is an insult to the very institution of Blogspot, a place where people like us blog to death on computers so that we can use up the world's resources.
And with you and your cronies and wannabes trying to use up our resources much faster by having a round the world concert, this is not making me happy. At all. You are in direct competition to whatever little we have left. And we do things to right our distrubed selves. You do things to boost your ego, blow your trumpet.
Oh, before I seal the fate of this entry, when I saw the hologram of you, Al Stupido, I realised that maybe that's what in your mind all along. Nothing but flashes of light. That's why a dim idea like this came about.
On behalf on all the rest of the fellow unbelievers and disaffected population, we don't need your moralising how this world should be. We are happy to live in the hell we've jointly created. If you are not happy, migrate to the moon. Or Mercury. Or the sun. Too hot? Go in the night.
Don't pretend that your actions can turn the purgatory, which you probably had a bigger hand in creating than most of us, into a heaven. It won't happen until the devils migrate.
If the world means anything at all to anyone at all, then how would a concert around the world be of any use to helping lessen "global destruction"? That concert is global destruction at its best.
You and your harebrained ideas and supporters have just made the world worse off.
I think people with eyes and brains and see and think for themselves what the Live Earth concert has achieved. I have lots more to say. But to give it any more space on this blog is an insult to the very institution of Blogspot, a place where people like us blog to death on computers so that we can use up the world's resources.
And with you and your cronies and wannabes trying to use up our resources much faster by having a round the world concert, this is not making me happy. At all. You are in direct competition to whatever little we have left. And we do things to right our distrubed selves. You do things to boost your ego, blow your trumpet.
Oh, before I seal the fate of this entry, when I saw the hologram of you, Al Stupido, I realised that maybe that's what in your mind all along. Nothing but flashes of light. That's why a dim idea like this came about.
On behalf on all the rest of the fellow unbelievers and disaffected population, we don't need your moralising how this world should be. We are happy to live in the hell we've jointly created. If you are not happy, migrate to the moon. Or Mercury. Or the sun. Too hot? Go in the night.
Don't pretend that your actions can turn the purgatory, which you probably had a bigger hand in creating than most of us, into a heaven. It won't happen until the devils migrate.
Friday, July 06, 2007
Eight More Things About Me
Stern tagged me with this meme. And I am supposed to tell you eight (more) things about me. Apparently, it can be facts or habits. So here goes.
1. I always padlock the door in the same direction so I would not have a hard time deciding which direction my key has to be on when I try to let myself in or out of the house.
2. Many single parts are greater than the whole. I like to have my food on their own, especially when I'm having a meal. So mashed potatoes and chicken chop served on the same plate beside each other is fine; one on top of the other is NOT. I love to eat buns with fillings separately - buns first, fillings later. I hate it when I eat at a Chinese rice stall and they lump together my choice of dishes to go with rice. I like to savour the items discretely.
3. I read too widely but without much depth. I cannot find enough interest to delve into in-depth reading unless the contents can really command my attention. That is why I have a lot of novels but very few of them finished. I normally can't get past Chapter 1.
4. I am disinclined towards sports. I used to be a shot-putter during my primary school days. I was even a gold medal winner in the school games. But I gave it up after that because the training hours were simply too long and I didn't think much of a sport tossing a metal ball. (And then going after it to pick it back, only to toss it out again.) My secondary school Science teacher in charge of sprints offered to train me for century dashes. I was portly then and so I asked her if I should barrel down the lane. She said I had potential because I had strong legs. Incidentally, my secondary school Chinese teacher said the same thing when he tried to recruit me for shot putt. I turned both down. I so am not going to devote hours on end training, at the expense of my school work. These days, I only indulge in spectator sports.
5. Opinions in general don't mean much to me anymore, not unless they can change outcomes. Everyone has an opinion about something or someone. But nothing would change that thing or person until either someone makes a move to induce change or some larger event comes along causes change. Otherwise, opinions are like self-generated unwelcome judgements. Let me know if the opinions are related to me. Otherwise, keep them to yourselves, thank you. There is no place for timewasting on wagermongering. Oh, by the way, don't bother ask me for my opinion if you (i) don't believe me, (ii) won't listen to my suggestions or act as you are told, (iii) think you are very clever, (iv) don't want a solution. Tell me you just need me to listen to you. And I can do that very well.
6. I am partial to nature where water exists. Believe me when I tell you that the South China Sea water is different from the Malacca Straits water. And that the Pacific, Atlantic and Indian Oceans are different. Sheer rocks and forests do nothing for me unless there is water. That's why Norway, with its fjords, is such an allure to me.
7. I prefer the American way of cutting to the chase rather than the British way of euphemistic hypocrisy. Tell me what you don't like and we can move on from here. Don't tell me "oh, it's all right" when deep inside you, you are hating every moment of it. I'm learning too. How do the Yankees do it? Simple: "I don't like where this is going. Can we change a topic, please?"
8. I am not easily characterised. Nothing in these 8 things will stay constant long enough to typify me. Sooner or later, things will change and I will need to write even more things about me.
I will not attempt pass this meme to 8 people. I shall let those game enough to divulge a little of themselves take up the challenge and let me know they have done it. I am not being a spoilsport here but the wonders of the blog is such that we are always sharing a bit of us each time we write.
Thank you, nonetheless, to T. F. Stern, who has tagged me. This is a man I have grown to appreciate and respect for the honest to goodness values that he holds true to his heart. I read he's going to be "taking some time off for repairs". I hope he comes back good as new. I believe it would be my honour and great fortune if I get to meet him this life.
1. I always padlock the door in the same direction so I would not have a hard time deciding which direction my key has to be on when I try to let myself in or out of the house.
2. Many single parts are greater than the whole. I like to have my food on their own, especially when I'm having a meal. So mashed potatoes and chicken chop served on the same plate beside each other is fine; one on top of the other is NOT. I love to eat buns with fillings separately - buns first, fillings later. I hate it when I eat at a Chinese rice stall and they lump together my choice of dishes to go with rice. I like to savour the items discretely.
3. I read too widely but without much depth. I cannot find enough interest to delve into in-depth reading unless the contents can really command my attention. That is why I have a lot of novels but very few of them finished. I normally can't get past Chapter 1.
4. I am disinclined towards sports. I used to be a shot-putter during my primary school days. I was even a gold medal winner in the school games. But I gave it up after that because the training hours were simply too long and I didn't think much of a sport tossing a metal ball. (And then going after it to pick it back, only to toss it out again.) My secondary school Science teacher in charge of sprints offered to train me for century dashes. I was portly then and so I asked her if I should barrel down the lane. She said I had potential because I had strong legs. Incidentally, my secondary school Chinese teacher said the same thing when he tried to recruit me for shot putt. I turned both down. I so am not going to devote hours on end training, at the expense of my school work. These days, I only indulge in spectator sports.
5. Opinions in general don't mean much to me anymore, not unless they can change outcomes. Everyone has an opinion about something or someone. But nothing would change that thing or person until either someone makes a move to induce change or some larger event comes along causes change. Otherwise, opinions are like self-generated unwelcome judgements. Let me know if the opinions are related to me. Otherwise, keep them to yourselves, thank you. There is no place for timewasting on wagermongering. Oh, by the way, don't bother ask me for my opinion if you (i) don't believe me, (ii) won't listen to my suggestions or act as you are told, (iii) think you are very clever, (iv) don't want a solution. Tell me you just need me to listen to you. And I can do that very well.
6. I am partial to nature where water exists. Believe me when I tell you that the South China Sea water is different from the Malacca Straits water. And that the Pacific, Atlantic and Indian Oceans are different. Sheer rocks and forests do nothing for me unless there is water. That's why Norway, with its fjords, is such an allure to me.
7. I prefer the American way of cutting to the chase rather than the British way of euphemistic hypocrisy. Tell me what you don't like and we can move on from here. Don't tell me "oh, it's all right" when deep inside you, you are hating every moment of it. I'm learning too. How do the Yankees do it? Simple: "I don't like where this is going. Can we change a topic, please?"
8. I am not easily characterised. Nothing in these 8 things will stay constant long enough to typify me. Sooner or later, things will change and I will need to write even more things about me.
I will not attempt pass this meme to 8 people. I shall let those game enough to divulge a little of themselves take up the challenge and let me know they have done it. I am not being a spoilsport here but the wonders of the blog is such that we are always sharing a bit of us each time we write.
Thank you, nonetheless, to T. F. Stern, who has tagged me. This is a man I have grown to appreciate and respect for the honest to goodness values that he holds true to his heart. I read he's going to be "taking some time off for repairs". I hope he comes back good as new. I believe it would be my honour and great fortune if I get to meet him this life.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
In Pursuit of Simpler Pleasures
I no longer dream of pursuing simple pleasures because I have come to realise that living in Singapore, there is not such thing as a simple pleasure.
There is no way to sit at a cafe and watch the world go by any more. The handphone will go off. You will be assaulted by people wanting your seats. If you are in an al fresco area, you will eventually wilt or die of lung cancer inhaling second hand smoke.
There is no way to visit a library and have a simple afternoon among the printed pieces of processed tree bark. Kids running around screaming and their parents not caring, lack of bibliography satisfying my esoteric interests, stinking - yes, stinking - atmosphere... I wonder the last but the library stinks of stale sweat, smelly feet and other malodours.
Sit by the beach? The heat is unbearable and I hate it when the sand sticks on our bodies, especially the humidity makes us all warm and sticky.
Any place you think of, I could probably tell you the problems with that place.
So what now? In pursuing the simpler pleasures, I learn to appreciate the slowness of things. Not everything has to be fast. Sometimes, when something comes along slowly, learn to maximise the time eked out from waiting.
Watch more TV. Read a book. Cook something. Experiment with new flavours, new cooking techniques, new cooking ingredients.
Pretend to be busy doing nothing. Or just do nothing.
Catch the occasional breeze and enjoy nature's offering.
Chat on the computer with a internet friend.
Be thankful for whatever time that you can find away from work.
It makes me happier.
There is no way to sit at a cafe and watch the world go by any more. The handphone will go off. You will be assaulted by people wanting your seats. If you are in an al fresco area, you will eventually wilt or die of lung cancer inhaling second hand smoke.
There is no way to visit a library and have a simple afternoon among the printed pieces of processed tree bark. Kids running around screaming and their parents not caring, lack of bibliography satisfying my esoteric interests, stinking - yes, stinking - atmosphere... I wonder the last but the library stinks of stale sweat, smelly feet and other malodours.
Sit by the beach? The heat is unbearable and I hate it when the sand sticks on our bodies, especially the humidity makes us all warm and sticky.
Any place you think of, I could probably tell you the problems with that place.
So what now? In pursuing the simpler pleasures, I learn to appreciate the slowness of things. Not everything has to be fast. Sometimes, when something comes along slowly, learn to maximise the time eked out from waiting.
Watch more TV. Read a book. Cook something. Experiment with new flavours, new cooking techniques, new cooking ingredients.
Pretend to be busy doing nothing. Or just do nothing.
Catch the occasional breeze and enjoy nature's offering.
Chat on the computer with a internet friend.
Be thankful for whatever time that you can find away from work.
It makes me happier.
231 years and counting...
America celebrates 231 years of independence today.
To my readers from America, Happy Independence Day!
To my readers from America, Happy Independence Day!
Report Card
A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"
"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite."
"OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"
"Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."
Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"
"That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
"My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.
"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her driver’s license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."
The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?
"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
"How in heaven's name did you find that out?"
"And," the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and daddy got a divorce."
"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"
"Because you got an F in sex."
"Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?"
"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite."
"OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"
"Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business."
Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"
"That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!"
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
"My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend.
"Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her driver’s license. It is like a report card, it has everything on it."
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."
The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?
"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
"How in heaven's name did you find that out?"
"And," the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and daddy got a divorce."
"Oh really?" the mother asks. "Why?"
"Because you got an F in sex."
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Writing as a refuge
I used to love the certainty of the written form. It is there. You write what you think. Or at least I thought so.
I am not so certain now. The written form betrays you worse than the spoken form. You are held to task for time immemorial because you have provided concrete, existential proof - in writing.
Writing used to provide an opportunity to create your own reality. It is a mode where I could unload my thoughts and ideas, ramblings and grumblings, praises and compliments, complaints and insults on a free form canvass.
Yes, the medium used to be free-form - how one fills up a piece of plain paper with words is really freeplay. Our minds are what restrained our expression. I used to frown on fanciful writing - I still do, I guess - and proper writing should be in neat lines across the page. I doubt I'll change in the near future, or at all. That's why blogging is fine by me. The form is what I have internalised and accepted.
But with the advent of computing media but without the rapid, contemporary development of freeplay functions that a freehand pen-writer can perform in physical writing, computers have further constrained our flair for "showmanship".
Yes, we vary our form but it is not as easy as before to choose a free form of expression. Like rows of words on a keyboard, our words are reined in to form neat rows.
Writing used to be a harmless outlet to vent. Now people get into trouble for venting. The refuge is no longer.
Now I even feel like finding a refuge from my refuge - I have been under a lot of pressure recently as there is a major project requiring extensive reading and writing. Writing has become a tiring chore.
I am not so certain now. The written form betrays you worse than the spoken form. You are held to task for time immemorial because you have provided concrete, existential proof - in writing.
Writing used to provide an opportunity to create your own reality. It is a mode where I could unload my thoughts and ideas, ramblings and grumblings, praises and compliments, complaints and insults on a free form canvass.
Yes, the medium used to be free-form - how one fills up a piece of plain paper with words is really freeplay. Our minds are what restrained our expression. I used to frown on fanciful writing - I still do, I guess - and proper writing should be in neat lines across the page. I doubt I'll change in the near future, or at all. That's why blogging is fine by me. The form is what I have internalised and accepted.
But with the advent of computing media but without the rapid, contemporary development of freeplay functions that a freehand pen-writer can perform in physical writing, computers have further constrained our flair for "showmanship".
Yes, we vary our form but it is not as easy as before to choose a free form of expression. Like rows of words on a keyboard, our words are reined in to form neat rows.
Writing used to be a harmless outlet to vent. Now people get into trouble for venting. The refuge is no longer.
Now I even feel like finding a refuge from my refuge - I have been under a lot of pressure recently as there is a major project requiring extensive reading and writing. Writing has become a tiring chore.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Birth Order of Children
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing
Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins (a kid's favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month
The Layette:
1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
Worries:
1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing
Pacifier:
1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
Diapering:
1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
Activities:
1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
Going Out:
1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
At Home:
1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Swallowing Coins (a kid's favorite):
1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance.
Flying The Unfriendly Skies
All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.
4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"
5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite"
10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses"
13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo .. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to Thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."
20. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport after it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax...OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.
4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"
5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite"
10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses"
13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo .. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: “We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to Thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."
20. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport after it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax...OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"
Monday, June 18, 2007
So, now what?
De Volkskrant, 5 Jun 07
Schipol Airport and Air France-KLM want a different ecotax to the one proposed by the government for air traffic. They wrote a letter to the government on the subject last Friday.
As in the government’s plans, in the proposal presented by Schiphol and Air France-KLM, the airlines will pay for the volume of CO2 they emit. The difference is that the money, a sum of roughly 350 million euro a year, would not go to the government but would be invested directly in environmental projects in developing countries. ‘That will produce a greater environmental return,’ said Schiphol’s spokesman.
KLM is already involved in a project in Kenya, where together with Coca-Cola and Rolls Royce it is planting 120,000 trees near Nairobi.
It never ceases to amaze me how some people ennoble themselves and so bloody righteously elevate their pathetic existences on pedestals. Of course, I had just written to Old Whig's blog if anyone
"Ever wondered why there is a penal code but without an accompanying moral code?
I suppose immorality and amorality should not be criminalised unless they harm others.
I also do not subscribe to the notion of "morality" because there is no standard to measure it."
Still, what would Nairobi need 120 000 trees for? Another safari?
By the way, what use is there if "environmental projects in developing countries" translate into tree planting? If the farmers there practice slash-and-burn agriculture, the trees could be chopped down and burnt to make way for agriculture.
Oh, maybe people are trying to stem the losses of trees by planting others for farmers to chop down. Or what?
The trees will also hamper land development. Oh, how noble. People are trying to teach developing countries the perils of development, so in order to stem further development, they put in trees as barriers. Is that really it?
Maybe these are fruit trees. Yes, the likes of cherries, apples, oranges, grapefruit, avocado, olives, figs, apricots, prunes... the wonders of life. The trees will bear so much fruit that these developing countries can become fruit exporting countries, freeing the developed nations to pursue other activities such as flying more aeroplanes, driving more cars, burning more fuel to add more pollutants to the air.
But growing fruit trees in dustbowls? Will these even thrive or are we merely planting hardy shrubs to stem the desert from encroaching into agricultural land?
That's it! It must have used so much thought and consideration to attenpt to use such noble techniques of preserving precious little agricultural land for the developing countries under seige by nature.
Perhaps by burning less fuel, these countries would have survived very well without those additional shrubs.
So, now what?
This blogger is anti-conservation because he believes that the only way Earth can get better is to first make it worse. This blogger also loves to watch House.
Schipol Airport and Air France-KLM want a different ecotax to the one proposed by the government for air traffic. They wrote a letter to the government on the subject last Friday.
As in the government’s plans, in the proposal presented by Schiphol and Air France-KLM, the airlines will pay for the volume of CO2 they emit. The difference is that the money, a sum of roughly 350 million euro a year, would not go to the government but would be invested directly in environmental projects in developing countries. ‘That will produce a greater environmental return,’ said Schiphol’s spokesman.
KLM is already involved in a project in Kenya, where together with Coca-Cola and Rolls Royce it is planting 120,000 trees near Nairobi.
It never ceases to amaze me how some people ennoble themselves and so bloody righteously elevate their pathetic existences on pedestals. Of course, I had just written to Old Whig's blog if anyone
"Ever wondered why there is a penal code but without an accompanying moral code?
I suppose immorality and amorality should not be criminalised unless they harm others.
I also do not subscribe to the notion of "morality" because there is no standard to measure it."
Still, what would Nairobi need 120 000 trees for? Another safari?
By the way, what use is there if "environmental projects in developing countries" translate into tree planting? If the farmers there practice slash-and-burn agriculture, the trees could be chopped down and burnt to make way for agriculture.
Oh, maybe people are trying to stem the losses of trees by planting others for farmers to chop down. Or what?
The trees will also hamper land development. Oh, how noble. People are trying to teach developing countries the perils of development, so in order to stem further development, they put in trees as barriers. Is that really it?
Maybe these are fruit trees. Yes, the likes of cherries, apples, oranges, grapefruit, avocado, olives, figs, apricots, prunes... the wonders of life. The trees will bear so much fruit that these developing countries can become fruit exporting countries, freeing the developed nations to pursue other activities such as flying more aeroplanes, driving more cars, burning more fuel to add more pollutants to the air.
But growing fruit trees in dustbowls? Will these even thrive or are we merely planting hardy shrubs to stem the desert from encroaching into agricultural land?
That's it! It must have used so much thought and consideration to attenpt to use such noble techniques of preserving precious little agricultural land for the developing countries under seige by nature.
Perhaps by burning less fuel, these countries would have survived very well without those additional shrubs.
So, now what?
This blogger is anti-conservation because he believes that the only way Earth can get better is to first make it worse. This blogger also loves to watch House.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
I want to feel something...
Because of you I never stray too far of the sidewalk.
Because of you I learn to play on the safe side so that I don't get hurt.
Because of you I learn to play on the safe side so that I don't get hurt.
Monday, June 11, 2007
I'm a bear who can throw a bitch fit.
I want to thank Quinsy for bestowing that title on me.
I now wait with bated for my sash and crown. I hope the sash is wide enough for me to put my head and my arm through it. I hope my head is big enough for the winner's crown. Or rather, I hope the crown is big enough for my head and there are enough diamonds embedded in it.
I'll hold my sceptre and sit on my throne. And whoever comes by and say something stupid, I'll hit them with my sceptre.
I'm sure I'll win consecutive pageants. So might as well also crown me Miss Bitchiverse 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013,... before I throw another bitch fit.
I now wait with bated for my sash and crown. I hope the sash is wide enough for me to put my head and my arm through it. I hope my head is big enough for the winner's crown. Or rather, I hope the crown is big enough for my head and there are enough diamonds embedded in it.
I'll hold my sceptre and sit on my throne. And whoever comes by and say something stupid, I'll hit them with my sceptre.
I'm sure I'll win consecutive pageants. So might as well also crown me Miss Bitchiverse 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013,... before I throw another bitch fit.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Life's Not Fair
I read with indignance the parent who wrote on the child's behalf that junior, having scored A, B, E and a C for General Paper, could not make the cut for a local university.
My only advice: GET A LIFE.
It's just too bad that life deals you with this lousy hand.
I have had my share of lousy hands and honestly, many things suck big time in my life.
Do my parents write to the press and complain that with almost straight As, I didn't get a more prestigious scholarship? Duh!
This is life. Even at work, you are bypassed for the one with the right pedigree, the right connections, the right timing, the right placement, the right opportunities, the right...
There are so many variables. Not making to university is not the end of the world.
Try again next year. In any case, A, B, E, C tell a story. C for GP suggests below average but passable writing abilities - so study what? Arts and Social Sciences? Can't write essays.
I don't know what the A and B are in. Suppose they are some science-based subjects. Then Science and Engineering faculties are too competitive. Even if you make it in by a whisker, be prepared to repeat cos the courses are likely to be too challenging. I've seen a senior repeat MA 103 - Analysis 1 (mathematics) enough times for me to cringe. She was a year my senior and still doing the course (first year module required for graduation) when I'm in my 4th Semester.
Medicine, Pharmacy and Dentistry are out. Eh, this is not north enough where you can expect places to be reserved for the people of the land even if their results are less than spectacular!
So what's left? Try A levels again or find other universities.
I am a wet blanket and rightly so. But I will also tell you that my friends up north also didn't make it to the prestigious courses of their choice because there is a quota for the people of the land. They ended up doing what was second or third choices. Others also didn't make it because of quota, not because they were not good enough.
In this case, the rejections were on the grounds on merit and interviews. There is at least some form of transparency.
Oh yes. This brings me to another letter who talked about some applicant with straight As not making Pharmacy. The interview is very important. If some unkempt guy walks into an interview room and he does not have behaviour or temperament suited for Pharmacy, are you going to take him or are you going to offer the place to someone else? I think the choice is clear. Straight A people may not make doctors because they may have less than desirable character traits or the also show glimpses of undesirable bed side manners. Some things that you know from your experience that cannot be changed by education or training.
So what is my point? A few points really and I'm not giving my all since the 7 points may already cause some people to rue for the whole week.
1. Life ain't fair. If you can't take it, go suck shit.
2. If God gives you lemons, make the best lemonade possible.
3. Your child is ordinary. If s/he's special, s/he needs help. Otherwise, s/he is not the king/queen of the world. (Think about it. Even Elizabeth II is only Queen of Britain.)
4. No one owes you or your child a living. If you are not good enough, stand aside. Otherwise, do something to become better.
5. The best of the best need not get the best of anything available. Take it or leave it.
6. If you have time to complain, you should have used the time to do a better job in the first place.
7. If you think you're good, someone's better and s/he's out there.
I think I am bloody qualified to make those points above because I have internalised them, some the hard way.
My only advice: GET A LIFE.
It's just too bad that life deals you with this lousy hand.
I have had my share of lousy hands and honestly, many things suck big time in my life.
Do my parents write to the press and complain that with almost straight As, I didn't get a more prestigious scholarship? Duh!
This is life. Even at work, you are bypassed for the one with the right pedigree, the right connections, the right timing, the right placement, the right opportunities, the right...
There are so many variables. Not making to university is not the end of the world.
Try again next year. In any case, A, B, E, C tell a story. C for GP suggests below average but passable writing abilities - so study what? Arts and Social Sciences? Can't write essays.
I don't know what the A and B are in. Suppose they are some science-based subjects. Then Science and Engineering faculties are too competitive. Even if you make it in by a whisker, be prepared to repeat cos the courses are likely to be too challenging. I've seen a senior repeat MA 103 - Analysis 1 (mathematics) enough times for me to cringe. She was a year my senior and still doing the course (first year module required for graduation) when I'm in my 4th Semester.
Medicine, Pharmacy and Dentistry are out. Eh, this is not north enough where you can expect places to be reserved for the people of the land even if their results are less than spectacular!
So what's left? Try A levels again or find other universities.
I am a wet blanket and rightly so. But I will also tell you that my friends up north also didn't make it to the prestigious courses of their choice because there is a quota for the people of the land. They ended up doing what was second or third choices. Others also didn't make it because of quota, not because they were not good enough.
In this case, the rejections were on the grounds on merit and interviews. There is at least some form of transparency.
Oh yes. This brings me to another letter who talked about some applicant with straight As not making Pharmacy. The interview is very important. If some unkempt guy walks into an interview room and he does not have behaviour or temperament suited for Pharmacy, are you going to take him or are you going to offer the place to someone else? I think the choice is clear. Straight A people may not make doctors because they may have less than desirable character traits or the also show glimpses of undesirable bed side manners. Some things that you know from your experience that cannot be changed by education or training.
So what is my point? A few points really and I'm not giving my all since the 7 points may already cause some people to rue for the whole week.
1. Life ain't fair. If you can't take it, go suck shit.
2. If God gives you lemons, make the best lemonade possible.
3. Your child is ordinary. If s/he's special, s/he needs help. Otherwise, s/he is not the king/queen of the world. (Think about it. Even Elizabeth II is only Queen of Britain.)
4. No one owes you or your child a living. If you are not good enough, stand aside. Otherwise, do something to become better.
5. The best of the best need not get the best of anything available. Take it or leave it.
6. If you have time to complain, you should have used the time to do a better job in the first place.
7. If you think you're good, someone's better and s/he's out there.
I think I am bloody qualified to make those points above because I have internalised them, some the hard way.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Stingy Self-Righteous Slut
"I don't like to give her the red packet one."
"I'll give her clothes for the new year. But not the money."
"I tell everyone to pass her red packet to me. But they give it to her directly. They think I say for fun is it? I told them seriously to give the red packet to me."
"If she works very hard and puts in overtime, I may give her some extra, like $10. I won't give her the red packets one..."
"They should just give me the money and let me decide how I want to reward her accordingly."
How piercing, those words. Your maid is also a person. Chinese New Year is but an occasion where she will be getting her bonus for the year. Would you like it if your boss tells the company to pass him your bonus and he'll change it into clothes for you? Or give you a pathetic $10 when you work your ass off? How about as and when he decides to reward you for your work, he dispenses the booty accordingly?
My excellent dinner at Pizza Peperoni lost all its flavour.
"I'll give her clothes for the new year. But not the money."
"I tell everyone to pass her red packet to me. But they give it to her directly. They think I say for fun is it? I told them seriously to give the red packet to me."
"If she works very hard and puts in overtime, I may give her some extra, like $10. I won't give her the red packets one..."
"They should just give me the money and let me decide how I want to reward her accordingly."
How piercing, those words. Your maid is also a person. Chinese New Year is but an occasion where she will be getting her bonus for the year. Would you like it if your boss tells the company to pass him your bonus and he'll change it into clothes for you? Or give you a pathetic $10 when you work your ass off? How about as and when he decides to reward you for your work, he dispenses the booty accordingly?
My excellent dinner at Pizza Peperoni lost all its flavour.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
How I Intend to Win Miss Universe
Tongue-in-cheek entry. Not to be taken seriously.
Controversy controversy controversy. Miss Universe 2007 is fraught with controversies, ranging from a bald Miss Tanzania, a slipped-and-fallen Miss USA, Miss Brazil's politically incorrect dress to Miss Sweden withdrawal. To top it all off, Japan contestant who won Miss Universe had tiara fall off.
So Mr Trump's show does not look that good this year indeed. Must have been a bad year for him even though he won the hair match at WWE. So, how do I intend to win Miss Universe?
Simple.
Step number 1.
Go for extreme makeover. After extensive liposuction and lipid re-allocation, I should be able to pull of a Pamela Anderson 46F - 18 - 36 figure. I'm sure I'll be the one that every one looks at and sigh.
Of course, the 18 inch waist needs maintenance. So the food will have to give.
Step number 2.
Go for laser hair removal. How can a hairy ape win Miss Universe? Enough said.
Step number 3.
Dermal abrasion and skin smoothening. This is important as the skin must look lusciously translucent if I want any hope of crushing the competition at all. The judges must think that if they blow on my delicate skin, the skin will just break open, like some well-made soup dumpling.
Step number 4.
Laser whitening. SKII whitening will not be enough. I am no Sammi Cheng. And I really don't want to risk looking like her after her SKII frolic. Her face was swollen, as though she had frog-faced emphysema. My clear skin must look real. The blemishes must be removed, like weeds uprooted! Spare no effort.
Step number 5.
Hair implants. I can't do a Miss Tanzania. It's been done before and is no longer original. But I've got the perfect idea for my new crowning glory. There will be black, red, auburn, brown, and blond hair mixed for transplant. And I'll have all colours of hair. This way, choosing me would be but a natural conclusion because all races are represented on my head. Of course, I'll bring along Singapore's favourite son David Gan to help me with my hair when I'm at the contest! Maybe after that, he can bring me to shop at Prada and Gucci and LV.
Step number 6.
Make sure the swimsuit fits like a glove. It must look as though it has been designed with the perfect Miss Universe in mind.
Step number 7.
National costume. It will have long tresses which flow but there will be a cheongsum like cut at the side so that I can flaunt my smooth and alluring legs. 6 inch heels are necessary. Anti-skid - think Miss USA. And it will be satiny at the ass area so that it can slide on and off my pert buns with immaculate ease. There will be a swan head attached to the waist area a la Bjork, and the swan's head extends to and rests on my shoulder. My swan will carry an olive branch, signifying peace to the world. Why talk world peace when you can show it? A picture is worth a thousand words, no?
Step number 8.
Night gown segment. Ok, first, look young motherly. Miss Universe must exude some form of mature feminity amidst youthful charm. She must never look as though she is some sex-starved 'ho (thanks, Don Imus!) who can't wait to eat up the little boys leading her down the stage. And then learn to swirl in the night-gown. I think ballroom bootcamp will help.
Step number 9.
Bring underwire to prop up the 46F grapefruits. Or will they be cataloupes? On the actual day, the boobs must look as though they are ready to crack a few walnuts. They must be hard as steel ball bearings but still look soft and welcoming to the eyes. They can't touch them though.
Step number 10.
Having won Miss Body Beautiful, Miss Lovely Hair, Miss Congeniality (hey, that's a given. I'm not called the royal bitch for nothing!), I must clap happily and congratulate the winner for the national costume. Hey, you don't think my shit taste is going to get me anywhere are you? In fact, I'll hug the winner while I penknife a few slits in her dress. How's that for Miss Congeniality?
Step number 11.
Having made the Final 3, one of us will be Miss Universe. The question will be, what do you think is the most important thing Miss Universe must have. The contest is rigged. So this is only to be expected.
My answer: I'll slide off my evening gown showing my swimsuit. Then I'll peel off the bottom part of the bikini. And I'll say, "Miss Universe must have BALLS." Turn around and show the other finalists.
Both finalists would have fainted by now. Who's left but me for Miss Universe?
Controversy controversy controversy. Miss Universe 2007 is fraught with controversies, ranging from a bald Miss Tanzania, a slipped-and-fallen Miss USA, Miss Brazil's politically incorrect dress to Miss Sweden withdrawal. To top it all off, Japan contestant who won Miss Universe had tiara fall off.
So Mr Trump's show does not look that good this year indeed. Must have been a bad year for him even though he won the hair match at WWE. So, how do I intend to win Miss Universe?
Simple.
Step number 1.
Go for extreme makeover. After extensive liposuction and lipid re-allocation, I should be able to pull of a Pamela Anderson 46F - 18 - 36 figure. I'm sure I'll be the one that every one looks at and sigh.
Of course, the 18 inch waist needs maintenance. So the food will have to give.
Step number 2.
Go for laser hair removal. How can a hairy ape win Miss Universe? Enough said.
Step number 3.
Dermal abrasion and skin smoothening. This is important as the skin must look lusciously translucent if I want any hope of crushing the competition at all. The judges must think that if they blow on my delicate skin, the skin will just break open, like some well-made soup dumpling.
Step number 4.
Laser whitening. SKII whitening will not be enough. I am no Sammi Cheng. And I really don't want to risk looking like her after her SKII frolic. Her face was swollen, as though she had frog-faced emphysema. My clear skin must look real. The blemishes must be removed, like weeds uprooted! Spare no effort.
Step number 5.
Hair implants. I can't do a Miss Tanzania. It's been done before and is no longer original. But I've got the perfect idea for my new crowning glory. There will be black, red, auburn, brown, and blond hair mixed for transplant. And I'll have all colours of hair. This way, choosing me would be but a natural conclusion because all races are represented on my head. Of course, I'll bring along Singapore's favourite son David Gan to help me with my hair when I'm at the contest! Maybe after that, he can bring me to shop at Prada and Gucci and LV.
Step number 6.
Make sure the swimsuit fits like a glove. It must look as though it has been designed with the perfect Miss Universe in mind.
Step number 7.
National costume. It will have long tresses which flow but there will be a cheongsum like cut at the side so that I can flaunt my smooth and alluring legs. 6 inch heels are necessary. Anti-skid - think Miss USA. And it will be satiny at the ass area so that it can slide on and off my pert buns with immaculate ease. There will be a swan head attached to the waist area a la Bjork, and the swan's head extends to and rests on my shoulder. My swan will carry an olive branch, signifying peace to the world. Why talk world peace when you can show it? A picture is worth a thousand words, no?
Step number 8.
Night gown segment. Ok, first, look young motherly. Miss Universe must exude some form of mature feminity amidst youthful charm. She must never look as though she is some sex-starved 'ho (thanks, Don Imus!) who can't wait to eat up the little boys leading her down the stage. And then learn to swirl in the night-gown. I think ballroom bootcamp will help.
Step number 9.
Bring underwire to prop up the 46F grapefruits. Or will they be cataloupes? On the actual day, the boobs must look as though they are ready to crack a few walnuts. They must be hard as steel ball bearings but still look soft and welcoming to the eyes. They can't touch them though.
Step number 10.
Having won Miss Body Beautiful, Miss Lovely Hair, Miss Congeniality (hey, that's a given. I'm not called the royal bitch for nothing!), I must clap happily and congratulate the winner for the national costume. Hey, you don't think my shit taste is going to get me anywhere are you? In fact, I'll hug the winner while I penknife a few slits in her dress. How's that for Miss Congeniality?
Step number 11.
Having made the Final 3, one of us will be Miss Universe. The question will be, what do you think is the most important thing Miss Universe must have. The contest is rigged. So this is only to be expected.
My answer: I'll slide off my evening gown showing my swimsuit. Then I'll peel off the bottom part of the bikini. And I'll say, "Miss Universe must have BALLS." Turn around and show the other finalists.
Both finalists would have fainted by now. Who's left but me for Miss Universe?
I close my eyes...
Wanted to write about some song. The first line was "I close my eyes". Then I realised so many songs had the line "I close my eyes" in it.
"I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain
To see for certain what I thought I knew
Far far away, someone was weeping
But the world was sleeping
Any dream will do"
- Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat
I close my eyes
and there in the shadows I see your light
You come to me out of my dreams across
the night
- For Always
I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realize
There's more to love than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes
- Broken Vow
Look at me I'm riding high
don't know what's wrong with me.
Can't you see I'm not the guy
that I pretend to be.
Though I know I will be lonely
but our love will never die
I close my eyes, everyday, I close my eyes.
Ah......
- I Close My Eyes
But I closed my eyes
Steadied my feet on the ground
Raised my head to the sky
And though time's rolled by
Still I feel like that child
As I look at the moon
Maybe I grew up a little too soon
- Closed My Eyes
And many more.
Looks like song writers love to study the underside of their eyelids.
Wonder if there are any other phrases that we flogged to death like this one.
"I closed my eyes, drew back the curtain
To see for certain what I thought I knew
Far far away, someone was weeping
But the world was sleeping
Any dream will do"
- Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat
I close my eyes
and there in the shadows I see your light
You come to me out of my dreams across
the night
- For Always
I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realize
There's more to love than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes
- Broken Vow
Look at me I'm riding high
don't know what's wrong with me.
Can't you see I'm not the guy
that I pretend to be.
Though I know I will be lonely
but our love will never die
I close my eyes, everyday, I close my eyes.
Ah......
- I Close My Eyes
But I closed my eyes
Steadied my feet on the ground
Raised my head to the sky
And though time's rolled by
Still I feel like that child
As I look at the moon
Maybe I grew up a little too soon
- Closed My Eyes
And many more.
Looks like song writers love to study the underside of their eyelids.
Wonder if there are any other phrases that we flogged to death like this one.
ABCDEFG
Someone sent me a picture of a T-shirt with the print:
Do you know the meaning of ABCDEFG?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl.
Then do you know the meaning of GFEDCBA?
Girls Forget Everything Done & Catches new Boy Again.
Do you know the meaning of ABCDEFG?
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl.
Then do you know the meaning of GFEDCBA?
Girls Forget Everything Done & Catches new Boy Again.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Watch out for that...
Tree
At least 3 (or is it 4) Singaporeans have been killed by falling branches. Ok, I know this sounds sick but when I heard of the first case, I went "George, George, George of the Jungle..." But ageing trees and blustery winds are perfect settings for disasters.
Truck
8 year old school boy walks into path of reversing truck at Simei MRT station. I used to live there till two years back and I've had enough instances to know that this was an accident waiting to happen. So the truck slams into his face and knocks him down, rear wheel running over his head. And the aunt taking the boy home from school banged on the lorry to tell the driver that he had knocked her nephew down. To compensate, the driver moved the lorry forward, running over the boy's head again. A military medic who tried to render first aid found no pulse and shallow breathing. A doctor who rushed to the scene said it was too late to do anything.
Mosquito
Dengue fever cases on the rise again. And an octagenarian died of dengue haemorrhagic shock. Clear out your stagnant water and dry the place of unwanted puddles to prevent the mozzies from reproducing. Prevention is the best medicine.
Stingray
At least one of Singapore reservoirs is believed to contain stingrays which were released into the water body by pet lovers when the fish grew too big for their tanks. But this is bad for us because Singapore is beginning to allow the use of reservoirs, our raw water collection and storage areas, for water sports in a bid to encourage healthy living. These rays, according to the newspapers, can deliver a sting bad enough where amputation may be necessary in some cases. Someone should fish them all out and sell them as food. I love them barbecued and slathered with lots of chilli!
Atomic bomb
US and other countries are beginning to worry about Iran's uranium enrichment programme. They believe Iran will have nuclear weapons in three years' time. I only hope that they can't make proper launchers so whatever they fire will fall onto themselves.
At least 3 (or is it 4) Singaporeans have been killed by falling branches. Ok, I know this sounds sick but when I heard of the first case, I went "George, George, George of the Jungle..." But ageing trees and blustery winds are perfect settings for disasters.
Truck
8 year old school boy walks into path of reversing truck at Simei MRT station. I used to live there till two years back and I've had enough instances to know that this was an accident waiting to happen. So the truck slams into his face and knocks him down, rear wheel running over his head. And the aunt taking the boy home from school banged on the lorry to tell the driver that he had knocked her nephew down. To compensate, the driver moved the lorry forward, running over the boy's head again. A military medic who tried to render first aid found no pulse and shallow breathing. A doctor who rushed to the scene said it was too late to do anything.
Mosquito
Dengue fever cases on the rise again. And an octagenarian died of dengue haemorrhagic shock. Clear out your stagnant water and dry the place of unwanted puddles to prevent the mozzies from reproducing. Prevention is the best medicine.
Stingray
At least one of Singapore reservoirs is believed to contain stingrays which were released into the water body by pet lovers when the fish grew too big for their tanks. But this is bad for us because Singapore is beginning to allow the use of reservoirs, our raw water collection and storage areas, for water sports in a bid to encourage healthy living. These rays, according to the newspapers, can deliver a sting bad enough where amputation may be necessary in some cases. Someone should fish them all out and sell them as food. I love them barbecued and slathered with lots of chilli!
Atomic bomb
US and other countries are beginning to worry about Iran's uranium enrichment programme. They believe Iran will have nuclear weapons in three years' time. I only hope that they can't make proper launchers so whatever they fire will fall onto themselves.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Number 500
This is my 500th post in this blog.
Amazing, isn't it? I recall the early days when I had weaponsofmathdestruction and was told to take it down because freedom of speech was not allowed in Sing... I mean in PRC... Well, that's the past, isn't it?
One can shut another but cannot stop another from thinking.
It is the thinkers who are the scary ones. Next comes those who speak without thinking.
In a way, words tend not to betray a person that much. Sentences do. Paragraphs help to set the context but context-setting is a hypocritical exercise of sorts.
I'm just glad I've come so far.
Looking forward to the next 500 posts.
Amazing, isn't it? I recall the early days when I had weaponsofmathdestruction and was told to take it down because freedom of speech was not allowed in Sing... I mean in PRC... Well, that's the past, isn't it?
One can shut another but cannot stop another from thinking.
It is the thinkers who are the scary ones. Next comes those who speak without thinking.
In a way, words tend not to betray a person that much. Sentences do. Paragraphs help to set the context but context-setting is a hypocritical exercise of sorts.
I'm just glad I've come so far.
Looking forward to the next 500 posts.
Friday, May 18, 2007
Both Tragic
"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."
George Bernard Shaw, "Man and Superman" (1903), act 4
Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)
George Bernard Shaw, "Man and Superman" (1903), act 4
Irish dramatist & socialist (1856 - 1950)
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