There is no such thing as a celebration without good food. Good food, by commonsense definition, is food that is neither good for your heart (or for that matter, all your organs, except for taste) nor waistline. So here is what the newspaper supplement has to tell us about the goodies that we stuff our faces with during Chinese New Year. Of course, I'll tell you what I think!
Fried battered nian gao (55 g) - 224 Cal, 5.4 g fat.
Nian gao, the gooey, glutinous mass of sugared flour cake, is a must have for Chinese New Year. It signifies "progress with every step". If you love to eat it, go ahead and eat it. Otherwise, do what I do - I buy it, display it, mould it and dump it.
Roast duck 3 (paper thin) slices (60 g) - 143 Cal, 10 g fat.
I think this is a conspiracy. All other times, I bet you the whole roast duck is 143 Cal! Unfortunately, roast duck is a perennial favourite year round and if your waistline doesn't seem to be shrinking despite your trillion crunches a day, perhaps it is time to reconsider to duck the duck.
Braised dried oysters with mixed vegetables and fatt choy (60 g) - 50 Cal, 4 g fat.
Dietiticians of the world ought to be shot! And then shot and shot and shot and shot... you get the message. Can you imagine how small a 60 g portion of this delicacy is? I cannot imagine that this is... ok, 50 Cal. It's not as bad a 3 paper thin slices of roast duck. But still!
Tossed fish salad (100 g) - 145 Cal, 11 g fat.
The tossed fish salad represents brisk business and many people go through at least a good handful of meals featuring this Cantonese favourite. One way of reducing the fat and calorie content is to avoid adding all the oil into the salad. Ask for half or a third of the bowl of oil to be added. Each gram of fat less could help reduce the calorie count a little. Trust me, it ain't that bad with less oil.
Chicken curry with coconut milk (220 g) - 342 Cal, 28 g fat.
I have yet to figure why anyone would eat chicken curry (a dish typically served to visitors at wakes) during Chinese New Year. It is as though the "heat" and the overly rich foods aren't enough to overload your poor stomach that you need to add to its burden by drinking copious coconut milk! I mean, aren't we happier eating pineapple tarts, bak kwa, kueh lapis, love letters and other artery clogging items?
Pineapple tarts (20 g) - 82 Cal, 4 g fat.
Kueh lapis (50 g) - 247 Cal, 19 g fat.
Bak kwa aka jerky 3 coin pieces (45 g) - 180 Cal, 6 g fat.
Love letters 3 pieces (40 g) - 172 Cal, 5 g fat.
One cannot help but need to place these four items together because almost each household one visits during the Chinese New Year will bombard guests with versions of these. It is hard to accept that a pop a mouthful goodies can be so chockful of calories. 82 calories for a pineapple tart! My goodness you tart! What hedonistic abandon! A slice of two bite kueh lapis makes you go for another and before you know it, you probably have eaten three slices. That's about the calorific equivalent of a place of wanton noodles! The other culprit for the grow in your hips moment is bak kwa aka jerky. Trust me - there is absolutely no f**king way to stop at 45 g. I confess I could polish off five times of that without breaking into a sweat! Melt in your mouth love letters are another of your worst enemies. Many friends can easily clean out half a tin - that's a whopping 30 pieces! Now, with these wonderful food friends, who needs enemies?
Other food items to add more dampener to your already dripping wet blanket:
Peanuts (20 g, about 15 or a handful) - 120 Cal, 10 g fat.
Melon seeds (8 g, about 1 tbs) - 30 Cal, 3 g fat.
Mandarin orange (116 g, 1 whole) - 51 Cal, 0.3 g fat.
Kueh bangkit (18 g or 3 pieces) - 69 Cal, 2 g fat.
Sharksfin with crabmeat (295 g, half a bowl or better known as two mouthfuls) - 162 Cal, 7 g fat.
I wonder why our bodies NEVER adapt to the better world we are in and learn to burn more energy with less activity. I am sure there must be a genetic flaw.
Meanwhile, Happy Chinese New Year. I hear the new wardrobe calling.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
What Grandma Probably Taught...
I'm sure there were many lessons which my maternal grandma taught me when she looked after me when I was younger.
Many of these lessons were probably never written down or verbalisable in words or speech but I'm sure I've learnt something from her.
I am good at marketing. This is what I learnt from her. One lesson then was to see what other grandmas would be picking at the market and go for similar produce. Grandmas of yore were savvy at marketing and following them and grabbing items similar to what they pick from the common pile often guaranteed results. That can't be said for now, since I've outgrown the modern day grandma in terms of marketing abilities.
I am good at food. I probably can tell you what's wrong with each dish I am served but courtesy dictates I bite my tongue and swallow the food. Still, the palatte, once refined, can never be dulled.
I also believe a big indirect lesson that I learnt. If there is an advantage to be taken of, make sure the gains and returns are immediate. Take and run. Never invest in what will be. Instead, take what is, be satisfied and scout for new bargains.
Modern grandparents and younger folks without shrewd, savvy grandmas to teach them life lessons should learn something from this entry that I share (which is something my grandma also said to do).
Many of these lessons were probably never written down or verbalisable in words or speech but I'm sure I've learnt something from her.
I am good at marketing. This is what I learnt from her. One lesson then was to see what other grandmas would be picking at the market and go for similar produce. Grandmas of yore were savvy at marketing and following them and grabbing items similar to what they pick from the common pile often guaranteed results. That can't be said for now, since I've outgrown the modern day grandma in terms of marketing abilities.
I am good at food. I probably can tell you what's wrong with each dish I am served but courtesy dictates I bite my tongue and swallow the food. Still, the palatte, once refined, can never be dulled.
I also believe a big indirect lesson that I learnt. If there is an advantage to be taken of, make sure the gains and returns are immediate. Take and run. Never invest in what will be. Instead, take what is, be satisfied and scout for new bargains.
Modern grandparents and younger folks without shrewd, savvy grandmas to teach them life lessons should learn something from this entry that I share (which is something my grandma also said to do).
Thursday, January 22, 2009
General Election 2009?
I seem to see signs pointing to a General Election in 2009.
We have got MPs who are dead or gravely injured. But this is not the main purpose to call elections.
The government will need a mandate to push forward their fiscal policies to steer Singapore through its worst and likely most protracted recession since Independence. This means Singaporeans should be led by a team of ministars, I mean ministers, who have the people's mandate to push forward the recovery package.
Let's see if my predictions are correct this time. When? Some time mid September.
We have got MPs who are dead or gravely injured. But this is not the main purpose to call elections.
The government will need a mandate to push forward their fiscal policies to steer Singapore through its worst and likely most protracted recession since Independence. This means Singaporeans should be led by a team of ministars, I mean ministers, who have the people's mandate to push forward the recovery package.
Let's see if my predictions are correct this time. When? Some time mid September.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Overheard - WARNING: RISQUE CONTENT!
There was this loudmouthed guy on the bus today complaining about his encounter with another guy who is straight but would pretend to be bisexual to make money off gays.
And then he went on to complain at the top of his voice why he wasn't happy being thought of as someone who would betray himself just to earn money. His example was quite hilarious.
You give a chao Ah Beng $500 and ask him to go f**k ass. If he is low class and he is straight, he will f**k the gay's ass because $500 is a lot of money. If he is high class, he will tell you to keep the money and play with yourself.
So is he trying to compare himself with a poorly educated lout?
Then he bitched big time repeatedly about how he did not like being thought of as someone (who would do it with another guy) for them money.
Not only was the talk overly lewd for the passengers, the way he spoke made many of us want to turn back to look at the speaker.
I managed to take a glimpse of him as I alighted. OMG! If I were a straight woman in need of some gratification, I'd most likely need to be knocked out first before I would end up with a male pros like him. I think if anyone would think he was saleable (to men or women, regardless), it's already flattering him. Who'd want to be caught dead with something like him?
And then he went on to complain at the top of his voice why he wasn't happy being thought of as someone who would betray himself just to earn money. His example was quite hilarious.
You give a chao Ah Beng $500 and ask him to go f**k ass. If he is low class and he is straight, he will f**k the gay's ass because $500 is a lot of money. If he is high class, he will tell you to keep the money and play with yourself.
So is he trying to compare himself with a poorly educated lout?
Then he bitched big time repeatedly about how he did not like being thought of as someone (who would do it with another guy) for them money.
Not only was the talk overly lewd for the passengers, the way he spoke made many of us want to turn back to look at the speaker.
I managed to take a glimpse of him as I alighted. OMG! If I were a straight woman in need of some gratification, I'd most likely need to be knocked out first before I would end up with a male pros like him. I think if anyone would think he was saleable (to men or women, regardless), it's already flattering him. Who'd want to be caught dead with something like him?
So WRONG!
Singapore - More than half the investors who lodged complaints over the way they were sold investment products linked to Lehman Brothers will get some money back.
And about a quarter will be fully compensated, ending months of worry that started when their investments went belly-up together with the collapsed US investment bank.
This is so wrong. Greed should not be guaranteed. Instead, these investors should be given a goodwill payout NOT AMOUNTING to an admission of guilt.
There is a huge difference between an outright compensation and a goodwill payout. The premise of the former suggests that there are some greed that are more acceptable than other greed. There are some gullibility that are less heinous than other guillibility. It also assumes that when you are old, you need not be responsible for your actions.
In the latter, you acknowledge that all are placed on an equal slate and then judged and sentenced equally. But out of goodwill, a certain more vulnerable group is given a little assistance to alleviate their sufferings from their mistakes. This, itself, is already a less than ideal situation but to give an almost outright compensation to the "old and guillible" is really BS.
Surely, these OAGs, being salt of the earth compared to the young and rapacious, should know better the downfalls of the greedy, especially over an additional 1% interest per annum.
I feel sorry for those who did not get any money back in this circumstance, though my definition of the ideal case is for all investors to suffer comparable (percentage) losses.
And about a quarter will be fully compensated, ending months of worry that started when their investments went belly-up together with the collapsed US investment bank.
This is so wrong. Greed should not be guaranteed. Instead, these investors should be given a goodwill payout NOT AMOUNTING to an admission of guilt.
There is a huge difference between an outright compensation and a goodwill payout. The premise of the former suggests that there are some greed that are more acceptable than other greed. There are some gullibility that are less heinous than other guillibility. It also assumes that when you are old, you need not be responsible for your actions.
In the latter, you acknowledge that all are placed on an equal slate and then judged and sentenced equally. But out of goodwill, a certain more vulnerable group is given a little assistance to alleviate their sufferings from their mistakes. This, itself, is already a less than ideal situation but to give an almost outright compensation to the "old and guillible" is really BS.
Surely, these OAGs, being salt of the earth compared to the young and rapacious, should know better the downfalls of the greedy, especially over an additional 1% interest per annum.
I feel sorry for those who did not get any money back in this circumstance, though my definition of the ideal case is for all investors to suffer comparable (percentage) losses.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Professional Conduct and Courtesy
I had to give a short lecture to each class I teach on the above topics recently.
Is it so difficult to come to class prepared? All I ask are for readings to be done. How do I have a meaningful discussion if the readings are not done?
Is it so difficult to hand in your work on time? What do you mean by "the printers in the University are all faulty? I gave you more than 4 days to work on your paper. Jolly well have the paper printed first thing on Monday. There should be no reason why the paper cannot be handed in on Tuesday!
Is it so difficult to ask for an extension? I may not necessarily grant you one but a request is a sign of interest in the work. If you are not interested, the heck I am!
Is it so difficult to sign up for a timeslot to meet me for YOUR writing conference timing? It is YOUR writing conference, not mine. If you don't see me, you could end up getting a crap grade. The signing up sheet has been outside my door since Tuesday and 11.40 pm last night, YOU ask me if I have time on Monday to meet you? What do YOU think?
Is it so difficult for you to take note of the administrative details related to your assignment? Do you see "Personal Assistant to ..." or "Secretary to ..." following my name?
The lack of professional conduct and courtesy, unfortunately, extends far beyond the classroom. But that would be another blog entry, wouldn't it?
Is it so difficult to come to class prepared? All I ask are for readings to be done. How do I have a meaningful discussion if the readings are not done?
Is it so difficult to hand in your work on time? What do you mean by "the printers in the University are all faulty? I gave you more than 4 days to work on your paper. Jolly well have the paper printed first thing on Monday. There should be no reason why the paper cannot be handed in on Tuesday!
Is it so difficult to ask for an extension? I may not necessarily grant you one but a request is a sign of interest in the work. If you are not interested, the heck I am!
Is it so difficult to sign up for a timeslot to meet me for YOUR writing conference timing? It is YOUR writing conference, not mine. If you don't see me, you could end up getting a crap grade. The signing up sheet has been outside my door since Tuesday and 11.40 pm last night, YOU ask me if I have time on Monday to meet you? What do YOU think?
Is it so difficult for you to take note of the administrative details related to your assignment? Do you see "Personal Assistant to ..." or "Secretary to ..." following my name?
The lack of professional conduct and courtesy, unfortunately, extends far beyond the classroom. But that would be another blog entry, wouldn't it?
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Floored unknowingly
I woke up with a rather bad bout diarrhoea this morning. Surprisingly, it did not hit me until I woke up for work. By the time I left for home, I had four runs.
I went to work despite the malady, having to make one more detour along the way. During the class, I had to will myself not to have to make another run.
Meanwhile, during the course of the morning, I started shivering and the body started aching. By noon, I was shivering so bad and feeling so cold that my hands were beginning to have pins and needles sensations. Blood flow to the extremities was now reduced because the body needed to preserve core functionalities. Blood is thus kept to the critical organs.
My head was already throbbing by then and all my major joints were flaring up with pain. Big time! When I left the university to take a cab to the doctor, I was shivering in the noon sun. To think I'd pull on a thin cotton shirt in 10 deg C New York and yet be chattering my teeth off in the 30 deg C heat of equatorial Singapore.
The journey to the doctor was ok enough; the cab driver and I chatted some and that took some of the discomfort off my mind. And when I arrived, that was when hell literally froze over. I was thankful to get the final seat outside the clinic but I was shivering. I could tell my mouth was getting parched and the head was spinning and throbbing in pain at the same time. The body could not tolerate being in any position at all because the joints were all screaming out in sharp pain. The skin was all tender and even the wind makes the body hurt.
And then the guy beside me asked me, "How do you spell 'cough'?" Simple enough question. I was tempted to say, "Cof," - imagine in my miserable state, I still had my sense of humour - but I thought this was my ticket to a return favour. After a while, I asked Mr Cough to look after my seat and belongings while I took a quick visit to the 7-Eleven next to the clinic to get some water. I was drying up and I knew it.
7-Eleven charged exorbitantly for the distilled water they put on sale. Oh, what the f***. So what if it is $1.80 for two 500-ml bottles when it should be no more than $1? Get it first and regret later. Lugging the two bottles out - trust me, in that pain, a litre of water ain't light load - I started sipping on a bottle. I guess it made good sense then because I was feeling a little nauseous and I didn't think I'd enjoy puking water all over my because I drank too quickly.
Finally, after waiting a good 50 minutes, the clinic opened. By then, I must have gone to hell and returned a few times. The registration was fast enough and I was third in the numbered queue and sixth overall (3 appointment cases, who did not need queue numbers). I waited for another good one hour to see the doctor. There was a baby on check-up, who was first in the numbered queue and this brat was screaming on and off at the top of its lungs. I wish I could go up and kiss it, so it knows what it means to be sick and miserable. And the parent was such an idiot. I believe that while the baby was being examined, the grandmother joined in to see the doctor, making the "first" consultation stretch into almost 25 minutes. Why are babies so troublesome?
Mr Cough was pretty fast. When he was out, I was feeling so weak it took me some effort to pick up my heavy bag and file to get into the consultation room.
After I described my symptoms to the doc, he started checking me. My fever was 38.8 deg C. My stomach was full of flatulence. My body ache and headache and the whole pain works were due the fever. And then he felt my arm and said, "Odd. You're burning up and yet you feel so cool all around." He then took my temperature from the right ear (the first was from the left) and it registered 38.7 deg C. So he was convinced that my fever was really bad. And I'm convinced I'm one cool guy, even if I have fever.
Doc then said to avoid coffee, tea, milk, oily stuff and just eat whatever I have a fancy in. If I don't feel like eating at all, it was also fine; he recommended isotonic drinks if I wanted to have them. And the diagosis? I got a particularly virulent strain of the gastro-entritis virus and it was through close contact with someone with that virus. The fever was a result of the viral infection. At that moment, I thought I should go on a witch-hunt.
I came home at around 4 pm, cleaned my hotspots with a cold towel and went to bed. I never slept so well in my life, I bet. I know I was in a really bad shape because I would never have gone to bed without showering first, but the condition I was in made showering literally impossible. How does one shower when in such pain, such cold and such unsteadiness?
Few hours of deep sleep and a few trips to the loo (to pee) later, housemate returned and asked if I would be interested in some soup. Soup? I think I could but I don't know if it's going to agree with the stomach. I finally got out of bed at around 7.40 pm for two bowls of water-cress soup. It was a little too rich for the weakened system, I guess. I just expelled it half an hour ago. It must be the soup because it was rather rich - meat stock - and I hadn't eaten since noon.
After the soup, I slept for another two hours, got up and medicated. Then I decided a shower was in order. After ablution, the sweat began. I was sweating non-stop. The fever broke. I took the opportunity to do up the laundry as I waited for the sweating to abate. And to keep myself entertained, I blogged.
My shirt is rather soaked at this moment. I'm going to change and then go back to sleep. I'm not going to work tomorrow.
I went to work despite the malady, having to make one more detour along the way. During the class, I had to will myself not to have to make another run.
Meanwhile, during the course of the morning, I started shivering and the body started aching. By noon, I was shivering so bad and feeling so cold that my hands were beginning to have pins and needles sensations. Blood flow to the extremities was now reduced because the body needed to preserve core functionalities. Blood is thus kept to the critical organs.
My head was already throbbing by then and all my major joints were flaring up with pain. Big time! When I left the university to take a cab to the doctor, I was shivering in the noon sun. To think I'd pull on a thin cotton shirt in 10 deg C New York and yet be chattering my teeth off in the 30 deg C heat of equatorial Singapore.
The journey to the doctor was ok enough; the cab driver and I chatted some and that took some of the discomfort off my mind. And when I arrived, that was when hell literally froze over. I was thankful to get the final seat outside the clinic but I was shivering. I could tell my mouth was getting parched and the head was spinning and throbbing in pain at the same time. The body could not tolerate being in any position at all because the joints were all screaming out in sharp pain. The skin was all tender and even the wind makes the body hurt.
And then the guy beside me asked me, "How do you spell 'cough'?" Simple enough question. I was tempted to say, "Cof," - imagine in my miserable state, I still had my sense of humour - but I thought this was my ticket to a return favour. After a while, I asked Mr Cough to look after my seat and belongings while I took a quick visit to the 7-Eleven next to the clinic to get some water. I was drying up and I knew it.
7-Eleven charged exorbitantly for the distilled water they put on sale. Oh, what the f***. So what if it is $1.80 for two 500-ml bottles when it should be no more than $1? Get it first and regret later. Lugging the two bottles out - trust me, in that pain, a litre of water ain't light load - I started sipping on a bottle. I guess it made good sense then because I was feeling a little nauseous and I didn't think I'd enjoy puking water all over my because I drank too quickly.
Finally, after waiting a good 50 minutes, the clinic opened. By then, I must have gone to hell and returned a few times. The registration was fast enough and I was third in the numbered queue and sixth overall (3 appointment cases, who did not need queue numbers). I waited for another good one hour to see the doctor. There was a baby on check-up, who was first in the numbered queue and this brat was screaming on and off at the top of its lungs. I wish I could go up and kiss it, so it knows what it means to be sick and miserable. And the parent was such an idiot. I believe that while the baby was being examined, the grandmother joined in to see the doctor, making the "first" consultation stretch into almost 25 minutes. Why are babies so troublesome?
Mr Cough was pretty fast. When he was out, I was feeling so weak it took me some effort to pick up my heavy bag and file to get into the consultation room.
After I described my symptoms to the doc, he started checking me. My fever was 38.8 deg C. My stomach was full of flatulence. My body ache and headache and the whole pain works were due the fever. And then he felt my arm and said, "Odd. You're burning up and yet you feel so cool all around." He then took my temperature from the right ear (the first was from the left) and it registered 38.7 deg C. So he was convinced that my fever was really bad. And I'm convinced I'm one cool guy, even if I have fever.
Doc then said to avoid coffee, tea, milk, oily stuff and just eat whatever I have a fancy in. If I don't feel like eating at all, it was also fine; he recommended isotonic drinks if I wanted to have them. And the diagosis? I got a particularly virulent strain of the gastro-entritis virus and it was through close contact with someone with that virus. The fever was a result of the viral infection. At that moment, I thought I should go on a witch-hunt.
I came home at around 4 pm, cleaned my hotspots with a cold towel and went to bed. I never slept so well in my life, I bet. I know I was in a really bad shape because I would never have gone to bed without showering first, but the condition I was in made showering literally impossible. How does one shower when in such pain, such cold and such unsteadiness?
Few hours of deep sleep and a few trips to the loo (to pee) later, housemate returned and asked if I would be interested in some soup. Soup? I think I could but I don't know if it's going to agree with the stomach. I finally got out of bed at around 7.40 pm for two bowls of water-cress soup. It was a little too rich for the weakened system, I guess. I just expelled it half an hour ago. It must be the soup because it was rather rich - meat stock - and I hadn't eaten since noon.
After the soup, I slept for another two hours, got up and medicated. Then I decided a shower was in order. After ablution, the sweat began. I was sweating non-stop. The fever broke. I took the opportunity to do up the laundry as I waited for the sweating to abate. And to keep myself entertained, I blogged.
My shirt is rather soaked at this moment. I'm going to change and then go back to sleep. I'm not going to work tomorrow.
Monday, January 12, 2009
By who's standards?
The GCE O Level results are released today and the candidates that I presented for the math papers returned to collect the fruits of their labour.
The results were not astounding - of the 5 distinction (A2) grades garnered by the entire cohort of 60, my group of 23 picked up one. The rest went to the top class. While my group scored well for percentage passes, the students did not measure up in terms of percentage distinctions, not at least when compared against the national average. But the students were nonetheless elated with their results.
I should say I was rather disappointed when the students were so happy with their results. There was a kind of sadness in my happiness. I'm happy for them because when I had them, they were consistently failing all their tests and exams. I'm sad because I wonder how I will ever come to terms with their "satisfaction" criteria.
I guess this is a continuing journey of reviewing the standards that I used to know. These students, who had been consistently failing, had received reasonably respectable passing grades. On fact, a number of them have had good passing grades. These grades, to them, are like nectar to a parched man. They represented the sweet taste of victory.
To me, however, these were at best mediocre grades. But who am I to say so when even the principal congratulated the group for their "better than national average" showing.
It did not take me long to realise the irony of celebrating small victories. These are the roots of mediocrity. To partake in these celebrations is to magnify the trivial achievements and make them seem monumental. If mankind thrived this way, we would never be able to send anyone to the moon. Our neighbours up north would never be inspired to send a spaceship to the sun. Never mind it'll be too hot because they will fire off in the night.
Even as I remind myself, "Even the dull, they have their story," I cannot help but wonder if we are giving the dull a voice but never teaching them to grow any smarter. So, if not to make the dull sharper, what is the point of listening?
I am not for using my standards to measure my students' achivements. But if we were to benchmark the school's results according to national averages, then isn't it more sensible to remind the school and the students that there is no big deal being around or slightly better than the national average? To be truly good, one has to transcend this mindset and surpass national standards significantly.
But who is willing to put in the hard work? Who is willing to accept another's standards? Who are we bluffing when we shortchange the people to whom we are going to entrust ourselves in our silver years? I guess we reap what we sow. But I am not willing to accept this - in my books, they had failed to meet the standards which define excellence even if they had outdone themselves.
The results were not astounding - of the 5 distinction (A2) grades garnered by the entire cohort of 60, my group of 23 picked up one. The rest went to the top class. While my group scored well for percentage passes, the students did not measure up in terms of percentage distinctions, not at least when compared against the national average. But the students were nonetheless elated with their results.
I should say I was rather disappointed when the students were so happy with their results. There was a kind of sadness in my happiness. I'm happy for them because when I had them, they were consistently failing all their tests and exams. I'm sad because I wonder how I will ever come to terms with their "satisfaction" criteria.
I guess this is a continuing journey of reviewing the standards that I used to know. These students, who had been consistently failing, had received reasonably respectable passing grades. On fact, a number of them have had good passing grades. These grades, to them, are like nectar to a parched man. They represented the sweet taste of victory.
To me, however, these were at best mediocre grades. But who am I to say so when even the principal congratulated the group for their "better than national average" showing.
It did not take me long to realise the irony of celebrating small victories. These are the roots of mediocrity. To partake in these celebrations is to magnify the trivial achievements and make them seem monumental. If mankind thrived this way, we would never be able to send anyone to the moon. Our neighbours up north would never be inspired to send a spaceship to the sun. Never mind it'll be too hot because they will fire off in the night.
Even as I remind myself, "Even the dull, they have their story," I cannot help but wonder if we are giving the dull a voice but never teaching them to grow any smarter. So, if not to make the dull sharper, what is the point of listening?
I am not for using my standards to measure my students' achivements. But if we were to benchmark the school's results according to national averages, then isn't it more sensible to remind the school and the students that there is no big deal being around or slightly better than the national average? To be truly good, one has to transcend this mindset and surpass national standards significantly.
But who is willing to put in the hard work? Who is willing to accept another's standards? Who are we bluffing when we shortchange the people to whom we are going to entrust ourselves in our silver years? I guess we reap what we sow. But I am not willing to accept this - in my books, they had failed to meet the standards which define excellence even if they had outdone themselves.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Errant Employees
Was at an outlet of a restaurant chain I frequent. Usually, I would not order the same dishes as my dining partner because I like to have variety. However, today, I decided to go for the same dishes because I was craving the same food.
The dishes arrived and both of us ordered rice topped with tonkatsu (deep fried breaded pork loin). We both removed the pork pieces and placed them on a dish. When I looked at the two portions, mine was at most half of what my friend got. This was unacceptable because this suggests poor quality control in the kitchen.
We called the waitress and impressed on her the situation. Not long later, the manager came, saw the portions and then said she would speak with the kitchen. She even had to take both portions into the kitchen to show them.
After a long while, a new, roughly equivalent portion was served. We actually had to remind them to serve. This time, the meat was way overdone. The bread crumbs were nearly burnt. The meat was tough as rubber.
I could have kicked up another fuss but I simply told the manager that I won't make her life hard. Anyway, it was just feedback that if they do not get their kitchen in order, their business was going to suffer.
Only then did I find out that the kitchen manager was on leave today and the kitchen crew had run amok.
What luck to have such errant employees.
The dishes arrived and both of us ordered rice topped with tonkatsu (deep fried breaded pork loin). We both removed the pork pieces and placed them on a dish. When I looked at the two portions, mine was at most half of what my friend got. This was unacceptable because this suggests poor quality control in the kitchen.
We called the waitress and impressed on her the situation. Not long later, the manager came, saw the portions and then said she would speak with the kitchen. She even had to take both portions into the kitchen to show them.
After a long while, a new, roughly equivalent portion was served. We actually had to remind them to serve. This time, the meat was way overdone. The bread crumbs were nearly burnt. The meat was tough as rubber.
I could have kicked up another fuss but I simply told the manager that I won't make her life hard. Anyway, it was just feedback that if they do not get their kitchen in order, their business was going to suffer.
Only then did I find out that the kitchen manager was on leave today and the kitchen crew had run amok.
What luck to have such errant employees.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Fairy Tale Endings
TV series Little Nyonya ended recently and many viewers are grousing about the disappointing ending.
Many people thought the long suffering female lead Yueniang should be married to the rich man's son Chen Xi. They rationalised that after having gone through so much together, they should end up together.
Eh, WAKE UP! Since when do such things happen in real life? More often than not, we end up carrying the can and get asked to make do with the lemons we are given. And by the way, since when did love or trials-and-tribulations got to do with anything?
Fairy tale endings should be banned the day Hans Christian Anderson died.
Many people thought the long suffering female lead Yueniang should be married to the rich man's son Chen Xi. They rationalised that after having gone through so much together, they should end up together.
Eh, WAKE UP! Since when do such things happen in real life? More often than not, we end up carrying the can and get asked to make do with the lemons we are given. And by the way, since when did love or trials-and-tribulations got to do with anything?
Fairy tale endings should be banned the day Hans Christian Anderson died.
如燕 【小娘惹主題曲】
愿意合上眼才能美梦无边
别让悔熏乌了从前
也许碎片才能让回忆展颜
何妨瓷花拼凑明天
谁带我寻获幸福的模
却自己谜中困锁
谁为我留下缱绻的天涯
信物是抹晚霞
Chorus:
思念如燕它飞舞舌尖
若是真爱配尝几分苦甜
意念婆娑时间里推磨
追随到何处才结果
燕如针线在青空缝编
几幅女红将以泪缀点
誓言斑驳情雾只是经过
风雨中且让我盈步婀娜
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
What's the Big Deal?
Mumbai Terror Attacks - 1 Singaporean died.
Car crash at 143 km mark of the Malaysian North South Highway (Tangkak) - 2 Singaporeans died.
Bangkok Santika Night Club New Year Celebrations fire - 3 Singaporeans died.
Taking things in perspective... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Car crash at 143 km mark of the Malaysian North South Highway (Tangkak) - 2 Singaporeans died.
Bangkok Santika Night Club New Year Celebrations fire - 3 Singaporeans died.
Taking things in perspective... Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Ominous
Just realised that the fengshui wheel that is supposed to bring in wealth to Singapore, aka the Singapore Flyer, stopped spinning since 23 Dec. Small wonder Singapore has gone into a real mess since then. The rotting has started long time ago but the rot must have been so bad that the poor wheel must have felt strained scooping in what is there to fill out what is not.
See, what's the problem with relying on fengshui so much!
See, what's the problem with relying on fengshui so much!
Monday, January 05, 2009
Spoken in a surprised fashion
Good: "Guess what? My favourite uncle is coming," Little Johnny ejeculated.
Bad: "Guess what? My favourite uncle is coming." Little Johnny ejeculated.
Bad: "Guess what? My favourite uncle is coming." Little Johnny ejeculated.
Saturday, January 03, 2009
Some cheer
Some of the most hilarious extra marital affairs
1. A woman was making out with her lover when she heard her husband return. "Quick! Into the corner and don't move!" The woman slathered her lover with baby oil and pasted thick plaster powder over him. "Stand there and pretend you're a statue," she whispered.
When her husband walked in, he put down his bags and asked what the "thing" was. "Oh, just a statue. The Adams have one and I thought it was quite pretty. So I got one for us to." The man left the matter as that.
That night, when the wife was fast asleep, the man woke up at 2 am and made a sandwich and took a glass of milk to the statue and told him, "There. Have something to eat and drink. Don't be like me. I was starving for three days when I was made to act like one at the Adams."
2. A man and his wife were both having affairs and so they were often not spending their nights together. One night, both were home and felt apologetic for their actions. After a bout of passionate making out, they both went to bed. At 2 am, the wife suddenly sat up in bed and shouted in her sleep, "Quick, out of the window! My husband's back!" Upon hearing this, the husband immediately grabbed his clothes and jumped out of the window.
3. In a backward seaside village, the male villagers often had to go out to sea to fish and were rarely at home. The female villagers were mostly having affairs with the men who were not back. After each tryst, they would go to the village pastor to confess to their sins and ask for forgiveness. After hearing the word "affair" for umpteen times, the pastor decided to Bowdlerize their sessions by having the women use the term "fall down" instead. So the confessions were less lurid.
After many years, the old pastor retired and handed over his duties to a newcomer. Before he left, he asked the village headman to convey the meaning of "fall down" to the new pastor. Unfortunately, the headman forgot.
One fine day, the pastor approached the headman and asked that a new road be built. He explained that apparently, many women had "fallen down". The headman started laughing when he realised his omission. Just then, the pastor asked rather agitatedly, "What's so funny, Headman? Don't you know your wife has "fallen down" three times last week?"
4. Rick died and was due to be cremated. When his body was checked, the undertaker found that he had the longest dick he had ever seen and decided to keep the organ for posterity. Mouthing his apologies to the already dead Rick, the undertaker explained that the tool should be kept so that Rick's descendants had something to remember him for.
That night, Rick went home and carefully unwrapped his precious cargo, telling his wife that she would be seeing something she would not have seen in her entire life. When the package was opened, the wife gasped, "Oh my god! Is Rick dead already?"
5. After trying many many times to get a son after having two daughters, a couple finally succeeded in getting one. It was a long process and when the child was born, the man was flabbergasted. "Wife," he said, "that is the ugliest baby boy I've seen. Are you sure you didn't have him with another man?" The wife looked lovingly at him and replied sweetly, "Not this time, dear. This one is really with you."
6. On his death bed, Jack looked at Jean as he tried to speak with her. "My dear Jean...," Jack began. "You're tired. Go to sleep." Jean replied. "No, I don't have much time any more. I need to confess some things to you." Jack struggled. "You don't have to. You're tired. Have some rest." Jean comforted him. "No, I really need to do it. I want to die peacefully. Jean, I've slept with your sister, your best friend and your friends." Jack whispered. In a hushed voice, Jean replied, "I know, dear. That's why I poisoned you."
1. A woman was making out with her lover when she heard her husband return. "Quick! Into the corner and don't move!" The woman slathered her lover with baby oil and pasted thick plaster powder over him. "Stand there and pretend you're a statue," she whispered.
When her husband walked in, he put down his bags and asked what the "thing" was. "Oh, just a statue. The Adams have one and I thought it was quite pretty. So I got one for us to." The man left the matter as that.
That night, when the wife was fast asleep, the man woke up at 2 am and made a sandwich and took a glass of milk to the statue and told him, "There. Have something to eat and drink. Don't be like me. I was starving for three days when I was made to act like one at the Adams."
2. A man and his wife were both having affairs and so they were often not spending their nights together. One night, both were home and felt apologetic for their actions. After a bout of passionate making out, they both went to bed. At 2 am, the wife suddenly sat up in bed and shouted in her sleep, "Quick, out of the window! My husband's back!" Upon hearing this, the husband immediately grabbed his clothes and jumped out of the window.
3. In a backward seaside village, the male villagers often had to go out to sea to fish and were rarely at home. The female villagers were mostly having affairs with the men who were not back. After each tryst, they would go to the village pastor to confess to their sins and ask for forgiveness. After hearing the word "affair" for umpteen times, the pastor decided to Bowdlerize their sessions by having the women use the term "fall down" instead. So the confessions were less lurid.
After many years, the old pastor retired and handed over his duties to a newcomer. Before he left, he asked the village headman to convey the meaning of "fall down" to the new pastor. Unfortunately, the headman forgot.
One fine day, the pastor approached the headman and asked that a new road be built. He explained that apparently, many women had "fallen down". The headman started laughing when he realised his omission. Just then, the pastor asked rather agitatedly, "What's so funny, Headman? Don't you know your wife has "fallen down" three times last week?"
4. Rick died and was due to be cremated. When his body was checked, the undertaker found that he had the longest dick he had ever seen and decided to keep the organ for posterity. Mouthing his apologies to the already dead Rick, the undertaker explained that the tool should be kept so that Rick's descendants had something to remember him for.
That night, Rick went home and carefully unwrapped his precious cargo, telling his wife that she would be seeing something she would not have seen in her entire life. When the package was opened, the wife gasped, "Oh my god! Is Rick dead already?"
5. After trying many many times to get a son after having two daughters, a couple finally succeeded in getting one. It was a long process and when the child was born, the man was flabbergasted. "Wife," he said, "that is the ugliest baby boy I've seen. Are you sure you didn't have him with another man?" The wife looked lovingly at him and replied sweetly, "Not this time, dear. This one is really with you."
6. On his death bed, Jack looked at Jean as he tried to speak with her. "My dear Jean...," Jack began. "You're tired. Go to sleep." Jean replied. "No, I don't have much time any more. I need to confess some things to you." Jack struggled. "You don't have to. You're tired. Have some rest." Jean comforted him. "No, I really need to do it. I want to die peacefully. Jean, I've slept with your sister, your best friend and your friends." Jack whispered. In a hushed voice, Jean replied, "I know, dear. That's why I poisoned you."
Friday, January 02, 2009
New Year Resolution 2009
See how smart I am? People simply can't keep resolutions. I'll just make one resolution which whether I keep it or not, I'm still successful.
My resolution: Not to have a resolution.
Why resolve to do something and then forget it?
Honestly speaking, why must it be the new year that a resolution can be made? If so, then all marriages should only take place on New Year's Day or else there isn't a resolution to stay married. Now, do you understand why people marry and divorce? There is really no link to why the bride wears white and the groom wears black. It has got to do with the day couple are married. They are married on non-resolute days. So they stray.
Death should only occur on New Year's Day for the same reason. Otherwise, the dead can't stay dead. And Miss Ghost Whisperer will be in business. And do you remember how much she used to hate her gift? Poor her. In the recent series, her handsome paramedic husband is dead. Then he comes back to life when his soul takes over a dead motorist's body. I shouldn't tell you too much or you will resolve never to visit my blog again. That, I know, is not good for me.
Giving away babies should only be done on New Year's Day. In this way, the resolve of giving up the child will ensure that neither the mother will renege on her decision nor the child will return to acknowledge the birth parent(s). If this were done, Dr Cuddy in House would have gotten her child from the coke junkie (who reminds me of an ex-colleague) and the poor Chinese girl would not have gone back to China to try and locate her parents, only to find that when they tried to get rid of her in 1983 due to China's one-child policy, they shoved needles into her head. The pins were embedded in her brains and one of them pressed against her addiction centre, turning her alcoholic. Ok, I shan't tell you more. Or House won't be as exciting. I just wonder if Singapore will allow the episode where Thirteen was kissing a girl at the start and another girl at the end.
Did I say to much? I have nothing more to say to you... But all you have to do is to know that every word is true.
Did I hear someone ask me what are the advantages of my new year resolution?
My resolution: Not to have a resolution.
Why resolve to do something and then forget it?
Honestly speaking, why must it be the new year that a resolution can be made? If so, then all marriages should only take place on New Year's Day or else there isn't a resolution to stay married. Now, do you understand why people marry and divorce? There is really no link to why the bride wears white and the groom wears black. It has got to do with the day couple are married. They are married on non-resolute days. So they stray.
Death should only occur on New Year's Day for the same reason. Otherwise, the dead can't stay dead. And Miss Ghost Whisperer will be in business. And do you remember how much she used to hate her gift? Poor her. In the recent series, her handsome paramedic husband is dead. Then he comes back to life when his soul takes over a dead motorist's body. I shouldn't tell you too much or you will resolve never to visit my blog again. That, I know, is not good for me.
Giving away babies should only be done on New Year's Day. In this way, the resolve of giving up the child will ensure that neither the mother will renege on her decision nor the child will return to acknowledge the birth parent(s). If this were done, Dr Cuddy in House would have gotten her child from the coke junkie (who reminds me of an ex-colleague) and the poor Chinese girl would not have gone back to China to try and locate her parents, only to find that when they tried to get rid of her in 1983 due to China's one-child policy, they shoved needles into her head. The pins were embedded in her brains and one of them pressed against her addiction centre, turning her alcoholic. Ok, I shan't tell you more. Or House won't be as exciting. I just wonder if Singapore will allow the episode where Thirteen was kissing a girl at the start and another girl at the end.
Did I say to much? I have nothing more to say to you... But all you have to do is to know that every word is true.
Did I hear someone ask me what are the advantages of my new year resolution?
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Looking back 2008
A limited view from my desk.
I quit my job to give me back more of my time and to pursue interests of mine so that I can make myself happy.
A financial orgy occured, leading to all players lying in cesspools. Subprime from the US screwed the financial sector, the financial sector screwed the national economy, the world economy screwed the world.
Politically, countries looked forward to change. Malaysia denied its ruling coalition, Barisan National, its super-majority. The empty promises from Anwar had given the opposition much to mull over. Until now, the Brain has not been able to take over the reins to rule Malaysia. And the Pinkys are not dumbos. Let's watch. The Thais changed prime minister 3 times in a year. Protesters even copped a world first - taking over the Thai Suvarnabhumi Airport, crippling air traffic for a week. US voted in a Black president.
Terror-wise, the Mumbai Massacre saw Singapore lose a female lawyer in the melee. Singapore lost Mas Selamat, a head honcho with the Jemaah Islamiah, a terrorist group in South East Asia. Elsewhere, Sri Lanka and the LTTE fought to no end.
Food prices have become really expensive these days. I no longer find eating pleasurable when I have to spend so much to find pleasure. Cooking, though, is more fun and relaxing. So long as one disregards the money spent for the ingredients and the efforts required to do the pre- and post-cooking washing up.
Oil prices yoyoed and within this year, the difference between the highs and lows is more than USD 100. And we now seem to have conclusive evidence that my fats can be used as lipodiesel. Be kind to a living fuel source!
The Olympics showed the world why it could not be saved quickly when it entered recession - China squandered all the money doing the unnecessary during the Olympics. There! There are bad expenses and there are bad expenses.
Travelling has taken a back seat this year. I need to travel more and see new places.
Most importantly, I need to get rid of this pesky flu that has bugged me since the beginning of the month. I want to start 2009 on a right note.
Actually, what's there to really to look back for 2008? I really do not know. It is but a year in my life and I am not even sure if it had been the most productive of years. Still, it represents 527 040 minutes of my life. For that, I must say life has treated me well.
I quit my job to give me back more of my time and to pursue interests of mine so that I can make myself happy.
A financial orgy occured, leading to all players lying in cesspools. Subprime from the US screwed the financial sector, the financial sector screwed the national economy, the world economy screwed the world.
Politically, countries looked forward to change. Malaysia denied its ruling coalition, Barisan National, its super-majority. The empty promises from Anwar had given the opposition much to mull over. Until now, the Brain has not been able to take over the reins to rule Malaysia. And the Pinkys are not dumbos. Let's watch. The Thais changed prime minister 3 times in a year. Protesters even copped a world first - taking over the Thai Suvarnabhumi Airport, crippling air traffic for a week. US voted in a Black president.
Terror-wise, the Mumbai Massacre saw Singapore lose a female lawyer in the melee. Singapore lost Mas Selamat, a head honcho with the Jemaah Islamiah, a terrorist group in South East Asia. Elsewhere, Sri Lanka and the LTTE fought to no end.
Food prices have become really expensive these days. I no longer find eating pleasurable when I have to spend so much to find pleasure. Cooking, though, is more fun and relaxing. So long as one disregards the money spent for the ingredients and the efforts required to do the pre- and post-cooking washing up.
Oil prices yoyoed and within this year, the difference between the highs and lows is more than USD 100. And we now seem to have conclusive evidence that my fats can be used as lipodiesel. Be kind to a living fuel source!
The Olympics showed the world why it could not be saved quickly when it entered recession - China squandered all the money doing the unnecessary during the Olympics. There! There are bad expenses and there are bad expenses.
Travelling has taken a back seat this year. I need to travel more and see new places.
Most importantly, I need to get rid of this pesky flu that has bugged me since the beginning of the month. I want to start 2009 on a right note.
Actually, what's there to really to look back for 2008? I really do not know. It is but a year in my life and I am not even sure if it had been the most productive of years. Still, it represents 527 040 minutes of my life. For that, I must say life has treated me well.
Friday, December 26, 2008
The perfect solution to the energy crunch
A leading Beverly Hills plastic surgeon claims to have found an environmentally friendly way to combine two of America's great obsessions – after converting his 4x4 to run on fat removed from clients during liposuction operations. More...
My claim that I'm a living oil field is now justified. This news is possibly the best piece of news for all weight-watchers.
What better way to live than to eat all you want and let the body do what it wants. All we need now is a valve to pump out the fats we don't want and then decompose it into bio-diesel to fuel our cars. Or whatever power generators that can run on diesel.
You get to enjoy your food and not let the moment on the lips stay a life time on the hips.
My claim that I'm a living oil field is now justified. This news is possibly the best piece of news for all weight-watchers.
What better way to live than to eat all you want and let the body do what it wants. All we need now is a valve to pump out the fats we don't want and then decompose it into bio-diesel to fuel our cars. Or whatever power generators that can run on diesel.
You get to enjoy your food and not let the moment on the lips stay a life time on the hips.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
You Spin Me Round
Ferris wheel size queens of the world should take note - when the Singapore Flyer stopped spinning, everything else started spinning.
People trapped in the world's largest flyer (on borrowed time) started feeling so hungry they had to eat a lot of pizzas "roped" in by the staff, some had to pee in plastic bags shielded by their family (funny, the capsules are all glass), one's head spun so bad and another puked and both landed in the hospital.
And a Russian tourist, the poor man, missed his flight home to spend a cold and dreary Christmas at home. Instead, he got to spend it on the sunny, balmy shores of Singapore. I wonder who's paying for it.
The Singapore Civil Defence Force had to be roped in to supplement efforts of the designated recovery firm. Hey, that makes me go right round round round because taxpayers money like mine are used to save people have a spin on the wheel when I have not even stepped foot in it!
And Singapore once again gained international infamy when newspapers from Australia to UK to Canada to China to Malaysia (hey, that is AROUND the world, if your geography sucks) reported the unfortunate event.
Even more interesting - the wheel is powered by 6 "rotary" units and can turn as long as 3 are working. This is what Singapore Flyer describes a 100% redundancy. Technical guys love such nonsense speak. But an electrical fire wiped out power to all 6 units. Is the fire at a 100% redundancy too?
Like many things in life, I wish 100% redundancy is so easy to achieve. Like when I lose a kilo of weight, the 100% redundancy rule wipes out 2 kilo when I stand on the weighing machine. When I gain a kilo, it shows up 500g of increase (100% redundancy, in case I really didn't gain a kilo.) Maybe Bernard Madoff also reported a 100% redundancy. He really lost USD 100 billion.
But I digress. As usual. If there is a disaster to be mocked, I must mock it with 100% redundancy. Nothing less. So, I wonder why our commandos were not called in. With their 'elicopters and rappelling skills, they should be able to save the trapped folks. Oh, they are the 100% redundancy that cannot be activated until people start dying in the capsule, I guess.
Of course, the greatest mockery of it all - the SCDF's ladders from their fire engines could reach up to capsules of only a certain height. And for good redundancy. The capsules were EMPTY! And the next capsule up (apparently, the third one up) cannot be reached.
With all these redundancy speak, it's no surprise that my head is spinning round round like a record baby right round round round....
People trapped in the world's largest flyer (on borrowed time) started feeling so hungry they had to eat a lot of pizzas "roped" in by the staff, some had to pee in plastic bags shielded by their family (funny, the capsules are all glass), one's head spun so bad and another puked and both landed in the hospital.
And a Russian tourist, the poor man, missed his flight home to spend a cold and dreary Christmas at home. Instead, he got to spend it on the sunny, balmy shores of Singapore. I wonder who's paying for it.
The Singapore Civil Defence Force had to be roped in to supplement efforts of the designated recovery firm. Hey, that makes me go right round round round because taxpayers money like mine are used to save people have a spin on the wheel when I have not even stepped foot in it!
And Singapore once again gained international infamy when newspapers from Australia to UK to Canada to China to Malaysia (hey, that is AROUND the world, if your geography sucks) reported the unfortunate event.
Even more interesting - the wheel is powered by 6 "rotary" units and can turn as long as 3 are working. This is what Singapore Flyer describes a 100% redundancy. Technical guys love such nonsense speak. But an electrical fire wiped out power to all 6 units. Is the fire at a 100% redundancy too?
Like many things in life, I wish 100% redundancy is so easy to achieve. Like when I lose a kilo of weight, the 100% redundancy rule wipes out 2 kilo when I stand on the weighing machine. When I gain a kilo, it shows up 500g of increase (100% redundancy, in case I really didn't gain a kilo.) Maybe Bernard Madoff also reported a 100% redundancy. He really lost USD 100 billion.
But I digress. As usual. If there is a disaster to be mocked, I must mock it with 100% redundancy. Nothing less. So, I wonder why our commandos were not called in. With their 'elicopters and rappelling skills, they should be able to save the trapped folks. Oh, they are the 100% redundancy that cannot be activated until people start dying in the capsule, I guess.
Of course, the greatest mockery of it all - the SCDF's ladders from their fire engines could reach up to capsules of only a certain height. And for good redundancy. The capsules were EMPTY! And the next capsule up (apparently, the third one up) cannot be reached.
With all these redundancy speak, it's no surprise that my head is spinning round round like a record baby right round round round....
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Darwin Award Contender
Japanese man dies after retirement party hijinks
A 60-year-old man who was thrown into the air in celebration at his retirement party died after his colleagues failed to catch him and he fell to the floor, a Japanese newspaper reported on Tuesday. Read more...
My first reaction: I'd say it's time to go after the widow. I'm sure he left a good fortune behind.
On hindsight, was he really that unpopular? I mean, why would anyone toss someone in the air and then not want to catch the person? It's not like the one in the air is wearing conical bra a la Madonna.
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