10 Things I Wish I Could Do

A little deja vu. Bear with me. Feeling a little Happy Tree Friend-ish today.

1. Spit gum on a woman's long tresses because she played with her hair and invaded my space by tossing out of her hair whatever she wanted remove.

2. Knock down pedestrains who insist on taking their own sweet time jaywalking right in front of my car when they should be using a designated crossing.

3. Kick away like a football...

4. Mow down with my shopping trolley...

5. Drop my bowl of piping hot soup on...

...unattended children who are allowed to run mindlessly into my path, giving me almost no reaction time.

6. Slap that bawling child and the parent - one for not knowing manners and the other for not teaching. Especially if the child was merely bawling to shame the parent or for attracting attention of the passers-by.

7. Pushing the idiot who would not walk to the side of the stairs leading up or down an overhead bridge crossing, especially when my bus is nearly arriving on at the bus stop at the other side of the crossing. (The hand railings are on the sides, so by walking in the centre, the idiot is blocking the entire stairway which is wide enough for two-way human traffic.) A more general version of this wish is to push anyone who occupies more than one "lane" for no good reason when walking.

8. Lock smokers in a fully enclosed room and force them to inhale all the smoke they exhale as well that produced by their cigarette until the air is clear again before letting them out. Fresh air will be provided to ensure that the smokers die of cigarette-related causes and not asphyxiation.

On a related note, I shall not belabour my point about the filterless cigarettes although I have a new idea where legislation should be made such that each cigarette is to be consumed within one inhalation. If a stronger fix is needed, smokers can take a second or a third fag. However, I still insist that the fumes must dissolve within the smokers' bodies and there should be no second-hand smoke.

Amazingly, I feel better already. So the 10 second rule to curb the temper does not really help but verbalising evil thoughts of genocide or gene pool refinements do!