CLEARLY: I don't want to write down all the "in-between" steps.
TRIVIAL: If I have to show you how to do this, you're in the wrong class.
OBVIOUSLY: I hope you weren't sleeping when we discussed this earlier, because I refuse to repeat it.
RECALL: I shouldn't have to tell you this, but for those of you who erase your memory tapes after every test...
WLOG (Without Loss Of Generality): I'm not about to do all the possible cases, so I'll do one and let you figure out the rest.
IT CAN EASILY BE SHOWN: Even you, in your finite wisdom, should be able to prove this without me holding your hand.
CHECK or CHECK FOR YOURSELF: This is the boring part of the proof, so you can do it on your own time.
SKETCH OF A PROOF: I couldn't verify all the details, so I'll break it down into the parts I couldn't prove.
HINT: The hardest of several possible ways to do a proof.
BRUTE FORCE (AND IGNORANCE): Four special cases, three counting arguments, two long inductions, "and a partridge in e."
SOFT PROOF: One third less filling (of the page) than your regular proof, but it requires two extra years of course work just to the terms.
ELEGANT PROOF: Requires no previous knowledge of the subject matter and is less than ten lines long.
SIMILARLY: At least one line of the proof of this case is the same as before.
BY A PREVIOUS THEOREM: I don't remember how it goes (come to think of it I'm not really sure we did this at all), but if I'm right, then the rest of this follows.
TWO LINE PROOF: I'll leave out everything but the conclusion, you can't question 'em if you can't see 'em.
BRIEFLY: I'm running out of time, so I'll just write and talk faster.
LET'S TALK THROUGH IT: I don't want to write it on the board lest I make a mistake.
PROCEED FORMALLY: Manipulate symbols by the rules without any hint of their true meaning (popular in pure math).
PROOF OMITTED: Trust me, It's true.
Friday, August 29, 2008
What I don't know about Karma
Probligo and I had had a wonderful conversation about my problem-child status. We came to the conclusion that neither of us were Smarties.
A Programmer and an Engineer were sitting next to each other on an
airplane. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he wants
to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to sleep so he politely
declines, turns away and tries to sleep. The Programmer persists and
explains that it's a real easy game. He explains,"I ask a question and
if you don't know the answer you pay me $5. Then you ask a question and
if I don't know the answer I'll pay you $5." Again the Engineer politely
declines and tries to sleep.
The Programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, "O.K., if you don't
know the answer you pay me $5 and if I don't know the answer I pay
you $50!" Now, that got the Engineer's attention, so he agrees to the
game. The Programmer asks the first question, "What's the distance from
the earth to the moon?" Then Engineer doesn't say a word and just hands
the Programmer $5.
Now, its the Engineer's turn. He asks the Programmer,"What goes up a
hill with three legs and comes down on four?" The Programmer looks at
him with a puzzled look, takes out his laptop computer, looks through
all his references and after about an hour wakes the Engineer and hands
the Engineer $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 turns away and
tries to return to sleep.
The Programmer, a little miffed, asks, "Well what's the answer to the
question?" Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands
$5 to the Programmer, turns away and returns to sleep.
Yeah, we both don't know. But I can guess he's probably a programmer or an engineer while I'm just the manager pushing the buttons. Heh!
So, the new Fermat's (Last + 1) Conjecture is now: What next to seek so that Enlightenment is possible.
The issue of karma was probably obliquely mentioned somehow but I am sure if it did, we did not give it a good airing.
So, my question will be: Who is in charge of calculating Karma? I don't know if this is rhetorical. But there is a belief that if you kill a cockroach (for example) so that by ending its life, you could help it get reborn into a higher realm of existence, apparently, it won't happen. Part of the explanation is that the cockroach is so used to its existence that it could not adjust its mindset fast enough to allow it to move out of that realm of existence.
I want to know if there is another way out of rebirth other than Enlightenment and finally Nirvana.
A Programmer and an Engineer were sitting next to each other on an
airplane. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he wants
to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to sleep so he politely
declines, turns away and tries to sleep. The Programmer persists and
explains that it's a real easy game. He explains,"I ask a question and
if you don't know the answer you pay me $5. Then you ask a question and
if I don't know the answer I'll pay you $5." Again the Engineer politely
declines and tries to sleep.
The Programmer, now somewhat agitated, says, "O.K., if you don't
know the answer you pay me $5 and if I don't know the answer I pay
you $50!" Now, that got the Engineer's attention, so he agrees to the
game. The Programmer asks the first question, "What's the distance from
the earth to the moon?" Then Engineer doesn't say a word and just hands
the Programmer $5.
Now, its the Engineer's turn. He asks the Programmer,"What goes up a
hill with three legs and comes down on four?" The Programmer looks at
him with a puzzled look, takes out his laptop computer, looks through
all his references and after about an hour wakes the Engineer and hands
the Engineer $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 turns away and
tries to return to sleep.
The Programmer, a little miffed, asks, "Well what's the answer to the
question?" Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands
$5 to the Programmer, turns away and returns to sleep.
Yeah, we both don't know. But I can guess he's probably a programmer or an engineer while I'm just the manager pushing the buttons. Heh!
So, the new Fermat's (Last + 1) Conjecture is now: What next to seek so that Enlightenment is possible.
The issue of karma was probably obliquely mentioned somehow but I am sure if it did, we did not give it a good airing.
So, my question will be: Who is in charge of calculating Karma? I don't know if this is rhetorical. But there is a belief that if you kill a cockroach (for example) so that by ending its life, you could help it get reborn into a higher realm of existence, apparently, it won't happen. Part of the explanation is that the cockroach is so used to its existence that it could not adjust its mindset fast enough to allow it to move out of that realm of existence.
I want to know if there is another way out of rebirth other than Enlightenment and finally Nirvana.
Movies in my mind
I've been getting odd dreams. I don't usually dream much. I rarely dream, if you ask me.
But I've been getting very realistic dreams. They are not nightmares. They are just that - movies in my mind.
I can't remember what I had dreamt of but I know that I had had dreams and they were very vivid, very well scripted and interesting.
I also know I am terribly tired.
But I've been getting very realistic dreams. They are not nightmares. They are just that - movies in my mind.
I can't remember what I had dreamt of but I know that I had had dreams and they were very vivid, very well scripted and interesting.
I also know I am terribly tired.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Gin and chthonic
I did a double take when I saw the dictionary.com word of the day entry for today.
chthonic - dwelling in or under the earth; also, pertaining to the underworld.
OMFG!
The word has Greek origins, where khthón, the Greek word for earth.
Sigh...
When will I ever be ready for the GRE?!
chthonic - dwelling in or under the earth; also, pertaining to the underworld.
OMFG!
The word has Greek origins, where khthón, the Greek word for earth.
Sigh...
When will I ever be ready for the GRE?!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Information Overload
It rarely happens to me but there is now one.
I'm facing a rather serious case of information overload and I am so not going to deal with all the information at one go.
They'll be triaged and those that have a deadline gets treated first.
Now, take a number, sit down and groan. When you go soft and slump over, I'll attend to you.
So now you know why medics in the field often ignore those who make a lot of noise? Because you hell have a lot of energy to make those noise and you probably are not as badly injured as those whose life is part of the blood spurting out of their wounds. Wow! Graphic. I like...
I'm facing a rather serious case of information overload and I am so not going to deal with all the information at one go.
They'll be triaged and those that have a deadline gets treated first.
Now, take a number, sit down and groan. When you go soft and slump over, I'll attend to you.
So now you know why medics in the field often ignore those who make a lot of noise? Because you hell have a lot of energy to make those noise and you probably are not as badly injured as those whose life is part of the blood spurting out of their wounds. Wow! Graphic. I like...
DC Cowboys
I had to share this. This was what I found from a blogsite of a new friend, Walt, whom I met because of karma.
Watch this - DC Cowboys = Brokeback meets Broadway. Fun!
Watch this - DC Cowboys = Brokeback meets Broadway. Fun!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The Pretty Lady
Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river. The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. 'How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?' thought the little monk. But he kept quiet. The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her.
All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'
This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous .. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away.We keep on carrying the baggage of the 'pretty lady' with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the 'pretty lady'. We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river, that is after the unpleasant event is over. This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.
Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'
This very old Chinese Zen story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous .. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away.We keep on carrying the baggage of the 'pretty lady' with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the 'pretty lady'. We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river, that is after the unpleasant event is over. This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.
Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.
The Frogs
A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, 'There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs - millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!' So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.
The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, 'Well... where are all the frogs?' The farmer said, 'I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!'
Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.
The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, 'Well... where are all the frogs?' The farmer said, 'I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!'
Next time you hear somebody criticizing or making fun of you, remember, it's probably just a couple of noisy frogs. Also remember that problems always seem bigger in the dark. Have you ever laid in your bed at night worrying about things which seem almost overwhelming like a million frogs croaking? Chances are pretty good that when the morning comes, and you take a closer look, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.
The Turtles
A turtle family decided to go on a picnic. The turtles, being naturally slow about things, took seven years to prepare for their outing. Finally the turtle family left home looking for a suitable place. During the second year of their journey they found a place ideal for them at last!
For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.
Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'
Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.
For about six months they cleaned the area, unpacked the picnic basket, and completed the arrangements. Then they discovered they had forgotten the salt. A picnic without salt would be a disaster, they all agreed. After a lengthy discussion, the youngest turtle was chosen to retrieve the salt from home. Although he was the fastest of the slow moving turtles, the little turtle whined, cried, and wobbled in his shell. He agreed to go on one condition: that no one would eat until he returned. The family consented and the little turtle left.
Three years passed and the little turtle had not returned. Five years...six years... then on the seventh year of his absence, the oldest turtle could no longer contain his hunger. He announced that he was going to eat and begun to unwrap a sandwich. At that point the little turtle suddenly popped out from behind a tree shouting, 'See! I knew you wouldn't wait. Now I am not going to go get the salt.'
Some of us waste our time waiting for people to live up to our expectations. We are so concerned about what others are doing that we don't do anything ourselves.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Living Rich
Incredible, it must be, to be really rich.
Someone I know of bought a camera for $2 700+ in May and then resold it for $1 700 today. Without batting an eyelid.
How filthy rich is that?
Someone I know of bought a camera for $2 700+ in May and then resold it for $1 700 today. Without batting an eyelid.
How filthy rich is that?
The New iPhone
The iPhone advertisement in Singapore made many claims, that almost everything on the iPhone is very fast.
The advertising folks forgot to tell the users that the iPhone will also help you work up a bill with your phone companies VERY FAST!
The advertising folks forgot to tell the users that the iPhone will also help you work up a bill with your phone companies VERY FAST!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Mad Housing
School term started this week at the university where I am teaching. It's been a mad house so far as I struggle to straighten out my admin and lessons. It feels worse when I am an instructor compared to when I was a student.
This blog will have to wait.
PS. Probligo, I would like to continue our discussion, if you would be interested to.
This blog will have to wait.
PS. Probligo, I would like to continue our discussion, if you would be interested to.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
In Response to Probligo
I have written the entry on "What I Still Don't Know" because I had thought about things that could be premature to be discussed. But that does not mean that the seed could not be planted in people's minds and allowed to germinate.
I recall how Siddharta sought out many teachers and tried many forms of cultivation, including asceticism, before he managed to ward off Mara the temptress and attain Nirvana.
He sought to free himself and all sentient beings from suffering the whole time he cultivated himself. When he was cultivating himself under different teachers, he was not taught to not crave, not cling, not desire. But he had realised that life was suffering but he was not sure why. That was why he left home and started practicing the way which he hoped would end suffering.
It was after a long time of cultivating himself and finally discovering the power of meditation in helping him focus on the true problems that plague all living things. During his meditation sessions, he also recalled his previous lives and much more, before coming to the realisation that life's sufferings are caused by greed, craving and clinging. Prior to that, Mara the temptress came and tempted him big time to end his search for Enlightenment.
I ask what is the next big thing that the coming Buddha, Bohdisattva Matreiya needed to "discover" so that he would be able to take the final step towards Buddha-hood.
Religion cannot be forever stuck in some backwaters. A progressive religion that desires to stay the course needs to cater to the needs of the people. A religion that stops moving with the times will fall apart.
Human needs are innate and irrational. And in times of spiritual ruins, a saint or a prophet or a buddha usually comes to help the people out: Moses received the 10 Commandments and went on to achieve great things. Prophet Mohammed brought Islam to the people. Of course, I don't know how people treat Moses - is he a saint?
Buddhists had different Buddhas come and probably left teachings behind. Our scriptures bear testimony to this fact. The last Buddha left the lessons on clinging and greed. We know the lessons. Whether we can cultivate our faculties to overcome such inner demons remain insurmountable challenges for many of us.
But clinging and greed are not the most debilitating of ills that people are facing now. True, clinging and greed do undergird many of these ills but there must be some new lessons that need to be learnt.
For instance, letting go. Or having the magnanimity and graciousness not to take offense over every single thing. But these are lessons already made known. Our parents always told us to let our younger siblings "win" or have their ways, regardless. Isn't that obvious to all?
I don't claim to be religiously smart. So you may be right - I may have walked past the next cause for Nirvana and not realise it. But what I lament is the fact that I have not cultivated my mental acuity to know that I have let something precious slip by me, if it had.
Yet weirdly, if I go after spiritual awakening, it could be about greed; deep down, it's a part of "greed" to want to be more "sensitive" than the common man. This is not righteous. At least not in my opinion.
If you have read my posts, I told you about my experience in Sri Lanka, before the tsunami. If I had been able to warn people accurately about all these things, I might have done some good. But then, I might also be regarded as obstructing god's wrath and stopping people from getting their condign judgement and punishment. Or I could just be treated as a fortune teller, and nothing more.
I have to admit I honestly do not know. What is the next thing that we should awaken in our pursuits to become freed from the cycle of life and death?
Christians believe in no after life. I am not here to say whether this is right or wrong. People are free to choose and believe in their religions. But don't force one's beliefs down another's throat. I'd say if all who believed in the Christian God went to heaven, heaven is going to be really packed by now. But that's a thought. And, if not for the sake of illustration, I would have let it remain a thought.
I have had Christian friends whose sole purpose in life is to politely run down other religions and claim that all other religions arose from Christianity. I do not go into any discussions on such things. These people even attempt to rationalise things like why the Chinese word for murderer and brother sounded identical to claim that China used to be a Christian state. I listen politely, even if I disagree, and seek the first available instance to end the conversation. Such discussions do not interest me.
What good does it make for us to regressively trace things just to prove superiority? I am more interested to see how things will develop as we move in the new direction. Moreover, I do not preach my religion - my only claim is that my religion is one of choice and lifestyle. I am a lip-service Buddhist, if you force me to label myself.
Marketing a religion is an interesting concept but unless that brings about a new level of awareness and discovery about the true meaning of life, the product is hard to sell. The sellers would end up merely going through the motions.
So, to say what I think I thought but am sure I really don't know, I somehow feel that the loss of a soul, some kind of identity, could be the next big thing. Something different from the id, ego or superego. Different from the idea of self, of I, me, my and mine. I can't place a finger on it but I would like to propose that it is more like the idea of the incarnation of the pure-self.
When we are conceived, we are probably the purest at that moment. Those cells were probably not programmed or intended to strap bombs to thenselves and detonate them to kill others. It is the development of a consciousness that we become who we are. Could it then be the control of the consciousness so that we are able to return to the state of the pure-self?
I really don't know.(I really dislike these four words, because one of my tutors did it to me when I asked her a question. She took out her handkerchief, spread it open, buried her face in it, looked up at me, took a deep breath and said, "I really don't know, Eugene." And then I got scolded after class for asking that Aussie Grandma "difficult Grammar questions".) This is the first time I actually put pen to paper my thoughts of such a topic. I don't even know if I make sense. But I certainly know there is a long path ahead if I ever want to escape from the cycle of birth and death.
I haven't read Monkey. I'll probably try and make a bid to read it. Since you've got me to this point, Probligo, feel free to add your points of view. We might have different ideas and we can agree to disagree.
I recall how Siddharta sought out many teachers and tried many forms of cultivation, including asceticism, before he managed to ward off Mara the temptress and attain Nirvana.
He sought to free himself and all sentient beings from suffering the whole time he cultivated himself. When he was cultivating himself under different teachers, he was not taught to not crave, not cling, not desire. But he had realised that life was suffering but he was not sure why. That was why he left home and started practicing the way which he hoped would end suffering.
It was after a long time of cultivating himself and finally discovering the power of meditation in helping him focus on the true problems that plague all living things. During his meditation sessions, he also recalled his previous lives and much more, before coming to the realisation that life's sufferings are caused by greed, craving and clinging. Prior to that, Mara the temptress came and tempted him big time to end his search for Enlightenment.
I ask what is the next big thing that the coming Buddha, Bohdisattva Matreiya needed to "discover" so that he would be able to take the final step towards Buddha-hood.
Religion cannot be forever stuck in some backwaters. A progressive religion that desires to stay the course needs to cater to the needs of the people. A religion that stops moving with the times will fall apart.
Human needs are innate and irrational. And in times of spiritual ruins, a saint or a prophet or a buddha usually comes to help the people out: Moses received the 10 Commandments and went on to achieve great things. Prophet Mohammed brought Islam to the people. Of course, I don't know how people treat Moses - is he a saint?
Buddhists had different Buddhas come and probably left teachings behind. Our scriptures bear testimony to this fact. The last Buddha left the lessons on clinging and greed. We know the lessons. Whether we can cultivate our faculties to overcome such inner demons remain insurmountable challenges for many of us.
But clinging and greed are not the most debilitating of ills that people are facing now. True, clinging and greed do undergird many of these ills but there must be some new lessons that need to be learnt.
For instance, letting go. Or having the magnanimity and graciousness not to take offense over every single thing. But these are lessons already made known. Our parents always told us to let our younger siblings "win" or have their ways, regardless. Isn't that obvious to all?
I don't claim to be religiously smart. So you may be right - I may have walked past the next cause for Nirvana and not realise it. But what I lament is the fact that I have not cultivated my mental acuity to know that I have let something precious slip by me, if it had.
Yet weirdly, if I go after spiritual awakening, it could be about greed; deep down, it's a part of "greed" to want to be more "sensitive" than the common man. This is not righteous. At least not in my opinion.
If you have read my posts, I told you about my experience in Sri Lanka, before the tsunami. If I had been able to warn people accurately about all these things, I might have done some good. But then, I might also be regarded as obstructing god's wrath and stopping people from getting their condign judgement and punishment. Or I could just be treated as a fortune teller, and nothing more.
I have to admit I honestly do not know. What is the next thing that we should awaken in our pursuits to become freed from the cycle of life and death?
Christians believe in no after life. I am not here to say whether this is right or wrong. People are free to choose and believe in their religions. But don't force one's beliefs down another's throat. I'd say if all who believed in the Christian God went to heaven, heaven is going to be really packed by now. But that's a thought. And, if not for the sake of illustration, I would have let it remain a thought.
I have had Christian friends whose sole purpose in life is to politely run down other religions and claim that all other religions arose from Christianity. I do not go into any discussions on such things. These people even attempt to rationalise things like why the Chinese word for murderer and brother sounded identical to claim that China used to be a Christian state. I listen politely, even if I disagree, and seek the first available instance to end the conversation. Such discussions do not interest me.
What good does it make for us to regressively trace things just to prove superiority? I am more interested to see how things will develop as we move in the new direction. Moreover, I do not preach my religion - my only claim is that my religion is one of choice and lifestyle. I am a lip-service Buddhist, if you force me to label myself.
Marketing a religion is an interesting concept but unless that brings about a new level of awareness and discovery about the true meaning of life, the product is hard to sell. The sellers would end up merely going through the motions.
So, to say what I think I thought but am sure I really don't know, I somehow feel that the loss of a soul, some kind of identity, could be the next big thing. Something different from the id, ego or superego. Different from the idea of self, of I, me, my and mine. I can't place a finger on it but I would like to propose that it is more like the idea of the incarnation of the pure-self.
When we are conceived, we are probably the purest at that moment. Those cells were probably not programmed or intended to strap bombs to thenselves and detonate them to kill others. It is the development of a consciousness that we become who we are. Could it then be the control of the consciousness so that we are able to return to the state of the pure-self?
I really don't know.(I really dislike these four words, because one of my tutors did it to me when I asked her a question. She took out her handkerchief, spread it open, buried her face in it, looked up at me, took a deep breath and said, "I really don't know, Eugene." And then I got scolded after class for asking that Aussie Grandma "difficult Grammar questions".) This is the first time I actually put pen to paper my thoughts of such a topic. I don't even know if I make sense. But I certainly know there is a long path ahead if I ever want to escape from the cycle of birth and death.
I haven't read Monkey. I'll probably try and make a bid to read it. Since you've got me to this point, Probligo, feel free to add your points of view. We might have different ideas and we can agree to disagree.
Doing "Nothing"
Many people would consider reading as doing "nothing". After all, what's the big effort required in turning pages or flicking the wheel of the mouse down so that your eyes can feed the logos to your brains.
But while everyone thinks time slows down when "nothing" is done, I keep finding myself short of time doing my "nothing".
And I get terribly exhausted too.
But while everyone thinks time slows down when "nothing" is done, I keep finding myself short of time doing my "nothing".
And I get terribly exhausted too.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
SARS and the aftermath
Finally visited the Mandai Crematorium and Columbarium for the first time.
It has long replaced the Mount Vernon Crematorium but this is the first time I set foor into its very modern, albeit human-less facility.
All caskets are delivered into the burners by machines. Human interaction can be kept to the minimum.
This is all the result of SARS. The highly contagious disease needed drastic measures to counter. So Singapore had to have something to make sure that the dead do not continue to spread their germs.
It's sad that the bereaved ones now watch behind a glass wall as the coffin gets rolled down tracks on a pre-programmed mechanical arm which sends it right into the burner.
All people can do is really watch. Then file out and leave.
Hopefully the grieving at the wake and the closure at the crematorium will help restore the ones facing the loss. Perhaps it is indeed true that once out of sight, it could well be out of mind.
It has long replaced the Mount Vernon Crematorium but this is the first time I set foor into its very modern, albeit human-less facility.
All caskets are delivered into the burners by machines. Human interaction can be kept to the minimum.
This is all the result of SARS. The highly contagious disease needed drastic measures to counter. So Singapore had to have something to make sure that the dead do not continue to spread their germs.
It's sad that the bereaved ones now watch behind a glass wall as the coffin gets rolled down tracks on a pre-programmed mechanical arm which sends it right into the burner.
All people can do is really watch. Then file out and leave.
Hopefully the grieving at the wake and the closure at the crematorium will help restore the ones facing the loss. Perhaps it is indeed true that once out of sight, it could well be out of mind.
Funeral Drama
The eldest daughter wailed at the top of her lungs and her cries reverberated off the walls of the viewing gallery as the casket made its way into the incinerator. The second daughter, who had had to look after the old lady after dementia ate her better senses away for the past few years was less hysterical in comparison.
Even while the eldest was the wealthier among them, she had decided not to be involved in looking after the demented mother. She even said that her sister's act of taking their life giver into her care was akin to knocking her head against a brick wall.
Yet when the final scene came, even before the coffin made its appearance in the viewing gallery, she bawled her lungs out.
In stark comparison, the rest of the family of about 50 who made the journey to the crematorium were more sedate. They made no bones that the old lady was better off dead.
She gave them a quick one. Despite her decade long battle with dementia, she was able to move on her own. While she may forget to control her bowels now and then, she lived like she was normal. What was missing was her recent memories. But she did remember glimpses of me, especially when she, her second daughter, my grandmother and I went to Malaysia on a week long trip some 18 years ago. When she collapsed from a stroke on Monday morning, she died the same evening at 2025 hours. She did not regain consciousness or inconvenienced them in any way.
While the acting was convincing and some friends and lesser relatives were visibly moved to some tears, the minute I got on the bus to return to the place where the wake was held, the stories came forth.
It always pays to sit beside some perceptive aunt on the way back as she would be most forthcoming in sharing the stories. I'm usually the one they would tell the story to. I don't know why, but I guess I'm blessed this way. (I believe my involvement in these last rites does not go unnoticed. Compared to my other more aloof cousins, I must be the more lovable one. It also helps to be chubby and possibly cuddly, I think.)
The aunt opened her tirade with "The one who has done the least cried the loudest. People would therefore think she was the most aggrieved. But there are lies, half-truths and truths. The truth is, she has the least right to steal the limelight. The rest of them act their part in thinking that the old lady is better off dead."
Me, "I think she was feeling guilty?"
She, "I hope she is. If she still knows (what it means to be) guilty. She never wanted the mother or to care for her. So what right does she have to act this way? That's why when you are able to put up a show..."
The rest of the story is up there.
Even while the eldest was the wealthier among them, she had decided not to be involved in looking after the demented mother. She even said that her sister's act of taking their life giver into her care was akin to knocking her head against a brick wall.
Yet when the final scene came, even before the coffin made its appearance in the viewing gallery, she bawled her lungs out.
In stark comparison, the rest of the family of about 50 who made the journey to the crematorium were more sedate. They made no bones that the old lady was better off dead.
She gave them a quick one. Despite her decade long battle with dementia, she was able to move on her own. While she may forget to control her bowels now and then, she lived like she was normal. What was missing was her recent memories. But she did remember glimpses of me, especially when she, her second daughter, my grandmother and I went to Malaysia on a week long trip some 18 years ago. When she collapsed from a stroke on Monday morning, she died the same evening at 2025 hours. She did not regain consciousness or inconvenienced them in any way.
While the acting was convincing and some friends and lesser relatives were visibly moved to some tears, the minute I got on the bus to return to the place where the wake was held, the stories came forth.
It always pays to sit beside some perceptive aunt on the way back as she would be most forthcoming in sharing the stories. I'm usually the one they would tell the story to. I don't know why, but I guess I'm blessed this way. (I believe my involvement in these last rites does not go unnoticed. Compared to my other more aloof cousins, I must be the more lovable one. It also helps to be chubby and possibly cuddly, I think.)
The aunt opened her tirade with "The one who has done the least cried the loudest. People would therefore think she was the most aggrieved. But there are lies, half-truths and truths. The truth is, she has the least right to steal the limelight. The rest of them act their part in thinking that the old lady is better off dead."
Me, "I think she was feeling guilty?"
She, "I hope she is. If she still knows (what it means to be) guilty. She never wanted the mother or to care for her. So what right does she have to act this way? That's why when you are able to put up a show..."
The rest of the story is up there.
Funny Thoughts
I wonder if it will come a day when people die, get stuffed in a plastic bag and then tossed in the garbage and incinerated with the rubbish.
Simplicity and Complicity
Last night was the final night of the funeral wake of my second grand aunt (maternal side).
Final prayers were in full swing and in accordance to Taoist tradition, her entire family were involved.
Extended family members were excluded, or if you prefer, exempted, because the bereaved family was already very numerous. The human chain formed as part of the prayers to leading my grand aunt's soul to the "Gates of Hell" was long enough to require tables to be shifted out of the way so that the symbolic walking around can be performed.
As the family began their rites, it caught my attention that the whole clan has chosen to ditch all the funeral garb and peripherals. The men folk were dressed only in a white t-shirt and dark coloured pants while the women folk did not even have the basic head scarf! That's so underdressed. She was after all an 87-year old matriarch of the family. Isn't this too shabby?
My goodness! Such an act of filial impiety. Wow! I cannot imagine how they could do that.
Later, I heard that the leading Taoist priest performing the rites actually told the family that the eldest grandson is the oldest one. By tradition, and this is still held true, the eldest grandson is the oldest son of the eldest son! Goodness gracious. Is this guy for real?
And for the first time, I saw Carlsberg served at funeral wakes! Are they literally taking the concept of "clubbing" a little too far?
I am all for simplicity and moving with the times. But to veer off by so much, isn't that too disrespectful?
Final prayers were in full swing and in accordance to Taoist tradition, her entire family were involved.
Extended family members were excluded, or if you prefer, exempted, because the bereaved family was already very numerous. The human chain formed as part of the prayers to leading my grand aunt's soul to the "Gates of Hell" was long enough to require tables to be shifted out of the way so that the symbolic walking around can be performed.
As the family began their rites, it caught my attention that the whole clan has chosen to ditch all the funeral garb and peripherals. The men folk were dressed only in a white t-shirt and dark coloured pants while the women folk did not even have the basic head scarf! That's so underdressed. She was after all an 87-year old matriarch of the family. Isn't this too shabby?
My goodness! Such an act of filial impiety. Wow! I cannot imagine how they could do that.
Later, I heard that the leading Taoist priest performing the rites actually told the family that the eldest grandson is the oldest one. By tradition, and this is still held true, the eldest grandson is the oldest son of the eldest son! Goodness gracious. Is this guy for real?
And for the first time, I saw Carlsberg served at funeral wakes! Are they literally taking the concept of "clubbing" a little too far?
I am all for simplicity and moving with the times. But to veer off by so much, isn't that too disrespectful?
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
For the mathematically inclined
A group of students surveyed indicated they preferred Soccer, Badminton, Basketball and Tennis in the ratio of 2 : 7 : 12 : 4. The number of boys who chose Soccer is the same as the number of girls who chose Badminton. In addition, the ratio of the number of girls who chose Basketball to the number of girls who chose Tennis is 3 : 4. The number of girls who chose Soccer and Badminton make up 65% of the total number of girls.
Find the ratio of the total number of boys to the total number of girls in the group.
Find the ratio of the total number of boys to the total number of girls in the group.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
What I still don't know...
The last Buddha Gautama Siddharta gained Enlightment and then Supreme Nirvana after he realised that life is suffering and everything is caused by desire or clinging.
So, when one can give up all desires or clinging, then one is supposed to be freed from the cycle of life and death.
My point is this: The secret about desires and clinging and life is suffering is out.
What does the next Buddha have to realise before he too can gain Enlightenment and then Supreme Nirvana?
I mean, if Siddharta were taught the lesson early enough, he wouldn't have to spend so much time searching for the answer, right?
We now speak of the Buddhist precepts to no end. Surely, there must be something else that is of the essence next.
I wonder what that would be.
So, when one can give up all desires or clinging, then one is supposed to be freed from the cycle of life and death.
My point is this: The secret about desires and clinging and life is suffering is out.
What does the next Buddha have to realise before he too can gain Enlightenment and then Supreme Nirvana?
I mean, if Siddharta were taught the lesson early enough, he wouldn't have to spend so much time searching for the answer, right?
We now speak of the Buddhist precepts to no end. Surely, there must be something else that is of the essence next.
I wonder what that would be.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Obituary of the Pillsbury Doughboy
Dear Friends,
It is with the saddest heart I pass on the following:
Please join me in remembering a great icon -- the veteran Pillsbury spokesman.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours.
As longtime friend, Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.
He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he would rise again. But alas, he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
It is with the saddest heart I pass on the following:
Please join me in remembering a great icon -- the veteran Pillsbury spokesman.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours.
As longtime friend, Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.
He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end it was thought he would rise again. But alas, he was no tart.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
London Times Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense
'Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.'
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Elastoplast to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.'
New Dish to my Culinary Repetoire
I made Rendang Lamb Shank yesterday.
It was the first time I cooked something like that and even though the rendang paste (rendang is a dry red curry) is from a packet, I managed to whip out shank meat that give to the bite, melt in the mouth and entirely devoid of the musk (or whatever you call that smell) that comes with the goat. I wish I had a picture but alas, the mouths moved faster than the feet to the camera.
Here's the recipe, if you are intending to try:
2 lamb shanks (1 kg)
500 ml plain yogurt
100 ml whipped cream (or replace with 100 ml yogurt)
200 ml water
1 onion sliced
1 carrot diced
2 tomatoes diced
Butter and cooking oil
1 packet rendang paste (for 1.3 kg meat)
Generous dash of port (optional)
Salt/sugar to taste
Juice from 1 lemon (optinal)
Lots of love and patience
1. Make sure that lamb shanks are defrosted when you start.
2. Clean lamb shanks and puncture the muscles with a knife. Make sure you get deep holes in the flesh where you can easily slide your index finger in totally.
3. Marinate the lamb shank with 300 ml yogurt. Massage the yogurt all over the outside and the deep scores of the meat for an hour.
4. Heat in a deep pot butter and oil and fry onion till transparent or lightly browned. Your pot should be just big enough to fit the two shanks, or you'll have to add a lot more water and yogurt to cook them.
5. Remove the lamb from the yogurt and squeeze dry. Add to the pot and brown all the sides. When both shanks are seared and the pot base is getting burnt, add port, all the water, and 200 ml of yogurt. Make sure you stir the mixture till the yogurt and water are well mixed. The liquids should just about cover the shanks. There may be some bits sticking out but that is fine. You need to turn the meat anyway.
6. Simmer over medium low heat and let the liquids reduce. Make sure you stir occasionally to prevent the base from sticking and turn the shanks to ensure even cooking.
7. After about 40 minutes, add the rendang mixture and the whipped cream/yogurt and combine into the liquids.
8. Continue simmering until the liquids reduce to half the amount where you started and the meat is ready to fall off the bone if lightly tugged at. Use a fork, if you really want to see how sinewy it still is. Before you turn off the fire, add seasonings to taste. I love my food slightly tart as the acids help cut through the grease. So I added the juice of one lemon.
9. Cool, skim the excess oil from the top of the pot and serve with hot plain rice and any salad. Lassi is recommended if you need to cut the spiciness.
Serves 2 - 4 people, depending on their appetites.
The beauty of this dish is that it allows you to decide how dry you want your curry base and how soft you want the meat. If you want more curry base, add more yogurt/milk. Water is ok but it dilutes the gravy. If you want firmer meat, remove meat when you are ok with the texture and do whatever you want to the gravy before you put back the meat to warm before you serve.
Be warned though - if curry is your stuff, you may go through a padi field by the time the meal is over.
Anyway, my next dinner party guests could be in luck!
It was the first time I cooked something like that and even though the rendang paste (rendang is a dry red curry) is from a packet, I managed to whip out shank meat that give to the bite, melt in the mouth and entirely devoid of the musk (or whatever you call that smell) that comes with the goat. I wish I had a picture but alas, the mouths moved faster than the feet to the camera.
Here's the recipe, if you are intending to try:
2 lamb shanks (1 kg)
500 ml plain yogurt
100 ml whipped cream (or replace with 100 ml yogurt)
200 ml water
1 onion sliced
1 carrot diced
2 tomatoes diced
Butter and cooking oil
1 packet rendang paste (for 1.3 kg meat)
Generous dash of port (optional)
Salt/sugar to taste
Juice from 1 lemon (optinal)
Lots of love and patience
1. Make sure that lamb shanks are defrosted when you start.
2. Clean lamb shanks and puncture the muscles with a knife. Make sure you get deep holes in the flesh where you can easily slide your index finger in totally.
3. Marinate the lamb shank with 300 ml yogurt. Massage the yogurt all over the outside and the deep scores of the meat for an hour.
4. Heat in a deep pot butter and oil and fry onion till transparent or lightly browned. Your pot should be just big enough to fit the two shanks, or you'll have to add a lot more water and yogurt to cook them.
5. Remove the lamb from the yogurt and squeeze dry. Add to the pot and brown all the sides. When both shanks are seared and the pot base is getting burnt, add port, all the water, and 200 ml of yogurt. Make sure you stir the mixture till the yogurt and water are well mixed. The liquids should just about cover the shanks. There may be some bits sticking out but that is fine. You need to turn the meat anyway.
6. Simmer over medium low heat and let the liquids reduce. Make sure you stir occasionally to prevent the base from sticking and turn the shanks to ensure even cooking.
7. After about 40 minutes, add the rendang mixture and the whipped cream/yogurt and combine into the liquids.
8. Continue simmering until the liquids reduce to half the amount where you started and the meat is ready to fall off the bone if lightly tugged at. Use a fork, if you really want to see how sinewy it still is. Before you turn off the fire, add seasonings to taste. I love my food slightly tart as the acids help cut through the grease. So I added the juice of one lemon.
9. Cool, skim the excess oil from the top of the pot and serve with hot plain rice and any salad. Lassi is recommended if you need to cut the spiciness.
Serves 2 - 4 people, depending on their appetites.
The beauty of this dish is that it allows you to decide how dry you want your curry base and how soft you want the meat. If you want more curry base, add more yogurt/milk. Water is ok but it dilutes the gravy. If you want firmer meat, remove meat when you are ok with the texture and do whatever you want to the gravy before you put back the meat to warm before you serve.
Be warned though - if curry is your stuff, you may go through a padi field by the time the meal is over.
Anyway, my next dinner party guests could be in luck!
Friday, August 08, 2008
The Counterfeiters
I think I watched The Counterfeiters on my way back from Taiwan on KrisWorld, the SQ IFE System. In case you are not aware, the movie won the 2007 Best Foreign Language Film Oscar.
I have never been much of a mainstream movie person. I didn't like many films. But I usually enjoy an indie flick or a foreign language film. Heck, I even enjoyed the cockneyed Indian movies about how this poor guy (girl) falls in love with a rich girl (guy) and their family vehemently protests the social class imbalance.
Enter Banana Trees, Coconut Trees... But these days, expensive flicks they've become. Enter Rome Spanish Steps, Eiffel Tower of Paris etc etc. I've since stopped watching these when I realised that all the director and cast wanted were a free holiday. Man, how can a broke guy go to the Spanish Steps and dance up and down those damned steps? Crazy!
Still, I must say that The Counterfeiters was an interesting film.
Actually, the only reason why I recalled this was T. F.'s invitation for me to buy a good printer and start printing money. I guess if I have the skill and know how, I'll do a wad of USD 10 bills and spend it in Las Vegas. I mean, easy come, easy go. Who knows I might even get to launder them while I'm there.
I guess many of us, when younger, would love money. I don't know if I could say I love money now. I can't do without it, I confess, but to say that I'm in love with money is a little simplistic.
I still enjoy unexpected small windfalls but other than that, money is hard earned. Hard come, but still easy go. What would I do if I had a money printing machine? Not much, I guess. I'd be too lazy to do all the printing. I'll more likely ask Shade to help me print some and then I just take and spend. No, forget it. Shade will kill the machine. He'll attempt to print gazillion pieces, whatever the amount is. The machine will just die because the edges become dull from excessive use.
The Counterfeiters is an interesting show to watch. It is amazing how the skill to swindle is actually a skill that kept the guy alive. There is much irony in the show, despite it being rather dark.
I remember when the Nazis finally surrendered and the group of counterfeiters were found by their countrymen. The conmen were nearly shot because their countrymen found them "too fat" to be survivors of war! The Nazis kept them well-fed so that they could devote all their energies to work towards the diabolical ends of ruining the US and UK economies with lots of fake notes.
If you have time, have a watch.
I have never been much of a mainstream movie person. I didn't like many films. But I usually enjoy an indie flick or a foreign language film. Heck, I even enjoyed the cockneyed Indian movies about how this poor guy (girl) falls in love with a rich girl (guy) and their family vehemently protests the social class imbalance.
Enter Banana Trees, Coconut Trees... But these days, expensive flicks they've become. Enter Rome Spanish Steps, Eiffel Tower of Paris etc etc. I've since stopped watching these when I realised that all the director and cast wanted were a free holiday. Man, how can a broke guy go to the Spanish Steps and dance up and down those damned steps? Crazy!
Still, I must say that The Counterfeiters was an interesting film.
Actually, the only reason why I recalled this was T. F.'s invitation for me to buy a good printer and start printing money. I guess if I have the skill and know how, I'll do a wad of USD 10 bills and spend it in Las Vegas. I mean, easy come, easy go. Who knows I might even get to launder them while I'm there.
I guess many of us, when younger, would love money. I don't know if I could say I love money now. I can't do without it, I confess, but to say that I'm in love with money is a little simplistic.
I still enjoy unexpected small windfalls but other than that, money is hard earned. Hard come, but still easy go. What would I do if I had a money printing machine? Not much, I guess. I'd be too lazy to do all the printing. I'll more likely ask Shade to help me print some and then I just take and spend. No, forget it. Shade will kill the machine. He'll attempt to print gazillion pieces, whatever the amount is. The machine will just die because the edges become dull from excessive use.
The Counterfeiters is an interesting show to watch. It is amazing how the skill to swindle is actually a skill that kept the guy alive. There is much irony in the show, despite it being rather dark.
I remember when the Nazis finally surrendered and the group of counterfeiters were found by their countrymen. The conmen were nearly shot because their countrymen found them "too fat" to be survivors of war! The Nazis kept them well-fed so that they could devote all their energies to work towards the diabolical ends of ruining the US and UK economies with lots of fake notes.
If you have time, have a watch.
Politics and the English Language
I wish I have so much knowledge of politics and the masterful ability to manipulate English like Orwell could.
And then I watch my group self-destruct as I rip their pieces to sub-atomic particles.
Ok, knowing myself, I won't do that. But I'll definitely hope to give them a good grounding in what to and not to do in writing.
If I could turn one of them interested enough to pursue a career in rhetoric and persuasion, I'll be very satisfied with myself.
After all, writing is tough. And watching Orwell tear other writers to pieces - some of them professors, no less - makes me glad that he's dead and now silent.
I could only hope I could illuminate half as brightly as Orwell could when it comes to rhetorical pitfalls when I begin teaching freshman writing.
And then I watch my group self-destruct as I rip their pieces to sub-atomic particles.
Ok, knowing myself, I won't do that. But I'll definitely hope to give them a good grounding in what to and not to do in writing.
If I could turn one of them interested enough to pursue a career in rhetoric and persuasion, I'll be very satisfied with myself.
After all, writing is tough. And watching Orwell tear other writers to pieces - some of them professors, no less - makes me glad that he's dead and now silent.
I could only hope I could illuminate half as brightly as Orwell could when it comes to rhetorical pitfalls when I begin teaching freshman writing.
2008 Beijing Olympics
Supposed to start today.
I wonder what will happen.
Birds' Nest collapse?
Multiple bombs detonated at all venues?
Sand storm starts at 6 pm suddenly and envelopes the entire city in a layer of yellow grainy dust?
Massive food poisoning for all athletes?
Fireworks self-ignition on the ground?
Who knows...?
Could be something equal to the big bang.
I wait.
And see.
I wonder what will happen.
Birds' Nest collapse?
Multiple bombs detonated at all venues?
Sand storm starts at 6 pm suddenly and envelopes the entire city in a layer of yellow grainy dust?
Massive food poisoning for all athletes?
Fireworks self-ignition on the ground?
Who knows...?
Could be something equal to the big bang.
I wait.
And see.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Political tadpole
I believe if my memory did not fail me, Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew did call his brother a political tadpole. You know, so little knowledge of politics and the inside workings.
Recently, I followed a big online "spat" between two bloggers I hold in equally high esteem. I'd better tread carefully here because I realise that either of them have all the time to retaliate against me than I would ever have in my life. I'm not entirely sure but it's a safe assumption, unless I want to be deluged with death threats from both sides of the big pond.
Interestingly, when I visited my uncle in Taiwan during my holidays, he too, I realised, is extremely passionate about politics. We could never get any political discussion started because the political systems involved were vastly different.
If Singapore had a parliament, yes we adapted the Westminster style, that could have fist fights, our economy would have long died. Singapore could only thrive when there is a quasi-communist democracy. Don't take me to task -this is the way I see it and I am entitled to my opinion. I can't find something more appropriate at the moment but I am open to suggestions - for naming that ideological leaning(s) only.
We have a highly paternalistic government that almost decides for us what should be done, with room for you to choose how you want to do it. We have unions - interestingly in a tripartite arrangement with the government and the workers. It isn't the neatest arrangement but we probably need it.
To understand Singapore better, one can probably go to wikipedia. But what I wanted to say is that the political tadpole analogy seems terribly damning.
Even when the tadpole grows up, he's probably a frog in a political well...
I guess being arm chair political critics are easy. Just like backseat drivers.
But as long as we reach the intended destination, we probably have to grin and bear with the motion sickness. After all, at least for me, Singapore did not get here with a bumbling government.
Recently, I followed a big online "spat" between two bloggers I hold in equally high esteem. I'd better tread carefully here because I realise that either of them have all the time to retaliate against me than I would ever have in my life. I'm not entirely sure but it's a safe assumption, unless I want to be deluged with death threats from both sides of the big pond.
Interestingly, when I visited my uncle in Taiwan during my holidays, he too, I realised, is extremely passionate about politics. We could never get any political discussion started because the political systems involved were vastly different.
If Singapore had a parliament, yes we adapted the Westminster style, that could have fist fights, our economy would have long died. Singapore could only thrive when there is a quasi-communist democracy. Don't take me to task -this is the way I see it and I am entitled to my opinion. I can't find something more appropriate at the moment but I am open to suggestions - for naming that ideological leaning(s) only.
We have a highly paternalistic government that almost decides for us what should be done, with room for you to choose how you want to do it. We have unions - interestingly in a tripartite arrangement with the government and the workers. It isn't the neatest arrangement but we probably need it.
To understand Singapore better, one can probably go to wikipedia. But what I wanted to say is that the political tadpole analogy seems terribly damning.
Even when the tadpole grows up, he's probably a frog in a political well...
I guess being arm chair political critics are easy. Just like backseat drivers.
But as long as we reach the intended destination, we probably have to grin and bear with the motion sickness. After all, at least for me, Singapore did not get here with a bumbling government.
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
How do you spend your $50?
I typically break a $50 after a good meal and the remaining 10 to 20 over bucks can last me another three or four lunches.
These days, a lunch at some run down eating place sets me back in excess of 10 bucks!
So, instead of $50 lasting me a few days, it's usually gone in one.
It helps that I don't have vices such as visiting p.......... (no, you may not buy a vowel), drinking alcohol, gambling, etc etc. Still, the way the cash sublimes into thin air is a little debilitating.
All I do is to treat myself to some decent meal once a while and I'm hardly seeing any change coming back.
On groceries, $50 used to get me a trolleyfull at NTUC. Now, it costs around twice as much.
So, yeah, watching my expenses would tell me where the $50 is going and if I am getting my money's worth.
These days, a lunch at some run down eating place sets me back in excess of 10 bucks!
So, instead of $50 lasting me a few days, it's usually gone in one.
It helps that I don't have vices such as visiting p.......... (no, you may not buy a vowel), drinking alcohol, gambling, etc etc. Still, the way the cash sublimes into thin air is a little debilitating.
All I do is to treat myself to some decent meal once a while and I'm hardly seeing any change coming back.
On groceries, $50 used to get me a trolleyfull at NTUC. Now, it costs around twice as much.
So, yeah, watching my expenses would tell me where the $50 is going and if I am getting my money's worth.
Monday, August 04, 2008
$50 don't last long...
In recent days, inflation has taken a terrible toll on my pocket. I discover that $50 don't last as long as they did a few months ago.
The wallet empties out really fast. I should start watching my expenses.
The wallet empties out really fast. I should start watching my expenses.
We can forget
Long before I switched over to my new touchpad laptop, I stopped synching my brick of a cellphone with my Microsoft Outlook.
The only problem I have now is that my GPS is not updated as I was unable to get the phone to establish an internet connection via my new PC.
Then he spent the entire afternoon and a good part of the evening first synching the phone against an empty slate and losing all my information, restoring it from a grossly outdated database - I'm still missing lots and worse I don't know what's missing, and then successfully updated the GPS program.
But meanwhile, I lost so much time to do things that would otherwise have put me in a better mood than I am now. I am in a terribly foul mood because I now need to re-input all my appointments, if I know where to find the info, and I didn't manage to get the use of the computer.
The short of the long story is this: We are able to actually live without updates or reminders from things we had in the past and we don't even know what we have lost.
We can forget. It's just whether physically, we are as ready to lose our useless tangible baggage as easily as our minds lost their mental burdens.
I shall continue to strive to streamline my physical belongings.
The only problem I have now is that my GPS is not updated as I was unable to get the phone to establish an internet connection via my new PC.
Then he spent the entire afternoon and a good part of the evening first synching the phone against an empty slate and losing all my information, restoring it from a grossly outdated database - I'm still missing lots and worse I don't know what's missing, and then successfully updated the GPS program.
But meanwhile, I lost so much time to do things that would otherwise have put me in a better mood than I am now. I am in a terribly foul mood because I now need to re-input all my appointments, if I know where to find the info, and I didn't manage to get the use of the computer.
The short of the long story is this: We are able to actually live without updates or reminders from things we had in the past and we don't even know what we have lost.
We can forget. It's just whether physically, we are as ready to lose our useless tangible baggage as easily as our minds lost their mental burdens.
I shall continue to strive to streamline my physical belongings.
The Bucket List
I watched The Bucket List last night. The Day After Tomorrow was showing free on air. Having watched TDAT at least twice and youthful Jake was no longer as eye candy as before, I decided to take on the offer to do TBL instead.
To say that it was a great movie would not do it justice. It has inspired me to make up my own bucket list as I move along in life. I only wish I had someone rich enough to help me fulfill most of them.
It is amazing, to say the least, watching two very brilliant actors - Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman - duelling in a simple movie that tugged at heartstrings. It would have been a low-budget flick but I bet Jack and Morgan took the roles with the caveat that they get to travel to and visit Italy and some swanky restaurant on top on a hill, watching sunset over dinner, South Africa (Johannesburg) and a safari (hey, they even watched the wildebeest crossing - and I only get to see that on Discovery!) and Egypt and the Egyptian pyramids, India and the Taj Mahal, Nepal and almost Mount Everest, and Hong Kong.
Both raced in Shelby Mustangs in the US, did sky diving, Jack got a tattoo, Morgan nearly got laid (but his loyalty to his wife kept him from taking up the offer), both jetsetted in Jack's private Learjet... Perks galore!
Read here to find out what the movie is really about.
While critics generally panned the movie, I liked it. I am typically not your everybody movie goer. I judge by a different set of standards. First on my list - should the movie even be made? Readers who've seen my other movie reviews know my stand that a movie should not be made for the sake of being made. But I digress.
Emotional dramas are typically panned regardless of how good they are. Remember Titanic? The critics hated it big time: waif-like Leonardo DiCaprio getting to hug busomy Kate Winslet on a palace created to be sunk probably fuelled their jealousy. But what's there to really hate the TBL, even if it had surpassed reality for a little? It merely asked viewers two simple questions:
1. Are you happy?
2. Have you made people happy?
These were brought to the forefront when at the top of some ruins, Carter (Freeman) mentioned that the ancient Egyptians believed that when they died, they would go to the gates of heaven where their final fates depended on their answers to the two questions above. Carter asked Edwards (Nicholson) for his reply. It was there and then that Edwards let on about his estranged relationship with his only daughter.
It took Carter some prodding and perhaps also his death to get Ed and his daughter to reconcile. But Edward did do it.
Though an emo-drama, a viewer does not get the gloom and doom feeling of watching a show where the two male leads are inevitably going to die. The Bucket List is really a list of things they want to do before they kick the bucket. Edwards was introduced to this philosophical list when Carter thrashed his half completed list after he received his death sentence from his oncologist. Apparently, this list was mooted by Carter's philo professor when he was an undergraduate in some college; he had to drop out after an unplanned pregnancy and low funds disrupted his plans to become a history professor. Edward added to the list and soon, it came a to-do list where both men embarked on with every intention of completing.
The unlikely friendship between Carter and Edward was amazing. The stoic and measured Carter is the complete complete opposite of the emotional and explosive Edward. The counterbalances in the movie are well-calibrated and I tell you, Jack could act with just eyes - he lay on the hospital bed when the doctor came in with a grim prognosis. Viewers could only see Jack's eyes through the lenses of a periscope mounted on his glasses to allow him to read newspapers and watch TV when fully reclined. Man, those expressive eyes said it all. "You're blocking me," he told off the doctor after he delivered the diagnosis and prognosis, showing his strength of character.
It is always encouraging when you see two people nearing the ends of their lives living to the fullest. I guess time is wasted on the living. Perhaps when people know they are going to die that they start treasuring time, in case there is no tomorrow. But wouldn't that be too late?
"A survey asked people if they wanted to know exactly when they would die. 96% said no. I guess I am one of those 4% who wanted. I think it would be good. But when it happened, I am not so sure anymore." Carter narrated this as he got his death sentence. But hey, life began for him after this!
People should have their bucket lists. It is not a list to showcase what they have achieved in life but to give meaning to life. The list may grow as the items get struck off. But taking action rather than to wait for an impending doom to act is perhaps one of the best way to live.
To say that it was a great movie would not do it justice. It has inspired me to make up my own bucket list as I move along in life. I only wish I had someone rich enough to help me fulfill most of them.
It is amazing, to say the least, watching two very brilliant actors - Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman - duelling in a simple movie that tugged at heartstrings. It would have been a low-budget flick but I bet Jack and Morgan took the roles with the caveat that they get to travel to and visit Italy and some swanky restaurant on top on a hill, watching sunset over dinner, South Africa (Johannesburg) and a safari (hey, they even watched the wildebeest crossing - and I only get to see that on Discovery!) and Egypt and the Egyptian pyramids, India and the Taj Mahal, Nepal and almost Mount Everest, and Hong Kong.
Both raced in Shelby Mustangs in the US, did sky diving, Jack got a tattoo, Morgan nearly got laid (but his loyalty to his wife kept him from taking up the offer), both jetsetted in Jack's private Learjet... Perks galore!
Read here to find out what the movie is really about.
While critics generally panned the movie, I liked it. I am typically not your everybody movie goer. I judge by a different set of standards. First on my list - should the movie even be made? Readers who've seen my other movie reviews know my stand that a movie should not be made for the sake of being made. But I digress.
Emotional dramas are typically panned regardless of how good they are. Remember Titanic? The critics hated it big time: waif-like Leonardo DiCaprio getting to hug busomy Kate Winslet on a palace created to be sunk probably fuelled their jealousy. But what's there to really hate the TBL, even if it had surpassed reality for a little? It merely asked viewers two simple questions:
1. Are you happy?
2. Have you made people happy?
These were brought to the forefront when at the top of some ruins, Carter (Freeman) mentioned that the ancient Egyptians believed that when they died, they would go to the gates of heaven where their final fates depended on their answers to the two questions above. Carter asked Edwards (Nicholson) for his reply. It was there and then that Edwards let on about his estranged relationship with his only daughter.
It took Carter some prodding and perhaps also his death to get Ed and his daughter to reconcile. But Edward did do it.
Though an emo-drama, a viewer does not get the gloom and doom feeling of watching a show where the two male leads are inevitably going to die. The Bucket List is really a list of things they want to do before they kick the bucket. Edwards was introduced to this philosophical list when Carter thrashed his half completed list after he received his death sentence from his oncologist. Apparently, this list was mooted by Carter's philo professor when he was an undergraduate in some college; he had to drop out after an unplanned pregnancy and low funds disrupted his plans to become a history professor. Edward added to the list and soon, it came a to-do list where both men embarked on with every intention of completing.
The unlikely friendship between Carter and Edward was amazing. The stoic and measured Carter is the complete complete opposite of the emotional and explosive Edward. The counterbalances in the movie are well-calibrated and I tell you, Jack could act with just eyes - he lay on the hospital bed when the doctor came in with a grim prognosis. Viewers could only see Jack's eyes through the lenses of a periscope mounted on his glasses to allow him to read newspapers and watch TV when fully reclined. Man, those expressive eyes said it all. "You're blocking me," he told off the doctor after he delivered the diagnosis and prognosis, showing his strength of character.
It is always encouraging when you see two people nearing the ends of their lives living to the fullest. I guess time is wasted on the living. Perhaps when people know they are going to die that they start treasuring time, in case there is no tomorrow. But wouldn't that be too late?
"A survey asked people if they wanted to know exactly when they would die. 96% said no. I guess I am one of those 4% who wanted. I think it would be good. But when it happened, I am not so sure anymore." Carter narrated this as he got his death sentence. But hey, life began for him after this!
People should have their bucket lists. It is not a list to showcase what they have achieved in life but to give meaning to life. The list may grow as the items get struck off. But taking action rather than to wait for an impending doom to act is perhaps one of the best way to live.
Friday, August 01, 2008
She writes... He writes...
Thanks to Mr Singh, I have ideas for the next blog entry.
Readers alert: Vulgar language.
She writes...
Dear Journal,
Haiyah, another new teacher. This time it's this airhead asking if we like to skate. Skate... sigh, cheapskate more like it. One day this teacher who promise us everything, the next day, come in and give what spelling test.
Sex-key-per-there-lian? Talking about me in chastity belt is it?
Die-ah-them? Yeah, you're right. Those bloody boys all should die for laughing at me.
Guo-dam? Wh... what is that? Is it go or is it them?
I really have no idea. I scored zero and many of my friends also. Everything so difficult. And when he returned us the spelling test the next day, he became this saviour of the world again, muttering that "I'll turn you all into aces."
Ace Ventura Pet Detective? I dun wan. Be aces for what? I just want to find a rich man who loves me. Oh, forget about love. Just make sure the money is there and the sex is good.
Talk about sex, this is depressing. The bloody stick showed positive. I'm two weeks late. And that stupid boy act blur like nothing has happened.
He promise me nothing will happen one. He says the "we draw her" method is very accurate. And he asked me to calculate my cycle. Aiyoh, what cycle? Bicycle? I this month 5 weeks, last month 6 weeks, two months back 4 weeks... Calculate what?
Do, do lah. No big deal. But I'm getting scared. Cos I'm feeling like vomiting sometimes in the morning. And it's been two weeks...
Please, Journal, I can't be preggie. Not now.
Digress again. Sigh, that's my biggest problem. I always forget and start going off in all directions.
That stupid man. He made us write a literature essay. Literature essay is always boring. I racked my brains and came up with a half-page answer and then he complained and complained that my points were not supported, I didn't write grammatically.... yah dah yah dah yah dah. He dunno I didn't choose lit one meh? It was given to me because the D&T teacher didn't want me (they say I got gold fingers, cannot touch tools), the F&N teacher say I got butter fingers, and the art teacher said I got lazy fingers. So I got to do lit. But what the hell is Romeo and Juliet doing?
The question is so stupid. "In what way had the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets affected the people around them?" Simple mah, Mercutio died, Tybalt died. The Nurse played middleman and acted as the messenger (almost like traitor like dat) and... So boring, just write out the half page and in the end spend another 2 weeks rewriting.
I really give up. Shit, need to go and pee already... wait a while.
Still nothing. I think I'm screwed.
Love,
Huay.
PS. Actually, the new lit teacher quite good looking. I like his moustache and I really wonder if he is as good as he looks. ;)
He writes...
Wah lau eh, write what journal? Everytime ask me to write journal write journal. I simply hate writing man. Wah, better stop complaining. Write so many words already. Incredible.
That bloody woman keeps badgering me that her big aunt not here yet. Who the fuck cares whether it comes or not? To me, it's very clear. I pull out and everything shoot on her belly. Should be lah. Can't see too clearly. The grass patch under the Whitley Road flyover is not very well-lit. But I really pull out before it shoot. So if she's pregnant, so what? How can she prove it's mine?
But she's good man. My groin feel very shiok. I wonder when I can have her best friend also. Maybe both of them... :P
The new lit teacher is really a pain in my ass man. Talk with that accent and tries to win us over with his skateboard. Wah, simi lai eh? Skateboard? These days, I already riding motorbike. Still skateboard. Wu yah bo?
I think he's got a cuckoo jiao in his head. One day, we tells us we are at the top of the world, the next he told us we are complete morons. After that, he said we will turn into aces. With our spelling tests results so excellent, yeah, right. That's all I can say.
Sex kwee pay the lian - me pay the lian for sex? Unlikely leh... so far it's always under the flyover.
Pussy learn i must - what? I still need to learn pussy? Chey, I literally learn to eat pussies liao.
But what the fuck lah. Still get zero for the test. What to do? I not the study type. I wonder if I have a chance to go out and be bouncer. After all, my basketball physique is not too bad. And I'm big, long and strong.
Hard again. Let me take care of it.
Kwee Seng.
Readers alert: Vulgar language.
She writes...
Dear Journal,
Haiyah, another new teacher. This time it's this airhead asking if we like to skate. Skate... sigh, cheapskate more like it. One day this teacher who promise us everything, the next day, come in and give what spelling test.
Sex-key-per-there-lian? Talking about me in chastity belt is it?
Die-ah-them? Yeah, you're right. Those bloody boys all should die for laughing at me.
Guo-dam? Wh... what is that? Is it go or is it them?
I really have no idea. I scored zero and many of my friends also. Everything so difficult. And when he returned us the spelling test the next day, he became this saviour of the world again, muttering that "I'll turn you all into aces."
Ace Ventura Pet Detective? I dun wan. Be aces for what? I just want to find a rich man who loves me. Oh, forget about love. Just make sure the money is there and the sex is good.
Talk about sex, this is depressing. The bloody stick showed positive. I'm two weeks late. And that stupid boy act blur like nothing has happened.
He promise me nothing will happen one. He says the "we draw her" method is very accurate. And he asked me to calculate my cycle. Aiyoh, what cycle? Bicycle? I this month 5 weeks, last month 6 weeks, two months back 4 weeks... Calculate what?
Do, do lah. No big deal. But I'm getting scared. Cos I'm feeling like vomiting sometimes in the morning. And it's been two weeks...
Please, Journal, I can't be preggie. Not now.
Digress again. Sigh, that's my biggest problem. I always forget and start going off in all directions.
That stupid man. He made us write a literature essay. Literature essay is always boring. I racked my brains and came up with a half-page answer and then he complained and complained that my points were not supported, I didn't write grammatically.... yah dah yah dah yah dah. He dunno I didn't choose lit one meh? It was given to me because the D&T teacher didn't want me (they say I got gold fingers, cannot touch tools), the F&N teacher say I got butter fingers, and the art teacher said I got lazy fingers. So I got to do lit. But what the hell is Romeo and Juliet doing?
The question is so stupid. "In what way had the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets affected the people around them?" Simple mah, Mercutio died, Tybalt died. The Nurse played middleman and acted as the messenger (almost like traitor like dat) and... So boring, just write out the half page and in the end spend another 2 weeks rewriting.
I really give up. Shit, need to go and pee already... wait a while.
Still nothing. I think I'm screwed.
Love,
Huay.
PS. Actually, the new lit teacher quite good looking. I like his moustache and I really wonder if he is as good as he looks. ;)
He writes...
Wah lau eh, write what journal? Everytime ask me to write journal write journal. I simply hate writing man. Wah, better stop complaining. Write so many words already. Incredible.
That bloody woman keeps badgering me that her big aunt not here yet. Who the fuck cares whether it comes or not? To me, it's very clear. I pull out and everything shoot on her belly. Should be lah. Can't see too clearly. The grass patch under the Whitley Road flyover is not very well-lit. But I really pull out before it shoot. So if she's pregnant, so what? How can she prove it's mine?
But she's good man. My groin feel very shiok. I wonder when I can have her best friend also. Maybe both of them... :P
The new lit teacher is really a pain in my ass man. Talk with that accent and tries to win us over with his skateboard. Wah, simi lai eh? Skateboard? These days, I already riding motorbike. Still skateboard. Wu yah bo?
I think he's got a cuckoo jiao in his head. One day, we tells us we are at the top of the world, the next he told us we are complete morons. After that, he said we will turn into aces. With our spelling tests results so excellent, yeah, right. That's all I can say.
Sex kwee pay the lian - me pay the lian for sex? Unlikely leh... so far it's always under the flyover.
Pussy learn i must - what? I still need to learn pussy? Chey, I literally learn to eat pussies liao.
But what the fuck lah. Still get zero for the test. What to do? I not the study type. I wonder if I have a chance to go out and be bouncer. After all, my basketball physique is not too bad. And I'm big, long and strong.
Hard again. Let me take care of it.
Kwee Seng.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
He was sure he would change the world
I read with this knowing moronic smile on my face as Mr Singh blasts off (pun not intended) this delightful account of how the idealistic teacher tries to change the world, only to have his world come crashing back down almost immediately.
In the chronological existence of this solar system, a day is not even significant enough to be represented on a blip anywhere. In comparison, an amoeba would have occupied more space on a piece of high school graph paper than a day would in the immense horizon.
Incredibly, has mankind changed the world?
It would be entirely foolish and totally conceited to think that any one at all can change the world. Did Hitler change the world? Did Einstein change the world? Did Emperor Qin change the world? Did Edison change the world? Did Columbus change the world? Did Newton change the world? Did education change the world? Did energy change the world? Did mass tranportation means change the world?
So what changed the world? Could anything have changed the world had the world not allowed it? Do you think your tallest buildings, largest aircraft, longest sailing vessel, grandest man made structure actually changed the world? No. In fact, the world simply tolerates these little contemnible bits that dot its face.
Think about it, should the world decide that it's time to get rid of the pimple, an invisible hand squeezes the boil and out comes the pus when the skin breaks.
All of you that happen to be building your castles on that part of the boil simply get exterminated.
Human existence is an accident. It was a evil stroke of genius that created man. Why would the mish-mash of RNA and DNA make humans? Why not create something with four sex organs and one leg instead of the other way around? Why do humans have to stand upright? Can't humans not work? Can't we consume like there's no tomorrow and not worry about putting on weight? Why are we living for so long? Why do I have to work? Why do I need to create a god to explain things when I am sure that things are merely accidents and why do I take comfort that such a god exists? Like it or not, we are in a sad state of affairs. We are in denial. We believe whatever we do now can undo whatever we had done since the Industrial Revolution. We believe that consuming less now would help. Does it help? We work and work so that we achieve progress. But what is progress? And we achieve progress as opposed to what? Does progress translate to an equal platform on which the spoils are shared? Hardly. Many of us work so as to prop up the inordinately "blessed" (or blasted, if you prefer)few.
It does not take a genius to figure out that it is us, HUMANS, who fear for our lives (more than the existence of Earth). Few people would admit that if anything had changed, it was humans, not the world. Even fewer would agree that our fear of global warming and what have you stems from what I call the inability to let go. Our cupidity has overriden our good sense. We cling on to life and our earthly belongings. We are afraid that once Earth "crashes", we would be reduced to nothing. We do not think we could live like the Neanderthals, tatterdemalions who roamed the Earth in the ages past.
Think of all the nuclear testings that were done around the world. At the end of it, the world remained but humans turned into malformed creatures. Someone must be right about such things - if it ain't karma, then it must be Sharon Stone, the drama-mama.
When would we begin to see that our actions are actually killing us, instead of the world? Global warming is no issue. What issue is there? I have oft argued that Earth is a self-regulating CLOSED system that seeks its own equilibrium; Earth would know what to do to right itself. Global warming is an issue ONLY to human beings. Face it: who are the real supernumaries on Earth?
Think about it. Did the world turned into a cone or a pyramid when global warming took place? No! Did the world create more water, more wind, higher temperatures? No. Could Earth survive high water levels, no rainforests, no fish, no food, no whatever? Surely yes. Most of all, Earth can survive without humans. Can humans say the same without Earth?
It is just so naive to believe that the world would cease to exist when humans become extinct. This is so laughable. Preposterous.
So, why care about the world? Why the pretense? Think about your own actions before you judge others for not doing what you preach.
I am just so glad I'm not leaving any descendants behind. So you don't have to tell me that the world is a gift that I am holding in trust for my children. Everyone can go to hell, including me. Such an outcome is probably condign for all of us.
I see the doors wide open, the red carpet rolled out, the fire is red and toasty. So what the bloody hell are you waiting for?
Me? I'm not due there yet; I've not done enough evil for hell to accept me. See you later.
In the chronological existence of this solar system, a day is not even significant enough to be represented on a blip anywhere. In comparison, an amoeba would have occupied more space on a piece of high school graph paper than a day would in the immense horizon.
Incredibly, has mankind changed the world?
It would be entirely foolish and totally conceited to think that any one at all can change the world. Did Hitler change the world? Did Einstein change the world? Did Emperor Qin change the world? Did Edison change the world? Did Columbus change the world? Did Newton change the world? Did education change the world? Did energy change the world? Did mass tranportation means change the world?
So what changed the world? Could anything have changed the world had the world not allowed it? Do you think your tallest buildings, largest aircraft, longest sailing vessel, grandest man made structure actually changed the world? No. In fact, the world simply tolerates these little contemnible bits that dot its face.
Think about it, should the world decide that it's time to get rid of the pimple, an invisible hand squeezes the boil and out comes the pus when the skin breaks.
All of you that happen to be building your castles on that part of the boil simply get exterminated.
Human existence is an accident. It was a evil stroke of genius that created man. Why would the mish-mash of RNA and DNA make humans? Why not create something with four sex organs and one leg instead of the other way around? Why do humans have to stand upright? Can't humans not work? Can't we consume like there's no tomorrow and not worry about putting on weight? Why are we living for so long? Why do I have to work? Why do I need to create a god to explain things when I am sure that things are merely accidents and why do I take comfort that such a god exists? Like it or not, we are in a sad state of affairs. We are in denial. We believe whatever we do now can undo whatever we had done since the Industrial Revolution. We believe that consuming less now would help. Does it help? We work and work so that we achieve progress. But what is progress? And we achieve progress as opposed to what? Does progress translate to an equal platform on which the spoils are shared? Hardly. Many of us work so as to prop up the inordinately "blessed" (or blasted, if you prefer)few.
It does not take a genius to figure out that it is us, HUMANS, who fear for our lives (more than the existence of Earth). Few people would admit that if anything had changed, it was humans, not the world. Even fewer would agree that our fear of global warming and what have you stems from what I call the inability to let go. Our cupidity has overriden our good sense. We cling on to life and our earthly belongings. We are afraid that once Earth "crashes", we would be reduced to nothing. We do not think we could live like the Neanderthals, tatterdemalions who roamed the Earth in the ages past.
Think of all the nuclear testings that were done around the world. At the end of it, the world remained but humans turned into malformed creatures. Someone must be right about such things - if it ain't karma, then it must be Sharon Stone, the drama-mama.
When would we begin to see that our actions are actually killing us, instead of the world? Global warming is no issue. What issue is there? I have oft argued that Earth is a self-regulating CLOSED system that seeks its own equilibrium; Earth would know what to do to right itself. Global warming is an issue ONLY to human beings. Face it: who are the real supernumaries on Earth?
Think about it. Did the world turned into a cone or a pyramid when global warming took place? No! Did the world create more water, more wind, higher temperatures? No. Could Earth survive high water levels, no rainforests, no fish, no food, no whatever? Surely yes. Most of all, Earth can survive without humans. Can humans say the same without Earth?
It is just so naive to believe that the world would cease to exist when humans become extinct. This is so laughable. Preposterous.
So, why care about the world? Why the pretense? Think about your own actions before you judge others for not doing what you preach.
I am just so glad I'm not leaving any descendants behind. So you don't have to tell me that the world is a gift that I am holding in trust for my children. Everyone can go to hell, including me. Such an outcome is probably condign for all of us.
I see the doors wide open, the red carpet rolled out, the fire is red and toasty. So what the bloody hell are you waiting for?
Me? I'm not due there yet; I've not done enough evil for hell to accept me. See you later.
Reiterating the Ethos of this Blog
I've begun tagging my posts and working backwards. The tags serve to accurately pinpoint my state of mind when I wrote the entry. With this decision, reiterating what this blog stands for becomes important:
If you haven't a good thing to say, you're welcome to sit beside me.
I don't pretend to be the Dalai Lama or Mother Theresa although in one of those weird personality tests, I fall in the same quadrant as the two of them. In short, my cards are faced up on the table. I do not pretend to be pure as Snow White, innocent as Bambi, gullible as Pooh, brilliant as Einstein, irreproachable as a saint or what have you. And I don't want to act in anyway that I am not.
In fact, people who come here want to celebrate a mind more twisted than Katrina, humour darker than black holes, a being more mentally crippled than Hawkings physically is and what have you.
But one thing is certain - malice is not intended. The main objective is sometimes to highlight some interesting observations, make some comments on perceived injustices, stupidities, Darwin Award-ism, social imbalances, etc.
Over here, we may agree to disagree. Even disagree to disagree.
My readers and I come from vastly different backgrounds. Of course, our moral yardsticks differ. I don't even know if I have a moral yardstick. I mostly categorise people into a few groups - people I want to have a meal with, people I want to have tea with, people I want to visit, people I want to share my food with, people I want to serve poisoned food to, people whose food I would eat, people whose food I would not eat and whom I should cut out from my life... Well, I think I should review this sentence some time in the future. I probably have as many categories as I have people in my life. But by and large, I think my friends are great people. If they are not, refer to previous sentence.
Simply said, I am a person with a huge tolerance and immense latitude for differences. But don't cross, or worse double cross, me. I'll run over and amputate your toes. This is the minimum I guarantee. If I fail, I could do it again. No?
If you haven't a good thing to say, you're welcome to sit beside me.
I don't pretend to be the Dalai Lama or Mother Theresa although in one of those weird personality tests, I fall in the same quadrant as the two of them. In short, my cards are faced up on the table. I do not pretend to be pure as Snow White, innocent as Bambi, gullible as Pooh, brilliant as Einstein, irreproachable as a saint or what have you. And I don't want to act in anyway that I am not.
In fact, people who come here want to celebrate a mind more twisted than Katrina, humour darker than black holes, a being more mentally crippled than Hawkings physically is and what have you.
But one thing is certain - malice is not intended. The main objective is sometimes to highlight some interesting observations, make some comments on perceived injustices, stupidities, Darwin Award-ism, social imbalances, etc.
Over here, we may agree to disagree. Even disagree to disagree.
My readers and I come from vastly different backgrounds. Of course, our moral yardsticks differ. I don't even know if I have a moral yardstick. I mostly categorise people into a few groups - people I want to have a meal with, people I want to have tea with, people I want to visit, people I want to share my food with, people I want to serve poisoned food to, people whose food I would eat, people whose food I would not eat and whom I should cut out from my life... Well, I think I should review this sentence some time in the future. I probably have as many categories as I have people in my life. But by and large, I think my friends are great people. If they are not, refer to previous sentence.
Simply said, I am a person with a huge tolerance and immense latitude for differences. But don't cross, or worse double cross, me. I'll run over and amputate your toes. This is the minimum I guarantee. If I fail, I could do it again. No?
Monday, July 28, 2008
Everybody loves a winner
Fairness is an Utopian concept. Few things in life are truly fair. That's why only death considered an equaliser. In this world where people typically choose to associate themselves with fame, align themselves on the path of riches and hanker for Lady Luck to smile on them, it is no surprise that a winner is usually well-loved.
Who would have given two hoots about who came in second? How many Miss Universe first runner-ups can you name? How many world number 2's of the various sports can you name? Do you even know the student who got edged out for the valedictorian honours?
Sadly, we only remember the winners.
Is that necessarily bad? I don't know. But it is certainly unhealthy. Affirmation, even if one is not a winner, is what many people seek and yet it is hard to come by. Perhaps it is the Asian mentality where excellence and high levels of achievements are treated as norm. Maybe our reticent nature stops us from giving praise or acknowledging work well done. Or it might be true that when we praise someone or give the person high marks in an examination, we are cutting off an arm and presenting it as a gift. I don't know.
We have become a nation that is unable to praise or manage praises. Few of us can be winners but certainly, many of us look expectantly towards the affirmation that never comes around.
Who would have given two hoots about who came in second? How many Miss Universe first runner-ups can you name? How many world number 2's of the various sports can you name? Do you even know the student who got edged out for the valedictorian honours?
Sadly, we only remember the winners.
Is that necessarily bad? I don't know. But it is certainly unhealthy. Affirmation, even if one is not a winner, is what many people seek and yet it is hard to come by. Perhaps it is the Asian mentality where excellence and high levels of achievements are treated as norm. Maybe our reticent nature stops us from giving praise or acknowledging work well done. Or it might be true that when we praise someone or give the person high marks in an examination, we are cutting off an arm and presenting it as a gift. I don't know.
We have become a nation that is unable to praise or manage praises. Few of us can be winners but certainly, many of us look expectantly towards the affirmation that never comes around.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Tagging
I was not once but frequently asked to tag my posts because I have interesting jokes and stuff which I promise to share if I manage to find them somewhere on my blog.
So, I think I should start tagging my posts. I wonder if I should be brave or foolhardy enough to tag the previous 799 posts as well.
So, I think I should start tagging my posts. I wonder if I should be brave or foolhardy enough to tag the previous 799 posts as well.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
News headline peep
Saw on the Chinese tabloid today that 54% of Singapore workers are "riding on donkeys (while) looking for horses."
Sad eh?
Sad eh?
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
A non-post
I've been too busy and too tired to write. Projects are piling up and the marking load is growing faster than my poor brain can cope.
But there are still some good stuff up there to share.
And I'm also in the midst of uploading some outdated travel pictures. What needs to be done needs to be done, I guess.
Till then.
But there are still some good stuff up there to share.
And I'm also in the midst of uploading some outdated travel pictures. What needs to be done needs to be done, I guess.
Till then.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
The Tickle Me Elmo Story
This allegedly took place in a factory in the USA which manufactured the 'Tickle Me Elmo' toys, (a children's plush cuddly toy which laughs when tickled under the arm). The legend has is it that a new employee was hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she duly reported for her first day's induction training, prior to being allocated a job on the production line.
At 08:45 the next day the personnel manager received a visit from an excited assembly line foreman who was not best pleased about the performance of the new recruit. The foreman explained that she was far too slow, and that she was causing the entire line to back-up, delaying the whole production schedule. The personnel manager asked to see what was happening, so both men proceeded to the factory floor.
On arrival they saw that the line was indeed badly backed-up - there were hundreds of Tickle Me Elmos strewn all over the factory floor, and they were still piling up. Virtually buried in a mountain of toys sat the new employee earnestly focused on her work. She had a roll of red plush fabric and a bag of marbles. The two men watched amazed as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around a pair of marbles and carefully began sewing the little package between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager began to laugh, and it was some while before he could compose himself, at which he approached the trainee.
"I'm sorry," he said to her, not able to disguise his amusement, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday.... Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
At 08:45 the next day the personnel manager received a visit from an excited assembly line foreman who was not best pleased about the performance of the new recruit. The foreman explained that she was far too slow, and that she was causing the entire line to back-up, delaying the whole production schedule. The personnel manager asked to see what was happening, so both men proceeded to the factory floor.
On arrival they saw that the line was indeed badly backed-up - there were hundreds of Tickle Me Elmos strewn all over the factory floor, and they were still piling up. Virtually buried in a mountain of toys sat the new employee earnestly focused on her work. She had a roll of red plush fabric and a bag of marbles. The two men watched amazed as she cut a little piece of fabric, wrapped it around a pair of marbles and carefully began sewing the little package between Elmo's legs. The personnel manager began to laugh, and it was some while before he could compose himself, at which he approached the trainee.
"I'm sorry," he said to her, not able to disguise his amusement, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday.... Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Gone Crazy
I was about to go to bed and then this!
I've got to stop. Or I'll just be posting the whole YouTube here!
I've got to stop. Or I'll just be posting the whole YouTube here!
Do you remember the time?
I am so dead certain that I knew what I was going to blog about for each of the past few days.
Alas, when I am at the computer, I can't remember a single f*cking event.
Am I getting old? (This is a rhetorical question!)
Alas, when I am at the computer, I can't remember a single f*cking event.
Am I getting old? (This is a rhetorical question!)
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Kudos to Tony Snow (1955 - 2008)
Tony Snow was George W Bush's Press Secretary. In layman's terms, he was the spin doctor, the President's mouth piece and the country's chief propagandist.
Snow died of cancer recently. In the Washington Post obituary, he was given a glowing write-up on his life. I produce an extract below:
In his brief tenure as Bush's public advocate, Snow became perhaps the best-known face of the administration after the president, vice president and secretary of state. Parlaying skills honed during years at Fox News, he offered a daily televised defense of the embattled president that was robust and at times even combative while repairing strained relations with a press corps frustrated by years of rote talking points.
He was lively and entertaining, he could be disarmingly candid when ducking a question, and he did not hesitate to retreat when it became clear he had gone too far. He could tell reporters to "zip it" one minute and defuse tension the next by admitting that he knew so little about a topic that he was "not going to fake it." He enjoyed the give-and-take of a tough briefing, but his smile, upbeat energy and glib repartee seemed to take the edge off sometimes rough rhetoric on behalf of an unpopular leader and unpopular policies.
Perhaps we tend to be kinder to people in their deaths but to say this of a person whose daily job is to give out less than palatable news speaks volumes of him as a person.
I've never got to see him in action much, but I'm sure he must have been a great entertainer and press sec.
RIP, Tony.
Snow died of cancer recently. In the Washington Post obituary, he was given a glowing write-up on his life. I produce an extract below:
In his brief tenure as Bush's public advocate, Snow became perhaps the best-known face of the administration after the president, vice president and secretary of state. Parlaying skills honed during years at Fox News, he offered a daily televised defense of the embattled president that was robust and at times even combative while repairing strained relations with a press corps frustrated by years of rote talking points.
He was lively and entertaining, he could be disarmingly candid when ducking a question, and he did not hesitate to retreat when it became clear he had gone too far. He could tell reporters to "zip it" one minute and defuse tension the next by admitting that he knew so little about a topic that he was "not going to fake it." He enjoyed the give-and-take of a tough briefing, but his smile, upbeat energy and glib repartee seemed to take the edge off sometimes rough rhetoric on behalf of an unpopular leader and unpopular policies.
Perhaps we tend to be kinder to people in their deaths but to say this of a person whose daily job is to give out less than palatable news speaks volumes of him as a person.
I've never got to see him in action much, but I'm sure he must have been a great entertainer and press sec.
RIP, Tony.
A case against PC-ness
Political correctness has its time and place. But like everything, there could be too much of it.
T F Stern tells why.
In addition, I will also raise the point that writing something like "Man discovered fire" was considered sexist.
I just hope those bra burning ones choke on the fumes as they fight tooth and nail when silly sexist issues come up.
What has the world come to?
T F Stern tells why.
In addition, I will also raise the point that writing something like "Man discovered fire" was considered sexist.
I just hope those bra burning ones choke on the fumes as they fight tooth and nail when silly sexist issues come up.
What has the world come to?
IndyMac, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac
Watching with bated breath how the mortgage lenders are dealing with the subprime woes which are hogging the prime slots in the news.
I wonder if I should be indignant that the world's economy is beseiged by this lending fiasco or I should be celebrating. After all, the recent boom is a little too much to bear and things are getting so so so damned expensive because people, with more disposable income during the boom, are consuming like there is no tomorrow.
20 years ago, I already knew we will be looking at an oil crisis around the 2010s. Not difficult to imagine - thanks Samsung! - because 20 years ago, we were already taught that oil is going to run out in 50 years. And people only started mining oil like when?!
At the rate we are consuming oil and the world's resources, it does not take a rocket scientist to realise that the reserves are not going to last beyond my generation.
So, those around my age who have decided not have kids, I think you've done the world a great service. For those who have decided to have kids, I think you've done the world a great service too. Like yin and yang, there must be a balance.
(Every time this yin and yang thing comes up, I feel compelled to tell this joke. I think the Singaporeans and those following Singapore politics would appreciate it: In life, there needs to be a balance between yin and yang. Like we have the Goddess of Mercy (Guan Yin), we also have (Lee) Kuan Yew. No get it? Never mind.)
For the longest time, we use an auxillary power battery to power the gadgets in our cars. But for the longest time, we know that oil and non-renewable energy reserves are running out. So, why aren't our cars carrying solar energy panels on the tops and sides so that solar energy can be harnessed to power the lights, the radio, the whatever and possibly run the car too?
That's just an example.
People complain that developing technology is expensive. But compared to the amount of money that you're paying the oil companies, who are in turn paying the oil barons, wouldn't those money be well spent?
People are afraid to break out of their comfort zones and innovate because of many reasons. One over-riding factor for that is financially driven. One does not have to go to far to see how Big Pharma is touting their branded patents as opposed to acknowledging that generics work as well (or even trying to hamper other competitors developing generics) to admit that a market economy is really only for the rich.
But now, many of the rich are also getting poorer. But most of them are still rich beyond compare.
Beijing Olympics are around the corner. The Chinese have shown themselves to be a resilient people in the face of the disasters they had and are still facing. They should also realise that even if it were not for bad karma over Tibet - thanks Sharon. Luckily you didn't say it of the oil rich nations or they'd have stoned you already - they had been disaster magnets. The rain in Spain, at least this year, stayed mainly on the yellow plains (China).
There was this recent news article about how parts of China are already in the doldrums, with many people out of job. This is the Olympic curse. In the years leading up to the games, the frantic pace of building new infrastructure - mostly white elephants *after* the games - spurs the city's economy to boom. The projects' completion means the demise of the construction sector. During the games, thousands are hired as PR folks. After the games, the people are happy to keep a half-filled tummy.
So, we should add to the list of IM, FM and FM. If China the lumbering giant takes a misstep in its path of economic growth, I am sure we will all be dragged under this time. And perhaps all for a good cause.
Without consolidation, without destruction, without catastrophes, how can there be new growth? And how do you think oil had come about in the first place?
I wonder if I should be indignant that the world's economy is beseiged by this lending fiasco or I should be celebrating. After all, the recent boom is a little too much to bear and things are getting so so so damned expensive because people, with more disposable income during the boom, are consuming like there is no tomorrow.
20 years ago, I already knew we will be looking at an oil crisis around the 2010s. Not difficult to imagine - thanks Samsung! - because 20 years ago, we were already taught that oil is going to run out in 50 years. And people only started mining oil like when?!
At the rate we are consuming oil and the world's resources, it does not take a rocket scientist to realise that the reserves are not going to last beyond my generation.
So, those around my age who have decided not have kids, I think you've done the world a great service. For those who have decided to have kids, I think you've done the world a great service too. Like yin and yang, there must be a balance.
(Every time this yin and yang thing comes up, I feel compelled to tell this joke. I think the Singaporeans and those following Singapore politics would appreciate it: In life, there needs to be a balance between yin and yang. Like we have the Goddess of Mercy (Guan Yin), we also have (Lee) Kuan Yew. No get it? Never mind.)
For the longest time, we use an auxillary power battery to power the gadgets in our cars. But for the longest time, we know that oil and non-renewable energy reserves are running out. So, why aren't our cars carrying solar energy panels on the tops and sides so that solar energy can be harnessed to power the lights, the radio, the whatever and possibly run the car too?
That's just an example.
People complain that developing technology is expensive. But compared to the amount of money that you're paying the oil companies, who are in turn paying the oil barons, wouldn't those money be well spent?
People are afraid to break out of their comfort zones and innovate because of many reasons. One over-riding factor for that is financially driven. One does not have to go to far to see how Big Pharma is touting their branded patents as opposed to acknowledging that generics work as well (or even trying to hamper other competitors developing generics) to admit that a market economy is really only for the rich.
But now, many of the rich are also getting poorer. But most of them are still rich beyond compare.
Beijing Olympics are around the corner. The Chinese have shown themselves to be a resilient people in the face of the disasters they had and are still facing. They should also realise that even if it were not for bad karma over Tibet - thanks Sharon. Luckily you didn't say it of the oil rich nations or they'd have stoned you already - they had been disaster magnets. The rain in Spain, at least this year, stayed mainly on the yellow plains (China).
There was this recent news article about how parts of China are already in the doldrums, with many people out of job. This is the Olympic curse. In the years leading up to the games, the frantic pace of building new infrastructure - mostly white elephants *after* the games - spurs the city's economy to boom. The projects' completion means the demise of the construction sector. During the games, thousands are hired as PR folks. After the games, the people are happy to keep a half-filled tummy.
So, we should add to the list of IM, FM and FM. If China the lumbering giant takes a misstep in its path of economic growth, I am sure we will all be dragged under this time. And perhaps all for a good cause.
Without consolidation, without destruction, without catastrophes, how can there be new growth? And how do you think oil had come about in the first place?
Friday, July 11, 2008
You can die laughing...
Fatal hilarity refers to death resulting from the physiological effects of laughter. Use of the phrase was first recorded in 1596.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
A group of crows
What do you call a group of crows? I remembered reading about this some months back but when I faced this question last Sunday, I was suddenly stumped.
Ok, to help all of us along, choose the correct answer from below.
What do you call a group of crows?
(A) kidnap
(B) gang
(C) party
(D) murder
(E) bandit
Ok, to help all of us along, choose the correct answer from below.
What do you call a group of crows?
(A) kidnap
(B) gang
(C) party
(D) murder
(E) bandit
Like dull blows from a sledgehammer...
Anyone can put the 26 letters of the English alphabet to form words. But not all words exist.
Anyone can put the above words to form sentences. But not all sentences make sense.
Anyone can put those above sentences to form an essay. But not all essays make sense either.
Interesting how some people can fly under the English radar for so long and now land on the chopping board where I am performing butcher duties. I have no idea whether I am chopping their insensible answers out because reading these essays are like receiving an endless bevy of dull blows from a sledgehammer to my head.
Sooner or later, I'm going bonkers.
Anyone can put the above words to form sentences. But not all sentences make sense.
Anyone can put those above sentences to form an essay. But not all essays make sense either.
Interesting how some people can fly under the English radar for so long and now land on the chopping board where I am performing butcher duties. I have no idea whether I am chopping their insensible answers out because reading these essays are like receiving an endless bevy of dull blows from a sledgehammer to my head.
Sooner or later, I'm going bonkers.
Didn't you teach them to read and write?
I have this uncontrollable urge to want to scream at my ex-colleagues - teachers, English Language teachers in particular - and ask if they had done their jobs properly.
From what I can see from those stacks of scripts waiting to be graded, I don't think so. Incidental learning is as the name suggests. How it is really carried out depends on whether an incident has happened. Since you don't see teachers submitting incident reports, other than the disciplinary types in which only wh-words and past tense are taught, students learn next to nothing.
So, they come to university and viola! Many know nothing about accurate reading, proper writing and correct grammar.
And yet they think they are excellent communicators.
From what I can see from those stacks of scripts waiting to be graded, I don't think so. Incidental learning is as the name suggests. How it is really carried out depends on whether an incident has happened. Since you don't see teachers submitting incident reports, other than the disciplinary types in which only wh-words and past tense are taught, students learn next to nothing.
So, they come to university and viola! Many know nothing about accurate reading, proper writing and correct grammar.
And yet they think they are excellent communicators.
Ten Hours
That's how much sleep I had yesterday. I feel so much more awake this morning.
I can almost bet you the other fallacy is the decrease in libido as one ages. Explain the need for viagra and the term "dirty old man" if otherwise!
I can almost bet you the other fallacy is the decrease in libido as one ages. Explain the need for viagra and the term "dirty old man" if otherwise!
Monday, July 07, 2008
Age and Sleep
I always under the impression that as one gets older, one needs less sleep. That had been my understanding since 20 years ago.
But it is not happening to me!
I am older now. And I've never stopped needing at least 10 hours of sleep to be fully awake and functional.
The sleep loanshark has probably run out of pigs' head to hang at my door to intimidate me into paying. I bet you I'm just going to go into hibernation mode if this sleep deprivation is not going to get addressed.
Unfortunately, Bangkok is so dangerous now and KL too. Sigh.
But it is not happening to me!
I am older now. And I've never stopped needing at least 10 hours of sleep to be fully awake and functional.
The sleep loanshark has probably run out of pigs' head to hang at my door to intimidate me into paying. I bet you I'm just going to go into hibernation mode if this sleep deprivation is not going to get addressed.
Unfortunately, Bangkok is so dangerous now and KL too. Sigh.
Friday, July 04, 2008
The steely look of determination
Conducted two tests yesterday and was amazed to see the steely looks of determination on the test takers' faces. Can't help feeling sorry for them. For it is not what they know that disappoints them.
Their disappointment stems from their not knowing and thus, not performing up to the required standards. But YET think they have it, they have done excellently and they have been discriminated against.
At some point in everyone's life, each has to learn that for things subjective, it is perception that matters. And most of the time, "our perception" is just a poor representation of what we really think (which, for the record, are vastly different in most cases). For all other things objective, skills and mastery matter. And subjectivity and objectivity are largely disjoint concepts.
Well, we all trudge along and lose our jarring bits... Life!
Their disappointment stems from their not knowing and thus, not performing up to the required standards. But YET think they have it, they have done excellently and they have been discriminated against.
At some point in everyone's life, each has to learn that for things subjective, it is perception that matters. And most of the time, "our perception" is just a poor representation of what we really think (which, for the record, are vastly different in most cases). For all other things objective, skills and mastery matter. And subjectivity and objectivity are largely disjoint concepts.
Well, we all trudge along and lose our jarring bits... Life!
Let those who drive and talk on their cellphones DIE
Hands-free cellphone use while driving won't make the roads safer, studies show. Why? Brain overload.
Scientists say that when mixing cellphones and driving, the number of hands available for the tasks is not the limiting factor.
Instead, it's a driver's attention and processing capacity. These are often stretched beyond safe limits when someone juggles the complex tasks of negotiating traffic and conversing with another remotely.
Worse than being drunk
"There are limits to how much we can multi-task, and that combination of cellphone and driving exceeds the limits," says David Strayer, a University of Utah psychologist who has found that by many measures, drivers yakking on cellphones are more dangerous behind the wheel than those who are drunk, whether the conversation is carried on by handset or headset. More...
There you go! The people who allowed talk-driving ought to be shot. With TF's phallic gun, no less. Screw them all, senseless bunch of idiots!
Scientists say that when mixing cellphones and driving, the number of hands available for the tasks is not the limiting factor.
Instead, it's a driver's attention and processing capacity. These are often stretched beyond safe limits when someone juggles the complex tasks of negotiating traffic and conversing with another remotely.
Worse than being drunk
"There are limits to how much we can multi-task, and that combination of cellphone and driving exceeds the limits," says David Strayer, a University of Utah psychologist who has found that by many measures, drivers yakking on cellphones are more dangerous behind the wheel than those who are drunk, whether the conversation is carried on by handset or headset. More...
There you go! The people who allowed talk-driving ought to be shot. With TF's phallic gun, no less. Screw them all, senseless bunch of idiots!
Monday, June 30, 2008
A Sobering Thought
On Thinking About Atonement With a Parent
By: Jan Goldman
Acknowledgement: On Thinking About Atonement With a Parent was written when I was in a poetry writing course. There was an assignment to write a poem on the subject of atonement in relation to a parent. My first reaction was that I had nothing to say. I had been the “good child” who was responsible and brought home the bacon. This poem than came out of that “nothing to say.” It surprised me with its depth of feeling.
How does the good child atone
the one with no regret
whose small shoulders ached
with the weight of responsibility placed
early, early, early.
The one who put before you
a banquet table of accomplishment
for your feasting, for your portion.
The one who stilled her own heart's music
and filled her nostrils with
the acrid smell of caution
for your name's sake.
No, I owe you no atonement.
Better to atone for myself
for the lost path in the wilderness
for the wanderlust not indulged
for the lovers never taken.
Now in the late October of my years
with the harvest mostly gathered,
it's your turn.
It's your turn to atone for me.
Source: Families, Systems, & Health. Vol.25 (3) pp. 354-354.
I think this is one of the most amazing poems ever written. How does a good child atone? Hasn't he already done his penance by being the good child?
For all you good boys and good girls out there.
By: Jan Goldman
Acknowledgement: On Thinking About Atonement With a Parent was written when I was in a poetry writing course. There was an assignment to write a poem on the subject of atonement in relation to a parent. My first reaction was that I had nothing to say. I had been the “good child” who was responsible and brought home the bacon. This poem than came out of that “nothing to say.” It surprised me with its depth of feeling.
How does the good child atone
the one with no regret
whose small shoulders ached
with the weight of responsibility placed
early, early, early.
The one who put before you
a banquet table of accomplishment
for your feasting, for your portion.
The one who stilled her own heart's music
and filled her nostrils with
the acrid smell of caution
for your name's sake.
No, I owe you no atonement.
Better to atone for myself
for the lost path in the wilderness
for the wanderlust not indulged
for the lovers never taken.
Now in the late October of my years
with the harvest mostly gathered,
it's your turn.
It's your turn to atone for me.
Source: Families, Systems, & Health. Vol.25 (3) pp. 354-354.
I think this is one of the most amazing poems ever written. How does a good child atone? Hasn't he already done his penance by being the good child?
For all you good boys and good girls out there.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Do you think it gives me an orgasm?
Went back for a second acupuncture treatment for the bust back yesterday. The second time in two days.
And after the acupuncturist nagged at me that I am visiting too frequently, when I went to collect my meds, the pharmacist gave me another earful about not coming twice in two days for meds and acupuncture, should at most visit twice or thrice a week for such treatment yah dah yah dah yah dah.
Hello! First, the physician on the first visit gave me flu meds, which if you do not know, will not address the bust back. Anyway, the meds you had dispensed are 2/3 done, since I went last night. You know - 3 days' med contains 9 doses. By last night, I'm 5 doses done. Ok, I'm 6 doses done. I took a double for my first dose, as I usually do for Chinese meds. And the remaining meds are going to run out today - don't worry, I won't waste any medicine - so, what's your problem?
It's not as though I am such a pain seeker that getting jabbed, electro-stimulated through needles and a harsh post acupuncture massage is going to give me an orgasm!
* * *
The Age, 27 June 2008
Craig Platt
European budget carrier Ryanair has taken its cheeky reputation to new levels, with chief executive officer Michael O'Leary suggesting business class passengers would receive free oral sex on flights.
O'Leary made the saucy remarks during a press conference in Germany about Ryanair's Trans-Atlantic flights.
Explaining that Ryanair's long-haul flights would feature a business class that went against Ryanair's typical low-budget ethos, O'Leary remarked that "in economy it will be very cheap fares, say 10 Euros, and in business class it will be bed and blowjobs".
While O'Leary's remark was obviously a joke, he repeated the controversial comment and wanted it translated for the journalists.
"In business class," he said, "it will all be free - including the blowjobs."
He then asked the translator the German word for oral sex. After being told there wasn't one, he remarked "terrible sex life in Germany".
I recall the European airlines I've flown before. I'm going to claim that I suffer from a serious bout of amnesia here about my experience but I am going to conclude that I don't think I will be excited at all to fly on Ryanair's business class, much less get me an orgasm.
* * *
More things that won't hit the mark:
- Oil hits US$140 as Libya warns of production cuts.
- E. Coli in tomatoes, beef; salmonella in other things, except money in my pocket.
- Singapore raises pump prices the third time in a month despite respite in oil prices.
- Rates for electricity going up.
There, go figure.
"Some days the balls don't bounce where you want them to bounce or they don't land where you want them to land." - Maria Sharapova, after being beaten 6-2, 6-4 in the second round of Wimbledon by the 20-year-old Alla Kudryavtseva, who is ranked 152 places beneath her and has previously won only four matches this year.
And after the acupuncturist nagged at me that I am visiting too frequently, when I went to collect my meds, the pharmacist gave me another earful about not coming twice in two days for meds and acupuncture, should at most visit twice or thrice a week for such treatment yah dah yah dah yah dah.
Hello! First, the physician on the first visit gave me flu meds, which if you do not know, will not address the bust back. Anyway, the meds you had dispensed are 2/3 done, since I went last night. You know - 3 days' med contains 9 doses. By last night, I'm 5 doses done. Ok, I'm 6 doses done. I took a double for my first dose, as I usually do for Chinese meds. And the remaining meds are going to run out today - don't worry, I won't waste any medicine - so, what's your problem?
It's not as though I am such a pain seeker that getting jabbed, electro-stimulated through needles and a harsh post acupuncture massage is going to give me an orgasm!
* * *
The Age, 27 June 2008
Craig Platt
European budget carrier Ryanair has taken its cheeky reputation to new levels, with chief executive officer Michael O'Leary suggesting business class passengers would receive free oral sex on flights.
O'Leary made the saucy remarks during a press conference in Germany about Ryanair's Trans-Atlantic flights.
Explaining that Ryanair's long-haul flights would feature a business class that went against Ryanair's typical low-budget ethos, O'Leary remarked that "in economy it will be very cheap fares, say 10 Euros, and in business class it will be bed and blowjobs".
While O'Leary's remark was obviously a joke, he repeated the controversial comment and wanted it translated for the journalists.
"In business class," he said, "it will all be free - including the blowjobs."
He then asked the translator the German word for oral sex. After being told there wasn't one, he remarked "terrible sex life in Germany".
I recall the European airlines I've flown before. I'm going to claim that I suffer from a serious bout of amnesia here about my experience but I am going to conclude that I don't think I will be excited at all to fly on Ryanair's business class, much less get me an orgasm.
* * *
More things that won't hit the mark:
- Oil hits US$140 as Libya warns of production cuts.
- E. Coli in tomatoes, beef; salmonella in other things, except money in my pocket.
- Singapore raises pump prices the third time in a month despite respite in oil prices.
- Rates for electricity going up.
There, go figure.
"Some days the balls don't bounce where you want them to bounce or they don't land where you want them to land." - Maria Sharapova, after being beaten 6-2, 6-4 in the second round of Wimbledon by the 20-year-old Alla Kudryavtseva, who is ranked 152 places beneath her and has previously won only four matches this year.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Actual call centre conversations
Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'G reat. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light the n.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power.......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: ' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'G reat. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
' Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light the n.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power.......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f --- ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
Case in point
The New Paper Headline today:
SINGAPORE MOTORIST DIES IN CRASH
He beats red light while fleeing from police.
Sister says: He has no licence but he loves to speed
He rides like he wants to die
And I think he's only 17.
I suddenly feel a teeny weeny bit smarter already!
SINGAPORE MOTORIST DIES IN CRASH
He beats red light while fleeing from police.
Sister says: He has no licence but he loves to speed
He rides like he wants to die
And I think he's only 17.
I suddenly feel a teeny weeny bit smarter already!
One after another
It started with the larynx inflamation and then I sprained my back when I cleared the kitchen to welcome the new fridge and washer.
Now I am limping cos my back is killing me.
And last year at this time, I was battling a terrible bout of tonsilitis while preparing for the Montreal Convention submissions.
One year apart but both times, I am coughing my lungs out, trying to clear up my passages and attempting to expel "macha mochi".
I need something that works. Fast!
Now I am limping cos my back is killing me.
And last year at this time, I was battling a terrible bout of tonsilitis while preparing for the Montreal Convention submissions.
One year apart but both times, I am coughing my lungs out, trying to clear up my passages and attempting to expel "macha mochi".
I need something that works. Fast!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Open Letter to Singaporean Drivers
Dear Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms/Madam Driver,
I know your car is cheap. By your standards, the damned thing must be cheap.
I know your life is cheap. By the insurance companies' estimate, you probably don't have much life insurance.
I know your car insurance is cheap. Since your car is cheap, then the insurance, which costs a minute fraction of the car price must be like a microscopic speck of dust in your eyes.
I know your licence is cheap. You probably got it while you were overseas and then converted to the Singapore licence, which is notoriously difficult to achieve.
I know petrol is cheap. Despite the hikes and all, your car is bigger than your brains and your car's petrol consumption is faster than a battalion of thirsty soldiers at a water parade, you simply think nothing of it.
I know your brake pads are cheap. That's why you can afford to speed up and brake suddenly so often.
I know you think your judgement is impeccable. That's why you tailgate the cars like an bootlicking ass sniffer who has literally shoved his/her/its nose into the ass he/she/it is sniffing and actually *believe* you can brake in time in case of sudden slowdowns.
I know you think your driving skills are over the top. That's why you weave in and out of traffic with no care for the lesser drivers on the road.
My biggest hope for you is to be involved in some major road accident that leaves you maimed, hopefully hand-and-leg amputee, your brain damaged enough for you to lose your ability to speak but not your ability to feel pain, frustration and most importantly, your pelvis smashed so you need a colon-bag sticking out by your side - you have a hand to change your own! - and may you outlive your caregivers! And what else can I wish upon you that you did not try to inflict upon us through your senseless driving.
I know you have already bought your one-way ticket to hell, but the saner of us have not bought ours. We probably don't know that such a ticket exists, except for the brief realisation that on your attempt to take trip there, you would have had the ability to bring us along for free. (Did you pay with your Mastercard?)
I wish you all success in your death seeking pursuits,
A law-abiding driver
I know your car is cheap. By your standards, the damned thing must be cheap.
I know your life is cheap. By the insurance companies' estimate, you probably don't have much life insurance.
I know your car insurance is cheap. Since your car is cheap, then the insurance, which costs a minute fraction of the car price must be like a microscopic speck of dust in your eyes.
I know your licence is cheap. You probably got it while you were overseas and then converted to the Singapore licence, which is notoriously difficult to achieve.
I know petrol is cheap. Despite the hikes and all, your car is bigger than your brains and your car's petrol consumption is faster than a battalion of thirsty soldiers at a water parade, you simply think nothing of it.
I know your brake pads are cheap. That's why you can afford to speed up and brake suddenly so often.
I know you think your judgement is impeccable. That's why you tailgate the cars like an bootlicking ass sniffer who has literally shoved his/her/its nose into the ass he/she/it is sniffing and actually *believe* you can brake in time in case of sudden slowdowns.
I know you think your driving skills are over the top. That's why you weave in and out of traffic with no care for the lesser drivers on the road.
My biggest hope for you is to be involved in some major road accident that leaves you maimed, hopefully hand-and-leg amputee, your brain damaged enough for you to lose your ability to speak but not your ability to feel pain, frustration and most importantly, your pelvis smashed so you need a colon-bag sticking out by your side - you have a hand to change your own! - and may you outlive your caregivers! And what else can I wish upon you that you did not try to inflict upon us through your senseless driving.
I know you have already bought your one-way ticket to hell, but the saner of us have not bought ours. We probably don't know that such a ticket exists, except for the brief realisation that on your attempt to take trip there, you would have had the ability to bring us along for free. (Did you pay with your Mastercard?)
I wish you all success in your death seeking pursuits,
A law-abiding driver
Crazy crazy roads
Yesterday, there were three road incidents that I saw on the Pan Island Expressway. Incredible.
In the first incident, a pick-up careened suddenly three lanes (from middle right all the way to the extreme left lane), and then past the road shoulder hit against the roadside fences along the shoulder lane and richocheted off. The pick-up then came to a stop in the road shoulder. Amazingly, no other car was involved despite there being cars before and following the pick-up all the way. Incredibly, no one had to brake or take evasive actions! Go figure. Right after I passed the pick-up, not more than 100 m later, there was a loud bang.
(A change in plans led me right back to the opposite side of the expressway). There, I saw the source of the loud bang. A lorry's back tyre has exploded. Go figure. It rests in the traffic island right after the exit to the expressway.
And late in the evening, after my shopping and dinner, on the way home, we saw a 12 car pile-up although the newspapers said that there were two separate incidents involving 10 cars in all. I counted and there were 12!
So exciting. Except there were no deaths. We could increase our IQ by a lot if these folks voluntarily removed themselves from the gene pool!
In the first incident, a pick-up careened suddenly three lanes (from middle right all the way to the extreme left lane), and then past the road shoulder hit against the roadside fences along the shoulder lane and richocheted off. The pick-up then came to a stop in the road shoulder. Amazingly, no other car was involved despite there being cars before and following the pick-up all the way. Incredibly, no one had to brake or take evasive actions! Go figure. Right after I passed the pick-up, not more than 100 m later, there was a loud bang.
(A change in plans led me right back to the opposite side of the expressway). There, I saw the source of the loud bang. A lorry's back tyre has exploded. Go figure. It rests in the traffic island right after the exit to the expressway.
And late in the evening, after my shopping and dinner, on the way home, we saw a 12 car pile-up although the newspapers said that there were two separate incidents involving 10 cars in all. I counted and there were 12!
So exciting. Except there were no deaths. We could increase our IQ by a lot if these folks voluntarily removed themselves from the gene pool!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Treasure Trove of Useless Tests
I thought I want to share with you my latest discovery - a treasure trove of useless tests. Then I decided against it. Believe you me that you are better off without them. After all, as these tests are written for the Oprah audiences; regardless of your responses, therapy would be recommended to address your "inadequacies".
I think I have just found a way to get rich!
I think I have just found a way to get rich!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tarragon-e
Sigh! When I went on my Taiwan trip, I asked my neighbour to help water my herbs.
When I came back, I saw my tarragon in a worse than terrible shape. It looks like it was wilting. The leaves were dark though the tips were still fresh.
It was late in the night and I didn't take a close look until the next day when I realise the entire plant was enveloped in some web. Darn! It must have been attacked by pests.
Sadly, I threw the entire plant away. I don't think I could save it given how advanced the scourge was and I was so not going to use pesticide on the plant since I intend to use the herbs. I wrapped the plant in a plastic bag together with the pot it was planted in and sent it down the rubbish chute.
Felt sad but what to do? That's part and parcel of gardening. And if these pests spread...
Now my basil are drying up. I wonder why... Is it because the weather had been too hot or if my pots had been too small or the soil levels are too low or... what?
I think one important lesson learnt is to go for the large mature plants straightaway from the nurseries. I am so not a good father to the plants since they need more attention than my work would allow me to give them. I can manage the two waterings a day but I certainly can't talk to them, prune them (except when I rob them for their leaves for my food) or sayang them.
I'm getting replacements for sure.
When I came back, I saw my tarragon in a worse than terrible shape. It looks like it was wilting. The leaves were dark though the tips were still fresh.
It was late in the night and I didn't take a close look until the next day when I realise the entire plant was enveloped in some web. Darn! It must have been attacked by pests.
Sadly, I threw the entire plant away. I don't think I could save it given how advanced the scourge was and I was so not going to use pesticide on the plant since I intend to use the herbs. I wrapped the plant in a plastic bag together with the pot it was planted in and sent it down the rubbish chute.
Felt sad but what to do? That's part and parcel of gardening. And if these pests spread...
Now my basil are drying up. I wonder why... Is it because the weather had been too hot or if my pots had been too small or the soil levels are too low or... what?
I think one important lesson learnt is to go for the large mature plants straightaway from the nurseries. I am so not a good father to the plants since they need more attention than my work would allow me to give them. I can manage the two waterings a day but I certainly can't talk to them, prune them (except when I rob them for their leaves for my food) or sayang them.
I'm getting replacements for sure.
Monday, June 16, 2008
A little respite from the heat
Took a trip up Yangming Mountain to escape the heat in Taipei. Still, the endless climbing and walking kept me dripping with sweat throughout the entire trip. Despite the 18 deg C cool air, that is.
It was good to revisit the mountain. It was my third visit up its slopes, just as it was my third visit to the island. During my past two trips, the wintry air greeted me. The fragrance of the camilias filled the air as I walked on the mountainous path.
This time, there was little fragrance. The camilias were no longer in bloom. The hillside was devoid of famous flowers. Of course, there were common flowers in bloom, showing off their resilience in the summer heat. And taking the opportunity of the respite offered by their better known counterparts, showed the world their glorious blooms.
The many bouts of passing showers turned the mountain into a drippy water fall; everything was dripping with rain but nothing was in torrents. It was like crossing a stream underneath a water fall who's source is too small to provide enough water to spread the full length of the curtain.
The climb was indeed arduous, the additional kilos showed. Still, I went to the newer parts of the mountain, parts which I had never visited before. And I was duly rewarded with its glorious sights.
It was good to revisit the mountain. It was my third visit up its slopes, just as it was my third visit to the island. During my past two trips, the wintry air greeted me. The fragrance of the camilias filled the air as I walked on the mountainous path.
This time, there was little fragrance. The camilias were no longer in bloom. The hillside was devoid of famous flowers. Of course, there were common flowers in bloom, showing off their resilience in the summer heat. And taking the opportunity of the respite offered by their better known counterparts, showed the world their glorious blooms.
The many bouts of passing showers turned the mountain into a drippy water fall; everything was dripping with rain but nothing was in torrents. It was like crossing a stream underneath a water fall who's source is too small to provide enough water to spread the full length of the curtain.
The climb was indeed arduous, the additional kilos showed. Still, I went to the newer parts of the mountain, parts which I had never visited before. And I was duly rewarded with its glorious sights.
Everyone has an opinion
On politics that is.
The Taiwanese are about the most politically sensitive people on earth and it is no wonder. There is a vocal group who fights for independence and there is a more moderate group who is happy with status quo. The independent, nationalistic sentiments for the former is very strong while the latter group is more concerned about materialistic enjoyment and staying rich.
There is no correct or wrong in this little island province. Everyone just speaks of the need for an identity, each manifestation different from the other.
The Taiwanese are about the most politically sensitive people on earth and it is no wonder. There is a vocal group who fights for independence and there is a more moderate group who is happy with status quo. The independent, nationalistic sentiments for the former is very strong while the latter group is more concerned about materialistic enjoyment and staying rich.
There is no correct or wrong in this little island province. Everyone just speaks of the need for an identity, each manifestation different from the other.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
I'm back
After a good 9 days in Taiwan trodding through Taipei, Hualien and Taitung, I am back.
It had been a most wonderful time and I'll be blogging more about it in the coming days.
It had been a most wonderful time and I'll be blogging more about it in the coming days.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Tantalizing Taiwan
I'll be in Taiwan from 6 to 14 Jun. Depending on what I manage to find there, I may or may not be able to update this blog.
The Glammer Police Strike
Ok, I know. It should be the Grammar Police strikes, but I'm so conscious of the constant raids on bad grammar that I begin to feel embarrassed.
I believe this feeling would get worse when I start teaching college writing classes.
But someone has to be the baddie. Well, if not me, then who? I am after all the one guarding the gates to Grammar Heaven.
"He is one of the actors who is/are well-paid".
If you get it correct, welcome to grammar heaven where you will spend all your time teaching others in grammar hell who can't get it. If you can't get it, welcome to grammar hell. And for what Chomsky is worth, some people do not have any semblance of grammar entrenched in their subconsciousness. I bet Chimpsky would probably beat them hands-down on the correct grammar usage.
I believe this feeling would get worse when I start teaching college writing classes.
But someone has to be the baddie. Well, if not me, then who? I am after all the one guarding the gates to Grammar Heaven.
"He is one of the actors who is/are well-paid".
If you get it correct, welcome to grammar heaven where you will spend all your time teaching others in grammar hell who can't get it. If you can't get it, welcome to grammar hell. And for what Chomsky is worth, some people do not have any semblance of grammar entrenched in their subconsciousness. I bet Chimpsky would probably beat them hands-down on the correct grammar usage.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Now go and do some housework!
It's Quinsy's fault. I took the Love Language test and I am effectively bilingual. My someone needs to be the one to perform all the acts of service so that I get to spend my quality time.
Score Love Language
4 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
0 Receiving of Gifts
10 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch
How to interpret your Profile Score:
Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary love language. If two scores are identical, you are bilingual (you have two primary love languages). If the scores of your primary and your secondary language are close (for example, 10 & 9 respectfully), it indicates both are important to you. Whatever a significant other does to express love in either of these languages will get emotional points with you.
The highest possible score for any language is 12.
Having a clear picture of your primary & secondary love languages will explain much of your past behavior Think back over the past and ask yourself "What have I most often requested from significant others?" Chances are your answer will lie within the scope of your primary & secondary love languages. You have been requesting that which would meet your deepest need for emotional love.
Score Love Language
4 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
0 Receiving of Gifts
10 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch
How to interpret your Profile Score:
Your highest score indicates your primary love language. Your second highest score indicates your secondary love language. If two scores are identical, you are bilingual (you have two primary love languages). If the scores of your primary and your secondary language are close (for example, 10 & 9 respectfully), it indicates both are important to you. Whatever a significant other does to express love in either of these languages will get emotional points with you.
The highest possible score for any language is 12.
Having a clear picture of your primary & secondary love languages will explain much of your past behavior Think back over the past and ask yourself "What have I most often requested from significant others?" Chances are your answer will lie within the scope of your primary & secondary love languages. You have been requesting that which would meet your deepest need for emotional love.
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