How to use 'aiyah'?

How to use 'aiyah'?

Aiyoh, goodness gracious?! This kind of article also can make it to the front page of the Straits Times ah? What has Singapore come to, man?

Dunno how to use 'aiyah'? Dun use lah. Liddat how? Everything must go online to look it up? Wah lau! The sky turn dark liao man, waiting for their reply to a remark I make or question I ask.

Singlish (ok, ok, the more authentic speech form is Singrish) is not at all difficult to understand what. Just listen to the tonal inflections and you know whether people are exasperated, questioning, exaggerating, emphasising, or what liao ma... Still need to check online dictionary? Where got time? And like your online dictionary is so dynamic to account for all the nuances associated with free speech (eh, don't be sotong, ah! Free speech is not the same as freedom of speech, ok?)

Can't believe people eat full can't shit, whole day nothing better to do, go and compile this kind of list. I tell you ah, like that huh, at the end of the day ah, by the time you try to see what each of the ah means in this article, you can go to bed tonight then come and tell me ah.

Actually ah, I'm quite evil here lah. I never indicate my tonal preferences for each of the Singlish items in italics. Really hor, liddat can be quite confusing one leh. But if I try leh, people will go siao trying to figure out how each tone sounds. If you are not brought up in the Singapore or some South East Asian context where you have a mixture of Oriental and Proto-Indo European languages, you prolly won't understand even a bit. Oh yah, and you need to know mabbe other languages even, so by the time you try to figure out this piece, you probably will go, aiyah, so blardy troublesome. I not interested liao lah. So bo liao.

[This blogger has a fellow classmate in his English Language Honours Class who scored the only First Class Honours. His thesis is entitled something to the effect of "The particle one in Singapore English", and the entire 12 000 word dissertation only discussed the article, "one" in Singlish. If anyone think they could use the online thingy and get anywhere to understanding Singlish culture, I believe they would be sadly mistaken.]