Hippocratic Oath - Cake Baking Teacher Version

Hippocratic Oath - Cake Baking Teacher Version

I swear by cheesecake and carrot cake and all the gods and goddesses, making them my witnesses, that I will fulfil according to my ability and judgment this oath and this covenant:

To make and feed him cheesecake and carrot cake until he ingests the (name of subject) behind this art of cake eating and to drive non cakemaking (name of subject) teachers away from him, and if he is in need of formula to give him a bigger slice of cheesecake, and to regard his careless mistake as equal to a piece of mango cheesecake and to teach them (name of subject) - if they desire to learn it - without complaint and covenant; to give a share of carrot cake coated with lemon icing sugar and all the other rich goodies to them and to their sons of him who may have been equally inflicted with (subject skill) but have taken the correct path of being a student under a cakemaking (name of subject) teacher but no one else.

I will apply cup measures for the benefit of the lack of (subject skill) according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from the kitchen and my Belling oven. I shall not use inferior ingredients beyond organic eggs and lovely lightly toasted walnuts and farm-fresh, pesticide free carrots although I am compelled by the powers that be that the cakes may not last for infinity.

I will neither give a cheesecake to anybody who asked for a carrot cake, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly I will not give to a moron an carrot cake when he asked for cheesecake. I shall not make more ingredients that is already dictated by the recipe book or attempt to bake the cake faster by increasing the temperature of the oven. I shall resist from looking at measures of ounces and pounds so that absolutely no one mistake will slip through the metric system. In purity and holiness I will guard my life and my art.

I will not use the artificial flavourings, not even on uncarroty cakes, but will use more carrots in favor of such bakers as are engaged in this work. I will not use the blue cheese to make cheesecakes, when ordinary cream cheese will do.

Whatever classes I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the vaguely interested, remaining free of all intentional insults, of all mischief and in particular of assymetrical relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves. They will learn to eat cheesecake and learn. They will then learn to vary their tastes by eating carrot cakes and learn. They will finally learn to eat cheesecake and carrot cake and learn.

What I may see or hear in the course of the cake eating or even outside of the cake eating in regard to the inability to graduate from TAF club, which on no account one must spread abroad, I will keep to myself, holding such things shameful to be spoken about. I also swear not to divulge any instances of infidelity to the low fat, low sugar, low salt, and low calories rules.

If I fulfil this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy classes with extremely high motivation levels, and then being honored with fame among all men for all time to come when I am being remembered and thanked for my cakes during teachers' day celebrations; if I transgress it and swear falsely, I'll make more cheese and carrot cakes.