Why John Rogers Needs Therapy

Why John Rogers Needs Therapy

I just saw this at The Therapy Sessions. I think this is another reason why therapy sessions are that important. Look what what John has written.

Bad Poetry

Pakistan is purging a poem from its school textbooks.

Apparently, the first letter of each line spells out "PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH," and this is causing an uproar in Islamabad.

The people who approve textbooks missed the "error," and the poem is being removed because it was anonymous and copied from the internet.

Copied from the internet. Could there be a better place to find quality poetry to teach the kiddies?

"The official said the concerned wing of the ministry was probing how a number of committees that sift through all textbooks, failed to take notice of the glaring blunder.

According to the paper, the unidentified official also wondered as to why the writer was kept nameless."

I'll take a stab at that mystery: The writer was kept nameless because his work was an embarrassing piece of shit that no student should be allowed to read, much less forced to learn.

Look:

You can think Bush is an evil, chimp retard who is bent on destroying the world.

OR

You can think Bush is a champion of good fighting tyranny.

(Or you can agree with me: Bush is the champion of a lucky retard club - bumbling into the presidency by running against people who are even stupider and more spineless than he is.)

But can we all agree, this poem is really a piece of shit?


The Leader

Patient and steady with all he must bear,
Ready to accept every challenge with care,
Easy in manner, yet solid as steel,
Strong in his faith, refreshingly real,
Isn't afraid to propose what is bold,
Doesn't conform to the usual mold,
Eyes that have foresight, for hindsight wont do,
Never back down when he sees what is true,
Tells it all straight, and means it all too,
Going forward and knowing he's right,
Even when doubted for why he would fight,
Over and over he makes his case clear,
Reaching to touch the ones who won't hear,
Growing in strength, he won't be unnerved,
Ever assuring he'll stand by his word,
Wanting the world to join his firm stand,
Bracing for war, but praying for peace,
Using his power so evil will cease:
So much a leader and worthy of trust,
Here stands a man who will do what he must.


Man, I think I might be sick.

- posted by John @ 12/06/2005 12:45:35 PM

Equal Misery

Equal Misery

Why did the AWOLee Melvyn Tan, who had to give up his Singapore citizenship 30 years ago because he had to choose between his fledging pianist career and his loyalty to Singapore, become the talk of Singapore?

Do you think Singaporeans, when condemning Melvyn's behaviour, are on moral high grounds themselves?

Why do they bemoan the fact that he was only fined $3000? I didn't. His parents coughed out $30 000 a long time ago. Then, that was an exorbitant amount.

Why do they belabour the fact that he did not report for national service? Had he not given up equally much, if not more? He had to live to Britain since 30 years ago and could never step back to Singapore, where his parents are living.

Have we progressed in our talk to becoming a more inclusive society? Hey, we *just* deferred cybergamers so that they could take part in the World Cybergames just a month back! How come we are unable to place the entire issue in retrospection and celebrate the fact that one of our sons is now a world-class pianist?

There are many many questions in the same vein. But it finally boils down to the "an eye for an eye" mentality of Singaporeans. We want all to share EQUAL MISERY.

Simply put, we went through two to two and a half years in the army. Outwardly, our bodies may have been toughened up, but deep inside, only we ourselves know if we have changed mentally. We lost out on opportunities and we devoted the best years of our lives to defending our nation.

To us, $3 000 is a small price. If possible, we would gladly fork out the $3 000 to trade off our NS obligations. What we enjoy as citizens may not be worth the sacrifice...

So, if we lose out, then why should one man gain? But did he really gain? What did he gain?

Duh!

Duh!

To think they actually *still* made me answer those questions!

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 10/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

I'm Hungry

I'm Hungry

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting. You focus on living a quality life. You're not easily impressed with novelty. Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

Me

Me

You Have a Choleric Temperament

You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior.

What Temperment Are You?

They call you Lady Luck

They call you Lady Luck

You Are Balanced - Realist - Empowered

You feel your life is controlled both externally and internally. You have a good sense of what you can control and what you should let go. Depending on the situation, you sometimes try to exert more control. Other times, you accept things for what they are and go with the flow. You are a realist when it comes to luck. You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random. You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you... But you do your best to try to make your own luck. You have a good deal of power, but you also know the pecking order. You realize that working the system does get you further. You know who to defer to and who to control. When it comes to the game of life, you play things flawlessly.

The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test

But of course!

But of course!

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

Ephemeral Thoughts

Ephemeral Thoughts

You Are Changing Leaves

Pretty, but soon dead.

What Part of Fall Are You?

That's me!

That's me!

Your Brain's Pattern

Your brain is always looking for the connections in life. You always amaze your friends by figuring out things first. You're also good at connecting people - and often play match maker. You see the world in fluid, flexible terms. Nothing is black or white.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

I knew it all the time...

I knew it all the time...

Your Blog Should Be Green

Your blog is smart and thoughtful - not a lot of fluff. You enjoy a good discussion, especially if it involves picking apart ideas. However, you tend to get easily annoyed by any thoughtless comments in your blog.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

Star Awards 2005

Star Awards 2005

I actually call it the "Red Ape Awards". Homonymous, when pronounced in Mandarin. Anyway, here are some of my conjectures/observations/ramblings/opinions/thoughts.

With his trademark "I not Stupid" in the fishball serial, Su Zhicheng won the best supporting male actor. I thought he deserved to win. Such a convincing portrayal. I would gladly stuff his mouth with those balls and box him in the nose. But this guy is talented - singer, DJ, and now actor. Happy for him.

The best supporting actress came from the same serial. "Fyn" (Lin Xiangping), that conniving bitch in the serial, won. In order to snatch her man from her best friend, Fyn was ruthless. She slept with the guy, even though he was married to her best friend, and then got pregnant. She so viciously toyed with him I wonder why he didn't just give her two kicks in her belly and throw the baby out with the bitch. Anyway, she died a horrible way in the show.

Best Actor in a Comedian Role went to Bryan Wong. Best Compere went to Quan Yifeng. THIS IS SO EXPECTED. How else can you make the ex-Channel U people feel that they are a part of your family if you don't do that? I mean, Channel U came out and tried to differentiate itself from Media Corps by concentrating on variety shows. (Ironically, U artistes were mainly those who jumped ship from MC.) And they were doing well. When U and MC merged, U programmes were brought over. Surely, MC could go lean for one year and let U have some limelight. The biggest loser that night is Jack Neo, for only Mark Lee, one of his proteges, won a Most Popular award (out of 10).

Interestingly enough, Bryan's thank you speech had a poignant moment. "How come (I don't feel) happiness in (winning) a Comedian Award? Why is it that a comedian (himself) can only smile when he comes 'home'?" Quan was seen tearing when he said this. 4 years of being the ALTERNATIVE terresterial channel in Singapore has taken its toll on those who jumped over to U. It was indeed true that it was the "folly" of these people who made some of the stars the stars they are now. Had these stayed, perhaps things would have been different. Who knows? But Bryan's tacit comment of the 4 years out of "home" was indeed thought provoking. Does entreprenuership really pay off? How often?

Fann Wong and Xie Shaoguang both won All-time Most Popular Awards. They deserve the awards thoroughly. Fann is exceptional because it took her merely 11 years to garner 10 consecutive Most Popular Artistes Award, leading to the ATMPA. Quick and along the way, she's found fame in recording, Hollywood, Taiwan, China and HK. She's great!

Xie is equally exceptional. He won so many best and best supporting actor awards that competition really opened up only after he left.

I was very happy when Chen Liping went up for her MPAA. She's come a long way since her "Ayoyo" days. It's hard to see people going the distance. Xiang Yun and Edmund Tan are also a long time in the business.

For the record, Best actor went to Chen Hanwei and Best Actress went to Huang Biren. I think both are deserving winners.

Competition this year is tough and I would foresee a streamlining of MC soon. If it were not for artistes' non-continuance of contracts, it would be MC's non-renewal. Wth competition, there'll be winners and losers. While the audience ends up the biggest winners, I hope we do learn to reward those who have worked hard but had no luck. Case in point: Patricia Mok.

Perhaps now that the size of competition has grown, it might be better to go for 15 MPAA for males and females instead of just 10? More people need recognition and the additional push. After all, we are big enough to love 10 more artistes.

Minimum $2

Minimum $2

Went to Alexandra Market/Food Centre for dinner after returning from Malacca.

Meals in Malacca were rather good but were also quite meat heavy. We even had KFC at Gelang Petah for tea before we returned to Singapore. [Gelang Petah is the last stop on the North South Highway before you clear the Malaysian Customs on Johor's west side and thereafter Singapore Customs at Tuas. This route is affectionately called the Second Link by both countries and it costs a bomb to travel via this route. However, the relatively lighter traffic (due to costs!) made it worthwhile.]

So decided to have rice with 2 vegetable dishes. Went up to the mixed rice stall (MISNOMER: It is actually a stall selling a variety of cooked food which you pick to go with rice. The stallholder places the rice on a plate and the food beside/on the rice) and chose kailan (kale) in oyster sauce and fried cabbage.

After the stallholder picked out the two dishes, I told her I'll just have that and wanted to pay.

She looked at me, "Minimum $2 ah." And she expected me to pay $2 for that plate of stuff that costs less than $2. I said, "$2? Let me see."

Tried to find another non-meat dish but wasn't interested in having the third vegetable. So I said, "Just add kailan to my rice till I hit $2."

I'm not a cheapskate but the principle is, if you are going to charge me $2, then serve me $2 worth. Just add on the kailan/cabbage when I say that's all I'm having.

Commonsense isn't that common after all.

Hardly 5*

Hardly 5*

Stayed in the Equitorial Hotel in Malacca over the weekend. Spent Saturday night in Room 1003.

The hotel was already quite old and yet it claimed it is a 5* hotel. I wonder when the last star audit was done.

The room was reasonable but faces the setting sun. The folks didn't even think that cooling the room prior to the guests' arrival was necessary. We entered a furnace when we walked into the room. Took a while for the airconditioner to cool the place down.

The mini bar was empty, the room safe was locked, the integrated control box at the head of the bed doesn't work fully. Took the hotel some time to come over to open the safe. But at least it was usable after that.

Those aside, what I really really really could not tolerate was the pillows, which stank of rancid hair oil. You know the smell that comes out of unwashed oily hair which has turned bad? Yucks.

But in the end, I was too tired to care. I had driven almost 8 hours and all I managed to do was to drop off and drift off to a deep sleep...

The National Football Team

The National Football Team

This is a contentious post. People will either agree or disagree with me. But I think I should be allowed to post my thoughts.

Singapore should just keep a demonstration football team. No need to send for competitions or this or that. No need to even train. Then soccer aficiandoes who have the money to spend can be sold places on the national team, don national colours, wear the national team jerseys, and behave like the champions of the world. This is possibly the only way we can ensure that we can crow "We are the Champions" every year or at every tournament. Demonstration Category, of course.

Apparently, keeping a demo team is no big deal. Small money, even, if I would say. You know, sources have it that in order that the Bruneian flag is kept afloat, Brunei is willing to dump as much money as it is required to keep the Royal Brunei Airlines in the air. See? If Brunei can do it so well, maybe we can try.

We can't seem to win no matter how hard we tried, so give up. Forget it. In the past, we blamed it on diet and poor standards of living - players on a diet of ikan bilis can never take on the big fish. Ah, never mind. Our lads were called scrawny, small, undernourished, what!?

Then we had those "kayu" footballers who couldn't study. If this was not the case, then soccer had had a rather bad reputation of the sport of the less academically inclined. Look at how they throw possession to the opponents and you wonder if their heads and the ball had been swapped. But it's really not the players fault, I suppose. Perhaps it's just bad luck that the opposing members were able to place themselves in the right place at the right time to intercept all our passes.

So, we've blamed food, and we've tried to blame the smarter opponents.

What's the solution? Well, foreign imports.

After Singapore won the Malaysia Cup aeons ago, we left the Malaysian League and started S-league. S-league has been licking its wounds for a long time, from substandard play, substandard players, low attendance, match throwing, match fixing... You name it. Recently, we've begun to aggressively import more and more foreign talented footballers. We are hoping to see more of the likes of Abas Saad, Alairstair Edwards, Jang Jung (and that's all I remember).

However, despite their possibly better diet, better intelligence, better genes (I think), we've won Tiger Cup this year and flopped out of the SEA games. We didn't even make it to the semis.

What's the problem? Simple. They were not hungry enough.

If the next meal on their family's table is dependent on the outcome of the match, you bet our guys will go out and win every single match, if it's the last thing they'll ever do. But they're NOT hungry enough. Maybe we have got too good pay and renumeration packages for them already.

Honestly, forget soccer. You keep a team of 22 men (hey, you need to keep your own opposition too! Otherwise, how to practice?) to chase after a ball. Jocelin Yeo alone has grabbed 38 gold medals already. Pat Chan alone grabbed 39 during her time. A gold is a gold is a gold. A person who brings in the gold counts more that a whole team that cannot even qualify.

Even gymnastics got their act together. And bodybuilding cleaned up. What is soccer waiting for? It ain't a pretty sight seeing a group of grown men going to SEA Games again and again and again and not winning anything.

Come on, face it, if it is not about winning, then it's even less useful to send the team. If we could have cultivated another Jocelin, another James, another Li Jiawei, another Lee Weng Yew... we'll have a good haul each time around.

It's time to bite the bullet and look at ourselves again. Maybe we should change our lion mascot to that of a stock. At least when people laugh at us, we can laugh along.

How? The demo team idea does not seem so bad now, right? Maybe can go World Cup 2012 as a demo team. Like that sure can qualify. Just convince FIFA to accept us lah!

Phone Sex Using The Loudspeaker

Phone Sex Using The Loudspeaker

After lunch on Monday, I was walking back to my office with a colleague and when I passed the private school campus which is occupying the annex block of my building I work in, my colleague and I heard this disgusting exchange.

As we walked out of the lift to the exit of the annex block to get to the main building where we worked, we finally saw this woman sitting on the carpetted floor outside the classrooms FLIRTING with her boyfriend over the loudspeaker mode of her phone.

She was unabashed about making those intimate sounds that one would hear in the bedroom. Never mind that, she was coquettish and whiny, and what's most unbelievable that she was OBLIVIOUS to the world around her.

We were disgusted to high heavens. We've never seen a SLUT as such.

GEPers

GEPers

Eh, what's wrong with Singaporeans ah? People smart people's business. You all jealous is it?

Why you all think that these GEPers strange, then why not think about your own actions? Are you all so bloody interested to mix with these geniuses meh? Don't bluff me lah. Deep inside you, you are just blardy jealous that these people are smart - morons like you all hor, better stay far far away from them, lest they confirm your stupidity.

You know ah, everyone knows light travels faster than sound. If you are not in GEP, then you better don't talk too much about them. I also not a GEPer, so I know very well that they are plain smart. What's wrong with that? Talk so much, no wonder people say "It must be because light travels faster than sound that you look smart until you open your mouth". You know hor, don't know so much, don't mimic what people say.

You know the meaning of mimic or not? Imitate, parrot, geddit? No? Teruk, like that also dun know, then how can clitisize others?

The GEPers are well and fine. They are good and they have their own lives. You people out there are just a bunch of trouble inciters. The ESN people, you all look down. Huh? You dunno what's ESN? ESN means educationally sub-normal. Then the GEPers who are damned smart, out of spite you people try to rhyme GEPers with lepers. I think your brains are really sick. You think you can do the reverse "see others' no up" with the GEPers is it? Don't try lah. They don't even bother.

You know why they don't bother what the world thinks about them? Because they don't need to. They are brilliant. They are like Bill Gates, for example. Bill has too many bills to spend; GEPers have too much knowledge to apply. What you have? Only a big mouth? Eeee... you forgot to rinse your mouth this morning is it?

Tell you lah, live and let live. If Singapore doesn't have these GEPers, we would soon be dead. In any society, we need to have a spread of people at all levels. Only then will the society succeed. That's why we should celebrate diversity and not be fearful of them. So simple also cannot understand.

Maybe that's why you are not in GEP lah.

Hairy Sow

Hairy Sow

Sunday, 26 Nov 05
Bedok Interchange

There was a fat sow in front of me in the bus 38 queue. She was quite young but she was so rotund that her knees are on the verge of giving out under her weight.

Never mind her physical looks. It's ok to be ugly, but it's not ok to come out and scare others.

So there she stood in front of me in the queue playing with her badly damaged hair. That head of long, scraggly hair. And she keeps running her fingers through her hair and each time, she managed dislodge some. And then she twirled them round her fingers and snapped them. After that, she let them drop to the ground.

There was a slight breeze and I really dread letting the sow's hair fly into my face. You cannot imagine the discomfort I felt.

She did the same on the bus, but fortunately, I was seated far away from her. So inconsiderate and so unhygienic. Wonder if she's retarded.

Lunch at Maxwell 2

An Open Letter

[At this rate I am going, I'll soon be able to compile a bitchy "Lunch at Maxwell" series.]

Dear Old Man In The White Shirt,

From your looks and action, I am very appalled by what you had done. In the Maxwell Road Food Centre, there are two automated washing basins. These were added to raise the hygiene levels during the time Singapore was ravaged by SARS.

You left your stuff on the table near the sink and then proceeded to the sinks. There is something I could not understand: Why did you spit in ONE basin and leave your sputum there and then you proceed to wash your hands in THE OTHER basin?

People like you ought to have died of SARS the last time it struck! Do you not know how disgusting and pathogenic it is to leave your phlegm there, stuck at the bottom of the basin, without washing it away with water?

I think I should not write any further because you won't understand what is written here anyway. You probably would only understand the 8 word Hokkien expletive, 6 word Cantonese expletive, 3 word Hokkien expletive, 1 word Cantonese expletive, 2 word Hakka expletive, 1 word Hokkien expletive... Oh, in general, you'll only understand expletives.

But the English one will probably be lost on you.

Here's wishing you all the best - May the discharge of a thousand runny noses enter your lungs.

The Rain in Spain...

The Rain in Spain...

Thought this was a nice joke to share.

As the airliner was preparing to land in Madrid in a rainstorm, an English passenger seemed noticeably afraid. "What's the problem, fellow?" asked his seat mate.

"Surely," said the Englishman, "you've heard the saying, 'The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rains!!'"

Was at the doc yesterday and met a couple whom I've travelled with on some holidays. They'd just returned from Jordan and Israel. They had to stay in the hotel that was bombed.

The hotel (I think it's the Radisson) was bombed on 9 Nov and they had to stay in it on 10 Nov. The place was a mess, the police were on high alert and every passing vehicle was stopped and checked. They had not faced much hassles on their road trips as they were Chinese.

However, the wailing outside the Radisson and the nightly virgils and heartrending screams got the better of them. For three nights, they had to endure the loud, often unbearable outbursts.

They knew the terrorism threat was near, and they knew they were in places where the terrorism threat is bad. But they had never expected to be so close to the threat, much less see the aftermath of the unnecessary tragedy.

When will the insurgents wake up? I don't know.

I recall the last I had seen something close to the aftermath of an attack was in Bali Dec 02. I went past Kuta where the bomb went off and looked around. No blood, nothing. Just some jagged concrete. Nothing striking or breath-stopping. It's just another day.

A futurist I met recently said that terrorists are like drunkards or alcoholics. Every country has them. I must say that such a comment, while true, may dilute the message that we must remain vigilant at all times.

To be a little cliche, I must echo the advertisement message "Don't let terrorism change our way of life". We just have to be more sensitive and aware of our surroundings.

Bird Flu

Bird Flu

What's there to fear about Bird Flu? Most Singaporeans suffer from bird flu when they go up north anyway.

And wherever there is a sale, Singaporeans get bird flu too.

What you pay...

What you pay...

The adage "What you pay is what you get" is very true.

Makes me remember a saying: In life, you can only get two of the three qualities in anything - cheap, fast, and good.

If it's cheap and fast, it ain't going to be good.
If it's cheap and good, it ain't going to be fast.
If it's fast and good, it ain't going to be cheap.

Let me quote you some experience.

I bought a metal frame bed and it was dirt cheap. Less than $100. But soon, the metal bars were bent. Well, there you go. It's cheap and fast - you could even erect that darn thing yourself, but it ain't good. The same goes for the Ichiban DVD player I bought - cheap and fast, but it's hardly 8 months and it's dead. Keeps spitting out the darned discs. No wonder the name, which sounds similar to the chinese phrase "shift together" (yi4 qi3 ban1) tries to assure you that you would be able to shift that along with you to your next nest. Duh! Of course, in Japanese, ichiban means best (or something like that!).

I bought a made in Singapore electric flask. It's cheap, it's good (so far so good) but it takes an eternity to boil up a flask of water. There you go.

I bought Marks and Spencer shirts and those cost a bomb in Singapore. But when it comes to ironing them, it's so fast and easy!

Moral of the story: I'm going to get my sister, who is going on the Sri Lanka trip that I had gone on last year, to help me stock up on more M&S shirts. These shirts are made in Sri Lanka and they retail at 40% of Singapore's price over there.

This is going to be my bid to finally get something cheap, fast and good. Of course, if you factor in the air ticket to FLY to Sri Lanka, it ain't going to be that cheap...

Blister Blister

Blister Blister

Wore the pair of shoes I bought from Sri Lanka last year for the first time yesterday. Today I wore it again. I now have a bleeding blister on my left heel and the shoe cuts right into the plaster even.

I wonder how the supermodels can wear pair after pair of new shoes to walk on the runway.

I mean, yeah, I know you've got to have really thick skin to be a supermodel. You have to be oblivious to the snide and catty remarks that people pass in your face or the biting and backstabbing behind your back. Maybe those who can parade shoes really can endure the pain.

I still vividly recall the last time I tried a pair of contact lenses and the tears flushed the lens out of my eyes. The optician attending to me told me, "Aiyoh, you not vain enough lah! You know some girls (no offence intended, but this exactly what SHE told me) are so vain, they'll force those lenses in and hold it against their eyes to get the thing to be inside, if that's the last thing they'll ever do."

Flabbergasted as I was, I disavowed contact lenses since then. "Maybe when you are vain enough, you can come back again...," the optician said. I can't believe that almost 10 years later, these words are still so fresh in my memory.

I guess I can draw two simple conclusions from here. First, I've a low pain threshold. Second, I'm no vainpot.

Afternote: Come to think about it, once you're past 30, you're over the hill in terms of looks. Don't believe that a man past 30 can ooze charisma. No. If anything oozes out of your eyes, it's probably tears of regret (regardless of marital status). If anything oozes out of your nose, it's definitely mucus. If anything oozes out of your ears, better get the ear infection checked. And if anything oozes out of your mouth, you must be having fits again (is it because of the credit card bill?).

Living Alone

Living Alone

Living alone is a life-changing experience. That also explains, to a large extent, the change in my blogging habit.

In the past, I'd just blog before I go to bed. I'm doing the same today. But the things that had happened in the past and are happening now are different.

For starters, in the past, my mum would wash up my laundry the next morning and I've never had to waste a single brain cell to worry about laundry being not done. Now, it's different. I'm too tired and lazy to wash up the clothes today. They are still being soaked in the pail with soap powder. I hope to do them tomorrow. I've really got to do them tomorrow, or I'm going to be in trouble.

I've left the laundry I've done two nights' ago drying on the poles STILL. I'm honestly too lazy to take them down. Maybe I'll do it soon, after I blog. I'm still undecided.

In the past, there would be food in the fridge. I'll make my customary fridge inspection every now and then to see if there is anything I can pop into my mouth. Now, there's ROTTING food in the fridge. I'm so averse to buying anything that does not have a decent shelf-life. Honestly, my 2 red apples, 2 pears and 2 green apples have sat in my fridge for the past fortnight. The remaining green apple is turning yellow! And that head of iceberg lettuce is turning watery. Oh, never mind me. I'll manage anyhow. My diet at home has been reduced to drinking plain water, which is good for me. My tough working condition has made it rather hard even to drink water on the job (so that I can avoid toilet breaks). I know this is bad, and I'm working at it. Whenever I remember, I pop in a bottle of water.

I've been dreading Thursday as it is toilet washing day. Never had to do it in the past. But for a guy, I'm hygienic. The toilet is reasonably clean. I'll not hesitate to put my hand in to pick up whatever I drop in accidentally, if you know what I mean.

I dread Saturday - ironing day. Enough said.

I'm really really looking for a part-time maid. Those that cost a reasonable sum of money to do up my mundane housework - cleaning, vacuuming and mopping the floor, washing the toilet, and ironing. Of course, the windows need to be cleaned once a month, she'll need to put in the bedsheets (I'll remove them and wash them in the washer, thank you), and possibly do the odd cleaning of whatever needs to be cleaned. It's a motley of simple jobs but hey! When you put them together, it ain't no easy piecey walk on the beach.

Housework sucks.

And don't get me started on the mess that I've got to contend with. The stuff are still on the floor. I should really do something about it. Before I go China, my short term task is to clean up the house.

I'll try.

Mil-Lian-naire

Mil-Lian-naire

TV Compere: "Ah Lian, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of one million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong, you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

Ah Lian: "Sure, I want to go!"

C: "Which of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it........

A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush

Remember Lian its worth 1 million dollars."

"I think I know, but not really leh! No, I dunno. I'd want to phone a friend, want to make sure."

C: "Yes, who, Ah Lian, do you want to phone?"

Ah Lian: "I'll phone my friend Ah Huey (ringing)

Ah Huey: "Hello..."

C: "Hello Ah Huey, it's the TV compere here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire - I have Ah Lian here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a millionaire. The next voice you hear will be Ah Lian's and she'll read you the question. There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Lian."

Ah Lian: "Chin cheem ahh, which one of the following birds does not build its own nest? Is it:

A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush"

Ah Huey: "Aiyah, Lian, this one easy lah! It's a Cuckoo."

Ah Lian: "You sure or not"

Ah Huey: "Belly sure."

Ah Lian: "Thanks Huey." (hangs up)

C: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the million?"

Ah Lian: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"

C: "Is that your final answer?"

Ah Lian: "It is."

C: "Are you confident?"

Ah Lian: "Yes Ah Huey very choon one."

C: "Ah Lian, you have $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo. You're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Here is your cheque. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Ah Lian." (clapping)

That night Ah Lian calls on Ah Huey and brings her to Zouk for a celebration drink. As they sip their champagne, Ah Lian turns to Ah Huey and asks "Tell me Huey, how in Tua Pek Kong's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"

Ah Huey: "You dunno meh? Everybody knows that a cuckoo lives in a clock."

Living Alone

I moved out on 2 Nov and have been living alone since.

I thought pre-move packing was a nightmare. The post-move unpacking was a nightmare an item unpacked.

The wardrobe was supposed to be huge already. Alas, it could not even store all the clothes my old wardrobe used to store.

I have more shoes than floor space to hold them and I'm not even anywhere near 0.01% of Imelda Marcos' shoe ownership numbers.

I have bookshelves which have become makeshift wardrobes. I've dumped away all my university notes.

All my new or newer books have been donated to the Salvation Army. So are some beautiful ornaments that I have no use for. I have thrown almost 5 boxes of stuff which I could not accommodate away.

The bulk of the unpacking was quick. What you can't possibly store away, you heartlessly throw away or compassionately give away. I hope people who take them home would love them like I still do (but alas!) The remaining bits and pieces are making me fall apart into as many pieces. They just don't fit anywhere.

I've cancelled the order of a new bookshelf because I think erecting wooden planks on walls to hold the remaining items are more economical and practical.

I have to set up an entirely new schedule to do up the household chores that had never needed me to do.

Basically, I need to be more innovative in my space usage. I need to break away from the traditional storage ideas and find something that works for me. And it has to be cheap.

Class Gathering

PRCS 2004 4/6 Gathering

AMENDED 27 OCT 05

Class gathering
Date: 8 Nov 05
Time: 6.30 pm
Venue: Swensen's Family Restaurant
Address: Singapore Airport Terminal 1

Nana, please be F&B rep for this round. Take attendance in comments column and book a table (or split into two tables also can) for that number of people. Thank you.

The rest: Please remind everyone of change of venue. Thank you.

____ OLD ____

I am conducting a poll for our next class gathering. We will go ahead once at least 15 people are coming together to meet.

In the comments, write your name. Then please indicate:
yes if you are interested to/able to turn up or
no if you are unable to turn up no matter what.

I'll be moving on 2 Nov 05 and so, we'll be meeting after 5 Nov 05.

Offhand, 8 Nov may be a good day to meet. As usual, we'll eat at a Muslim food establishment - need your suggestions! If there is a kind soul out there who does not mind opening up his/her place for us, we can pay your parents for the food costs to cook for us, or we can cater a little buffet. Nothing is firm yet, but given the unpredictable weather in Nov, BBQ is a huge risk. Or we could have a Swensen night out at T1, book a table and have fun there.

Do let me know. Thank you.

What you don't know...

What you don't know...

Well, I suppose what you don't know does not mean you don't have. I strained my inguinal ligament.

The feeling is really bad. The pain is unbearable. It's the most awkward to describe, I suppose. I was telling my doctor, "When the underwear is hugging a bit too tightly, the pain is unbearable because of the pressure. When the underwear is a bit loose, the pain is searing because there is no support. When I take a bath, wind makes it tender and painful, and the water makes it very painful."

Frankly, I actually thought I had hernia, because the groin felt a little swollen. Hernia would have been terrible. It means that the entire muscle has been pulled out of the socket.

When the doctor examined me, he had to eliminate appendicitis (which I also told him one of my guesses was). Somehow, the inguinal ligament and the appendix are about a finger and a half width apart. So, he was not too sure if he could rule of appendicitis immediately.

Anyhow, I told him when I walked in, "I think it's either a muscle strain, hernia, or appendicitis. But I think I can rule out the last." Well, something that exotic is new to me.

But exotic to me is common to the footballers.

So doc says no more packing. Cannot move anything by feet. Cannot even squat down and push the boxes.

But I'm really moving on 2 Nov. So, I'll just make do. Somehow, not packing does not seem a possibility after all... Sigh!

Uncertain Period

Uncertain Period

Moving on 2 Nov to my own place. The packing is killing me. So I won't be blogging much.

Work has been terribly hectic also, so I'm just glad to be able to make it alive to bed.

Tomorrow 7 am, I have a breakfast meeting. I hate these! See but can't eat. Talk shop over meals. Duh!

Not as though I cannot afford to eat good.

Dear all,

With the current petrol prices skyrocketing, Toyota has pre-emptively launched a new model to capture the market up-front. According to reliable sources, this new model does not run on petrol or diesel. It is a new technological breakthrough in engine design using only biodegradable materials and with very low maintenance.

To avoid any last minute rush or stock out, please place early booking preferably six months in advance. Please book early !!
 

Hospital Specialties' Theme Songs

Hospital Specialties' Theme Songs

Just had this evil, evil though running through my head for a good many months. I think that hospitals should have theme songs for their departments. Let me kick the ball rolling with some examples and if you have a good piece to add, put it in the comments section and I'll add to the list! You're welcome to suggest alternatives, too!

Song (Department)
You light up my life (Burns)
My heart will go on (Cardiology)
My heartstring come undone (Cardiology) - thank you Cherlyn!
Breathe (Cardio-thoracic)
I'm broken (Orthopedics)
Looking your big brown eyes (Colorectal - hemorrhoids)
Shake your bon bons (Colorectal)
Just like a pill (Psychiatry) -Thanks Quinsy
Placebo (Psychiatry)
I'm not okay (Internal medicine) - Thanks Quinsy
Breathe (Nose) - Thanks Quinsy
The sounds of silence (Ear)
Hollaback girl (Throat) - More thanks, Quinsy
Angels brought me here (Emergency) - More thanks, Quinsy
Cancer (Cancer)
My humps(Breast)
Take my breath away (Breast Cancer)
Barbie Girl (Plastic)
You raise me up (Pediatrics) - Thanks Kenny
Daddy-Long-Legs(Legs)
Beautiful eyes (Ophthalmology - Eyes)
Amazing Grace (Ophthalmology - Eyes & ENT)
You cut me like a knife (Surgery) - Thanks Ron
Addams Family TV show theme (Family)
House of Pain Anthem (Obstetrics & Gynecology)
Dead man, dead man (Pathology)
Numb (Anesthesiology)
Love song for a vampire (Hemetology)
Mack the knife (Forensic Pathology)
Morphine (Pain management/Rehabilitative)

PSLE

PSLE

Dunno what the big fuss over the PSLE is all about? The remedy is actually very simple. Explain to the parents the idea of standardization and everything will be evident.

This is how it works. In layman's terms, the scores collected from the candidates are rescaled on a scale known to Singapore Assessments and Examinations Board, but not to the outsiders. It's ok, because we don't need to know.

All we need to know is that what the candidate scores is taken RELATIVELY to the scores returned. That means, if the highest score for the math paper is 90 marks, then this 90 mark will likely be scaled to 100 marks after rescaling or moderation.

Suppose there are 30 000 candidates, and we are expecting 20% failures. So they will count from the scores returned, the lowest 6 000 scores and then the 6 001st score will likely be scaled to 50 marks. It is about WHERE the candidate's score is, not WHAT his/her score is.

Of course, turning in a better mark places the candidate higher up in the pecking order and ensures that s/he gets a better grade.

-------------------------------

Question: What happens to the candidates' grades in a difficult paper?

Answer: Simply put, nothing. Because the relative positions will be taken into account and rescaled to the Normal distribution and then, so long as you turn in the candidate's score within the first 15% (assuming top 15% gets A*), s/he get the A*. Candidates are thus get awarded the grades according to WHERE their scores lie.

-------------------------------

Question: Does it mean that if everyone who scores more than 92 marks will necessarily get an A*?

Answer: Technically, no. Not only does the paper preclude such an occurrence, even if freak results happen, there will be a scaling done. Perhaps now A* may be 98 marks. Nobody knows. So stop counting chickens or lamenting losses.

If anything at all, last year's "EXTREMELY TOUGH" science paper should have dispelled all myths. But then again, Singaporeans have extremely short memories.

-------------------------------

Question: There is a mistake in the paper. So is it fail to give everyone the two marks?

Answer: Yes and no. Yes, because the question is invalid owing to its mistake. But the generosity of SEAB is laudable. It pacified everyone without actually causing any big problems for the outcome of the grading. Remember, because it is WHERE the scores are and not WHAT the scores are, it does not matter what SEAB does, except that in this particular case, everyone's relative position moves forward by 2 marks.

No, because it would have been unfair to those who have obtained a correct answer. However, in a MCQ situation, luck also plays a part.

One good way out would be to give everyone the two marks (or none at all) and for those who got the answer correct for the question, give two bonus points. This is only fair, in my humble opinion.

-------------------------------

Question: Is the full mark for PSLE 300?

Answer: Not likely. Ask SEAB if they would divulge but then again, it does not matter what the full mark is. Just remember when candidates are assigned secondary schools, it is again where his/her mark stands with respect to the other applicants'. What s/he scores is important, but more important is whether the scored obtained is at the front of the admission queue or at the back.

-------------------------------

Good luck and stop being so freaking kiasu! Marks are not everything. Like I always say, if you are good, you are good.

The DOCTOR is IN

The DOCTOR is IN


HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?

Take a nap.

---------------------------------



Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies.. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

---------------------------------



Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

---------------------------------



Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

---------------------------------



Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good !

---------------------------------



Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.

In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

---------------------------------



Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

---------------------------------



Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

---------------------------------



Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

---------------------------------



Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

How to be a Successful Evil Overlord

How to be a Successful Evil Overlord

I found this at Mr Brown's blog. I've heard his podcast too, about zhnging his car.

His podcast is original and creative and it hinges a lot on the Beng culture in Singapore. But after a while, the novelty wears off and it gets lame. But it sustained a 19 nasal minutes. Not recommended.

But the How to be a Successful Evil Overlord page was good. It had me thinking about all those movies where the bad guys finally lost because they committed one of the errors listed in the page.

I've so many favourites I don't even know where to start.

Lunch at Maxwell 1

An Open Letter

Dear Madam,

At around 1.45 pm today, you intruded into my lunch with your two children. You were the single rudest person I have ever met in Maxwell Road Food Centre to date. I have met many rude and uncouth people in that food centre that caters to both white and blue collar workers but you are about the worst.

“Can share this table?!” You yelled at me when you wanted to share my table. Have you forgotten your manners? I should not be saying this but I think I would really be interested to know if you managed to learn any from anyone at all?

Of course I can share the table but do you deserve to sit at the table? I am not able to decide but I would have expected to share my table with human beings. I’ve shared others’ tables just like others’ have shared mine. Sometimes, a courteous hand gesture and nod are enough to seal the table sharing pact.

Then you intruded into my visual field. Which kiddy gang did you belong to? I cannot even imagine that you are already a parent. When I saw you and your two children appear, I thought you were some gangster chief with your two underlings. Your hair was blond and you were dressed like a vamp. I would really want to say tramp, but I think I should respect your pride. So vamp. Your two kids are dressed quite like you but their relative youth is evident. You look much older. I must also admit that at that time, I did not know that you were a parent. It looked as though all your clothes were shared. I think you should dress your age and behave your age too but being the well-bred gentleman I am, I shall let that thought remain in my head.

Your daughter took out a packet of obviously cold food and opened it. I did have a glimpse of what she was eating when I lifted my head up from my bowl of delicious noodles. Barely did your daughter begin eating that your son came along and opened his packet of food. He was then dispatched by his sister to pick up some crockery so that they could start to eat. He managed to get some plastic spoons and forks, which your daughter deemed too tough to eat with - she wanted the metal ones. Her tone and behavior to your son were rough and uncouth. I should not be saying this but I now know even better the manifestations of inheritance, nurturing, resemblance and mimicry.

Your poor children have hardly swallowed a mouthful of rice when you came over with a can of Baron’s Strong Brew and a packet of Marlboro cigarettes. I know I really should not be stereotyping people but it is 1.50 pm in the afternoon. What kind of people would be drinking at this time of the day? I’m going to ask you if you know, with your street-smart, that it is commonplace for people to associate folks like you with alcoholics? I don’t know if you are one but certainly, a can of beer at lunch time, instead of a proper meal, makes you suspect.

You then riled at your kids. You chided them for packing food instead of eating the food off plates, like normal eat-in customers would. Your daughter felt maligned and she defended both she and her brother by saying that they were not sure when you would end (your appointment) and did not want to lose sight of you (after your appointment). What was said here is not difficult to comprehend. I should not be making it too clear but I think your children fear you. They live in fear that if they dare sit down for a proper meal and miss you in the course of their meal, you would leave them behind without a second thought.

You then tried to ask me if what kind of noodles I am eating. Frankly, my vamp, it’s none of your f**king concern. Why do you bother what I am eating? I don’t know you. But being the well-brought up gentleman I am, I explained to you that I bought it at that stall and it consists of stuff like pork balls, squid balls, fish balls and other ingredients and not that fish ball noodles that you think it is. Then you asked me how it tasted. It tasted great but with you occupying my table, the noodles are just a horrible source of my misery. If I eat, I suffer you. If I leave it behind, my wallet suffers. So I gave you an ambivalent so-so answer.

And don’t try and get chummy with me. I’ve never thought much about people like you. I know I should not be saying this, lest I be accused of being elitist. However, I don’t know how else to put it to someone as ill-bred as you, who do not know enough manners and courtesy to leave a stranger eating his meal alone. Even a dog or a cat would bite you if you try and disturb its meal. But of course, I should not blame you or be harsh with you. For all I know, anyone who attempted to teach you any manners or courtesy at all may have really been driven to their graves early. God bless their souls, for they are spared further misery from your existence.

Then you tell me you are a single parent and you start knocking your pack of Marlboro on the table. I know what you are going to do. You are going to start smoking but I know better to wait till you take out the offending cigarette before I tell you that it’s against the law to smoke in a food centre.

And take out a cigarette you did. And tell you I did.

You asked me where are there signs to say smoking is banned. I should have told you that there aren’t signs to say that smoking is allowed either. But being an educated, wise man, I decided not to engage in your pre-nursery “I-did-you-did-not kind” of argument.

I tried to reason with you that the laws have been revised on 1 Oct 05 (although a check after lunch showed that the ban is only effective Jul 06). I told you that enforcement officers or police officers can book you and fine you in excess of $200 if you are caught smoking. You challenged me to call them. And your immediate reaction was that your ex-husband works across the road; your ex-husband is a lawyer and he works across the road. You even accused me of stopping you from smoking when you are trying to be friendly to me. What flawed logic. But never mind that.

For goodness sake. If you were indeed trying to be friendly, stop trying to murder me with second hand smoke. And come on, you vamp. The fact that he’s your ex-husband says a lot, doesn’t it? I don’t mean to dig at your old wounds but which man would be able to live with you? Think about it. You’re probably getting the kids’ custody because of the terribly flawed Women’s Charter in Singapore. Had the judge known the kind of person you were, perhaps the ruling would be different. I have not met your husband and so I shall refrain from comment but if he’s a lawyer, then at least he could have been some sort of a gentleman. I qualify my sentence because even Chief Justice has very recently chided lawyers for their errant ways.

I may be digressing but I guess you could have just gone up to argue with your ex-husband over something. After all, a divorcee with brains and dignity would not be so ready to tell others that her ex-husband is in the vicinity and what’s more, she has her children in tow.

So I took out my hand phone and wanted to call the police. Your children begged me to let you off. I recall the fear in your daughter’s face as she mouthed the words, “Please Sir! Don't! She’s like that. Mum, don’t smoke! Don’t smoke!” DON’T smoke…” Your son was not any different from his sister in trying to keep you out of trouble.

Correct me if I am wrong again, but it seems like folks like you like nothing more than a quarrel. But what is the price of the quarrel? I won’t quarrel with you. You are way beneath me.

So I told you that you should be very happy to have brought up children like these for they have good upbringing. You defiantly claimed that you are proud of your children. I am sure you are.

I wish to ask you, Madam, two things. One, why are your kids not in school? Two, if today is a school holiday, then the education system is doing something right because it has nurtured two beings to become significantly different from their life giver.

Alas, the insult was, expectedly, lost on you. In case you have not figured out yet, I am trying to tell you that your behavior, your EQ and your IQ are lower than that of your younger offspring’s. But no surprise. If your ex-husband is really a lawyer, your children must have had a good chance to inherit good genes. Fortunately for us, I think they did.

I think the true meaning of the last paragraph would be lost on you again, Madam, but no harm.

I tried to placate you by telling you to think of your children, to think of the waste of being fined. I tried telling you how smoking killed my grandmother. Before I could begin my sharing, you quickly said that there was another table behind us, you wanted to move over. Fine by me. And so you commanded your children to move. Their reluctant faces said it all.

It was not difficult to hear a ranting vamp even though there is a general din at the food centre. Your high pitched shriek was loud and boisterous. You have been scolding your kids and taking it out on them. Your daughter was almost in tears when she came and picked up the drinks that she did not manage to carry over initially.

Spoiling my lunch is a small thing, but publicly showing your kids how unworthy you are as a parent once and yet again will increase their resentment of you. Mark my words. If you don’t die of some smoking-related illness fast, your kids will leave you once they are old enough to fend for themselves.

Perhaps when you have ex-children, in addition to your ex-husband, and you are lying on your death bed wheezing due to emphysema – I should not be using such tough words – trying very hard to catch your breath because your lung is no longer working properly, maybe you would realize the folly of your ways.

The sad thing then would be that it would already be too late. Think about it.

[This letter is about Primary 6 standard. I hope you, Madam, will be able to understand it.]

Singaporeans' Gullibility and Show-Off Tendencies

Singaporeans' Gullibility and Show-Off Tendencies

Suddenly, Prof Lee Wei Ling became my idol. I have never been a fan of hers. But her article last Saturday had me leaping for joy.

So I had been right all along to insist that the surgery to separate the Simamese twins joined at the head was a case of medical buffoonery. We have used human guinea pigs to show the world that we are at the leading frontier of medicine. This operation is gravely flawed. Nothing of this sort should have been allowed.

Existence of quality is an obligatory function of life. Being alive yet being no different from being dead is no excuse to be living. The vegetative state of being is a burden to the people alive and a drain on precious resources. The late Pope John Paul II knew that. When he had a relapse, he did not want to be re-admitted to the hospital. But Terri Shiavo's family didn't and wanted her life extended for as long as the machines can keep her body "functioning". (See 02 and 03 Apr entries in the archives.)

A pair of Iranian twins came to Singapore to be separated too a couple of years back. They were grown women. One was a lawyer and another was a journalist, professions by training. Their ops failed but they had their dreams fulfilled. They hoped that if they had to die, they would be lying in different coffins. So they laid in different boxes.

But I digress.

Prof Lee's letter drew a flurry of backlashes and protests, as expected. This is not surprising, considering the generally depressed social and medical IQ and EQ levels of Singaporeans. Contrasting that with the need to show-off, the existence of disagreements has become a contrite consequence.

Here are a few reasons why Singaporeans are sore about being called gullible.

1. No giver wants to be told that what s/he gives is for the wrong cause.

2. No giver wants to be told that his or her giving does not form part of the solution to the problem at hand.

3. Many givers belive they are truly altruistic (even if they live in hope that when they give, somehow their stars will shine and they get profiled in the news as one of the "generous and caring" Singaporeans).

4. No giver wants to believe that the people they helped are actually needy victims of their own unquenchable desire.

Singaporeans have a short memory. It seems like the NKF fiasco was some event in the Jurassic age now. No one remembers anything. When you give, you let the people, to whom you entrust the money, use the money justly. In this case, the money was abused and yet no one raised an eyebrow.

Where are the reporters to blow the whistle and start name-calling? Imagine the twins' parents are actually coming here to get more sympathy money! That alone would have shown Singaporeans how rapacious the parents have become after the initial episode.

Why did they REFUSE equally good treatment in Kathmandu? SGH will fly the surgeons over! What's wrong with getting treatment in Kathmandu? Answer? Because they want to come here to get more sympathy money.

Why can't the surgery be done at SGH? Why must they do it at East Shore Hospital? I have no answers here. Actually, I do have conjectures which I cannot state freely.

Why do the parents feel that Singaporeans will give them more sympathy money? Is it because they know how gullible Singaporeans are?

I think the trust did a great job to refuse to pay for Botox and physiotherapy treatments. If the twins had been given aggressive physiotherapy in Kathmandu, then there is no need for such drastic measures in Singapore. Or is it just to while time away because Gunga had to heal after her shunt operation? No one knows and I am not going to speculate.

I will just say that there are many questions yet to be asked, even more answers to be provided. I am not exactly pleased with this episode.

Huang Na's case is a really a great case to showcase the Singaporean show-off tendency. How many of you out there actually know that she was placed in a gold plated casket? Ah, now you remember! I cannot imagine the lavishness of actually putting a murdered girl in a gold plated coffin. For what? For advertising? I don't know.

Based on Prof Lee's lament, the money that has been given to Huang Na's mum was probably enough for her to live rather well in China. What say you, my readers?

Really, Singaporeans need to reflect on their actions. Is generosity always good? Must we respond to every event?

Ethics are important considerations. What are some measures we can put in place to prevent more of such fiascoes? I recall when people get old and very sick, hospitals tend to advise the next-of-kins of the futility of treatment. Instead, they would recommend palliative care for the aged sick to live out their remaining days in some comfort. Why is this not done for the Nepalese twins?

I recall my grandmother in her last days was so reliant on the morphine cocktail that we had her admitted to hospital to wean her off the drug. She was in genuine pain but we all thought she was feigning it because of the addiction. Medical science failed to diagnose her illness. Even to her death, her cause of death was "suspected cancer of the spleen". When she finally collapsed, she was rushed to CGH and placed in the ICU. At that time, the prognosis was bad. She was bleeding internally and due to the suspected cancer, there is a blood clot in her lung. So the doctor said that only SGH could manage. So in the night, I sped behind the CGH ambulance that brought her to the cardio-thorarcic ICU in SGH. The doctors there were good but nothing could help. If we let her be, the blood clot in the lung would kill her. If we opted to operate, the internal bleeding and the suspected cancer would do her in. It was a Catch-22.

A couple of days later, she sobered up and said she wanted to go home (to die). We arranged for the ambulance, the mobile oxygen tanks, and also made arrangements for the nurse from the Singapore Cancer Society to do daily palliative care home visits. We reached home and in less than 2 days, she left. We had hardly finished the first cylinder of oxygen.

Why spend money doing things like separating siamese twins who were at the onset better off dead? Why not spend money to upgrade skills in diagnosing illnesses better? After my grandmother, there are many other people I know who died of "suspected spleen cancer". Medical science has stopped progressing? Or have we dedicated our energies elsewhere?

Who polices medical ethics? Someone should have stepped out or a medical board should have been convened to provide a professional judgement of the feasibility of such an operation! I think I recall the original team of surgeons did convey the risks. I am not too sure now. But I think we must go further than this. We should have a ethics board who can actually veto the operation altogether.

Similarly, even if Singaporeans wish to donate to any cause they deem worthy, do we actually want to have a ethics committee to actually give a weighed judgement and/or objective facts? This is an interesting point because one of Prof Lee's critics mentioned in his/her mail that Prof Lee had privy knowledge to the insides of the entire case, which we don't. So would this make an ethics committee an attractive suggestion?

I really do not know. But what I know is, I am glad I did not give the Nepalese twins a single cent. I know if I did, I would be contributing to their misery. And Huang Na? Nah...

Nepalese twins: A tale of misplaced sympathy

Nepalese twins: A tale of misplaced sympathy

The Straits Times, 8 Oct 05
Assoc Prof Lee Wei Ling
Director and Senior Consultant
National Neuroscience Institute

I am writing in response to the report on the Nepalese twins (“Wrangle over Nepalese twins’ hospital bill”; ST, Oct 6).

I had previously written to ST Forum stating that their technically successful operation was a medical mistake. But having made a mistake, the Singapore General Hospital (SGH) did not abandon them and, in fact, tried its best to help, given the circumstances.

When the twins retuned to Kathmandu after their surgery in November 2001, SGH continued their follow-up treatment, jointly with local doctors. In 2002, the SGH doctors went there to plan their follow-up management in Nepal with the local neurosurgeon.

Between 2002 and this year, SGH’s team of Dr Chumpon Chan (neurosurgeon), Dr Vincent Yeow (reconstructive plastic surgeon) and physiotherapists made a few trips, at SGH’s own expense, to assess and plan further treatment.

The consensus with the local neurosurgeon, Dr Devkota, was that a shunt was required for Ganga, and this straightforward operation could be done safely in Kathmandu. SGH offered to fly its surgeons to assist in the operation, and to fund the cost of treatment in Kathmandu from the balance of the funds raised in Singapore. At a later stage, both twins would be brought to SGH for skull reconstruction, a complex procedure requiring a team of neurosurgeons and plastic surgeons. This was explained clearly and repeatedly to the family.

However, the mother and grandfather insisted on coming to Singapore. They refused to let the local surgeon treat the twins. The mother then approached Dr Keith Goh, who agreed to bring Ganga to Singapore for treatment at East Shore Hospital.

After my previous letter to ST Forum, I received a letter from ms Angella Cheng, who is very close to the twins’ family and was their guardian when they were in Singapore. She wrote, and I just confirmed again over the telephone with her, that the twins’ parents’ motive for coming to Singapore is to get more sympathy money, which they have actually got while in East Shore Hospital this visit.

The parents even approached the Gurkha contingent in Singapore again but were turned down this time because the contingent had already donated to the twins on the first occasion.

SGH was subsequently approached by East Shore Hospital for funding from the balance of the funds when the twins arrived here. In consultation with the Nepalese Consul-General here, Mr Swami (who is also a member of the trustees of the fund), SGH informed East Shore Hospital that it would reimburse it based on the cost if the twins had been treated at SGH.

When East Shore Hospital submitted its claim for reimbursement following their treatment, the trustees (with the Nepalese Consul-General present) went through the bill. Only a shunt operation was done for Ganga. SGH then reverted to East Shore Hospital with SGH’s estimated bill size and reimbursed it accordingly.

As for claims of Botox and intensive physiotherapy for Jamuna, I have no confirmation as to whether it was indeed carried out, but, even if it was, for any improvement to be possible it has to be a long-term treatment that needs to be continued in Kathmandu.

Obviously, this short-term intensive and expensive therapy will have little permanent effect on her leg deformity or ability to walk and is not justified.

As a bystander and a Singaporean, I watch this saga unfold with sadness and disappointment. I feel very sorry for the twins who will never have a normal life – perhaps less sorry for Ganga, who is a vegetable with no awareness of her own suffering, and more so for Jamuna, who has enough comprehension to know what suffering is.

I am disappointed with my fellow Singaporeans’ gullibility. Some of you may remember the Indonesian baby with grossly swollen head who landed on our shores not long ago after the technically successful separation of the Nepalese twins.

Public sympathy again produced enough funds for a palliative operation to be done. Last seen at age 2½ years, the baby was severely disabled, mentally and physically.

Then there was the saga of the Yishun siblings who had an operation for deep-brain stimulation done in Taiwan at tremendous cost, again paid for by the Singapore public. They could have been treated in SGH or the National Neuroscience Institute at a fraction of the cost.

The operation was claimed in the press to be a miraculous success, and the siblings were shown walking with assistance. Now they are no longer able to walk, not even with assistance.

I cannot resist one last story which illustrates both the propensity of the press to sensationalize and the gullibility of Singaporeans.

When the story of Huang Na’s murder hit the papers, many people donated money to the girl’s mother, with the total sum enough to cover many subsidized patients’ hospital bills or provide bursaries for many, many poor students.

But what good is that money to Huang Na who has died?

Good jokes for adults

Good jokes for adults

I dedicate these to Old Whig and "Therapy Sessions". They have equally bent minds, from what I read in their blogs. Enjoy!

# 1
Husband climbs on the bed naked.
Wife: I have a headache.
Husband: Good! I have powdered it with aspirin. U want to take it orally or as an injection.

# 2
Three fastest means of communication:
1. Telephone
2. Television
3. Tell-a-woman

# 3
One day, DUREX complained to KOTEX: " Every time u work, I gotta 7 days off!"
KOTEX retorted: "Whenever u make a mistake during work, I gotta take 9 months leave".

# 4
A man called his 4th wife - Baby doll,
3rd wife - China doll,
2nd wife - Barbie doll &
1st wife - Guess What ?
- Panadol

# 5
Man admiring his naked body in the mirror says to wife:
"Look at that 75 kg of pure dynamite".
Wife replies: "It is a shame though about the 2 inches fuse".

# 6
Friends are like underwear, always near you.
Good friends are like condoms, always protecting you.
Best friends are like Viagra, lift you up when you are down.

# 7
Man tell MP:
My son's a drug addict, my daughter's a prostitute, and my wife's a gambler.
MP: Isn't there anything positive in your family?
Man: Yes, I am HIV positive.

# 8
What is common between a wife and a private swimming pool??
Answer: The cost of maintenance is too high compared to the time you spend inside them!!!

# 9
Naked girl boarded a taxi. Driver stared.
Girl scolded him, "Never seen a naked girl before?
Driver replied "Yes! Seen many before but wondering where you keep your money to pay taxi fare."

Pakistan Quake

Is it so hard to live together?

Forcibly divided by man
Compellingly reunited by nature
Incendiary flames brightened the yesteryears
Darkness pervades the hearts, minds and souls

Kashmir
An area in southwestern Asia whose sovereignty is disputed between Pakistan and India
Kashmir
Sanskrit name for a girl
Kashmir
A Paradise turned into Hell by Terrorists
Kashmir
Paradise lost

"We are Kashmiris!"
Strong nationalistic pride
Transcends the claims of both sides
Custody being fought in (law) courts and (war) theatres
Yet should not the land rightfully belong to the people living on it?

A devastating catastrophe
A chilly divorce that brought the two estranged lands closer together
In sadness, sorrow and loss
does it now matter if they are mine or yours?
A generation wagered and unexpectedly lost

We go by but don't expect us to go at it together
The rifts in the hearts are too narrow to let pass
in the open are too deep to mend
The world sees and helplessly twists its hands

Some hands appear to clear the rubble
Food that fills the stomach for now
Some cold comfort from the tents
But hands go and then, what grows?

Then the land settles
The growing mass graves
The never-ending sorrow of being together, yet apart
When can we let Kashmir be one
Be alone and free?
When will the day be?
Will it ever come?

No one ever knows, I guess
Kashmir is weary and needs some rest
In quiet solitude perhaps the best medicine
Is deep reflection of a tumultous past

Memories rust but the tongues still speak
"Kashmir is mine, not yours..." they shriek
In the face of disaster now
Whose?

We will we will...

We will we will...

Rock You I

Bali got blasted by terrorists again.

Rock You II

Bloggers jailed.

Rock you III

South Asia Earthquake.

It's not your fault that you're born ugly

It's not your fault that you're born ugly

There is this Chinese Blogger by the name of Furong Jiejie (Furong = Hibiscus, Jiejie = Sister). Saw her blog when I was reading Mr Brown's blog. There was this link to a song called Furong Jiefu (Sister Hibiscus' Husband) by a blogger of the same moniker.

After watching the flash, I decided to take a look at Sister Hibiscus' blog.

I guess it's best for those who are proficient in the Chinese Language to see for themselves. The rest can really opt not to know about the contents, except that the accompanying graphics for the song is a good summary of Hibiscus.

My main takeaway from the entire episode? The wonderful insult hurled at Hibiscus:

It's not your fault that you're born ugly. But coming out to scare others, that's not right.

Bali Blasts

Bali Blasts

Been some time that I blogged seriously. I just got too busy and too caught up with work to blog. During my little hiatus, Bali got bombed again.

Recall after that 2002 blast that rocked Bali, I visited it in Dec. Just a few months after the bomb. Even went to Kuta, and the site of the bomb blast. It was a disappointing sight. Nothing big deal.

What was I feeling then?

What was I supposed to feel?

We are all prisoners of our own device...

The Eagles have aptly summarised everything in one neat line in Hotel California.

I just went past the blast site and went, "Eh? So clean ah? No blood stains...?" Human nature? Inhuman nature? Who can tell?

In the face of irrationality, what is rational? Just ask the survivors and the plunderers of Hurricane Katrine.

I still recall after the Bali Blast 3 years ago, when I was in Bali, many of us were trying to get a good bargain when shopping. When we bargained, the vendors actually said, "Fuck you!" My friends and I walked away and felt two things.

One, the pride of this community is amazing. Two, someone's coming to fuck you again.

True enough, it happened in 2005.

I hope Bali can pick itself up again. I know it can. Singapore Airlines has said that they will not cease flights into Denpasar (Bali).

We are toughening up against irrational terrorists attack. And it seems like we have understood, finally, that in this long pursuit to eradicate terrorism, collateral damage is inevitable. (And if I might add for all my wonderful readers out there, as long as it's not in my backyard.)

How evil?

Wonder if you have ever ...

walked past a plump, slutty little girl and have the uncontrollable urge to call her a fat pig?

walked past a coquettish little slut and have the uncontrollable urge to slap her bloody cheeks?

heard the persistent, high-pitched attention-seeking cries of a little child and wish you could have shoved your socks (or whatever you desire) into the brat's mouth to shut it up?

wished you could just stand in the way of a meandering boy whose attention is in whatever he is doing and not on the road ahead, and then let him slam into your thighs and fall backwards?

desired to walk into little kids dashing all about at the shopping malls and send them flying?

felt that some kids were better off aborted than given birth to?

thought that some couples ought never to have become parents?

thought that some people ought to have been sterilised at birth?

Molest

Molest

Read Chua Mui Hoong's column in the Sunday Times today. She narrated her brush with a molester, who grabbed her breasts when she moved over to collect some monies when working as a cashier. The molester eventually went scot free.

I'm very furious after reading it. It's not right to molest someone, anyone. It's a crime and should be punished. Although it's a less culpable crime as compared to rape, a molester causes his or her victim to feel threatened, even in a safe environment. This is not right and should never be condoned.

If we punish people fondling or pleasuring himself or herself in public, which DOES NOT cause any harm to a third party at all, then we should seriously consider punishing molesters severely.

We don't have to jail them but perhaps we can start by caning them? Or administering instant electric shocks in hospitals after they are caught and found guilty. Something quick and effective must be done.

James Bond's Revenge

Pretty Woman's Husband's Revenge

Act 1 Scene 1

Little girl sees dove flies across the sky. She remembers that her brother is going away.

Act 1 Scene 2

Little girl runs like mad to release some birds. On the way, she knocked over a hawker who's oranges fell all over.

Hawker: Aiyoyoh! Vai you knock my oranges all over, deh?

Little girl glances back and pretends not to understand.

Act 1 Scene 3

Little girl knocks over bamboos. Luckily this time, the bamboo hawker was not around or the credit card company will have to pay an additional few million dollars in advertising time.

Act 2 Scene 1

Little girl knocks into Pretty Woman's Husband, who's travelling with his guide. Little girl pretends that she's innocent and stopped by the bird hawker.

Pretty Woman's Husband (in his heart): -Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!- Blind ah!?

Of course, being so famous, must keep that smile on the face and act cool.

Girl: Five birds. My brother is going away today and I want to bring him good luck.

Little girl passes the money to Bird Hawker. Bird Hawker looks at the money he received.

Bird Hawker: You only have enough for one bird. (Ok, don't think dirty here!)

Girl (shaking her head): Ok.

Little girl grabs a cage with a dove inside and ran.

Act 3

Pretty Woman's Husband looks at Little girl running off and a brilliant idea comes to his mind. Taking out his wonderful credit card, he passes it to the bird hawker and winks. The bird hawker nods knowingly.

Act 4

Pretty Woman's Husband and bird hawkers brought cages and cages of birds and arrive by the sea side. They release the birds.

Pretty Woman's Husband (in his heart): -Beep!- You knock into me and still so yah yah papaya. -Beep! Beep! Beep!- What the -Beep! Beep!- Watch out ah! I bet all my birds on your bird that your wish will not come true.

[A friend provided an alternative, which is a pun on some credit cards which are meant only for the fairer sex.

Pretty Woman's Husband: The bitch do(es)n't get it.]

As though there is telepathy, Little girl looks accusingly at Pretty Woman's Husband, although she tries to look innocent at the same time.

Pretty Woman's Husband immediately shrugs his sholder and the hawkers shake their heads.

THE END

Mid Autumn Festival

Mid Autumn Festival

Sunday was MAF. Wonder who ate mooncakes, who ate pomeloes, who carried laterns and strolled in the gardens.

MAF was meant to be a day where the family comes together. Quite similar to a second reunion for the family, the first being the eve of Chinese New Year.

A modern population means that more and more of such traditions and customs are getting forgotten. Need to think about how to preserve our culture and traditions.

Tea Jelly

Tea Jelly

Bought the jelly powder on my way home. Impulse buy. Was actually buying butter for making bread as I've run out of butter.

Came home with ever intention of making jelly using my special brew of Chinese tea.

And mum had to just throw away the tea leaves. She probably felt they were too long on the shelves and decided to get rid of them between the last time I saw them and the last time I thought I saw them (and therefore assumed they were still around).

Scoured the house. Found a packet of leaves. Tasted like Japanese green tea. Would've been great but what if they turned out to be seaweed instead?

Heck. Just use the remainder English tea leaves from god knows where. Took 40 grams of tea, infused them in hot water, add the konjac jelly powder, bring to a boil, VOILA. Tea jelly.

English Garden Tea Flavour. Slight tart smelling, sweet, soft wobbly jelly. Feels like my tummy.

Chilling them now in the fridge. I'm going to make 2 people very happy tomorrow when they get my jelly.

Blind Bitch

Blind Bitch

Can't stand properly on the MRT train.

Won't hold the railings or the handles to stay stable.

Kept stepping on my foot and pretending that nothing happened.

Hope she knocks down a car when she crosses the road.

New board game

New board game

Well, someone had to do it. Someone thought of a new board game to "represent the blogging community in Singapore".

Whatever that means. I'm only interested to steer clear, stay clean and have a good time.

What does your birthday mean to you?

What does your birthday mean to you?

Was approached while waiting for someone at the Redhill MRT station today. Two guys from a particular institute's Film and Media department were filming and they asked me to do a short TV interview as to what my birthday means to me.

I was in the midst of a record breaking attempt for Nature Park in my Nokia 3120. So I politely turned them down.

So they turned to this girl from China and she requested that they interviewed her in Chinese. To the question, she replied, "My birthday is actually my mother's most painful day in her life. She had to endure a lot of pain and suffering to bring me into this world." To the question "How do you celebrate your birthday?", she answered, "We don't have over the top celebrations. It's a simple celebration, to life."

Frankly, I was impressed. I would have said the same. But the words coming out of a well-mannered Chinese girl will be so different from this burly guy.

Then a bunch of screaming girls came by. They verbally sniped at each other because no one wants to be interviewed, yet they wanted to sabotage a friend into being interviewed. So the youngest in the group was questioned.

"Oh, my birthday is the day I come to the world. It's significant because I was born."

"Celebrations? Oh, when we were younger, we had barbeques, parties, lots of food. Now we're older, there's a bit less. I go out with my friends."

Such a stark contrast.

Have we lost our ability to appreciate our presence being the outcome of someone's suffering? Have we even forgotten that we have not conquered the world for ourselves; the world merely tolerates our existence!

This is so sad.

As an educator, I think there's more to be done.

A little joke

A little joke

(Those who are familiar with Chinese Taoist culture and temple mediums might like this.)

Did you hear the Cirque Du Soleil laid off a bunch of temple mediums? They could not Quidam.

Consumed

Consumed

I

Fiery streaks flare
Still emotions stir
Equamnity deserts the sensible head

II

Heartbeat races
Pressure raises
Senseless paces
Explosive spaces

III

The angry line of red fills
the emotionless void
Dense fumes of volatile liquid permeate
the still air
Wisps of smoke waft up
the peaceful pieces
Flashpoint!
Charred remains welcome
the deadened soul

IV

Twitches
Contorted faces
Restless fidgeting hands
Build-up of pent-up pressure
Boiling lava courses through dilated veins
Trigger
Point

V

A crack
The incessant murmurs of disapproval and dissent hang irritatingly
elongates
Voices of contradiction and interruption accuse maliciously
Other cracks
Piteous sounds of pleading ignored deafeningly
develop
Shouts of disagreements and accusations reverberate infinitely
Structure
Cacophonous din of holier-than-thou to's and fro's
explodes

VI

Like yeast in a small ball of dough
It grows
Tripling in size
Killed by high heat

Feng Shui?

Feng Shui?

Bukit Panjang Plaza must have been stricken with the stupidity curse today. Read the following entries and see if it's true. All entries, except Morons? and Perverted Theory took place in BPP.

Blindness

Blindness

At first, I saw her. The cashier was at her station, though there was no line waiting to pay.

Then I went to look around and picked up some mooncakes.

I went back to the same cashier station and there was no one there. And there were two others in front of me.

There was nothing at the station to say that it was closed. So we waited.

Then my friend said, "Eh, there's another cashier there."

I quickly made my move there.

But it's weird that the organisers of the podium sale did not think they needed to have signs to tell us where the cashiers are located, especially when they closed a station.

What lack of foresight.

Foolishness

Foolishness

You invite me to taste the mooncakes you are promoting.

Your income depends on my buying the mooncakes.

I take a small sliver, flatten it with my tongue and out oozed the lard used to make the filling of the mooncake smooth.

I commented, "Wah! So oily."

She replied, "Aiyon! You know how to eat mooncake or not? Must be oily then nice. Oilier, better."

I think, "Foolish woman. I'm already dying under my layers of fats..."

But I said, "Thank you. Not my taste." And I look for a dustbin to spit out the viscuous morsel.

Group Stupidity

Group Stupidity

You're a group of 5 persons in a food court waiting for seats.

You find 4 seats at one end on a table for 12. Two of you sit down and wait for the family occupying the middle 5 seats to clear.

Then some seats are cleared as the members who had finished their dinner vacates the table.

So, you carry on to linger at your seats without making any move to occupy the table.

Then someone comes along and, leaving the four seats that you've occupied, sits in the seats in the middle.

Now, you're stuck with 4 seats for 5 persons again. And you look at one another.

Retards

Retards

A family was going down the travellator from B1 to B2. (Travellators are different from escalators as instead of steps, they have a moving flat sloping surface.)

To act as though she's very smart, elder sister started to walk backwards on the travellator. Younger sister immediately followed suit. So as their parents go further down the moving slope, elder sister tried to defy the travellator's motion.

Just then, I stepped on and she nearly knocked into me. I immediately went, "OI!"

She got a shock, quickly moved forward, and her father scolded her.

She looked back and I shot her a rude glare.

She has the making of a slut - when her husband scolds her, she'll seek her extra-marital boyfriend for comfort.

Bitch

Bitch

I should say BLIND BITCH.

How can any one be so damned blind to walk between a Bengawan Solo cake display shelf, behind her daughter and not see that there isn't much of any road between me and the cake shelf?

The daughter cleared between the shelf and I. The BLIND BITCH MUM acted like ANOTHER MORON, swayed her BLOODY BIG BACKSIDE, and promptly brushed the sole of her slippers (I think they were Neckermans or imitation) against my feet and toe nails.

I glared at her and she quickly apologized. So I countered, "Walk also cannot walk properly."

Moron?

Moron?

It's not easy to see moronic behaviour as you walk along the street. But how do you know how you can confirm who's the real moron? Simple.

Walked behind two siblings when I was crossing from Alexandra Market to Ikea. Elder boy tried to mark across the pedestrian crossing. Younger boy tried to imitate.

Elder boy raised left hand and left leg, right hand and right leg as he marched. Younger boy didn't manage that. He raised the left hand and the right leg, and vice versa.

Who's the real moron? My money's on the older brother...

Perverted Theory

Perverted Theory

I think I've figured out why Singapore has a depressed birth rate.

When kids are young, they are given dolls to play with. So these little ones mummy their li'l ones.

When these kids grow up, they feel as though they've spent an entire life time looking after li'l ones that NEVER seem to grow up.

So they don't any more li'l ones, even those that they give birth too.